Potty Training in Public Bathrooms

Hi A.,

My daughter went through the same thing. Have you ever used the bathroom at Best Buy in Bellingham? OMG! Loudest toilet ever! It even startles me when I use it! My little one was very adamant about using the toilet and never looked back once she started using it, we just stopped flushing public toilets. The portable toilets and toilet seats are also a great idea, and I always meant to get one, but never got around to it. She eventually just outgrew her fear of the loud flushing and we just dont flush at Best Buy lol. She does tend to over-pea the seat because they have that gap in them on public toilets, so she sits sideways on the seat to prevent wetting on her pants.

When my son was this age I found a little seat that fits right over a toilet seat that is just the right size for them. But he eventually outgrew it so don't worry about that. Good luck!

T.

Take a potty chir with you! Keep it in your trunk and buy some of those little sealup bags. I don't let my lil ones use public restrooms while they are so small. Its too hard for them to use them without getting icky. I just think public restrooms are SO gross! Hope this helps! Lots of people do this so you wont be the only one with a potty in your trunk :) lol

~Jenn~

Hi A.,

My daughter potty trained very early and was happy with the big toilets at first - I could put her on any big toilet, no problem.

Then one day she said she was afraid she was going "be all gone" if she used the big potty. I didn't want her to go back to diapers - actually, she refused to go in a diaper or pull up, so that wasn't even an option.

So, I purchased a $20 travel potty - google travel potty and you'll get some good options. It was the best purchase I made. For the 6 weeks she was afraid of the big potty, I took it everywhere. Folded up, it was light and didn't look like a potty. Most people thought it was a child's computer!!

All of a sudden, she decided to use the big potty again and that was that. Good luck! M.

My 2 daughters were frightened by the flushing sound, too, so we made a game of covering our ears every time we heard someone flushing. It turned a scary experience into something fun and they quickly forgot that they were ever scared.
Good luck!

Hi,

My daughter is 3 and she still doesn't like using the big toilet. We have a potty that we take with us in our van which works out great but we also used to take a removal potty seat with us to rest rooms when the potty wasn't avail. Now I tend to just carry some stick on toilet seat covers with characters on them and tell her that's her potty seat. It works for her. We also hold her so she doesn't fall in on the big potties by squatting and holding her in a hug almost.
Here's seat covers that we use.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0009QYSO4
(much better than trying to deal with the ones in rest ones)

At home she still does not like to do anything more than pee on our big toilet seat so we finally broke down and bought one of these. We have upstairs and downstairs bathrooms but only bought one for downstairs. Upstairs she uses the potty seat on our big toilet but this thing is wonderful!!! It's called a family seat (this one is a potty pal)

http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Pal-Elongated-Toilet-Seat/dp/...

Good luck. it's hard to get them unafraid of things.

D.

toilet flushing is definitely scary for little kids in public bathrooms...my so refuses to go to the bathroom on airplanes, because they are so loud! They make potty seats that use zip loc bags to catch the waste, they are very portable - you could keep one in your car...although this would be a hastle depending on where you are on an outing. They also make a collapsable, fold up toilet seat cover if she will use the public potty - it covers the big seat and makes it a little smaller for kids (and I guess more sanitary) - this is what we have always used at home for a potty seat...no mess to take care of!

I'm sorry to hear she got traumatized! My son has some difficulty with sensory type things and the hand dryers terrify him so I understand.

Have you considered a travel seat? You can use it at home to help her use the big potty (we are facing the same ordeal with our daughter - great on her potty but scared out of her mind of the big one). It has the added benefit of being sanitary. Here's a set: http://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Training-Package-Cushie-Trav...

And you are right about the diapers. We had to totally take away diapers in order to make any prgress with our kiddos. We told them no more diapers and distinguish the pull-ups as being for only night-night or going out. Even this, though, I am afraid isn't good enough. Somebody suggested to me to get the plastic cloth diaper covers. I have found training packs online in larger sizes - so the underwear are still worn, but you don't have to feel so stressed over her making a mess if she has an accident.

Pack a potty bag too - extra everything (even shirts - these are toddlers after all). Also consider getting a seat cover to go under her carseat in the car. I am so right there with you right now (potty training three), and I have had to acknowledge that there will be messes but that I can at least minimize them.

As for the flushing in the bathroom maybe put a little mp3 player on her with some favorite music. Keep the volume low enough so she can hear you, but the music may mask the flushing noise.

I hope you find a solution - let us know how it goes!

A.,
First off congrats on potty training! It's a great feeling to be out of diapers! :)
Second, my daughter didn't like the "big" potties either, and regularly travels across the state to see Grandpa and Grandma. So we did a couple of things. First I bought a potty chair, and whenever we traveled, the potty chair came with us. If she had to go, we'd pull into a rest area, or gas station whatever is near at the time and she'd go in her potty chair, either in the back seat of the car, or if she'd let me, I'd take her inside to the bathroom. Next I bought one of those seats that sit ontop of the toilet. It looks like a toilet seat, but has a smaller hole in it so she has no fear of falling into the toilet. Plus it is nice for me because I know that it is clean and she is sitting on it and not the toilet. Hovering for a 3 year old is a bit hard. It's worked out great for us. HTH
T. S.

There are fold-up toilet seats just for this purpose. So you can unfold it and sit it on a regular size toilet, making it safer for your daughter to sit without fear of falling thru. The noise issue is something you and she will have to work on and not just for toilet training. Start exposing her to loud venues, rushing waters, showing her what's noise, what's to be expected, how to stay safe, how to enjoy life. Back her up, but don't let her hide from life. While you take her out during this transition period, make sure that she goes to the bathroom before you leave home. Then use pull-ups during your excursions. I had similar issues with my niece when she would come for visits. When we entered a store, I found out where the restroom was and that was the first stop before shopping. We took, we made, the time to use the facilities and it helped curb her fear of having 'an accident' and the embarrassing consequences. Fold up toilet seat, try it at home first, get her acquainted, accustom to using it before springing it on her while shopping. Take care!!

I would get a potty chair for the car. They have kinds that have little plastic bags that attach to the bottom so you can just wrap it up and toss it. Or just buy the the little Ikea one and keep garbage bags and lysol wipes in the car. Do that until she is less afraid of the bathroom noise.

Hi A.,

I went through the EXACT same thing with my daughter. It sounds like they have a similar personality. She is now almost 4 and uses any public restroom without fear. She had a lot of fears around your daughters age that gradually diminished by 3 1/2 (public toilets, men, and cameras). I found that if I didn't force her into anything she found scary and encouraged her to try things slowly, it helped. For the public restrooms, I gave her the option to use the public restroom or her travel potty. She always chose the travel potty at first but gradually started trying the public restroom. Before she actually used the public restroom, I had her go in to wash her hands or wait for her Grandma without putting any pressure on her to try. It also helped to use single person bathrooms first so you don't have other toilets flushing next to you. I guess I was trying to show her that it is an okay place without forcing her into anything that was too scary. I learned these ideas from reading about fears/phobias/etc and how to conquer them. I was really concerned about her fears during the twos but I think it is very common and they will grow out of them if it is handled well. It sounds like you are already respecting her feelings and doing a wonderful job. I hope this helps a little. I know how frustrating it can be.

-C.

p.s. I got the travel potty online at One Step Ahead. It is the one that folds up into a small bag (I think it was called the Potette??) and has disposible plastic bags. I also got travel toilet paper at REI. The things we do as Moms....:)

Hi A.-
No 'advice' to offer, just wanted to tell you what worked for me...
I have 2.5 y/o twins and we went straight from diapers to 'big boy/girl underpants'. I always try to have them go before we get in the car (try to make it part of our 'getting out the door' routine), then take their baby bjorn potties in the trunk and will usually end up taking one of them before we head into wherever we head into-I have no problem just opening up the back of the car, setting the potties out and plopping them on them. I have even just had them go on their potties on the side of the road or in the Costco parking lot etc before!. My kids are not scared of the public bathroom at all, but I try to reduce the chances of hearing "mommy, poopoo peepee in potty"midway through our shopping trip! :). You might try getting some of those disposable seat covers (they have ones with dora on them) that might make it 'special' for her (make a big deal out of it etc)...
I wish I had waited a bit longer to be honest before getting them out of diapers! Sounds horrible, but it was sooo much easier when they could just go in their diapers! :)
good luck,
J.

I took care of my granddaughter in the daytime all week because her mother worked. She was 2-3 years old. I put pull-ups on her when we went out. She would tell me and we'd use the rest room if one was convenient. Sometimes we were too far away or there wasn't one available. I told her it was OK to go in the pull ups in these circumstances. She seemed to understand and was frequently dry when we returned home. Doing this did not seem to interfere with potty training.

We were easy going about potty training. My philosophy in child rearing is to use what works. For me, carrying around a potty chair feels like adding one more thing to have to do to an already long list of must dos and must carry. I would feel pressured which would add to the pressure my little one felt. "one must always potty in a chair/toilet even when one is only 2 1/2" sort of pressure. Consistency is good but so is flexibility.

Potty chair in the trunk is exactly what I recommend - even if your daughter didn't have issues with the big potty or public restroom. I potty trained two boys using the potty chair in the trunk. I just dumped it out when they were done, and ran a wet wipe around it. I kept a bag in the trunk for potty garbage. I recommend getting one with a lid to keep it a bit more sanitary.