Help! How Can I Help My Sister Cope with a Pregnancy Loss While I'm Pregnant?

SEND her something!! I lost a baby at 6 weeks due to a tubal pregnancy. She was 3 months along at that point with my niece. Her then 9 year old daughter made me a flower vase out of a coffee can and put flowers in it and my sister gave me a card with a poem about pregnancy loss in it. It meant soooooo much to me!!! After that, she went on to buy me a figurine of a baby boy angel on a cloud (precious moments) and gave it to me. I loved it so much. She was really the only one to recognize the pregnancy as I felt it. So many people will be telling her "It was God's will" or (even worse), "There must have been something wrong with the baby". She needs support!!! Don't be shy! Acknoledge it! She'll appreciate it, I assure you!

im sorry for your sister's loss...i lost mine around the same time.
when my younger sister lost hers, the only thing i did was just sit there and hold her hand..
there really isnt much you can do when somebody loses a baby..its a difficult situation, i think because alot of people really dont know how to deal with it.
when i lost mine, all i wanted to do is sit in a dark room, curled up in a ball and cry..friends tried to invite me to go do stuff, but you really dont feel like doing anything.
but, i think sending flowers is a wonderful, and touching idea..she is lucky to have a sister like you..
as for talking and dealing with it, allow her to come to terms and deal with it on her on time..let her come to you..and she will..
there are 2 occasions during the year i still get sad, when i lost mine, and when i was due.
its something that will always stick with you, my husband doesnt like to discuss our loss...
just tell her how much she means to you and how much you love her.
im sorry for your sister's lost, and congrats on your baby.

I sorry this is happening to you and your sister. It is hard losing a baby. I miscarried at 11 weeks while my sis-in-law was about 17 weeks. When I told her she cried and cried. I knew she was very sincere, and also that the thought of that happening to her was more than she could handle. I felt bad for her. It was my 3rd pregnancy and her 1st. Anyway. I know every situation is different because every relationship is different. I hope that your sister will be okay and have a quick recovery and also that she would never ever want any ill for you, including ever feeling guilty about your pregnancy. Leave her a message that you're thinking of her and love her. No need to hash out the details. Just simply letting her know you care should be enough for now.

Hi S.,

Email her or send her a note telling you're there is she needs you. You are not close, don't live close and don't see eye to eye so your pregnancy is probably not on the forefront of her mind. My best friend and I were pregnant at the same time when I miscarried twins. I did not resent her pregnancy and only wanted the best for her. She even named her little girl the same name I picked out for mine....that stung a little, for a while. I got over it. Simply let her know you're available.

When delivery time comes let her make the fuss or stand back. You will be busy. Festivities like showers and such can be avoided simply due to the distance. Don't feel guilty. As long as you don't rub her face in it there shouldn't be ANY issue.

God bless and Congratulations!

M.

When I miscarried I wanted to handle it privately as well. I am a pretty open person but the hurt and pain I needed to deal with on my own. I think flowers would be fine, after all you will send them rather then personally deliever them (its harder to accept things like that for me when they are personally delievered). Seeing them may help her deal with her feelings. Maybe even just a "sister to sister" card would be great.
If you talk to her often I would wait for her to ask you questions about your pregnancy. With anyone else in the family I don't see why you can't share your joys and milestones of pregnancy. You can also share your sarrow for your sister as well, if you feel like it. I know its a tough situation to be caught in, I hope it gets better soon. Good Luck.

sorry to hear of your sisters loss of her baby. Thats hard. I was in the same situation but with friends and sister in laws around me. My first pregnancy and it was a dream. It really tears at you when you hear of such a loss. All you can do as a sister is to be there for her. Def call and leave her a very short loving message that you are here for her and she is in her thoughts all the time and that you wish you were there giving her lots of hugs. Some ppl grieve without dealing. Others just let it roll of their shoulders. Its not your sisters fault that this happened. Its a common thing unfortunately. I had all 3 of my sister in laws miss carry along with 3 girlfriends in a one year period. One friend had 3 miss carriages before she was a month pregnant before I was. We both had healthy babies a month a part. Sometimes having that knowledge that you are not alone in this loss does help. Reassure her she is not alone. To look within others, even her friends, she may be surprised to find out others close to her have gone through this loss and understand a great deal.

Your sister may also not want to make you upset. But this is a time where family and friends are needed for support. Even just kind words. No advise. Just a I LOVE YOU...but if your heart is telling you to send something, then follow that feeling. Your sister will appreciate the gesture.

Again, truly sorry for your sisters loss. She will get pass this.

send her a card explaining that you understand that she needs to cope in her own way but that you love her and am there for her if and when she needs you. and congrats on your bundle :>.

My sis in law and I were 1 week apart when she announce she was pregnant at 10 weeks...I was 9 weeks. I had already had 1 neonatal death & 2 miscarriages so we didn't plan on telling anyone for a few more weeks...get to the 3 mo mark. So, the 3 mo mark rolled around and she announced they miscarried! I was devastated because I'd been there and this child was a surprise for them but my brother was ecstatic about a new baby. I sent a note and let them know I was here if needed (they never 'needed') and let it go.
Well at 5.5 months, we had a family gathering at their house! I was nervous about her seeing me huge prego and sort of shyed away a little bit. Didn't talk about the pregnancy to anyone while she was around. She gave me a huge box of things people had given her when they announced the good news.
She was one that just erased the memory and went on. Things were great after that.
Everyone goes through it differently. I would send her the flowers with a "I'm here when you need me, Love you" card or make a call leaving a message if need be. She will reach out when needed and be there as you can.
Good luck!

When I experienced my pregnancy loss(es) I also didn't want a lot of fuss. Not that what you are doing is "fuss"- I just didn't want to make a big deal of it. Being very honest with you, the hardest part for me was other pregnant women. I am not normally like that but it was so hard when a young woman came into my office 9 mos pregnant- I faked a phone call because I couldn't deal with that at that time! I wouldn't bring up your pregnancy to her- just talk with her and if she asks questions answer it briefly. In time she will heal and be better able to handle things.

I like the idea of flowers- find a nice message to put on the card. I did get in touch with an organization that sends bracelets to the Mom in honor of the babies. It was nice too. No matter what you do, let her know you care and are always there for her.