my son is now 18 months old. he wont sleep in his own bed and when we tyr and let him "cry it out" he climbs out of his crib. what should we do ?
Hi,
This is the hardest thing to get kids to do. My daughter was so
hard to get in her bed! What worked for her was to give her something of mine to sleep with. It was just a stuffed monkey ,
but because it was mine it worked! She slept with this monkey until she got married. Hope this helps.
I was a single mom mos of my son's life and he slept with me ontil he was 3. at that time I took him down and he got to pick out his own bed and I had to sit with him until fe fell asleep for the first few weeks I had to lay with him then I moved to the floor by his bed and then across the room until finaly I made it out to the hall. It is an adjustment for anyone but I never felt right about just letting him cry. He is 5 now and has no problen sleeping in his uwn bed in his room.
Your his mother go with what you feel is right.
Try nurturing him thru this needy phase and let him sleep with you. If you extinguish the need, the behavior changes. I suggest reading The Family Bed. It is really great in explaining why he is going thru this phase. It is a type of separation anxiety. Very age appropriate timing. If you give in and let him in your bed, he won't need it as much. Then when he is a little older (about 2), you will be able to reason with him. It makes all the difference in the world. He'll be able to understand WHY and not feel rejected like his needs are ignored. Hang in there!
My son is 19 months old and is going through the same thing. Will sleep in his bed some days and others just wants to cuddle with Mom. I read the Family Bed this last week, and now I'm not worried about letting him jump in with me every once in a while. Friends and co-workers told me to let him 'cry it out' and I think I ended up feeling more like I was abandoning him then helping him sleep better. Plus, we'd spend hours walking the floor after he'd figured out how to get out of his crib. So, if you don't mind the waiting period and actually being able to explain it to your child when they are a smidge older, I think it might be worth the wait.
Hi M..
When i read your request for advice it brought back memories of my son when he was that age. He did the same thing. We tried letting him cry is out, and he never did! We tried staying next to his crib and every night moving the chair closer to the door and it didnt work. We tried SOO many things that never worked. We were tired and even tired of him sleeping in our bed. I finally one night took the crib mattress out of his crib and put it next to our bed. I put pillows around the mattress so that he wouldn't roll off and wake himself up. IT WORKED! I layed with him on our bed until he fell asleep and then i would put him on the little mattress on the floor. He slept there for about 3 months. I bought a netted rail for twin sized mattress and used it on the crib mattress and move the mattress to the other side of the room. He then slept there for another 3 months. We went out and bought a twin bed and Nemo sheet set (he was into nemo then) and made a BIG deal about his new bed. And within 2 weeks after we got his new bed he was in his room. He started taking naps in the new bed and then it turned into night time too! Me or My husband still lay with him on our bed to fall asleep but then transfer him into his room.
Hopefully you find something that works! I know how frustrating it can be. Good Luck
You can try to have just a regular, solid routine to get him down. Once he is in the crib, tell him you'll be right back. The first time, come back in five minutes. The second time, ten minutes, then fifteen, etc. until he is asleep. If you knows you are coming back, maybe that will help him feel more secure. Time is a tough concept when they are that young. You may have to do shorter increments of time.
If you are afraid he is going to get hurt falling out of the crib, you could take the rail off (if your crib converts) and put up a gate in the doorway instead. He may fall asleep on the floor, but at least he won't fall out of the bed.
These are tough times. By bedtime, I have little patience for my 3 year old's tricks. We are currently trying a reward system I learned from a middle school autism teacher to help him stay in bed and not cry. He's getting better, but not perfect. If it helps, every night you'll know there is at least one other parent struggling at bedtime, too.
Stay in the room with him, next to the crib. Don't pay any attention to him, just be there. Every time he climbs out just put him back in without saying a word. He'll get tired and fall asleep. The next night sit further away and do the same thing. It will take about a week until you are eventually sitting at the door or outside the room. You have to follow through or it won't stick. Remember don't respond to any request, don't acknowledge, your presents is enough to help him feel safe. Good luck
it helps to know his sleep routine before this.
was he sleeping with mommy/daddy?
sleeping on his own and all of a sudden its not working anymore?
sleeping in his own bed in the same room as mommy/daddy?
I am going to assume you have the matteress at the lowest height setting.
If your son is climbing out, it would be a good time to consider a toddler bed in his own room. They sit lower to the ground using his crib matteress. I have 3 grown kids and they all were different when it came to having their "own" bed. It is not safe for him to be climbing out of his crib. If you put him in your bed, you will have problems later on when you do want privacy in your bedroom. My kids loved their big boy beds. They each got to pick it out for themselves; which made it special.
We had the same problem with our daughter when she was that age. I think it's common. And after asking around for advice, it seemed the only choices I had were to let her cry it out or let her sleep with us. My husband and I weren't comfortable with the cry it out method or sitting beside the crib and not paying attn. So we chose to let her sleep with us. And she slept with us until she was almost 3. Have you tried letting him fall asleep with you and then moving him to his crib? Or will he just wake up and do the same routine? I say just find out what's most comfortable for all of you. That way, everyone gets some sleep =).
