Help! My 3 Yr Old Daughter Started Refusing to Go to Public Restrooms!

What "school" does a 3 yr old go to?! Just curious. Perhaps she's too young to go to this "school". She sounds pretty stressed out. Socialization is very important, sure. Just look at what it's done for Paris Hilton! Remember: Children learn social skills from observing and emulating ADULT behavior. From what I've seen, kids in daycares/"preschools" pick up awful habits from the other kids, not to mention the stress from being neglected by mommy.

We have the same problem with our 3yr old son, it started when his sister took him to a public restroom that automaticly flushes, and the flush was so forceful, load and happen before he was finished that it tramatized him. Now when only go to manual toilets and explain to him that nothing is going to happen to him.

Maybe she is embarassed if someone needs to help her. The other idea is the toilet seats on public toilets are HUGE for such tiny butts....and she feel like she will fall in. When your out and about...buy a travel potty for the car. They have a really nice compact one by Cool Gear that my grand-daughter loves to help mommy carry to the car. They're only $25. Just pop the name in Google search to find out where you can find one.

Hi J..

I have a 4 year old girl who was the same way around the same age. She didn't like the public potties because the flush was so loud at some of them it scared her. After we started flushing for her after she was done, she was better. Then, she started refusing to go anywhere but home. Soon, she developed a UTI and when I took her to the doctor to be seen, she was told by her Pediatrician what can happen to little girls and big girls if they hold it too long. This was all she had to hear to go when needed. I was worried also, so I know how you feel. Sometimes hearing it from "Authority" other than mom and dad helps. I've had 3 girls and one boy, so I hope some of my experience can help. good luck.

I don't blame her, I dislike them intensely also!
You have lots of good suggestions and I can only encourage you. The spare items and own potty seat, not flushing herself etc are all excellent suggestions.
I hope they help!
If not you might have to insist - so that it's more unpleasent for her to 'not go' than it is to go?

At our school we had set toilet times before and after snacks and lunch especially - to help those who didn't go on their own, and to teach / support in that area.

Dear J.,
My youngest daughter had problems with this well until 8-9 years of age. One thing that did help was to give her a cute purse with some of the things in it that she was used to me bringing into a public restroom: seat covers, tissue packets, room spray, hand sanitizer, etc. She still would not use a public bathroom to defecate so I was always certain to have a clean pair of panties and some baby wipes in a baggy as well. The good news is she will grow out of this...make sure you talk with her teachers about her fears and your desire to see that they accomodate her. One thing I made sure of is that teachers understood she was not "playing around" in the bathroom but that she had comfort issues. Hope this helps!