Non-Napping 10 Month old..HELP!

Hi,
Try Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr Mark Weisbluth. He is strict... but it will work, I promise you!! Good luck!

Get the book Babywise. This helped me so much. It is about 200 pages. It is a fast read. Skip to the section on naps and sleep. Once I got my baby girl(who is now 16 months old) on this plan, I could finally get some sleep as well. I hate having people telling me what to read, but I am so glad I took this advice. Follow everything they say to do. It was hard for me to do at first but I stuck with it and she is so much happier and I actually get to take showers. :) Hang in there.

I suspect your baby keeps getting up after 5 to 30 minutes because you are willing to pick her up. I know it's heartbreaking, and I've already had to go through this with 2 children, one 4 years old and one 8 months old...but if you know for certain that she is: not hungry, not in pain, and really tired, then put her in her crib and leave her there. Let her cry it out...it won't hurt her and if anything it'll make her more tired so she'll sleep longer when she does fall asleep...and trust me, she WILL. It may take 2 or 3 days until she just falls asleep on her own without protesting, but she will do it. You have to let her know that she's sleeping because you're telling her to. Sounds cruel, but kids NEED naps, and so do overworked moms!! You're doing her a favor by making her stick to a schedule. I wouldn't use this method for a baby under 6 months old, but by 10 months they should be taking regular naps.
My sister, a mom of 4, thought I was mean and didn't do this with her first child. Let me tell you, she took my advice with the last 3. Her first born is, to this day, a horrible sleeper - fights sleep to the end - but her other three take regular naps and are able to soothe themselves.
I hope this helps.

Dear K. - I feel your pain (... or rather felt your pain)!

My pediatrician recommended the book "Happy Child, Healthy Sleep Habits." It is wonderful, and takes you from birth through the teenage years (my doc has six of his own). Hoenestly, this book will only work if you are truly ready to commit to a schedule and routine. My oldest (who didn't sleep day OR night before I started this program - and I breast fed her for 15 months) became such a great sleeper, and still is today (she's 7, and I never have to fuss about bedtime - I know that sounds unimaginable). If you keep remembering how important good sleep habits are for your child's development (a sleepy and overtired child can learn as well as a well-rested child), and forget about the pain it may cause you when you hear cries (this is not one of those cry it out methods - but it does teach your child, and train her body, to fall and stay asleep). My dear friend's daughter was the same way. She is now about to turn 16. She has wonderful sleep habits and is a spectacular student and athlete. This book gave my husband and I back our evenings (until the next child), and gave me some nice time to do whatever (even nap) twice a day.

Good luck, from a mom who's been in the trenches. I can't recommend this book strongly enough!
S.

Hi, K.! Don't feel bad, we've all been there. :-) First off, have you given up caffeine? I didn't/couldn't until daughter was 2 mos and I found out that it passes right through breastmilk and their little bodies don't clear the caffeine like ours do, so she was literally too wired to sleep. It was worth the three days of headaches to get her napping.

She was also colicky and we learned the miracle of Mylicon for gas!! Doesn't bother them in the slightest, just breaks up the gas bubbles, so you could literally give it to her all day if needed. It was a LIFESAVER.

Have you tried a white-noise machine of some sort? A fan runs in my daughter's room 24/7 just to block out the house noise.

Finally, would she rather sleep on her side or her tummy? My daughter went to tummy sleeping at about 6 mo. I couldn't stop her from turning over so just made her bed very safe and left her to it. She's always been perfectly fine.

And when all else fails, develop a schedule and stick to it! Nap, food, play, nap. Our rule of thumb has been, a baby that wakes up crying is not ready to get up. Give her a few min, up to 10, to go back to sleep.

I hope some of this helps even a little!

First off... I am not a mom. I get my information from my little niece Morgan and her super mom Hilary.

Hilary said the other day that if you bathe the baby right before bed every night, she will sleep all the way through without swaddling.

As for the gas, you might switch to formula. I know you want to breast feed, but you may need to switch to a lactose free formula. Your baby may not be lactose intollerant.

Also, a small pinch of baking soda in water is good for gas if she is having issues burping. I was a baby that didn't burp very well on my own. And this was the solution the dr gave my mother.

I hope this information helps! Good luck dear!

Hi K.!
I would really try to get a "soothing" tool for her. At that age, my son loved the pacifier and we only used at night-time and naptime. It definitely was a great tool to get him to realize that "OK now it's naptime - time to go to sleep - because I have this pacifier now, etc."
Plus, I used a Fisher-Price baby monitor that played a lightshow on the ceiling while playing soothing lullabies. He really got used to this and it helped a great deal, especially if he woke up too early in the morning or too early from a nap -- I would walk in, not make eye contact, push the button on the monitor to start the lightshow/music, and say "no, it's still night-night time, close your eyes and go to back to sleep." and then I promptly walked out of the room and closed the door.
The first day of doing this is hard because they will cry and not understand why you're not picking them up. But trust me, they will get tired and will eventually learn that they need more sleep and not to fight it so hard. After the 2nd day of doing this ... he would sleep soundly 10-11 hrs at night and at your daughter's age he had 2 naps = 2 hrs. each. Now, he just has one nap for 2 hrs or 1 1/2hr.

Now...they will go through phases in which they may revert back to bad sleeping habits, but keep on being consistent. Don't pick them up, don't make eye contact, don't sweet talk, so they know you mean business. I know it sounds harsh. But I think by now you should be able to recognize if they are crying just to be held or if they are crying for a need (hunger, pain, diaper, etc.)

Also, if your daughter continues to wake up early...try checking her diaper. My son has a habit of saving his bowel movements for naptime - I think, so he can procrastinate his nap. So it almost never fails that as soon as I set him down for a nap, he's crying through the door "poo-poo." And sure enough, he had a bowel movement. So obviously that dirty diaper is uncomfortable and that might wake her up from naptime too early -- even if it was just a wet diaper.

Anyway... hope this helps. Besides the pacifier, and baby monitor, I know other moms have used just regular soothing lullaby music from a CD, or a "lovie" - a small blankie or stuffed animal, etc. All of these help prepare and give signals to the baby that it's time to go to sleep. I also some moms use the Aquarium Soothing sounds by Fisher Price that hangs on the crib as their soothing tool. You may have to find what will work best for your daughter.

Email if you have any questions. Good luck! Don't give up on the naps! She needs her quiet time and so do you!
-A.

I am going through the same thing with my 9 month old. He would only nap for 30-45 minutes. When I told the pediatrician he said that he was waking up after a normal sleep cycle and couldn't get himself back to sleep and to leave him in the crib for the duration of what the nap should be(he said at 9 months 2 1.5-2hr naps). It has worked within a few days. He is now taking longer naps without waking. He really seemed wide awake after 30-45 minutes but I guess he just wanted out :)

K. -

Okay, first - stop reading the books! (I know, I'm just as obsessed, and it will make you crazy.)But seriously - there is no better expert about your baby than you, even if you've had zero experience before. That mommy gut-instinct is powerful.

You didn't indicate whether your girl seems to need more sleep or not - is she cranky a lot, etc. I went through this with my son (he's now 2) and I swore he didn't get enough sleep, but his doctor swore louder that he was, and I shouldn't be so concerned.

I would definitely schedule a visit with the doc to rule out anything medical. Once that is clear, then if you think she's waking up because of discomfort (not being swaddled), maybe try to recreate that cozy feeling - maybe try a sleeper (those zip up thingies), or putting her in a bassinet. Those two things can help with the coziness.

What I really got from your request, though, was that YOU were going crazy over this. So maybe the issue isn't so much your daughter's sleep as it is you getting a break. If this is the case, then maybe you should look into getting some help - a babysitter for a few hours so you can take a good nap, etc.

I promise you this phase will pass, and a year from now it will be a fuzzy memory. In the meantime, keep your head above water....good luck!

S.

My daughter had collic and would not sleep at night so I know your pain. Try using Gripe Water to soothe her gas. It's a miracle potion! You can get it at any health food store and it's all natural. I don't know if you are supplimenting with formula, but Infamil has a great formula for gas/colic that is called Neutramigen. Try these things and it may help.

Hi K.,

The first thing that comes to mind for me is teeth. Is she possibly cutting some new teeth? You might try giving her some tylenol and using orajel before nap time to see if it helps her sleep longer.

With my son, I was able to get something from the pharmacy called "hurricaine". It has 2x the dosage of benzocaine than what baby orajel does. They don't sell it over the counter, but will order it for you. My youngest grew a tooth a week for several weeks and had 8 by the time he was 12 months, so we used the hurricaine alot!

Hope this helps!

Sincerely,
H.
Mommy to Mandy (5) & Joey (18mo)

i know a lot of moms who complain about their short napping babies. The thing that worries me about your child is the need to be swadled and held in order to sleep. It could be that your child is going through a transitional phase if you have been holding and swadling her for naps in the past. If that's the case, only time and consistency of sleeping on her own will help. If this is not the case, then your child may have some extra sensory needs she's trying to meet. You may want to call ECI here in Plano and talk to an occupational therapist. Sometimes doctors will blame it on physiological things and not recognize sensory needs. An OT can help evaluate the reason she's not napping. Another question I would ask is why is she having to be swadled at night? Is she waking because her limbs are twitching when she sleeps? I don't want to freak you out about sensory dysfunction, but it is a growing issue and I would rather you have more information than you can handle than too little info if there is a real problem. The need for deep pressure for calming us is innate to most humans. We wring our hands when we're nervous, we like hugs when we're upset. This causes our joints to compress and sends a feeling of calm. This is exactly what swadling and your holding her does. It could be somthing she's used to, or something she just really needs. I know you said you're trying not to hold her and I understand that's what the baby books say, but you're child may not have read those books and so I would say you need to just meet her needs for now until you figure out what's causing them.

hey K.-
have you thought about not swaddling her anymore? we were having similar issues with our little guy at about the 4-5 month stage. we stopped swaddling and had a difficult week while he was learning to self-soothe. we had read everything and talked to a lot of parents - all of whom recommended letting him cry it out and learning to figure it out himself. it was hard, but the BEST thing for all of us. we stopped swaddling cold turkey and let him cry it out. i couldn't stand to listen so i took a sleep aid, put in my earplugs and my husband listened for me. he would check on him to make sure he was ok, but would not pick him up or give him any attention. the first night - no swaddle with about 3 hours of crying. the second night - about 30 minutes. the third night (and every one since) - no crying. he sleeps 12 hours each night without interuption and 3 naps during the day (____@____.com hour and 1 @ 2-3 hours). i think your little gal is ready for more sleep but she may be very used to your attention during the day and night. it may take longer since she is a little older, but i think it would be good for you both. she really needs more sleep than what she is getting. good luck!

We had a similar situation with our daughter (who is now 19 months old). She was very gassy. I breast-fed her until 10 months (when I stopped producing milk). She wouldn't sleep through the night. We swaddled her for quite a long time (though I can't remember now when we stopped). She slept in a swing until she reached the weight limit.

I was up 2-3 times with her until she was 8 months old and I purchased the Fisher Price Flutterbye Soother crib toy. It plays music and a "video" on the ceiling. She learned to turn it on herself and it's been a life saver. She'll wake up and turn it on, then be lulled back to sleep. I don't know if it will work for you, but it's worth a try. We bought one for my mother's house too.

You might want to visit a pediatrician to rule out any health issues too!

Good luck.

S.

I followed tips from Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and Babywise to establish both of my children's routines sleeping, eating and waketime. It was very effective for both of them. Fortunately, I started very early on in using these tips to establish independent sleeping with my son (who is now 4) from about 1 month and my daughter from birth (she is now 7 months). It sounds as if your child really relies on you holding them or using other sleep props to get to sleep versus them being comfortable and happy in their bed. It will definitely be frustrating in changing these old habits and take about 1 week or so and some crying to teach your baby to become an independent sleeper but if you stick with it you and your child will be much happier. Babywise is the quicker read on sleep, you can get the gist of it in one day or less but some tricks from Secrets that I found effective were noticing the babies cues of tiredness like yawning, eye rubbing or fussiness and getting them down to bed awake at that point. They will cry if they are used to you holding them and falling asleep. Go back in periodically and pat them to let them know you are there and be reassuring but resist the temptation to pick them up and go back to your old ways, it will only make the transition longer and harder.

K.-my 7 month old baby does the same thing...several catnaps during the day(3-5 30 mintue naps). She sleeps well at night. I have tried every sleep trainers method out there--nothing works! I think some babies just sleep less during the day..let's see what the other moms have to say!

Hi K.,

I'm also a first time mom to a 10.5 month old little girl who won't go down by herself. Getting her to nap or fall asleep for the night requires me (not dad) holding her until she drifts off and then gently placing her in her crib.

Yes, I know this against all the advice out there about teaching your baby how to fall asleep by herself. However, Sofia is also in a separation anxiety phase. During the days she also has moments when she just needs a hug or some reassurance that mama is around. I suppose she feels the same way before falling asleep so I've opted for holding her then as well.

My hope is that it is indeed a phase she outgrows and when she's ready to sleep on her own, she will. This is how she's done most things so far (for example, drinking from a sippy cup - just one day decides now I can do this without help).

She sleeps for about 45 - 60 mins in the morning and an afternoon nap of about the same. Night time sleep is about 8 - 9 hours. It seems to be enough for her as her days are busy and she's happy and energetic.

hope that helps or at least let
s you know you're not alone!
P.

I went through something a little like this with my son. The problem was hunger! If she's eating no solids at this point, try adding a little rice cereal in with a little more milk.

If she's sleeping through the night but not napping, it may be something as simple as her surroundings. My daughter will wake up when you walk in the room, but my son could sleep in a wind tunnel and never wake up. My mother used to turn on the dryer for me. I couldn't sleep without it for the longest time! Is the TV on, or is it too quiet?
As for the gas, try Mylicon. It's a gas relief made especially for babies. Also, check your diet. Have you changed your eating habits?
Let me know if this works!

Good Luck!
E.

K.-
Ugh - I am SO sorry for you. I have 11 mo. old b/g twins, and sleep has never been real high on their agenda, either. I can sympathize with the frustration, for sure.
I was really stressing out about it until I talked to our pediatrician at their 9 mo. well baby visit. He basically said not to stress out, that not all babies are going to be good nappers, and that some babies will never take naps, or at least good naps. My little girl is a great sleeper, but my son is a terrible sleeper at night AND during the day. The new philosophy I have been using, that really seems to be working, is that I am just watching for any sleep signs (rubbing eyes, yawning, extreme fussiness) and when they have been going on for a few minutes I know it's a good time to attempt the nap. If my kids aren't ready they will seriously cry forever, and I don't have the fortitude to deal with that noise all the time, so unless they are ready it's been easier for me to let them stay up. They seem to be a little gassy, too, and they have been cutting teeth really badly since 3 mos., so all of this added up is a disaster. Anyway, I don't know that this email was helpful, but at least I can definitely share in your misery! Have you tried not picking her up right away and letting her cry through it back to sleep? This has also worked for me occassionally.
Anywho, good luck. I hope it gets better for you!
K.