Seeking Help with 7 Month Old Waking 3 Times a Night for Feedings

Hi, C.! I hear the stress you feel. It's hard to be sleep-deprived and harder to bear crying. Here's my thinking.

Give yourself and your child permission to find your own way. There is nothing that says that your son needs to be sleeping through the night right now. If he's not, he's not. Just not worrying about that might reduce your stress levels a bit. I guarantee to you that he will sleep through the night someday. And it's not usual for children to be wakeful. There's no one right way to be.

There are some practical things you can do. Start by trying to get him down to waking up only once between bedtime and morning. Don't make your objective "sleeping through the night" right now. To do that, push his bedtime back from 6 pm to 7 or even 7:30 pm. That may buy you one wake-up at 1 or 2 and then sleeping until morning. (And 5:30, alas, is not too early for a baby to wake up. That, too, will change but you may have to live with it for now.)

To push bedtime back, make sure he's getting a nap in the afternoon and then that there are things happening in the late afternoon and evening. Get a go-to-bed routine going that is the same every night. He's not too young to be eating solid foods, so be sure he's not hungry (but also not stuffed!) at bedtime.

He's not likely waking up hungry three times in the middle of the night - he's just waking up. So going to him, patting his back, singing softly, putting on a white noise generator... all of these may get him back to sleep without feeding. I would even suggest that your baby's father get up for one of the wake-ups - and not do any bottle-feeding, just soothing. If you can stick with this plan for seven days, you likely will get at least one of the waking times reduced.

Eventually, C., he will sleep longer, I promise you. And nothing you do right now will have long lasting effects. Your son is a very small child, not an adult laboratory rat. You need not fear "training" unwanted behaviors.

If you want to think together about this more, do contact me through my blog at http://mothersmentor.blogspot.com and click on the email link there.

Best wishes!

D.. A

Hi C.-

You are very strong indeed for making it this long without much sleep. I just wanted to encourage you to let your baby cry. I'm on my second child now. My first child slept pretty well through on her own with just a little guidance but my second was completely backwards waking up like it was morning at about 8pm at night and then not going down until 4 in the morning. Thankfully I read the book Babywise which institutes feeding on a schedule. You don't not feed them when they're hungry it's more like you wake to feed them when they may miss a feeding due to sleeping. This is a training. I myself wish my mom would have let me cry because to this day I have trouble getting to sleep. She said i would wake really happy like it was party time in the middle of the night and she would hang out with me till I fell asleep. Now I'm having to train myself and my children. Bottom line is that the crying does soothe them and then eventually they don't cry anymore. My second daughter is now 7 weeks old and last night in fact she slept from 11pm to 6 am. This time she didn't cry at all I woke up first. My other daughter is 17 months old and still sleeps through the night 12 hours and wakes up chattering and happy. I just want to encourage you that they will only cry for a little bit because they are resetting there clock. Also my 7 week old besides being barely past new born status is so much more alert now that are days and nights are straight and smiling. whatever you do I wish you well.

First you will not raise a wimp if you tend to him, I have a 19 year old son and never let him cry it out. He is now very independent and willing to "take risks" because he know we will be there for him. I also did not let me children cry it out at night and yes it took longer for them to sleep through the night but it all turned out fine . I think you should do what is best for you and your family and not worry about your friends and what their baby is doing. Enjoy where you are bc it will be over soon.

Hi C.. I also have a 7 month old baby boy. We have a family bed, so when he wakes up to nurse, which is also about 3 times a night, we just get to snuggle and nurse and fall back asleep. I know some people don't do the family bed thing, but I think it is wonderful. I don't like the cry method. I don't think you will be raising a whimp if you answer his cry immediately, you will be raising a confident, secure, happy boy that trusts you!

I am sure you will get many answers that will tell you that their baby slept though the night...but I know a lot of babies and not one of them regularly made it through the night before well into their second year, neither breast- nor bottle feeders.

There is plenty of relatively new research that suggest that tending to your fussy baby, preferably before he cries is good for him, it supports a healthy bond and helps develop a trusting relationship between parent and child (Dr Sears and John Gottman are two of the more well known names). Extended crying may even have harmful effects on a child's psyche and health.
You are not raising a whimp, but a child that learns that compassion is important and you model this by being a compassionate parent that does not ignore his feelings, be it hunger or just loneliness.

How is it that we think that is is fine to feed a crying newborn's hunger for food, but a few months later some people tell you to ignore your childs emotional hunger for attention?

You have to do what works for your family and your baby.
I get up 2-3 times with my six months old and work 10 hour days - but I am a good sleeper and fall back asleep instantly after (often during) nursing her, thus I am not really sleep deprived.
This obviously is not a good idea if you're so sleep deprived that you can't function. If you feel you must sleep train your baby, there are plenty of methods that do not involve letting him "cry it out". I like the askdrsears website as a start...

I am the mother of an almost 9-month-old and have been having a great deal of trouble getting her to sleep the night. Babies sleeping through the night is a myth as most moms you talk to do not not have perfect babies who sleep through the night. What works best for me is making sure my daughter gets at least two solid naps during the day. The theory goes if they sleep better during the day they will sleep better at night. I have a hard time getting her to take good naps. Often I lay next to her to get her to sleep. It takes time and energy but the payback is worth it. Set a nap schedule. At the first sign of tired prepare a nap such as feeding and rocking to sleep.

My friend read a book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley(sp?. We, too, refuse to let our children cry it out. Also check Dr. Sears online. They disagree with letting little ones cry it out.

If your 7-month-old is sleeping a few hour stretches, in my opinion, I think that is pretty good. Every kid is different and eventually they will sleep through the night. Set a nap schedule. At the first sign of tired stop your busy life and help your baby get a good nap.

S.

Hi,
my daughter just turned 2yrs old yesterday & she still gets up 3 times anight to eat. I to have refused to do the crying method & no it does not raise whimps to provide for thier needs when they need you orfood. I was raised the same way ( being attended to when I needed it ) & I will guarentee you that I am no whimp.
Some children have higher metabolisums than others & it is these kids that need the extra meals in the night . I totally would not expect a 7mo to sleep all night - they still have SUCH tiny stomaches to last 8 hrs of sleep .
My advice is DO NOT rush him - give him the chance to be himself & fulfill his needs ( food ,ect) when he asked for it ( crying ,then talking) & you will be a good mom.
Remember that the books that talk about the kids habits & patterns ( ie sleeping thru the night) those are national AVERAGES not definetes.

Hi C.,

This is the classic dilemma!! Really, trust your gut on this. If you do not like to have your baby cry, then go to him and feed him. He is still a baby and cannot understand why you won't come. I also understand the parents who opt for the cry it out method. They are exhausted and they want to get some sleep!

I have two great kids. My daughter was sleeping through the night at 4 months on her own, we did not know that this is not always the case! I was breastfeeding her and she would wake up in the morning really hungry, but that was fine. My second child, a son, had a totally different sleeping style. He would only sleep for an hour or two at a time. I was up ALL night long. So we did bring him to bed with us to get some kind of sleep. As he grew he wanted to breastfeed all night long. So at 6 months we did move him out of our bed to his own, still in our room. Then at nine months we moved and at that point put him in his own room. I continued to get up two-three times a night to feed him until he was 18 months. At that point my husband steeped in and would go to him to sooth him so I could stop the BF at night. We felt at 18 months he could understand words and know that he could have nursing in the morning. He just a few months ago started sleeping through the night, he is 2 1/2! It was very hard work, and I and my husband were so tired most of the time, but I am really happy that we choose to do it this way. My son is a VERY happy, sweet boy. I do not think that tending to your babies needs makes him in to a sissy boy. They are babies! And when you meet their needs now, you develop a great bond, they trust you, and when they are teenagers you have a much better time with getting them to listen to you as you have established that trust when they were young.

I wish you the best, and I hope you can get some sleep!!
C.

Hey C.,

There are a lot of great ideas in this thread. I just want to say that that is all that they are. Just because it worked for one family doesn't necessarily make it sure-fire true or just because it's convincing doesn't make it right for your family. As in all other things having to do with your family You (the parents) have to decide what the priorities are for you and adjust what you do accordingly. I'd imagine that you are quite intimidated right about now about raising a successful child, maybe even worried and scared. Dealing with all of the little aspects that make up a child's life IS scary when we know we're responsible for the outcome. Read the advice and ideas and work through this problem as a family. Think about your goals for your little one and for your family as a whole and then figure out what ideas you can implement to reach those goals. I sincerely hope that this experience becomes one that grows your family together.

D.
____@____.com

I recommend reading Solve Your Childs Sleep Problems by
Richard Ferber - DON'T feel like you're committing yourself to the method just because you're reading the book. Read it first and then make up your mind about it when you're done. If you decide not to use the crying method he recommends then this book still has VERY helpful information about how children sleep. We still refer to it for our toddlers night fears etc. He has come up with this method to reduce the amount of crying as much as possible. I didn't want to let my son cry either but I had to do something (I was feeling angry at him for not sleeping and I feared that I would do something abusive in my sleepy stupor- he started waking every hour at 8 months old even though he had been sleeping most of the night before that and NOTHING else worked). I had my husband go up to check on him so I wouldn't have to hear him - to my suprise he only cried for a short time (about half and hour) and then slept the rest of the night and he slept through every night after that! It works great if you do it exactly as the book tells you to. Even if this isn't the method for you, you will benefit greatly from reading it! He is a child sleep expert ... Hope this helps and good luck! D.

I have raised my little 8 month old boy just like you have, and I will raise all of my children this way. I bought an arm's reach co-sleeper, which is like a little bed/crib that attaches onto the side of your bed, so you can roll over and feed him during the night; it hardly bothers me, and he is a very happy, healthy baby. That is how babies were raised for centuries; who knows why they need a little nursing at night, but my own son would refuse to nurse more than twice a day, while nursing good and long for about 6 times at night. I went with the flow, no worrying, and he gradually changed himself to nursing 6 or so times a day, and currently twice at night. He has never had any problems with shyness, which I think is because I have never left him to cry and become insecure. He is secure in the knowledge that I love him and will never leave him when he needs me, which he will eventually grow out of as he becomes able to do more and more for himself. Right now your little baby needs you because he can't even get up and get himself a drink if he's thirsty! And he's probably very thirsty at night (your milk is his drink as well as his food).

Don't worry about raising a wimp; you give him what he needs, cuddling, food, drink and love, and as he grows older, let him do the things you know he can do, help him with the things he can't quite do himself yet, and do the things for him that you know he can't do, while explaining to him how he will be able to do them later, and you will be a-okay.

Psychiatrists have found that when you let a little one cry too long, they fall into depression. So I don't recommend that. They also found that when people are responsive, the baby's overall health is better and crying is less over time than those that are not attended to.

With that in mind, to get him to sleep through the night, you need to give him more than milk to drink. You have to give him rice cereal mixed with either formula or your milk or water, or mashed up bananas. None of my three babies slept through the night at that age. That's a wish, not a reality. I wouldn't worry so much. He's fine. You can also cook carrots and potatoes until they are soft, mash them up with some butter and a little salt for dinner. They LOVE that! When my grandmother had my son eat that he gained weight and slept better at night.

I remember with my first child I felt the same way and couldn't bare to hear him cry. He was a good sleeper though. My second child was different. She was easy to put down, but would wake three times a night for feedings as well. I hate to tell you, but some babies are just like that. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 14 months. What I did was start to take away one of the feedings. I was breastfeeding her so I just wouldn't breastfeed her the middle waking and instead i would bring her downstairs and check my email and then put her back to bed. As long as your son is healthy and growing you shouldn't have to feed him every time. He may just need a snuggle. I eventually dropped another feeding and she slowing started waking less and less. Eventually I only would give her milk and a graham cracker and put her back to bed. By 14 months she started sleeping through the night. She still wakes on occasion and we do the snack routine, but mostly she sleeps through the night. You have to decide when you have had enough and then take action. Lucky for us my daughter fell asleep within 3 minutes when we used the crying method. There are other methods, but you have to realize that kids will cry. I know it's hard believe me. Just be patient and you will figure it out.

I will say upfront that we did allow some crying to help our daughter learn to sleep through the night, but I understand that it's not the choice for everyone. No 'method' will work unless you are ready to stick with it!

If your pediatrician says it's OK to cut down on nighttime feedings, I would just focus on trying that (one feeding at a time). We did this around 6 months; instead of feeding her, I would go in, give her a pacifier, then leave her to fall back asleep. She cried some for about 3 nights, but always went back to sleep. After that, she no longer woke at that time. We did the same thing a few months later with her last nighttime feeding.

You could try the same approach with no crying...help him back to sleep, but just soothe, offer a pacifier, etc., rather than feeding him. But once you start, don't go back! He will just learn that if he's persistent, you will feed him, which could lead to lots of crying. When food is no longer available, there's a lot less reason to wake up!

I'm sure there are some good no-cry sleep books out there, too. I seem to hear lots about The No-Cry Sleep Solution and The Baby Whisperer. I really loved Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child, but Weissbluth does advocate for letting them cry some. If you can get past that, there's a lot of good research-based information about infant sleep in there, too.

Good luck! I hope more sleep is around the bend for you both!

Hi, I know what you are going through. My son is 12 months old now and he still get's up. What I have noticed that sleeping with him helps him to sleep longer. I don't know how you feel about the baby with you but it has helped me sleep the extra 2hrs which make a world of difference. Try to keep him awake till 8:00pm, I know it's hard but who said being a mother was easy! Also try a warm bath before he goes to sleep. I also have a 3 year old and they both sleep with me. My first never gave me a problem, it was my son. Good luck and hang in there. Remember one thing, you are not alone, I will be awake with you.

It helps to put them down after being fed while they are sleepy, but not quite out cold. That will really help you later when it's time to sleep through the night. If you want him to sleep later, you have to keep him up past 6 PM... I would try to keep him awake for 15 minutes more every few days, just to slowly change the schedual.

I've never been a "just let them cry" person until I'm sure they don't need the food in the night. I usually wean around 1 year and that's when I start letting them cry. It REALLY sucks at first, but it HONESTLY doesn't last very long. It's better in the long run... believe me, I did it wrong once because my daughter had ear infections and I felt bad about letting her cry. Long story short, she still woke up SOBBING 5-7 times a night until she was 4 and she HAD to be consoled to get back to sleep. That is not fun! Not something I would wish on my worst enemy :)

He will still love you in the morning. If you have an involved spouse, have him help you be strong about the crying at night... or have him promise to listen and you go out for a jog or something.

I was the same way when my son was first born. I always had him asleep before I put him down, and NEVER let him cry..way too painful to hear that helpless newbie cry! However that was only for the first 3 months. I read this book called "Becoming Babywise" some people may not agree with this book-but don't read it and take it as gospel-read it with an open mind and pick and choose what might work for your family. Its basically about putting your kid on a schedule that he knows, ie:feeding at 8/12/4/8 if you are on a every 4 hr sche, and waking at same time every day and going down for naps same time everyday and putting him to bed every night around the same time while he is still awake. He can be drowsy-but not asleep.
The MOST important thing to remember is that crying isn't BAD for them..its the only exercise they get when they are infants until they are able to roll. I started the babywise when my kid was a newborn-from the day he was born I wrote down and tried to feed at approx the same time and let him nap at the same time-until I went back to work and he is 18mo old now and so predictable now its almost sad! lol

So my advice after the long story is to remember DO whats BEST for YOUR family-and crying WON'T hurt him..also doing the babywise my son was sleeping through the night (9+hrs)at 4 months and if we decide to have another baby I would do the babywise again in a heartbeat. I have been able to put my son in bed awake since he was 4 mo old and he will go to sleep on his own-even when he wakes up in the night he will talk himself back to sleep.

Proud mommy of one AWESOME 18mo old son!

Our son did the same thing, although he was hungry because he was so unhappy at daycare that he didn't eat enough during the day, and they would toss the milk (heartbreaking for a pumping mom). Anyway once he was eating enough during the day, the key to getting him to not wake up at night was to feed him a bottle with about 1.5 ounces of milk, and 3 or 4 ounces of diluted chamomile tea,and back into the crib. If he tossed or fussed, I let him be,and he fell asleep. If he cried, I picked him up for a couple of minutes to soothe him, and put him down, and did that over and over if needed. But, after 2 or 3 nights, he wasn't hungry anymore. I think Maya's comment is really important to heed. It is not normal, natural, or healthy to let your baby cry himself into desperate hysterics when you can soothe him. I also feel the sleep deprivation, because we were like that for over a year. Even after our son started sleeping through the night, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep every night around 2 am, and had to get help with that. I know it's hard to things straight and rationally. Best wishes, and it sounds like you have a lot of good things to try. It might take a few weeks of trying but you'll get the right way for him and yourself.

I know it really is hard to hear your sweet little ones cry, and then to do nothing about it! But if you think about it, they cry because they can't talk. If you had a 3 year old who got out of bed 3 times a night and said they were hungry, you wouldn't get up and feed them, right? So your little one has got to learn sometime that he can't eat all night. You gotta start sometime! And you never know, it may be easier than you think, especially since you say he hardly ever cries. I think us mom's are given a little extra strength for these things. You can do it:-) That's my opinion anyway! Good luck to you in whatever you do!

well... i don't know what to tell you. my daughter was the same way. finally when she was about 10 mos. old we let her cry it out and now she's down to waking about once a night (i'm still breastfeeding and she's 16 mos. old). our pediatrician said that at 6 mos. she should not be waking for feeding (she's a good healthy weight). it's all about what you want to deal with. if he is just in his crib playing, let him be.

Hi C.,
Good for you for doing what feels right for you and your son. We have never let Alyssa cry herself to sleep either and no regrets. She is 17 months old and a great sleeper. She didn't really stop waking for feedings during the night until she was about a year old. Even now - maybe because of growth spurts or teething - she will have a stretch of 3-4 nights that she wakes up during the night, has some milk in a cup, and will go back to sleep (although, sometimes it takes a while). We still rock her to sleep, too. Eventually, when we feel she is ready, we will gradually teach her to fall asleep on her own, but no hurry. Alyssa is also a restless sleeper, so sometimes when she wakes up, it's like she just needs to reposition and get comfortable. When we hear her during the night, we give her a few minutes to see if she falls back asleep on her own. If she's really awake, we get up with her. It may not be as "easy" as the cry it out method, but we've always done what felt right for Alyssa. Just like your son, she's always been a happy baby, so if she's crying, she needs something and we do our best to give her what she needs - even if it's a little comfort and some milk during the night. I think you're doing a great job. I know you're sacraficing your sleep now, but I think your son will get on a good sleep schedule when he's ready. Good luck!!
~J.

C. -- PLEASE read _The No-Cry Sleep Solution_ by Elizabeth Pantley! She is loving and wise and has done a lot of research on families, babies' sleep, etc. I have three kids (11, 7, 3) and the one who is now 3 slept the worst, but with the help of her books and really being structured we have made it! Lots of luck & love to you. -Y.

OUr daughter slept with us until she was 10 months old because we were putting an addition on our house and were all living in a small room for a while. When she got her own room we transitioned her to her crib. She was waking 3 times a night crying to be nursed or coddled. Out of sheer exhaustion, I finally decided to try the cry it out method. The first night she cried 30-45 minutes each time, but when I'd peek in on her she was just fine. I didn't go in, because that just seems to get her more worked up. By the 3rd or 4th night she was sleeping through the night. Now (17 months) she is a great sleeper. If she wakes it's usually for 5 minutes or less, unless she is teething. I feel I am a better mom, being less tired.

I understand your difficulty deciding. We tried the Ferber method (crying it out in increments so the parents can go check on the baby). It worked at 10months then at 11 months she got an ear infection (I'm not saying they are related). With the discomfort I wanted to soothe her and she stopped sleeping through the night. She finally starting sleeping through the night when we weened her at 15 months.
In my opinion she was waking up to feel the comfort of mommy and not soothing herself. Now she is much better sleeping and when she does wake up usually needs to be held for only a minute.
Crying it out or ferber method does need strength and determination for the parents. So do it only when you are ready.

Hi C..

I was the same when my sons were little. (They are now 21 and 16.) My oldest didn't have any problems sleeping and started sleeping through the night when he was 2 months old. It scared me so much the first time! I actually woke him up because I couldn't tell if he was actually sleeping or not breathing. My youngest was another matter. He was probably about the same age as your son is now when I started (with doctor's approval) mixing a little baby cereal in with his formula in his bottle. It helped to fill him up rather than just formula and he was able to sleep longer periods of time. Ask your doctor about it. Maybe it will help your son also. Good luck.

My nine month old still wakes several times a night, very similar to your schedule, for breast feeding. My doctor says that's perfectly normal.

I also don't ascribe to the cry it out method, and baby trainers say what they will, I'll deal with whatever issues arise because I didn't let my baby cry rather than the issues that will arise because I did. Everyone has to do what they feel is best, and for me, attachment parenting is it.

Just wanted to let you know that it's normal for a baby not to sleep through the night. :)

I posted a similar question on here recently, although my son is older (2) and I got a tremendous amount of critical responses. Some were downright mean. I would just say kudos to you for not letting your baby cry it out. There is a lot of evidence and studies out there that indicate it is not a great method. Most importantly follow your gut and do what feels right to you. You are the expert when it comes to your child. I expect you will get some critical responses to your question on here. Don't listen to them. Do what feels right to you and your baby will will be better off for it.

C.,

A couple things I have read and or learned. One, the baby whisperer says start as you mean to go. I have tried to follow that with my two boys, 3 years and the other 9 months. Think how you will feel when he is 2,3 , 4. Two, is that it usually takes ony 3 days to change something at 7 months, but as he gets older it will take longer and longer to change his habits. Three, if you do the cio method, you have to do it and not waver at all. Babies get confused and don't understand if you change what you are doing. So be consistent in whatever method you choose. I have read the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and it has helped so much. It explains sleep and needs, etc. Gosh, 5 am seems early to be waking up. Can you fix that by having him take a late cat nap and waking him if possible and put him down later, say 7:30? Hope this helps. Good luck! Let me know if you have other questions, I would love to help with this. Sleep is so tough. We are having our struggles with the older one right now....
Best,
T.

Dear C.,
I was in your position, my instincts telling me one thing (comfort your baby) and advice and warnings about spoiling, etc coming from others. My son was also a happy baby most of the time.
I really, truly believe with all my heart, that when a baby sounds like it is in distress, IT IS. Do they really learn to comfort themselves or do they resign themselves to not having their needs met? And what does that teach them about life? When a baby's needs are consistently met with love and attention, they learn to trust. You cannot spoil a baby. There is no such thing. He is designed with strong lungs, to summon you, because he needs something. It may be diapers, food, or just that he needs comfort. But to leave him to cry sends a message, one that he may carry with him for the rest of his life.
I refused to go against my instincts, and I am so glad that I did. The unconditional positive regard that we gave him as a baby and throughout his childhood has enabled him to know what love feels like from a young age. The result has been a calm, sweet kid, loved by his friends and his friends' parents. He is centered, easygoing, makes friends easily, and despite all the warnings about teenage meltdown, so far so good. And if he does meltdown, we will hug him, talk to him, and let him know that what he is feeling matters to us, and we will be there to listen and help. This does not mean that we don't have boundaries, rules for behavior, and consequences. He is not a spoiled. The term spoiled is when something is left out, not used, or tended to.
Your instincts to love and care for your baby is exactly what nature intended. So you have my support & best wishes for the most wonderful adventure of your life... being a mother.

Until 1 yr old, my daughter still woke up about 3 times a night to eat. She was tiny and her doctor said to feed her every time that she wanted to eat...so I did. Amazingly enough, at 1yr, when we switched to the bottle, she stopped waking up in the night to eat. Your baby is telling you that he still is hungry, or just needs to know that you are around, and that is OK...they are in a stage of building trust, so assist him in that. It is important to teach them to comfort themselves, and to me that looks like allowing them to cry for a few minutes to figure out if they really need something or not, don't rush to him the minute he cries, give him a few minutes (5) and then fill his needs. My daughter did go through a phase when she started waking up again, so we chose to give her a bottle with warm water instead of milk, she decided that wasnt worth waking up for and moved through that stage quickly. Hope it helps. Just remember, your child really will teach you what you need to know, stay in tune.

my husband was deployed for the first 6mths of my daughter's life and by the time he returned i was at my wits end. she woke up 1-2-3 times a night. i assumed to feed (formula) and she would eat. i had been told to do the cry method. i couldnt do it. it was too painful for me. i just didnt want to let her cry if something was wrong. at 8mths she was still doing this. i went to another doctor and asked what to do. he said that at her age it was not hunger, it was a habit. sleep is a behavior they have to learn to do. he said feed her, change her, and put her to bed. as long as she isnt sick she will be fine. he said it would be like hell for 2 days or so. i went home told my husband to listen through the night but not go in there and i put in earplugs. 2 nights later she has slept through every night except when sick. it was the best thing i ever did. and if she woke she played and went back to sleep. when she transistioned to the twin bed at 14mths to make room for new baby, she did it without problems and i dont have to constantly put her in bed. she just knows it is night night time. i really hope this helps. sorry it is so long. it is hard but if you stick to it, it just may work

Eventually all kids sleep through the night. This is pretty normal--the books and pediatrician's claims that babies sleep through the night at 4 months is ridiculous. My son never slept more than 2 hours in a row until we weaned him at 1 year. And the more I admitted this to other parents, the more I heard similar stories. Your child will figure things out in his own time. I know it's hard, it's exhausting--Good luck!

Wow! You are pretty much saying my exact sitaution as well...my daughter is 7 months old too and she wakes up about every 2 hours! ARGH! I started reading the "No Cry Sleep Solution" book, which gives a lot of good ideas about getting your child to sleep without the "Cry-it-out" method. Also, I have heard that the "Babywhisperer Book" is also a good source. Last night she went to bed at 6:30, wakes up at first every half hour, then she woke up at midnight and didn't really go back to sleep until 2am, then she woke up at 4am, 6am, 7, and 8am! Can you spell EXHAUSTED? I think that Breastfed babies do wake up more often becuase they digest the breastmilk more quickly and it is just way more comforting to them than a bottle. I TOTALLY believe in breastfeeding as THE MOST important thing for you baby...so you can't give that up...but I do let my husband do a lot of the work at night because she would just be on the boo boo all night long. I don't know the answer either to the problem, so I would love to see all of the responses. good luck!

Hi C.,

I haven't read what others have said, but wanted to tell you how I handled crying. I came to realize that sometimes my daughter would cry out, but if I left her for up to 5 minutes, she would go back to sleep. I wouldn't let her cry for a long time, but gave her a little time to settle back down. It worked for her and still does (she is 30 months now). If after a couple of minutes he is still crying, then go to him, but interact as little as possible- no eye contact, don't talk, just quickly take care of the needs (I found it easy to be zombie at these hours!). If he is truly hungry, then try to get more solids in before bed, to help him last. Each child is different, so don't spend a lot of time dwelling on "should" (be sleeping through the night). It is more about finding a routine/schedule that works for you and him. Good Luck!

I don't know if you have tried solids with your son yet. If he is eating some solids, try feeding him a little rice cereal close to bed time. This might help hold him a little longer. I sometimes would mix a little rice cereal in a bottle of expressed breast milk at bedtime (I'm sure this would work in formula too if you are formula feeding).

When my son was that age I had an extra bed in his room and I would sometimes just go and sleep with him in his room. That way I didn't have to "get up" 3 times a night but could just feed and go back to sleep. I'm all for sleep. Whatever gets everyone the most sleep is the way to go in my opinion.

Lastly, trust your gut and go with it. If you don't like the cry it out method, don't do it. Everyone has advice, take what you want and discard the rest. He will sleep through the night eventually, I promise!

Oh, no! I think I erased a long message i just wrote to you, but in case I only just cut myself off, I was about to reccommend a book: THE NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION by Elizabeth Pantley- lots of good suggestions for helping baby sleep longer.

If you want support for your choice NOT to let him cry it out- check out the Dr Sears books- he definitely lets you know you're doing the right thing. And he has a website- askdrsears.com where you can get on a forum and chat with other moms who also believe in NOT letting babies cry it out- I found that to be a really helpful reminder to myself that I wasn't the only sleep deprived mom and yes, I was doing the right thing. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Hi C.,he sounds like a very happy baby who is learning how to regulate internally his sleeping/waking/eating cycles,that is what the brain is figuring out at this age .Make sure he spends most of his wake time crawling on the belly and or creeping on hands and knees if he is already there,no propping of any sort,creeping and crawling are what matures the brain and teaches the brain how to balance all the internal functions.if you want to know more visit my website:canelledemange.com lovingly C.

C., I don't really have a lot of advice, but you little guy is only 7 months old. Unfortunatly lots of babies at that age don't sleep through the night. All children are different and you have to do what you feel is right for you. If that's not the crying method then don't do it. I'm sure that you are thinking when are you ever going to get some sleep... I have two boys 18 months and 4 years and neither slept through the night at that age. Is he just breastfeeding or taking formula and not food yet? Sometimes it helps when they start eating more food. Also if you are just breastfeeding sometimes they may just want the comfort as well as the milk and breastmilk does metabolize faster than formula so it dosen't stick with them as long. It dosen't seem like you are doing anything wrong and your child will NOT turn out to be a whimp if you attend to his needs, and don't let him cry it out. I know lots of parents that have had sucess with this but it did not work for either of my children. Sorry I don't have more advice but just remember it will pass and they grow so fast!!!! Just enjoy your little one:) The main thing that I found was that solid food and having enough calories to make it through the night was a big factor for us. I would also ask the advice of your doctor on your next visit. Good luck and hopefully your will get some sleep soon.

M. V. 37 year old mother of two boys:)

I have a 7m old who now sleeps through the night, usually from 7:30pm to 7am. She does wake occasionally and I will usually change her diaper and give her some water from her sippy cup and she goes back to sleep without crying (a little whining maybe, but no full out crying). I never did "cry it out" with her because I am like you in that I can't really handle hearing her cry for extended periods of time. I did like some others have suggested, which was to comfort her and change her diaper but not feed her. I found that the first time I put her down at 5am without feeding her (only changed her diaper) she went right back to sleep! I had probably been feeding her out of habit long after what she really wanted was a diaper change. Sure, she ate when I offered it, but that wasn't why she was waking up. About 2 weeks after that she stopped waking up at all. Now she only wakes up in the night about 2-3 times a week and always goes back to sleep with a little comforting and some water.

You mentioned that your son rarely cries when he wakes up, he just plays in his crib. One thing I would suggest is don't get up until he does start either crying or whining. I find that my daughter often will wake in the night, roll around a bit while talking to herself, then fall back asleep. I just listen on the monitor and if she starts whining or crying I get up, but if she stays playing quietly then gets quiet I just go back to sleep. She did that this morning, I heard her "talking" to herself so I laid there listening for about 5 minutes, then she got quiet again so I fell asleep. I woke up to her whining about an hour later so I have to assume she also fell back asleep. It is very possible for them to learn to put themselves back to sleep without letting them cry for extended periods of time. I don't think I've ever let my daughter cry for more than 5 minutes and she does fine. Your son sounds like he has a similar temperment so I think you should also be able to do this without extended crying.

Hi C.,

Great book by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It really saved my sanity. It gives you a step by step program for a good night's sleep in children newborn to adolescence. It also gives you the developmental aspect of a child's sleep requirements/habits. So you are better able to understand what you can expect of your child at different ages. I strongly/highly recommend that anyone with children read this book. It is a little technical at the beginning but you can flip through to wherever your little guy's age is. Also breast fed babies tend to get up more than bottle fed babies.

Please read the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It has great ideas/solutions that involve very little crying (if any at all), and ways to improve self-calming/soothing. And just so you know, the average age for sleeping through the night is actually 9 months (and that is an AVERAGE!) Good luck and do what's best for you and your baby!

have you read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" or "the Baby Whisperer? cant remember the authors. They give some good ideas. I dont like letting my kids cry either.I did with my first and gained 15 lbs stress eating every night for 2 weeks! He sleeps through the night, but I still cant get rid of the weight. My daughter, I was up at the first stirring and she was getting up about like your son. Then I realised, she wasnt even getting a chance to TRY to go back to sleep. So, heres what I did, I would wake at first noise, but would force myself to leave her alone (even if she hollered a bit) until she actually started to cry. You know the difference between, "hey, someone, pay attention" and "I really need mommy". She would go back to sleep on her own about 1/3 of the time and then it was 1/2 and so on. She got up at midnight for a long time but I didnt mind it. She started sleeping through the night about 2 months later. Hope this helps. OH, and moving her out of our bed/room helped too, that way she didnt smell the food or hear us.

How much they wake up is really about what you are comfortable with... I have a ten year old girl and three year old boy and neither of them slept through the night before they were 18-months and it just seemed normal to me to wake up 3-4 times a night to tend to them. They are both good sleepers now and found their schedule on their own without crying. Good Luck

What you are raising is a happy child that knows he can trust his mother to no end to keep him safe and happy.

The cry it out method works quite fast for many babies. It works by teaching the baby that you will not be there for them every time they ask, and you will not attend to their every need... they will have to go hungry or be lonely. Eventually, the baby will give up on you, and will learn to soothe themselves. I know that many parent's disagree with me on this, but I think there are more loving ways to teach a baby a skill. Think of it like swimming lessons. Would you throw your baby in and let them struggle until they figured out how to swim, or would you teach them and let them struggle a little, or would you just play until they naturally picked it up on their own? That will tell you a lot about your parenting style and which sleep method will work best for you.

If you do not have a problem with the way things are right now, then there is no need to be in such a hurry to change it. There will be plenty of opportunities for your child to be frustrated, angry, and lonely... he WILL learn coping skills and will not be a wimp.

Most experts agree that by 8 months some babies are able to go all night without a feeding, but many babies still need to eat during the night.

I know how difficult it is. My son was up for feedings sometimes as often as 8 times/night until he was about a year old. He was up for the day between 4-5 am every day. It was probably the hardest time in my life. But I knew my baby needed me and needed comfort and nourishment, so I sucked it up. At around a year old we started night weaning, becauase I knew at that point he didn't need to eat. I still went to him and held him, but didn't nurse him. At this point he started sleeping a little better. By 18 months he was starting to sleep through the night sometimes. Now, at almost 2.5, he sleeps through about half the time.

Please don't withhold food from your little baby...he still needs it during the night.

I am a fellow cannot stand the cry method mom. I think it's ridiculous. All you wind up with is a house full of miserable people. That being said, I have a 19-month-old that did not start sleeping through the night until he was 16-months-old. I was and am exhausted beyond belief, as I am expecting my second in about 4 to 6 weeks.
Everyone told me that the cry it out method was the way to go, except that they were not the ones here in my house listening to my baby scream, and watching my husband fidget and my animals huddle in a corner. I still believe that the best way to handle the waking through the night is to go in and pick the little fella up.
All THAT being said, I do think that they reach an age, probably different for every kid, that they can handle being challenged a bit. Let him fuss for awhile and see what he does. He'll figure it out. But, I still, with mine being 1-1/2, if he starts really crying, go in and pick him up, or lay him down and cover him up and rub his little legs or back. I let him cry a bit if he's disturbed that I won't hold him... and that usually only lasts less than a minute, then he settles down.
I don't think it is a possibility to turn a 7-month-old into a wimp. I really believe that because I did, for so long, pick my son up every time he even peeped (that was even for about a year), that he now knows that he doesn't need to cry (at night) unless he really needs something. He knows that I will come in to him if he really really needs it. He is like your son, if he wakes up and is okay, he'll just play and then put himself back to sleep. He is secure in that. If he really needs something, he will cry... and I mean cry, not fuss a little. Sometimes, he starts wimpering and fussing and all it does is disturb him if I pick him up, because he isn't really actually awake. That's why I wait to go in now.
All that bologna about kids needing to be able to sleep through the night at a certain age is bull. Each kid is different. Yes, it would be nice to have one of those kind that was sleeping peacefully for 10 hours straight at 4 months of age... but it just doesn't happen as much as you would think.
You need to do what you need to do. People who employ the cry it out method and are able to handle it need to do it that way. Everyone has a different reason for why they do what they do. I personally thought I'd go nuts after a few months, because I was back to working full time and was just really exhausted. But, I will tell you, every single time was worth it (now I say that, at the time, wasn't quite so easy). Get a really comfortable chair to sit in in his room when he needs you for extended amounts of time, and just do what you know you need to do. One thing that helped tremendously, though, with my boy was to not sit everytime I went in... I'd stand there and hold him for a bit and then lay him back down... eventually he picked up on the fact that I wasn't going to sit for 20 or 30 minutes everytime I went in.
Anyhow... good for you, mom. Love your boy. Learn to hear what kind of cry is what and let him fuss a bit to put himself back down... but pick that little sweety up when you need to and when HE needs you to.

This and potty training are the two most controversial issues in parenting. You've got to look at all your options and make the best choice for you without regard for what all your friends are doing. Waking up 3 times a night at this age is extremely normal. The technical definition of "sleeping through the night" is 5 hours so if your son makes it from 6 pm to 11 pm or 12 am then he's already sleeping through the night according to text books. Babies and toddlers have different sleep cycles than adults so it's developmentally appropriate for them to wake more often and more fully than adults. Some people swear by the cry-it-out approach and it works for many. It doesn't work for every kid though. My daughters cries would amp up instead of settling down. I had to give up my attempt. Another friend let her son cry and he cried for 4 hours. He was so distraught by the end. I got so desperate with my son that I let him cry in his crib (with me in the room next to him) and went to sleep within 20 minutes, but it didn't work in the middle of the night or at nap times. I stopped putting him to bed in the crib after one night of trying to get him back to sleep in there at midnight. He cried for an hour and a half and even when he started to fall asleep he'd wake himself up with his ragged breathing. Generally I've let my kids sleep in bed with me and my husband. My daughter woke up three times a night until she was about 2 and then she woke up 1-2 times a night by the time she was about 3 she almost always slept the entire night. My son is 17 months and wakes up 3 times a night. Check out a book like "The No-Cry Sleep Solution," by Elizabeth Pantley. There is a great section in there about how to recognize if your child's sleep is a really a problem for you so that you're not trying to fix something that you *think* is a problem if it's not all that disruptive to you or your family. If it is disruptive, she gives good advice on how to start a routine and make good sleep habits slowly so as to minimize crying. Good luck! I know how if feels to be a sleep deprived mom! Trust your gut and you'll always do the right thing.

Personally, I would let him cry a little.

But first, I would get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Mark Weissbluth MD and skip to the chapters on 5-9 month olds. Then once you start getting a handle on your problem, read the whole thing. It's a great resource. We've been following it since we bought our baby home. Now, he's an A+ sleeper, and we've very rarely ever had to resort to crying it out. If we have, it's been just a few minutes. The book was recommended to me by more than one mother who was at the end of her rope on night wakings.

Does your baby use a pacifier or fingers/thumb for self-soothing? Is he able to put himself back to sleep after waking? Night wakings are normal, the key is whether or not the baby can self-soothe back to sleep. Is he actually taking a fair amount at all three of these feedings, or is he doing a couple of ounces and then back to sleep? If it's the later, he is probably doing it for comfort, rather than nutrition.

From what I've read, 6 p.m. is exactly the right bedtime for a 7mo. At this age, they're biologically programmed to have an early bedtime, so I wouldn't try and bump it back to a later hour. You're better off going with what their brains are wired for.

I have a 6-month-old who started sleeping nonstop from 6 p.m. to about 6 a.m. almost a month ago. He has never liked a pacifer. He uses his fingers, which is nice because he can always find them in the dark, which he does, then he puts himself back to sleep.

Over about a two week period he went from two feedings per night, to one, to none. Now that he's proven he can sleep through the night, we've ignored a couple of middle-of-the-night chatter sessions from him, but he's never cried. If he wakes before 6 a.m., we let him chatter to himself in his crib until 6 to avoid earlier and earlier morning wakings. We were cosleeping with him until a month ago. Once we moved him to his crib, he began sleeping through the night about a week later. Now I'm sure we were probably causing his night wakings, and he would have been STTN sooner had we moved him to his own room sooner.

That said, from what I understand, some babies may require a night feeding until around 9mo. But it probably shouldn't be more than once a night at 7mo. Three wakings to eat seems excessive, and that's why I wonder about the self-soothing ability of your infant.

So, yes, I do think it's possible for some 7mo babies to sleep though the night, but others need to eat once. I also think that yours probably isn't hungry all three times. If you're unwilling to let him cry even a little, I don't know how much you can do about it. I have friends who have had to cry out these night wakings, and they've never been as bad as anticipated. Even those who swore they would never CIO, have reached their limit at some point.

Good luck.

get the no-cry sleep solution book. and use it. works wonders. as well, establish a good bedtime routine that is within your control. no going to bed at 6:00 pm. bath, breast (or bottle), book, bed. that's it. every night, same time...at 6:30 to 7:00 is best. good luck

You've gotten lots of wonderful advice. The only thing I might add is to try to gradually get the feedings spaced out farther. Perhaps when you go in to him during the night you could hold him for a little while before feeding him. That way he's still comforted but his body will eventually get used to going longer intervals before getting food and maybe over time you can drop one and so on. And unfortunately, some babies are just hungrier and it might take longer for him to decide he doesn't need the night feedings. Try not to compare to what other people's children did. It's a lot of pressure and your son will tell you what he needs.

C.,

I completely understand where you are at, I have a five month old with the same nighttime schedule! I too continuously get advice to let her cry! I just wont do it. There is so many opionions and information out there it's hard to know what is right for you and your baby! I wont dole out any advice because I'm right there with ya. But I will reccomend a fabulous book called the "No cry sleep solution", it advocates comforting your baby and respoding to his cries right away and guides you through a gentile way of helping baby sleep through the night, the plan takes a bit longer than the "Cry it out method", but again, it takes a more gentile approach. I read it about a month ago when I was feeling like I was going to die from sleep deprivation...and it really gave me hope that there was another way to resolve this issue! I haven't put my little one through the 10 day plan that the book describes (hence why she is still up periodiocally during the night), but I did get a lot of great tips and ideas from reading it, and things have gotten a lot better than they were a month ago, I guess that's all i can ask for.
Another thing I continually hear time and time again is that they will eventually grow out of this phase, this wont last forever! Also, babies are who they are, and from what I hear it can be commom for them to not sleep well through the first year.
Please feel free to contact me if you want to chat further (not that I have a whole lot of great advice), but I do understand what you are going through!

Good Luck! and try that book!

E.

Start diluting the formula with more water until it is just pain water. Do it gradually. There will be a moment when he will realise that he is getting just water and will stop waking up.

First off dont think you are making a wimp and I dont believe you over cuddle a baby before a year old.Babies love and need to suck have you tried a pacifier.Your baby could be plain lonely or cold.I nursed all three of mt babies and all three slept with me until around a year old they did not sleep through the night regularly until around tow years.Contrary to what the pros say babies dont sleep all night usually until a year or so.

It's fine and normal for your baby to be waking up 3 times a night (some wake up even more than that), and it's absolutely wonderful that you don't let him cry! This is not a problem! He will learn to sleep on his own when he is old enough and ready. He will probably need fewer nighttime nursings as he gets older, but let him be the guide. Meeting all his needs now will make him happier and more secure and independent later.

I hope you can make some new friends who are into attachment parenting, also La Leche League might be a good place to meet other new moms and get support. I just searched online for attachment parenting (seattle) and found lots of good resources (there are lots of good books too). My two slept with me till they were 4 years old, nursed (including at night, fewer times per night as they got older) for 2-1/2 and 4-1/2 years, and now are happy secure adults with beautiful happy children of their own, whom they breastfeed, sleep with, carry, etc. My daughter actually woke up every hour for the first year, which was a bit much, but I think it was because we slept on a wavy waterbed, and she woke up every time her father or I rolled over. I was somewhat sleep deprived, but it helped that I knew another mother in a similar situation, so we could commiserate, and it really wasn't that bad. It doesn't sounds like you're sleep deprived, but if you aren't getting enough sleep, I'd recommend sleeping when your baby does also, including naps, and if that's still not enough, let his father or someone take him for a walk while you catch up on your sleep.

Congratulations on following your heart and meeting your baby's needs, in spite of people telling you not to! You're doing great!

I had 4 kids and with each one they had and still have times they wake up once or twice needing something. They had and still only do it once in awhile. But my husband and I believe the best method is to give them a few minutes if they are fussing and see if they settle down before going in and disturbing them more because sometimes they just need to shift around to a more comfy spot. Another good idea is to feed them a bowl of cereal with or without baby food to make sure they are good and full.We found they sleep bettter with a full tummy. Also before bed baths can be great for relaxing them. With ours we would give them a bath and them give them about 20 -30 mins or so to run around and play because initially the bath seemed to give ours a final burst of energy before crash time. But you know I have always wondered how can you do the crying jag without first making sure they don't need anything. Cause if their bottom is dirty and you leave it all night that can leave a nasty painful diaper rash. There are also times they get sick and have a fever or tummy ache, get thirsty and if sick need that extra even more so. Our kids come from a long line of people with sleep apnea and so there was no way we could not check on them. For those who don't know what sleep apnea is: Sleep Apnea is where you stop breathing in your sleep and then restart breathinig a few seconds later. It can be pretty scary stuff. We have let ours fuss and or cry themselves to sleep BUT only when we knew they didn't need something and that they were just tired. We have found that Sometimes kids do get tired enough they can't do anything but cry until they give in to themselves. My husband and I have followed this from birth and ours started sleeping through the night at a couple months old. We also found that as they out grew their beds they would get up more often. We started with a playpen bassinet set up then a crib then twin bed but with twin bed we put a safety board all around every open side so it was similiar to a large crib but lots of room and once they got used to staying in bed we shortened the boards to help them adjust. We did this because we have tall kids and wouldn't have gotten any use or room out of a toddler bed. Our kids will still once in awhile get up for bathroom and when thrirsty etc. Even we get up ourselves once in awhile. And to this day we still check on them regularly even our 8 yr old. I would rather be safe than sorry. Sometimes our babies need us for the darnest things! Good Luck with your baby!!

I don't let my baby cry either. I didn't let my older kids cry when they were babies. I do wait, however wait to see how my 10 month old is crying before I go to him. If it's just a quick fuss then I sit there quietly for a few seconds to see if it just fitful dreaming or if it's going to escalate to a full on wail. If he does end up in a truly needy cry then I pick him up and rock him long enough for him to calm down. Sometimes I give him a bottle with warm water in it. I NEVER rock him long enough to put him to sleep in my arms. They do need to learn how to go to sleep on their own. Most nights, now, he sleeps through the night, but my other two woke up at least once a night until almost a year old. Don't feel bad. It will happen eventually as long as you teach him to put himself to sleep.

Have you tried the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution"? I havent read any other postings, so i am sure this has been mentioned numerous times, but there would be your best bet! FYI, my daughter will be 2 in a couple of weeks and she still wakes up at night (not every night, and usually only once, but sometimes more!) At 7 months, i wouldnt fret quite yet, by 2 it starts getting pretty annoying! From other moms I have talked to, it sounds to me like some kids are just good sleepers almost from the get-go, and the ones who arent tend to wake regardless of what you try and their age. We have tried the crying out method, and overall it did make improvements, though it is grueling and heartbreaking to listen to--it was never the total solution, as i said, she still wakes, so we just go to her when she does because i would rather both of us be happy in the middle of the night than listen to her screaming while I am still awake anyway! Maybe not the best method, but I dont care, and quite honestly, she is so active during the day, i dont really mind holding and cuddling her in my arms while she falls back to sleep. One more thing, if you do decide to let him cry, I was always worried that my daughter was going to hate me in the morning--she was always bright and cheery and she never held a grudge, so dont worry about him holding it against you. If you're lucky, 2-3 nights will make major improvements, and if you need to and if you can, leave the house so you dont have to hear him crying. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, just do what is right for you and your baby and dont worry about what you "should" do! Take care!

I didn't read too many responses but I will say that in my opinion, babies that wake up to eat and who cannot sleep through the night do this because it has become a habit! My Dr told me when my son was eight weeks old that if he is getting enough to eat in the day time then he should be able to sleep through the night and that babies above the age of 12 weeks are only waking up because they have become used to doing so. I totally believe that.

My son slept through the night consistantly from 12 weeks on and I personally know quite a few babies who slept through the night even earlier. So, with that being said it is completely possible for babies to sleep all night.

I never let my baby cry it out or anything like that. However he was much younger than yours is. It only took me about five days to get him to sleep through the night and I did that by going in when he woke up and comforting him and/or rocking him back to sleep but I would refuse to feed him. He was only waking up once or twice at the most at the time. But after a few days he didn't wake up at all and had learned how to comfort himself back to sleep on his own very quickly.

Now with an older baby Im not sure how to get that to happen but I would definately cut him off from feeding at night, and try soothing him back to sleep. I believe babies need to learn how to comfort themselves back to sleep.

Hi C.,

I was in your same situation not too long ago. My son is now 14 months old and is sleeping through the night-so there is hope! We co-slept with my son until he was about 6 months old when he started sleeping in his own crib. When he was in bed with us it was so easy to feed him if he woke up (he is breastfed). When he moved to his crib he still wanted to eat 2 or 3 times a night. I was the same as you-I couldn't let him cry when I knew that he was hungry and used to eating. Unfortunately, I don't really have much advice except for to hang in there! This will pass and your son will not be waking up forever. One thing that my husband and I did that seemed to help a litle was we fed our son quite a bit of oatmeal before bed-he loves it and it seemed to fill him more than baby food. He would skip his midnight feeding when we did that and would only get up twice. Hope this helps!

ALL of us mothers hate the crying method but it really does help them to find a way to comfort themselves. I will usually let mine cry for about 15-20 min. and by then they have already fallen asleep or are really close, my nefew takes about five minutes now. How many naps a day is your he taking? Try keeping him up a little later for night time. Make bedtime for around 7-7:30 rather than 6. The more tired he is, the shorter time he will cry and he will sleep longer. A full tummy also helps to reduce the night time feeding and/ or wakings.

I have an 8-month old who wakes 2 to 3 times a night. He sleeps with us after the first waking, so I can sleep while he nurses. I keep in touch with several people who have babies around 6 to 10 months and I don't know a single baby who sleeps through the night. And, "Sleeping through the night" essentially what your baby is doing from 6 to 12, since he is sleeping 6 hours at a stretch. That's actually pretty good. I'm sorry that I don't have advice. I just want you to know that your baby is normal and you're obviously caring for her well.

As for getting him to learn to comfort himself: there is plenty of time to teach him that. At this age, he needs your help with sleep just like he needs your help with all developmental challenges.

C.,

My boys (twins) were over a year old when I had to use the cry method to stop them getting up for a bottle. Also, they were in our living room since we did not have a room for them at the time. After we moved, we did away with bottles and night feedings.

The first night or two are the worst. You feel it more than they do, I promise. My boys do not show signs of distress or anxiety at all. They sleep well now, and are happy children. The doctor told me that they are called "trained feeders". Since they knew I would feed them they never bothered to sooth themselves back to sleep...I was trained to feed and cuddle them when they did not really need it. I had to retrain myself to stop the behavior.

When they wake now we go into the room to make sure they are okay, kiss them, say goodnight and cover them with their blankets. Sometimes there will be some fussing, but mostly they sleep through the night (when they are teething or ill it is more likely they will wake at night again).

Good luck.

T.

C.,
Your current schedule for a 7 month old is really normal. You should not stress out over making him sleep through tht night at this point, as that will make it worse. I didn't push my kids either way and the first one slept through the night at 13 months (I know, forever!!). The second at about 11 months. But every kid is different. I had it kind of rough. Mine were always the last ones of our group to sleep through the night. The fact that he is quiet when he wakes shows he is learning security and will probably learn to put himself back to sleep in the next little while. They do have to learn that one way or another. It's easy for some and hard for others.

But I really wanted to address the "raising a wimp" theory. I know everyone wants to believe that their child will be sleeping, eating, playing and doing everything the way you expected. But that is not what parenthood is about. It's about listening to your heart and giving your child what you think he needs. Not what some Dr. who wrote a book and had his 3 kids sleeping through at 3 months has to say. That's not real life.

Follow your heart and believe that he really needs you to check in with him and let him know that he is ok about every 3 hours while he sleeps right now. But it won't be forever. When you greet him with anxiety or worse yet, ignore him, you are teaching him that he is unimportant, and THAT is what will make him insecure and begin down the road to being a "wimp". I believe that the more comfort you give him now, the easier your toddler and preschool years may be. Some people have likened it to a bank account. The more you put in early, the easier it is to be OK later.

So if it's hard for you to let him cry, that's totally normal and what you should be doing is going to him for comfort (for both of you). Don't let anyone tell you that you should ignore your child if your heart tells you to go to him.

Sorry this is so long. And remember it's just MY opinion. I have a 6 year old and a 2 1/2 year old and have learned a lot from them. Best of luck!
-E.

C.,

You already have a bunch of suggestions - but here goes.. my sonis also 7 months and wakes up at least 2 times. We put him down at a7:30 -8:00 and by about 6-7am he is up.. after having woken up twice and fed each time. So you are not alone.. this is not unusual at all.. there are tons of people out there whose babies dont sleep at this age.

Anyway,I am like you and do NOT want to use the CIO. Have you heard of the 'No cry sleep solution' - book by Elizabeth Pantley. Also another one called Baby Whisperer .. by another author. I started using the no cry .. but had to stop since he got sick, but plan to start again.

I know what you are going through. Maybe try the no cry method and see how it works...

Good luck!

I'm throwing in with the camp that agrees that
a. babies need to communicate their needs and that by letting them cry tells them it's not worth bothering to try to communicate.
b. sleeping through the night means 5-6 hours for a baby.
c. babies don't want to have a disrupted sleep either - they really do need something.
d. reverse cycling (feeding at night) is frequent around this age as the world is so interesting in the day it can be hard for little one to remember to eat. He has to get calories sometime.
e. sleeping through 12 hours is unusual for anyone, especially a small baby.
f. if the current sleep solution is not working for mom, it's not working for anyone.

I've got a 6.5 mo old baby girl and she was sleeping fairly well until two teeth and two ear infections. We're just now getting back to the point of only two to three wakings per night. It doesn't happen over night but with loving persistence she's getting back to a pattern that works for both her and me, without any crying or anxiety. You know what is best for your child and you know what you need. I encourage you to grab a big mug of coffee and do a little reading on some strategies to help out.

I recommend the Dr. Sears Sleep Book and the No Cry Sleep Solution. They give valuable tools for breast fed/bottle fed/co-sleep/crib sleeping babies.

Good luck!
A.

I never let either of my children cry it out and they are both sleeping fine now. You have a BABY not a child and they need their mothers and may need to eat. Babies do not live on an adult schedule and the only reason people say they are supposed to sleep by that age is because it's easier on the adults. There's a great book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by a doctor and mother of many (5?) who has a system to help them SLOWLY learn to soothe themselves without trauma. Letting children cry it out when they need you just teaches them that they can't count on you when they need you. Good luck, I know it's hard! When I did the sleep log in the book with my daughter (my difficult sleeper) at 14 months in a 10 1/2 hour period she was up 9 times!! Hang in there, three times a night and then back to sleep is not bad at all for 7 months.

I am sure that there alot of parents out there that will tell you that the cry it out method is the best way. We had several of our friends and famil tell us that was the only way to get them to sleep through the night. Well our daughter is 15 months and sleeps through the night about 75% of the time. BUT she did not start this until she was well over a year old. Babies are smart if you listen to them they will give you the clues when they are ready for the next step. The attention you give your baby now will pay off ten fold down the line. Good luck.

Hi, I seem to be facing the same problem as you. My almost 7mo old feeds two-three times as well. He goes to bed around 9, eats at 12 30, 4 or 5am and is up by 6am. It seems as though he can't go more than 3-4 hrs without nursing. I definitely feel they should be sleepn through the nite now they are on solids. If I am really exhausted I do let him cry it out or turn down the monitor to not hear him. I know he isn't starving and just likes to be comforted in the night. So it is hit or miss, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I think when he is ready he will stop the night time feedings and sleep til morning. I worry that he may wake my two year old with his banchee cry, it is ear piercing:(.

The best advice I cna give is to wait it out. Eventually they will sleep through the night, my two year old did at 6mos:). Good luck, hope it all works out soon.

Take care,
K.

I fed my daughter baby cereal in a bottle and she slept so much better, good luck!

C., help....
I have the same dilema! I don't like my baby to cry either, so we are up 3 to 4 times a night feeding... What to do? What kind of advice have you gotten?
R.

I know it is not what you want to hear, but it is good for your child to learn to comfort himself. The "crying method" is how you do that. Since he is a little older, it may take him longer to learn. What worked for me was the 5 minute rule. If my boys cried for longer then 5 minutes (I actually timed them), then I would go it to help comfort them, but no feeding! I would try to not even remove them from the crib unless I had to. It worked great and my boys where both sleeping through the night before they hit 2 months old.

i use to have the problem where if i let her sleep 7-9 pm then shed be awake from 9-11 when i needed to sleep.

i dont like to let my daughter cry either but starting when she was about 4 or so mos old id keep her up from 5-9pm and now she sleeps atleast 7 hrs and only wakes once a night.

its hard at 1st bc they will cry but it only took a week and then ahe got use to the idea. i no you hate to hear him cry and so did i but we both get to sleep so it was worth it

I know it's really hard but I would recommend the Ferber Methodt. I was also anxious about letting my son cry but finally, out of desperation, I went through with it. I was (VERY) pleasantly surprised. It took only two days for our situation to improve hugely. It wasn't as bad as I expected eithert. This aproach let's you go in and checkr/comfort often. I went in way more often than recommended and it still worked!

YES for no crying. Some quick suggestions: Yes, let him play in his crib if he's enjoying himself. He may learn that since you don't come in, and life is OK, he'll just go back to sleep. Also, if you can keep him up till 7 pm, have a routine going-to-bed routine which includes a snack of protein (a little ground baby meat) with rice or oatmeal cereal (no sugar, and I generally avoided wheat as long as possible with my little one), he may sleep better. Some babies just get up with the sun and that's that, so five o'clock may reality during the summer. At about 7 months, my baby required the snack at midnight, then slept soundly till about 7 am. Good luck, Grandma K.

C.,

Each child is different. I can say I DO know how you feel. My first child (now 6) did not sleep through the night until she was nearly 4! When she was 3 years old I had my second child. Although he had an easier temperment, I was so tired that I did let him cry at times. Guess what? It really worked for me. I know you don't want to hear that and I do know how heart renching it is to go through it. I have read lots on the subject. There is a time they need for you to be there for them and there is a time they need to learn to sooth themselves back to sleep. You could try (if you haven't already) playing lullibies lowly or a white noise machine. If you KNOW your baby is fed, changed and not hurting, he will be OKAY!!

I used to go to my daughter's desperate cries. I would try to hold out. She was early at everything - including talking. It is even worse when she started crying in a terrified voice, "Mommy, I NEED you!" I started giving her stickers on a chart and then a toy after 5 nights in a row of sleeping through the night. That was a lot of effort!

It was different, of course, with baby #2. I let my son cry for about a week. Each night the crying was less and weaker until eventually he slept through. He just turned 3 and he is a wonderful sleeper. He will actually lay down on his own when he is tired.

I recommend making sure your child has his favorite blanket and animal. I have read a theory that helped a bit with my daughter. You could try laying on the floor close to the crib and back away until you are out the door gradually, night by night....that helped us a bit, but it does take a lot of effort, since you can not go to them - no matter what. The idea here is that they know you are there for them, but you will not come to them when they are crying. He is NOT too young to learn this.

If you decide to go for the crying, I recommend taking your monitor into the garage and taking your phone in there and talking to a girl friend. That helped me too. I guarantee you that he WILL fall asleep eventually - and you have just taught him he can do it without you.

I can promise you a million times over, that first week of hell with crying will pay off ten fold the next 5 years!

Good luck to you!

You have had a lot of requests so I am sorry if this is a repeat.

Strategies I have been given are to keep your baby awake as much as possible during the day and to frequent feedings during the day.

Obviously he will still need a nap, but try to keep him active when he is not asleep. My 8 mo. old takes one 3-4 hour nap or two 2 hour naps and while she isn't napping she is rolling on the floor, jumping in her bouncer, or doing something.

My girl is also still purely on formula, we have tried solids and she didn't like rice cereal so we kept her on formula, but now that she is 8 mo. we are going to try baby food. Anyway, she drinks 8 oz. every three hours during the day, or at least 5 times a day.

This works for her and she sleeps from around 10pm to 8am. However, there are other factors that affect sleep such as teething. My daughter has a pacifier that she can now put in her mouth herself and this helps her sooth herself back to sleep. But, I will say that she seems to be a better sleeper than my son. My first struggled in the same way your son is, however, I knew he wasn't hungry so my husband and I would just give him his pacifier and rub his back until he fell back to sleep, we really tried to avoid him having to be rocked back to sleep. Also, both of my kids like to sleep with a burp cloth or blanket next to their face, they like to hold it next to their face and snuggle it. I don't know if this makes them feel like they were being held, you know because when you hold a baby their face snuggles next to your chest, that is what we figured.

At any rate I hope that these suggestions help and that you get to start sleeping through the night. Congratulations on your new little one!

I'd have to agree with your friends. I'm not saying that it was hard, but when they wake up go in there, don't pick them up. Sing a song, rub there leg. calm them down without picking them up. Otherwise, they know that when they make a peep, you will pick them up. They need to learn how to calm themselves. If your worried about the hunger, just feed them before bedtime. This is the only way i know of. Ask your kids doctor too. I always went in to check there diper, but left them in bed to change them. sometimes i would just sit in there room with soft music playing or singing them a song so that they knew mommy was there. then i would take longer and longer to go in there. I have to admit though it was really hard on me.

There is a book called the No Cry Solution. It was written by a Mom of 4 who didn't like the cry it out method or the deal with it method. It teaches you to find what works for your family. It is also strongly recommended by Dr Sears.

No I don't think you will be raising a wimp by tending to him when he is asking for it. As for dealing with the crying I have twins I can't (for my own sanity) meet their every need. There are times I let them cry only because I know I can't do anything to make them happy, i.e. putting them in their car seat when we are going someplace. Walking out of the room to go potty and leaving their line of sight. I deal with it know ing that it's not soemthing I can do right then and there to make them happy. Otherwise i do try to keep them happy. Sorry that rambled.

Hang in there, I've heard it gets easier. Not sure on that since these are my first but there will be a time where they will cry and they won't come to you. So "enjoy" the crying while you can do something for him.

First, congrats on having a healthy sleep schedule with your son! He sounds like he's right on schedule. It's completely normal for him to wake up a few times a night to eat so please don't think you're doing anything "wrong." The book that REALLY helped us with the different ages/stages of sleep was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" (http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp.... Dr. Weissbluth supports whatever method works for you (crying or no crying). Skip all the data (we read it all, and wasted time getting to the heart of the book). Once you follow each section for the age of your child, it all falls into place. :-D

Our 2 1/2 yo. had horrible colic and I had to sleep in the La-Z-Boy each night while I held her for the first 4 months of her life. At first she would only sleep if she was held, then she would nap in the swing, and finally part of the night in a bassinet and part in bed with us. But by 8 months she was finally spending the entire night in her own crib, and was sleeping through the night by 9 1/2 months (when she self-weaned - that was a shocker and a bummer).

This weekend she got her "big girl" full-sized bed and has taken right to it. She has been sick, so she has been crying some at night (which is normal when she's sick). But we comfort her and she goes right back to sleep. I honestly believe all the work we did, putting in place a good sleep schedule/routine that was appropriate for her age and worked for our family is what has made her such a great sleeper. She has never been one to just doze off if sleepy, so friends who babysit are always amazed "easy" she is to babysit and how well she does at bedtime. I really think that book helped us get to that point. I know you're tired now, but it gets easier and they do sleep more. And eventually they even go to sleep on their own in their big boy/girl bed. :-)

HI C.,
My babies did not sleep through the night until I helped them to do so. I finally needed to return to getting my sleep with my son when he was about 10 months. I did not let cry it out either. What helped me ween him through the night was when he would get up because he wanted to nurse, I would hold him and rock him. He learned pretty quick that he was not getting any of mommy's milk and did not bother getting up in the middle of the night. I know some people think that this will lead to other problems, but I just tried it and it worked for us. He sleeps wonderfully through the night and has since about 11 months. Good luck. IT is so hard to be sleep deprived....

You did not say whether your child is nursing or not. But so you know "sleeping through the night" for a nursing child is anything 4 hours or more @ a stretch. Especially for boys since they grow faster and need more food.

Maybe you both would sleep better if he were in bed with you?

You may want to read the book "night time parenting." It has lots of good information in it that could help.

No worries. I have a daughter who slept through the night since birth (unless she was sick)and a son who woke up all the time 2-5 times a night. If they are still breast feed, then that would be another reason that they get up, cause breast milk isn't as filling.

Yes, I don't agree with the crying method either although a lot of my friends say it works. When babies cry, that means they need something because they can't talk to tell you.

If they wake up and just lay there and play, don't come up and see what he or she wants, because then they will think that you are there to play with them in the middle of the night...........then you will be sorry. You don't want them to get used to that. In conclusion, if they aren't crying, let them be. I hope this helps.

My son woke up to nurse in the middle of the night until he was 2. I really felt that he needed his night feedings until at least 18 months old. :)

i haven't read everything yet, so forgive me if i repeat.

one suggestion - set a bed time, like 8 pm. Put him down for the night at that time every night. If he takes a nap at 5, wake him up in an hour or so, and then put him to bed at 8. This might help him sleep in in the morning. Your mileage may vary - some kids are just off a bit on their circadian clocks.

another suggestion - you can let him be without letting him wail. If you are pretty sure he is not hungry (say, he ate at midnight, and its 3, and he usually goes for 4 hours without eating), let him fuss and see if he can calm himself down. Fussing is different from crying, and i'm sure you can tell the difference. But you may have to attune yourself to when he is making noise but not needing immediate attention.

If the fussing starts to be too much send your husband in to comfort him. Let your husband get him back to sleep with out feeding him. Miraculously, sometimes when you do this the baby realizes that they are not getting fed at that time and in future nights they sleep through it.

Perhaps if you're not ready for that you could try letting him play by himself when he wakes up and is not fussing - like don't go to him immediately in the morning. Or don't pick him up immediately when he makes a noise during the day. With the idea of letting him get used to being alright as an independent little guy.

In the end though, the truth of the matter is that you either have to be okay with going in to feed him three times a night (its up to you - if it works for you, don't worry that it doesn't work for everyone), or you have to do something you don't like by denying him his first whim. Its tough, but, its what discipline is about. Eventually you have to play the bad guy because what your little one is doing in unacceptable.

hey there...your baby is only 7 months old! there is no way he will sleep throught the night. and when people tell you their children sleep through the night, they are not being truthful. babies don't sleep through the night. it's proven. especially in nursing babies. babies in cribs down the hall aren't heard, or don't make noise to wake parents. when a baby is nursed and in bed with you, of course you are giong to wake up more because you sense or hear them. and they will wake up too because they sense you and your milk. i have a 3 yr old, and she sleeps through the night, mostly. she'll usually wake once, find where i am, place her hand someplace on my body(be it face, shoulder or breast) and fall back to sleep. when she was younger and i was struggling with my own tiredness, we got a doll that had lavender inside. i swear it helped. she was waking alot in the night, not even nursing would get her back down. i found myself walking or rocking her in the middle of the night. i was so tired. i read somewhere that lavender helps soothe baby and calm them. the herb worked for us. you can easily make one too. just sew up a little pillow or baby and fill it with organic lavender. it's worth a try. also, i don't agree with the crying it out method. i feel it makes baby less independent and more fearful and lonely. if it doens't bother you to wake during the night, then your situation is fine. he will learn to comfort himself when he is older. we are their mothers. comforting them is our job. it's what we are supposed to do. too many people is this culture think babies are like adults and should take care of themselves and their emotions. it sounds like your baby is a happy one. i wouldn't worry. if he doesn't know how to comfort himself when he in 10 yrs old, then there could be an issue. but 7 month old happy babies are a wonder. everyone parents in different ways. we all do what works for our family. sometimes that is against what your family and friends say. but be strong. be confident in your choices as mama. this too will pass and soon your baby will be walking and talking back to you and will be comforting himself. much luck!sb

I didn't want to do the cry it out method either, but I was also getting tired of getting up several times a night with my twins. They're now 16 months old, and were about 7 months old when I decided to draw the line. What I did was, when they woke up, I didn't feed them, I just held them and soothed them that way. The first night was hell, the second night was a bit better, and better etc.. They cried, but not alone so I didn't feel so bad. It took less than a week. That's what worked for me, and they're great sleepers now.

You do NOT need to let your little one cry alone to get him to sleep through the night, but you may need to be with him while he crys during the transition away from feeding. he's thinking 'hey, this is how it has always been! what's going on?!" we used the methods in the baby whisperer by tracy hogg with a bit of our own modifications and our son was sleeping uninterrupted by 7 months when he became well established on solids. the best i can do is suggest that book only because night waking can be the end result of so many issues and the author really helps you understand WHY your baby is waking so you can address the cause. it is very individual for each baby! i also just want to say i support your decision not to let your baby cry it out. seems like a sure fire way to break trust if you ask me!

The cry-it-out method is actually a form of hysteria that does not work, although you will hear mothers swear their child never slept better. Five minutes of crying is the maximum unless you are losing it and it's better to keep counting to 10 or whatever.
There is no rule that says a 7-mo. old infant should be sleeping through the night.
You are right to not want your precious baby to cry it out. This time will pass. I feel for you. You're never alone.
Follow your instinct. It's right.

I hear you!! My breastfed daughter is 10 months and we're dealing with the same general issue. One thing that was preventing my daughter from sleeping through the night is that she wasn't getting enough calories during the day. We weren't feeding her enough solids and my milk quality wasn't great. My milk is better and we're feeding her more and it's much better now. She used to wake 10-12 times overnight, now she's 1-3. Her doctor had suggested all this too us after she lost a bit of weight when she should have gained. Anyway, now that the calorie issue is better, she's still waking a little. We moved her crib back into our room and that's where she sleeps. We're in the process of moving the crib into her room over the next month, but want her to sleep through the night for 1 week before we move it another 8 feet towards where it belongs in her room. We don't let her cry it out and if she's still consistently waking when she's one, we might consider it, but I agree with you that I REALLY don't want to do that! It's not spoiling the child, it's loving them. "The No Cry Sleep Solution" might be a good book for you to read.

I too had a son who never slept through the night as he was ADHD. He would wake and play in his crib several times a night. I did not believe in the let cry either and he grew up to get MVP in several sports and is not a wimp so put that out of your mind. He was late in sleeping but did eventually start sleeping through most of the night. We kept him up as late as we could and still have some us time. He was and still is such a loving and caring child. Do not panic as this too will pass. You said that he wakes up and plays in crib. This shows that he is secure. Take your time when you go to get him. Go and use the restroom. Every baby is different so there is no set rule. Follow your heart and head. My first one as a dream and slept constantly, My second was a little more demanding and my third was ADHD and was a million times more demanding but they were all wonderful babies.

A suggestion if you are not getting enough sleep is to have hubby get up once in awhile. He may already and bless him if he does.

You sound like a wonderful Mom and you will be fine.