Help!!! My Child Hates My Boyfriend and I Love Him to Death.

I know this is tough to hear but if your daughter is having a hard time with him, you have to remember SHE comes first, period. She's 22 months and cannot separate her feelings of fear, sadness, anger, etc. so you can't expect her to understand that Mommy likes this person even if you don't. The reality is that she's #1 and if she doesn't accept the boyfriend then it may not be the time to date. Being a single mom going to school and I'm assuming working too leaves little time for her as is so adding someone new only takes away what precious time you have. Trust her on this one, kid's are a better judge than you'd think :)

Listen to your daughter.

I can tell you from experience that you will potentially be corroding any future relationship with your daughter. Not just when she's little, when she's in her 30's still...

How long have you been dating him? Maybe she just needs time to get used to him. I don't have much experience in this field but perhaps she just doesn't want to share you. It may be better not to try to force the two of them together so divide your time between the 2 of them if that's possible. Spend your day and early evenings with your daughter and your evenings(when she's alseep) with your boyfriend. While she's visiting with grandpa or her Dad are also times you can spend with your boyfriend.
We have a friend who is a single Dad to a 3 yr old boy and he does not take girls around him. He will only introduce a girl if he's been dating her for at least 8 months and that hasn't happened yet.
Anyway, its probably not a good idea to try to force the two of them together until she gets used to him and accepts him. Let her see him when he picks you up or for brief periods at a time rather than doing actual activities together. If he's as nice as you say, I'm sure he'll grow on her eventually. Just remind him that girls like to play hard to get. :) Hopefully,he's patient.
And after time,if things don't improve, well then maybe she's trying to tell you something. I feel that children are like animals in the sense that they can detect the good people from the bad.
Good luck! Dating can be a real drag sometimes!!

I agree with the other moms that your daughter comes first. If he's really that great a man, he'll be patient and eventually she'll come around. It's understandable that she feels threatened by him at this age, since she's used to having you to herself. I say take it slow with this guy & this will be a good test of his character. Hope it all works out for you guys :)

I pray, pray, pray you put your child first, and don't leave her alone w/ him as much as you think you can trust him. Your love for a boyfriend should NEVER take presidence over your child. Please take a step back and think, pray, and pray some more. I understand children act out for different reasons and towards different people, BUT you leaving your little girl alone w/ your boyfriend doesn't set well w/ me at all. And the fact that she acts the same way towards your Step-grandfather and uncle??? Please don't leave her alone w/ any of these men again; don't take that lightly!

I agree with Amber and many of the others. Your daughter is your priority, and if your boyfriend does not understand, you have a prescription for disaster if you continue on. You know, it never hurts to seek solid counseling from a qualified counselor. Do not let cost be a factor. Many will do for free. Trust your motherly instincts, and alway keep up your guard when it concerns her.

I have to agree with Debbie. SHe is 100% correct. Your daughter comes first.

SHe will become very resentful and rebel as much as possible.

Good Luck

I went thru the same thing that you are going thru right now. I got involved with a guy that my daughter could not stand.She was 2 at the time.It's very very stressful that there's 2 people in your life wanting the same amount of attention; and it does put a strain on the relationship.What I did was focus more on my daughter than the b/f.I would never kiss him in front of her or show any signs of affection with him in front of her-that was just to show her that she's my number one with or without him being there. After she realized that I wasn't replacing her, she got along great with the b/f. Thank goodness the b/f was really understanding at the time. I hope this will help and good luck..