Help/support??

K. i would be glad to listen and give my 2 cents worth to night time habits...i am grandma-ma of 4 and have helped many a momma with this same issue...but it doesn't happen over night. debbi

Hi K.,
I have a 19 month old with whom we went through some interesting sleep issues. I know how frustrating it can be! Let me know if there is anything I can do. I know the book HEalthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child has been a lifesaver for me.

We just did the bedtime routine, and 10 minute checks. My son had a terrible time breaking the reflux cycle, and then he had learned the waking behavior.

I am not a cry it out mom but we did have to leave him to figure it out for short periods. We opted for 10 minutes.

We would do the bedtime ritual, and put him in his bed, and tell him we would be back to check on him if he needed us. If he cried, we would set our timer for 10 minutes. When it went off, we would go reassure, pat, but not pick him up if he settled with our presence. Then, we would give the same reassurance that we would check on him.

At first it was horrible, but we saw him calming himself within a week in significant ways. In two weeks he was settling down with only needing 1 check. If he's sick it blows it out of the water, of course, and we have to go back to setting the timer.

The reason I like this method is because it allows him some space to work things out but we are still going to help him and he *knows* we will come. The other thing I like is that it kind of puts the ultimate structure of the situation back in our hands, instead of leaping up every time he decides he doesn't want to sleep. We will work with him but we will determine the parameters, as the parents. It was nice to feel the dynamic shift in that direction, and make a solution that met his needs, allowed him to learn, didn't break our hearts, etc. It was a nice compromise for us.

We were not able to cosleep past a year. Really, some people are very inflexible about sleeping habits and what you should do about it, but you have to weigh what works for your family. This is a very stressful thing, but my son now goes to bed beautifully and he trusts us to come if he cries, and he just turned 3. You have to do what's right for your family.

I wish you luck. Feel free to email me at treefrog at usa dot net if you'd like to talk about it.

I wish you luck!

H.

The Washington Post had an excellent article about this on the 7th or 8th. It was in one of the question columns in the Style section. BabyWise is also a good resource. Check it out from the library.

K.
I don't know what you have tried but here is an idea. Maybe have just some quiet time, give a bath & look at a favorite book together. Have soft music in the bedroom & maybe a night light. Hope it helps.
A.

I have custody of my 3 year niece with her 5 year old brother as well as 2 of my own. I've gone through a lot with my niece this passed year and have gotten lots of different advice. I had to try a lot of different things. If you'd like you can write to me at ____@____.com and I could share my experiences and explain what I think works and doesn't work.

Hi K.,

I'm not sure I can help because I'm not sure what the specific issue is. I can tell you that a LOT of 3-yr olds have sleep issues!!! Mine sure does but I try to stick with a complete bedtime routine (brush teeth, wash hands, read the SAME book, etc.). As for the 8 month old, forget discipline and just try to establish a routine. If there are major changes in the house (divorce, death, etc.) or they sense your anxiety/stress, this definitely will affect their behavior. Kids are very receptive to our feelings! Keeping calm and firm usually works best. If you feel you would like to talk to me just email me back and I'll send you my cell #. What area are you living in? I'm in Burtonsville. Take Care, S.

Hi K.,

I just went through some sleep problems with my 2 1/2 year old. He is an extremely strong-willed energetic child that it took us two years to realize he requires the minimum amount of sleep, if that, that is recommended. Along with other things we had a horrible time with his going to bed and staying in bed and sleeping through the nigh until just recently. What kind of issues are you having?

I was/am in the same situation! I have an almost 3 year old boy - and a 4month old boy! We just got my older son to finally sleep through the night! I would love to chat and hear more and maybe I can give you some ideas that may work - believe the emotional/tiredness is the worst! My e-mail is ____@____.com ...you can e-mail!

Hi K.,
I'm a mom of two girls 4,5 and 6 month.
We sleep family bed so we are all in one bed - yes we have a kingsize, and we all sleep great. No problems what so ever, and we sleep through the night very well - unless the little one is going through a developmental spurt and needs to eat during the night.
A 3 year old can't you really discipline, because she is way, way to young to do so. She must get the confidence from you to do so and that might be that you start sleep with her in her bed and as soon as she is asleep you go to your own bed. When it comes to the 8 month old, try to have the little one to fall asleep first and then the older one. It might take some time.
Good Luck,
L.
Cell ###-###-####

Hi K. B ... it did not give us the area where you live but if you are in the N. VA I would be glad to try to help you. you can see my ad at: http://www.mamasource.com/business/9264250539716116481
if you are interested.
or contact me at ____@____.com
blessings
R.

great book The No Cry Sleep Solution
9they also have The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers)

I would be willing to "talk" with you. My daughter has just turned 5 but we have had consistent sleep issues since she was born. Everything I read talks about how important it is to let the child fall asleep on their own and we made a huge mistake in rocking her to sleep when she was a baby and as she got older rubbing her back and hair until she was almost asleep. We finally started to only read a story before bed and give a hug and a kiss and tell her we loved her. If she started to fuss (and by fuss I mean throwing a HUGE temper tantrum), we shut the door. If she kept opening the door, we kept shutting it. If she got out of her bed, we would quietly lead her back to bed. Once she realized she was not getting to us and we were not giving in, she started to go to bed much easier. I hope this helps and feel free to correspond as needed. Sleep is such a precious commodity, both for the parents and the children.

Hi K. B. Guess what? I am also K. B. I would be glad to try to help with the problem but you don't tell us what it is. Whatever it is, it's great that you are reaching out to others for help. Try to always remember that if you share your problems they are lighter to carry. Contact me if you want. K. Bean

Sounds like you are overwhelmed. I would love to know more specifically what issues you are having. I have an almost 3 year old and a 4 month old...but I also have a 7 and a 6 year old...so I've been thru a few kids to hopefully give you some insight...so tell me more? email me too at ____@____.com

Been there, done that, still doing that with a 2 y.o and 5 y.o. My boys are wonderful in a million ways, but 5 y.o with sleep issues also has many other issues. Here are 2 practical bits... 1) Melatonin has taken the edge off the sleep issues. And Sleep helps everyone cope with everything else. 2)there is a wonderful program called cooperative problem solving for discipline. I started it with my 5 y.o when he was about 3 and 1/2. He was on the young side, but practice with these ideas has been so helpful. He now helps Mommy calm down and find solutions. The book I used to learn about it has a scary title, The Explosive Child, but I knew about its great reputation because I have been in the field of Special Ed for 10 years. I just never had time to read this particular book. (I did't really have time when I did read it, but I put it next to the toilet in the bathroom.)
Good luck and if you want to e-mail/chat you can find me at mommy42boys at yahoo dot com

Hi K.,
I am not sure what problems you are having but I'll be happy to give some advice, in you would like. My daughter has been a bad sleeper from day 1 and I have had to work hard at making her comfortable and happy in her bedroom. It has been very chanllenging and sleep deprivation can make you grumpy, short tempered and irrational. I did have a philosophy to never let my children cry though so i don't know if that is along the same lines are your philosophies. I can't say it is right or wrong but my son is a fantastic sleeper and my daughter is not. I think some of the things I have made sure to accomplish during the day are 1) full tummies 2) lots of exercise 3) warm comfortable beds with cuddly objects. The exercise is key....I find when the weather is nice and we are outside getting lots of exercise, everyone has a good night sleep.
I chalk my daughters strange sleep habits up to genetics. I truly feel like she doesn't need as much sleep as I do. If she spends the day relaxing, coloring, watching TV, she is just not tired. Many nights she would come in my room and just tell me she is not tired. I always do the same thing, rock her (not anymore, she is 4), tuck her in and tell her "mommmy is tired and is going back to her bed". She never wants to sleep with us (that would have been easier). Thank the lord for her fisher price aquarium because she uses that to put herself back to sleep. If you want to talk more, you can eamil me directly. I would try hard to study their habits and see if you can learn maybe why your kids have a hard time through the night. Hopefully the 3 year old is not napping because that would be anyones advice to give up the nap.
Take care...I do know how exhausted you feel.
S.

Hi,
I have a 31/2 year old that we have had issues on sleeping as well. You have to create a routine...the same thing every night. If you get off track then it throws them off as well. There are other things we do as well. You can email me @ ____@____.com If you email me I can give you my phone number as well if you want to talk.
Tran

I would be happy to chat with you about sleep issues! Both my children until recently have had sleep issues. I am hoping we finally have it under control. My son will be 4 in May and my daughter will be 2 in april. I understand sleep issues from young to 4 years! We have had troubles with both going to sleep, staying in bed, frequent awakenings, ect..... Send me a message if you want to chat. B.

Hi, K.! Sounds like you have alot going on. I'm happy to lend an empathetic ear. I don't promise advice but sometimes all we need to do is talk through a situation. I have children close to yours (daughter 2.5 yrs and son 8 mo.)
My daughter isn't the best sleeper - hasn't been since day one. My son is better but different and we're dealing with different things with him. I'd love to talk. How do you want to proceed -- phone call, e/mail (____@____.com)

-M.