15 Month Old Change in Sleep Behavior

We've gone through several phases like this with our son, and I don't pretend to have all the answers at all - in fact we still regularly struggle. But, one thing I've figured out, is that its a fine line between him not being tired enough to go to sleep and fighting it, or being over-tired, so he's pumped up on adrenaline and physically can't get to sleep (the fidgeting sounds like the latter). Its like if you go for a run or do other exercise late in the evening - its much harder to wind down straight away for an early bedtime.

We've found that the most important thing is for ALL of us to be relaxed at bedtime (especially the adult doing the putting down) so that we can help our son relax. It doesn't mean we can't mess around and tickle and chase etc after coming home from work, but that we need a good wind down period before the story even. Easier said than done when racing around all the time to and from work, and never feeling like we're getting enough done in any domain! It almost seems like our son has an attention 'bank' as well... The more fun quality, playing and on Aidan's agenda time we spend together, the more relaxed and secure he is, and the better he goes to sleep. If we've been away a bit more than usual, or distracted or stressed ourselves during our time with him, it seems to play out at night. I think our son is just particularly sensitive actually, as no one I know has had such a high level of variability as us - although we did move recently, which completely through the good nights/bedtimes off.

I also find our son sleeps better when he's had a good mix of physical activity with plenty of rest as and when he needs it - so that he's not being 'kept up' when he's timed, but he's working hard when he's not tired.

So, for your little guy just be on the watch for that fine line - may be worth a try to cut down to the one nap per day consistently. Previously, he might have been catching up on sleep lost the rest of the time when he was with you... now, he might be more suited to a steady schedule all the week through. Or, he could be simply over-tired most of the time if he still hasn't caught up on enough sleep from that late night a while back. Maybe just see if you can figure out where he stands on the over-tired vs. not tired enough continuum for a bit, and then once you've figure that out, make a few changes and stick with them for abit.

Good luck!

I feel your pain. I would have liked more info on what happens after you leave him screaming... do you and your husband keep checking in on him, how long until he finally does fall asleep, does he stay asleep.... What's most important I have found with my kids is that a routine be established (as you've done), and this is the BIGGIE, and that your child learns to self-soothe, as I'm sure you already know. If he is screaming, (and there is truly no reason for it, illness, injuy,...) he is looking for you or your husband to soothe him to sleep as you had done previously before putting him into his crib (based on your description). As long as you establish a routine ie. reading, bathing, etc. and then putting him into the crib and maybe rubbing his back and singing a lullaby as he calms down into position to sleep, then quietly tuck him in, say whatever you like, ie. "nighty nighty, sleep tight, sweet dreams, I love you". Then, leave him be. When he screams, give him time to soothe himself (15 mins), and if he persists, go in, tuck him back in (don't pick him up), say it's time to sleep, and leave quickly. He will see that you are tending to him, but it is time for bed. period. He may scream again and longer this time, but you MUST let him learn to soothe himself. Give him 20 minutes this time, same routine. and so on. Eventually, his little subconscious mind will get it and he WILL sleep. It may take one night or one week or longer. HANG IN THERE! THE PAYOFF IS WORTH IT! I promise. Please, don't be one of those moms who complain about their kid's poor sleep habits when the mom is the reason the kid has such poor sleep habits. Teach your child and he will learn. Many times the lessons we teach them are just as hard on us, but we and our children benefit in the long run. Be Strong. Your son is counting on it!

From the sounds of it it could be time just to have the one nap all the time. Maybe switching between one and two naps is screwing him up. Also, he might be at an age where he is becoming more aware that you're leaving him when he goes to bed. I know when my oldest son was that age we started having a lot of sleep issues. We had always rocked him to sleep and then put him in his crib no problem. All of a sudden he started waking up the second we put him in his crib and we'd have to go through the whole rocking thing again and again until finally he stayed asleep. It was really disruptive and went on for months. Finally when he was 21 months we got him a big boy bed and just lay beside him while he fell asleep and then slipped out of the bed. That seemed to work and that was the last time we had any problems with his sleep habits. Around when turned 2 he started to go to sleep on his own. Good luck!

If at daycare he only gets 1 nap, but from Friday to Sunday he is getting 2 naps this may be messing up his entire schedule. My suggestion is to start on a Friday when you are home with him and keep him up all day, skipping all naps. By 7:00pm he should be good and tired to go to bed. Then Saturday put him down for his nap at the same time daycare does. Stick with this routine. Having 2 different schedules to follow is hard enough for an adult, much less a baby. If he cries when you leave the room then quietly go back in and give him his pacifier and lay him back down. Say goodnight and leave. It could be that if you are paying him alot of attention when you leave, he has figured out how to get you to come back. When he does wake up after taking a nap, cuddle with him and praise him by telling him what a good boy he was for taking a nap.

Oh, K., don't go on a guilt trip to add to your woes ! I don't think one late night after your husband's gold outing has anything to do with it. And it doesn't sound like he's really upset about you leaving, or he'd have clung to you like crazy when you got back.

That leaves maturation out there as a known issue. So maybe it's time to change the bedtime routine a little. He is almost 2, and he is developing his own mind and his own desires, and he wants what he wants when he wants it. . . . It won't last forever, cuz age 3 will most surely arrive and with it, a more peaceful time as he consolidates the great strides in autonomy that he made when he was 2.

The challenge is survival -- in the family, sometimes we have tons of fun, and sometimes we simply survive each other. Be sure to tell him, "It's bedtime" when it's time to put PJ's on. Get the toys, the binky, and read the book. Maybe hold him a little longer in the dark before putting him in the crib. Or hold him and play some relaxing music on a CD player or something -- if you can get him to associate the music with the comfort of being held, then maybe when you put him down, and rub his back as he lies down, he'll continue to relax, then when you leave and the music is still playing, he'll associate the music with comfort and relaxation. ????

(I used to hold my little ones and sing to them until they fell asleep -- it was great exercise for me, cuz this usually started with bouncing them a bit in time to the beat, then going upstairs to bed and just singing by myself until they fell asleep in my arms -- then putting them in the crib. It took a whole lot longer, but I had wee ones and teens, and with the 2nd round of wee ones, I absolutely knew that these days were short ones, so I think I did it for me as much as for them ! hee hee)

Another thing to try would be to go for an 8:00 bedtime, and see if that helps. ?? At that age, mine were asleep at 8:00 and up at 6:00 in order for me to get them to daycare and me to work by 8:00 a.m. If you have those same timing issues, that might work ?

Hi K.,

All changes will affect a toddler.

Look on the web for resources to help your baby sleep.

Good luck. D.

With 3 kids, we've had our share of sleep problems. I know that anytime a child has been transitioning out of a nap (whether from 2 to 1 or 1 to none), it's a tough time. That's probably the bulk of the issue if I had to guess. I'd switch to one nap every day and keeping the bedtime routine consistent. It may still take a couple of weeks to work itself out, but the consistency will help a lot. I remember reading in several sleep book that it takes something like 14-21 days to firmly establish a new sleep pattern and get the body used to it. In the meantime, he may be a bit crankier during the day with only one nap, but that too will work itself out. Hang in there and know that kids tend to go through phases like that periodically but they do pass. Good luck!

We just switched from 2 naps to 1 with our 13 month old. During the transition time, her nighttime sleep was affected. We didn't have as many issues putting her down, but we did in keeping her down once she woke up in the middle of the night. Then her behavior mimicked what you're experiencing when you try to put your son down at night. We've been working on the 1 nap schedule for about 3 weeks now (naptime starts around noon - sometimes earlier/later depending on the day). Her nighttime sleep is getting better (knock wood). Like a previous poster said, I try to keep her busy during the day to wear her out so that she sleeps well. Some days I think she wears me out more than I do to her - LOL. I would definitely try the 1 nap schedule for the entire week, but give it some time to take affect. Good luck!

If your child is ok on one nap at school, I'd be consistent with that. As for the screaming, my son has gone through various stages of separation anxiety (or just not wanting the fun to stop) where he's had to cry when I left the room (the last one, I had to pry him off of me to put him in the crib), but the screaming has always gone away on its own. But I've found that if he's in a screaming phase, there's nothing you can do to prevent the screaming. (It's awful to listen to, I know) The more you intervene, the longer it will take for him to go to sleep to get the rest he needs. Or try Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

So you gave him and inch and he wants a mile? Sounds like my boys! I would definitely switch to one nap. It is so much easier I think! Don't let the one afternoon nap go for longer then 2 hours and make sure it is early, no later than 1. You might need to push back bedtime to around 8, but go back to your old routine and stick to it. I got a great deal of help from the sleep book by Dr Ferber, and I can't say enough positive things about it. It has an idea for every issue you might encounter, and I have had several! There is a schedule for going back in the room while your son is crying and patting his back but not picking him up. The times in between going in to his room stretch out longer and longer until he will finally get himself to sleep. It involves minimal to no talking and you are just there to reassure him that everything is all right. It sounds like maybe your travel got him a little worked up about mommy being there for him at bed time. I think it will smooth over quickly, hang in there!!!!