HELP My 2 1/2 Year Sleeps with Us!

M.,

We put a full sized bed in my son's room and I moved in there with him for a while. Then I started just laying with him to get him to sleep and then I'd get up. Then I started sitting by his bed and holding his hand to get him to sleep and then I'd leave. Now I put him in bed, we talk for a few minutes, I'll rub his back or tell him a story or sing to him. Then I say "good night, I love you, Sweet, Sweet boy." And "I'll check on you in a little while" and I leave the room. It has been a L-O-N-G process but it was worth it. He's 3.5 now. When I first quit sleeping with him he was up a lot at night but with a lot of patience and consistency, he's adjusted. One thing that did help is that my husband started going in to comfort him when he'd wake up. That really pissed him off at first but it worked. He's not nearly as anxious to wake up in the night if daddy comes in. LOL

T.

Try laying down with him in his bed till his almost asleep, then get up and say "I have to go potty I will be right back." (this worked for 1 child not the other) Most of the time they fall aslepp before you come back and remember that mommy did leave me. Do this and gradually wean him. I just trained my son ( 2 1/2) to sleep in his bed (about 3 months ago) and when he wakes up in the middle of the night one of us goes in HIS bed to cuddle.
I've also heard of putting the big boy bed in your room for a while and gradually move it farther and farther away. Or let him sleep on the floor in your room.
I swore I wouldnet let child #3 sleep with us, but she does (makes nursing so easy) but with 3 kids under age 5 we find ways to be intimate, be it the couch or the kitchen. Do what feels right for you. Obviously start breaking the habit before its too late but if occasionally he still comes in to sleep with you its not the end of the world.

Honestly I am really bad at this myself, but these are some tips friends of mine have used and it worked for them. In the end you will find what works for you and it will work out in the end.
Good luck.
C.

You know,I had that same problem with my daughter,we finally got a tv in her room with a dvd player,she would eventually go to sleep,we would put on her favotire movies,it worked,for a while,then i had to start sleeping in her room till she got use to it,my husband would come in at five in the morning,wake me up,and help drag my butt back into our bed,so,you can always try sleeping with him in his room for a bit,or put his bed in your room till he gets use to having his own bed.You can always decorate his ceiling with glow in the dark stickers give him something to look at while he falls asleep,make sure he's worn out enough to fall asleep quickly,this way you don't have to deal with a lot of screaming and crying.I wish you good luck though.

We are never really ready for them to become independant, but being a mother of 6, it is a lot harder for us then it is for them and nothing has really changed since your daughters were that age. I found that the longer I let them sleep with me the longer the fits and screams lasted when it was time for them to become "big kids". With my baby, I bought special bedding that she got to choose and a special light that made the designs on the wall. This made the transition easier for her. On the other side my 17 year old I had to promise something special for every night she sleep in her big bed (this only lasted for about 10 days ad then she was fine). Bribery is a parents best friend when it comes to something that is best for them.

Hi M., My son is three and occasionally still sleeps in our room. My husband has a rule that if he is going to sleep in our room he can sleep on the floor next to the bed. My son knows that and if he comes in at night he doesn't even bother us just brings his pillow and blanket with him. It works well for us, he feels secure but he's not in our bed and we all get sleep.

good luck,
R.

Your right...you need to get him out of your bed. Our 2 year old daughter has never been allowed to sleep in our bed with us. Ever since we brought our son home from the hospital 4 1/2 weeks ago, our daughter has been coming into our room every night. We just put her back into her bed, sometimes 2-3 times a night. It will be difficult, but if he doesn't learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on his own soon, he may not ever, or at least it will be a huge problem later. I suggest putting up a security gate and leaving his door open. It will be hard to hear him cry at first, but he will get over it and things will be a lot better. My sister went through something similar. They let their daughter fall asleep in their bed every night and then would put her in her bed. She is five and has to have the t.v. on in her bedroom to fall asleep. Like I said, you should do something about this soon. The sooner the better. Good luck. Remember, they can't stay young forever.

I have a daughter with a sleep disorder and when she was a baby she would go days without sleeping. her doctor told me to put a monitor in her room, child proof it and lock the door. It worked pretty well but I was really uncomfortable not being able to look in on her without making her think I was coming to get her out.

With my youngest son putting him to bed was hard so I got a baby gate and turned the light off. We did our bedtime routine and I then left the room and locked the gate. then I could check on him. Several times he fell asleep in front of the gate and after a few days he would know when he was falling asleep and climb into bed. It also helped because he couldn't leave the room in the middle of the night and get into things. (I always worried that he would get up in the middle of the night and get hurt while I slept)

Your son may cry for a while but cold-turkey is the best way. He will stand at the gate and cry and as long as he isn't hurt, ignore him. He will be able to see that you are still there and won't be as scared. It does help to quiet the house down. Turn off unused lights and turn the TV down so it isn't blaring. You want as little stimulation as possible.

HI M. I have 3 boys and 1 girl my 3 boys always wanted to sleep with mom and dad. My oldest son we bought him a bed never slept in it. I no longer have him with me he stays with my ex-husband but he still sleeps with dad and he's 9yrs old. I have a 4yr old and when he was smaller I couldn't get him out of our bed either but we bought him a car bed and he slept in it okay but would wake up at night. But know my kids have a bunk bed and he sleeps by himself at the top. My daughter 3yrs was used to the crib so when we changed her to a toddler bed we had her every night in our bed. Now she sleeps with little brother in the bunk bed and stays asleep all night. The baby almost 18 months can't sleep without touching someones hair. But I'm finally getting a good night sleep sometimes. All kids are different don't worry pretty soon he won't want to be with you anymore. I believe if you can fit a bed in your room for him that would be a great start and gradually move him to a different room. And always say that he's a big boy they love to here those things. Good luck.

Do it sooner than later if that's your wish. Dr. Sears feels that the "Family Bed" is fine as long as it allows restful sleep and is not upsetting anyone. Intimacy, however, seems difficult even so.
We struggled with the same issue for years, especially since we only have one child. I think it's really best to insist that the child sleep in their own cozy bed and only cuddle with you in your bed perhaps first thing in the morning or in the evening before bedtime. That way everyone's needs are met.
You will have to stick to it and come up with a nightly ritual that makes your child feel secure in their own bed, read a story or do guided imagery. Use a nightlight if need be.