Help! My 17 Month Old REFUSES to Take Naps or Go to Bed!

Updated on January 24, 2008
K.G. asks from Campo, CA
14 answers

We took a family trip to Rhode Island from the 10th through the 19th. Ever since we've been back, my 17 month old has refused to take his typical afternoon nap or go to sleep at bedtime. He has always been on a pretty strict schedule, with an afternoon nap at 12:30 and his bedtime at 8:00. He has always been very good about putting himself to sleep but now he stands in his crib and screams! I feel like I'm losing my mind. Could it be that his schedule got so messed up with the time zone change and extra activities or is this just a phase that they go through? Thanks in advance for any help!

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So What Happened?

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who responded to my request! I never dreamed I would get so many responses and LOVE that everyone just about had the same advice... to stick to the schedule and continue on with nap time and his bedtime. It sure did make me feel alot better because that's what I intended to do, it just sounded so terrible to think that was the solution. Knowing that many other moms out there would do the same thing made me realize it was the answer. Thanks again!!!

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J.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

We went through that phase too. After many frustrated nights we decided to just let her scream it out. At first we'd go in after 5 mins and calmly tell her it was sleep time. then the next time we'd leave it for 10 mins, go in and tell her it was sleep time she eventually got the idea. It meant a couple of nights where she nearly screamed the house down but on the thrid night she only screamed for five mins and the next night she slept. It's tougher on the parents than it is on them. My daughter is now almost three and I'm less hesitant to let her scream out a tantrum ( which don't last long because she realizes she's not being given any attention) after about a minute of screaming now she comes to me and tells me she's ready to use her normal voice.

Another option may be to think about a toddler bed but perhaps not for a couple of months yet.
Jen

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey K.,

I have a 16 month old that has had a pretty strict schedule pretty much same times as you and the past couple weeks, she has not wanted to go to bed at 8pm. she is still going down with a bottle around 8pm but as sooon as the bottle is gone, she is screaming and crying to get back up. She is then up for another hour or so until and then will go down for the night. since you are having the same problems, i wonder if it is just a phase they are going through. I will be watching your responses. Sorry I couldn't be more help. Just know you are not alone! =)

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A.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

What seemed to work for my now 15 month old is a regular routine before bedtime so she is expecting the pillow and the monkey to sleep with in her own crib. What works for her is dinner, bath immediately following, short playtime and reading with Daddy since she is with me all day. Now she just lays down in her crib when she knows it's time to sleep and I stay there until she falls asleep. Maybe this would work for your baby. I feel it is a gentle and comforting way to help her go to sleep for the night.

A.

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L.W.

answers from San Diego on

My daughter went through the same thing when she was around 18 months. She was a great sleeper and then one day she didn't want to go to sleep. She seemed to be afraid to fall asleep even though she was really tired. It was so bad that she started climbing out of her crib. We were worried about her safety (and our sanity) so we got a crib tent which enclosed the top of her crib. It worked great because it was something new and she realized that she had no choice but to go to sleep. The crying lessened each time and eventually stopped after 2-3 weeks. Hang in there!! It's just a phase!

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B.F.

answers from San Diego on

Hi, He will put himself to sleep again in a day or so. As long as he can't get out of his crib, he can scream as much as he wants with you checking on him (not picking him up) at appropriate intervals. Be sure you have something else to do with your mind during the screaming. Your anxiety can feed his, even from across the house. Singing always worked for me. It takes enough concentration that I can't think about the other noise. One other suggestion: If it's almost time for a checkup or if it will make you feel more confident, let his pediatrician check him over to be sure there's nothing medical that's cropped up. Good luck! Grams

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D.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Absolutely! Just give it time. We use to travel all the time, so I know what you are going through. Just STAY CONSISTANT, presenting him with the same exact nap time you would like him to have every day, as well as bed time, and I promise he will get back on schedule. This also happens to be the same time parents misunderstand their kids and think the child doesn't want to take naps anymore. The opposite is actually true. Their little bodies still need tht sleep, they are just having so much going on in their little brain, their bodies can become overwhelmed and restless. Keep on laying him down and letting him be, encouraging him once verbally in the beginning of nap time that he needs his sleep and you'll see him again when its time to get up. Hope that helps a little. Oh yeah, and listen to a headset!!! lol...

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R.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

YES!! It is entirely possible that your child's schedule is a bit out of whack from the trip you took. I had one child that could travel anywhere and it didn't really affect him. However, my daughter was a different story. The other thing I noticed with children is that some kids have a hard time "de-compressing" after they have had a lot of attention. If you were with a lot of adults who played with your child, gave him lots of extra love and attention, then it can be hard for him to go back to a typical day where mommy and daddy have a life to run and get back to reality. My daughter was that way because she was the first granchild in the family and so it was hard for her when we had to get back to normal life. Kids are so smart at such a young age! Try reading him a book at his normal bedtime and keeping lights low and activities very quiet. Push his bedtime back maybe 15 mins. as you get him adjusted to the time change. Tell him you are home now and it is time to sleep in his bed in his room. He may have to cry some to get to sleep (even though it breaks your heart) but he will be O.K. You could try going in at 5 mins. and then again at 10 mins. and just peek in and tell him he's o.k. and to go to sleep. I don't know how this will work with him. (It always made my daughter more upset)-but it may work for you. Also, keep in mind that sleep patterns do change and sometimes pushing bedtimes back slightly (15-30 mins.-not too long because you don't want him to get overtired!) and putting them down when they are truly tired can make a difference. Give it some time as he adjusts from the trip. Ten days is a long time in the life of a toddler! Hope this helps!

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R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sounds tough, but you have to let him cry it out. First start with the bedtime and then the nap should fall back into place. It should only take one or two times before he's back to going to sleep without crying.

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B.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K., I know exactly how you feel. My 18 month old son did the same exact thing. We went on a trip to the Yucatan, Cancun area of Mexico,after that he has been going to bed past 10pm sometimes even 11pm. He also has to have me in the bedroom lately and has cried and fussed. So I agree with you it does throw off their sleep routine. So I don't know if traveling is more work than fun especially with a tot in tow. Also try www.nativeremedies.com they make an organic,herbal all natural formula just for and very safe for babies,infants and toddlers that's helps them sleep through the night it's called Serenite Jr. Good luck ! B.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Vacations can often cause more stress in the life of us moms than people realize. Taking naps and bedtime routines are a learned behavior. So, if he learned how to get out of taking them, he can relearn the routines that you establish for him. All 17 month old children need a rest in the middle of the day (and so do their moms), so be firm and stick to the routine. It takes longer to re-establish a routine, once it has been interrupted, but he will get back into the schedule. You have to be firm and don't give in. There may be a few days that he cries himself to sleep or just lays there, wide eyed until you come back to get him out after an hour (or however long you choose). He will learn...it's not the time change, it's just more intersting to be out of the bed, than in it.

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

K.~

Good Morning...Try giving him a warm bath and a warm milk bottle before he goes to bed and rub the side of his face near his ear lobe and see if that works. That use to work for my daughter who is now in the 5th grade.

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B.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hey K.,
It's probably just a phase. My daughter is 18 months old and recently wen through that also. It lasted about a week or two and she would cry. But don't give up. Esp. that nap time: Have him stay in his crib for at least an hour during nap time and eventually he'll go back to taking naps. You don't want to loose that time and certainly don't want to give into him getting his way. He still needs that sleep! And you need your time :) My daughter would cry and talk and play by herself (don't put toys or anything in the crib) but just allow them to figure out that this is suppose to be his quiet/nap time.

Good luck.
B.

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C.B.

answers from San Diego on

It is likely related to the travel, time changes and overall just over stimulation. We experienced the same sort of thing with our 22 month old twins after holiday. It may take a couple more days, but you are going to have to stick with it and do things as you have always done them. He'll settle in and it will just suddenly click one day and he will fall back into a schedule, but have faith it will happen. Babies are creatures of habit and when that is disrupted it can effect everything about them. Just think of it like you moved him and just as he was getting settled you moved him again. He just needs a little time to adapt. Don't get stressed because they know it and that will keep him up crying even more. Remain calm, I promise you his routine will return. He didn't suddenly stop needing to nap.

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,
I think the trip messed up his schedule, but even so, I think it's still something you and re-introduce. Letting him cry it out (although is very hard to do...I know I've done it, too) will work. My son was used to having someone in the room when he slept and I needed to break that so I let him cry it out. The first night he cried off and on for 45 minutes. The next day it was less and by the end of the week he didn't cry. As long as I am consistent with his bedtime ritual he's okay. I'm sure you don't want your baby to cry, but it'll get easier as each day passes. Good luck!

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