Help Me Get Rid of Our 3:30 Am Feeding!

Have you tried giving him a cup (not a bottle) of warm milk before you put him to bed? I would also try getting rid of the bottles, and if that doesn't work maybe just letting him cry through that feeding for a while is the only way to go.

I am a Newborn Care Specialist and we sleep train babies by the time they are 3 months old to sleep through the night, 7 PM - 7 AM. Once they achieve the alloted ounces for the day waking up at night is a habit.
At 20 months old it is just habit. You obviously are not fine with it or you would not have written into the board. It will take a few nights of consistently letting him cry himself back to sleep but you will be so grateful you took the couple of nights when he is sleeping and so are you. Pick a time where you can all sleep late in the morning as he will wake everyone up.
You son has taken over the ownership of the home at night and you are letting him.
Yep, we have a hard line when it comes to 'who is the boss of your home' You are not being mean when you let them cry it out. You are teaching them good sleep habits. The sleep habits they learn when they are small are the habits they will carry with them through adulthood.
N. H.

Dear S.,

Please do not use anything by Gary Ezzo. It's completely parent centered and pediatricians HATE it. He hasn't any education in child development or parenting strategies. I would suggest before you decide to use anything written by him that you check out this website: ezzoinfo.org. If you do decide to use Ezzo's info, at least you'll know what the pros and cons are. That being said, I totally feel you. I have an almost 2 year old who wakes up in the middle of the night, too. I'm okay with it-he'll outgrow it eventually, and I'm able to function. However, for a more child-centered option, I would recommend reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She has some great suggestions, and they are based on realistic expectations for your child at his age. Every child is different-I know that's so cliche. But, I think it's important to remember when you're dealing with a challenging issue. If your other kids didn't do what this youngest one is, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with baby #4. He just needs something different than 1, 2, and 3. And, by the way, sleeping through the night is considered 5 hours at a time by child sleep specialists. Boo-hoo for us, eh? So, I hope you check out No-Cry. Although Ezzo claims he's raising kids God's way, I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't ignore the cries of a child just to show him who's boss.

Good Luck, my sleep-deprived sister!

A.

What a blessing to be a SAHM! You're right - at 20 months children can and should be sleeping through the night. "Growing Kids God's Way" by Gary Ezzo, is a wonderful series on parenting.

Check out their website at www.gfi.org.

Unfortunately, since he's 20 months already, he has his own idea of what should happen in the middle of the night. You & your husband will have to "re-train" him to form new sleeping habits. Choose a few days when you don't have a lot going on & your husband will be home (for moral support). Make sure your son is full before going to bed, & if he wakes up in the middle of the night, give him 10 - 15 minutes to cry, then go check on him & make sure he's clean, dry & warm/cool enough & put him back to bed. It's hard to do, but give him 15 minute blocks of time, checking on him & then putting him back to bed. Perhaps this is the time to wean him from his bottle! It will be a long few nights, but he'll figure it out soon.

I say this, because we used the Growing Kids... series with all our children & they were sleeping through the night by 11-12 weeks! Sleeping through the night is not a skill we are born with, it needs to be learned. Good luck - and happy sleeping!

Hi I think that ,a snack before bedtime or a large, dinner would cut your early morning wake up call this resolved mine.l\\it di

First, can I assume that he is healthy and has a regular bedtime, sleeps and eats typical for his age? Since he is still using a bottle. Consider that he wants comforting versus food. Try playing quiet music/nature sounds in his room so when he wakes up it will help him fall back to sleep. He is too old to start a pacifier, but if he uses one you could try giving it to him when he wakes up and he can help himself get back to sleep. If that does not work. Consider, giving him a sippy cup with a small amount of water, comfort him, rock him, and then put him down and stroke his back downward to calm him and hope he goes to sleep. It is more work then giving him a bottle. The goal is to teach him how to go back to sleep, not feed him.

Are you sure he's not hungry??? Kids grown in their sleep, so he may still need food. I would read The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly. It is a great book that will really help. Dr. Sear's sleep book, and info at www.askdrsears.com can be helpful too!!

Oh, here is another link...

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html
But the first steps to dealing with the fact that your young child doesn't sleep through the night, or doesn't want to sleep without you is to realize that:

(1) Not sleeping through the night until they are 3 or 4 years of age is normal and healthy behavior for human infants.
(2) Your children are not being difficult or manipulative, they are being normal and healthy, and behaving in ways that are appropriate for our species.
Once you understand these simple truths, it becomes much easier to deal with parenting your child at night. Once you give up the idea that you must have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night, and view these nighttime interactions with your child as precious and fleeting, you get used to them very quickly.

i was a softie when it came to this with my kids, they also gave up the bottle when they were ready. as strict as i was about other stuff: respect, no yelling, no hitting, bedtime schedules, bath times, bla bla i never pushed the bottle issue. they slept longer in the morning thanks to that middle of the night bottle, allowing me to be ready for them the next morning before they woke up to have everything ready and waiting for them. it all depends what kind of schedule you want them to have. you may be shooting yourself in the foot with a child who is starving at 5 am and waking the entire family for his baba! ;)

my kids are grown now (19 yr old studying medicine, 18 year old boy with asperger and a 12 year old boy) and that's something i never regretted. my mum used to tell me: "ileana, i've never seen a college kid still taking a bottle", i think anything that soothes and calms a child is a good thing. and if he's hungry, gosh, i'll never deprive him. it's not like he'll always want that 330 feeding...don't worry, it all shall pass!

I would start out by telling your son he is a big boy now and he doesn't need bottles anymore. Take him to the store and have him pick out the sippy cups and have him help you box up the bottles and put them away for good. Make a clean break from that bottle. He will probably still wake up in the middle of the night, because more than likely he's doing it for comfort not because he is hungry. Milk should never be given at this stage of age in the middle of the night nor from a bottle because the milk sits on the teeth and promotes tooth decay. Do you really want to take your 2 year old to the dentist to fill cavities?

As for sleeping thru the night. Start out with a good bedtime routine (bath, brush teeth, read a book, kisses and hugs, etc.) and try and put him to bed at the same time each night. When he wakes, go in and let him know that he needs to go to sleep and rub his back for a min or so. Try and leave him while he is still awake but calm enough to go back to sleep. If he asks for a bottle, remind him that he's a big boy and you don't have the bottles anymore.

Remember that he has 2 parents and both should be apart of the responsiblity of the bedtime routine as well and helping him calm down thru the night. I wish you the best of luck in whatever method you use to get you past this stage of his life. God Bless!

Hi S.,
I used to place the bottle in the corner of my sons crib when I go to sleep, he would find it when he woke up in the night.

Try giving him a bottle of water instead of milk. I did this with my son and he was a little mad the first night, then he just started drinking the water, and after a week or two he must have decided it just wasn't worth getting up for water.