HELP!!! Child Acts like an Angel for dad...then I Get Home!!!

Hi A.! I am so happy you posted this. I have a 15 month old daughter and we are going through the exact same thing. I can't not cuddle her but I keep my cool and I am working on giving her more independence when I am around. I make her walk more and hold her hand. I let her explore more on her own. My feelings are that once she is more independent and brave, she won't be so Mommy Clingy. It seems to be working for us. Thank you for posting! I am so glad that I am not alone and I loved reading everyone's helpful responses.

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I do not believe for one minute that he was a complete angel for dad for every second of his day:)

I do not think that you cuddling him has made him insecure! Cuddling is good especially if he doesn't see you all day. But, I will add that make sure you follow through with your decisions and what you say. Kids need to know that you mean what you say and will do it. That doesn't mean you can't be kind, cuddly and loving. I think he probably just wants to be with you all the time. Mothers never go to the bathroom alone, it's sad but true. My daughter is the exact same way (she's almost 3) and has been since she was born and I spend all day with her. If I'm home, it's all about me and sometimes it's a little much, so I hear you. I think you just need to do what you're doing and stay strong and sometimes let dad help him, even if he cries and throws a fit.

I have 5 children and my last 2 boys were both like that. It's just natural for them to have more attachment to you because you are with them more. Boys especially have this sort of attachment to Mom. It sounds stupid at this age to say this, but he is manipulating you. He knows that you are the soft touch and he can get what he wants from you. You have to make sure when you say no, you really mean no. The absolute worse thing you can do is to say no, and then when he starts to cry and have a fit, you panick and give in. He knows you will either give in or he will get a lot of cuddling. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the cuddling, but you can't feel guilty about saying no and let him think that he won or he will continue to manipulate you and pit you against your Husband for everything he wants. This has nothing to do with his thinking you won't judge him for his behavior, he is just 15 months old, he doesn't know what judging and accepting him uncondidtionally is all about yet, but he does understand getting the things he wants, and who will give those things to him. So stay firm, a littel crying, even a lot of crying, will not hurt him.

My kids did the same thing only opposite; they were angels for me, but when daddy got home- they would go nuts. For a long time, i couldnt figure out what was going on? I thought they missed their daddy- and they acted out....but what was truely happening was...I would relax on my rules when their daddy was around, hoping he would take over and help; What the problem was (in my case):, the kids learned after time, that when daddy was around, mommy wasn't enforcing all the rules- eventually they learned that they could get away with being naughty/roughty and unruly when daddy walked through the door.

Maybe you need to make sure that the "rules" dont change with individual adults. As soon as i enforced good behavior- in the company of dad- grandma and everyone else, my children started to make more sense. Kids are smart- even at 15 months.

I hope i could help, and i hope i haven't offended anyone- i was only giving an example of what i went through- and how it helped MY situation.

Good Luck!

Completely normal. My son was like that at that age too. They definitely know mom is the softy and they try to get away with more. Being a sensitive mommy myself, it is very hard to watch the fits and not do whatever it takes to make my son happy. However, you have to stand your ground and not give in. And don't worry about him being so clingy. It's just a phase. Unfortunately it will pass. I say unfortunately because soon he will be so independent and he will not want you to help him with anything. My son is 3 now and no matter what he's doing if I get too close to him he'll hold up his hand and say "NOO! Me do it!!" So enjoy your cuddle time and your clingy little semi-angel. He will grow out of it. :)

I would like to say he will grow out of it, and he will for the most part, but there will still be times when only you will have these experiences. As others said, as long as you are being consistent and not giving in to his fits, keep doing what you are doing. Cuddles are fine. He has plenty of time to develop more independence. And actually, your love will help foster that. Now if he's just being lazy and not doing things you know he can do, that's different. But overall what you described sounds pretty typical. Our 3 year old can still be that way from time to time. Hang in there!

Please don't stop being the parent that cuddles and talks to him all the time. There is NOTHING wrong with that. Just try not to reward the behavior. Read Love and Logic for early childhood...it really is a great book and will give some pointers. With my daughter, I would just say something like, "oh, what a bummer (that was our "word"). Mommy can't hold you when you're kicking and screaming, but I can't wait for a hug when you're all done." Took a bit, but it did work. Good luck! I know it can be difficult, but hang in there. Your hugs and cuddles and talking didn't cause this. you just have to find the best way for your family to work through it.

nah don't stop the cuddles, he's only 15 months old! it might be a transition thing, i know my son gets cranky when it's that time of day. and yes, he trusts you so he knows he can act out and you will still love him. plus dads seem to have that "i'm a man and you will do as i say" thing, sometimes us moms are a little more marshmallowy. if this is a new situation, maybe he's still adjusting. there are tons of potential causes. regardless, maybe spend a few minutes cuddling BEFORE all the drama starts - as soon as you walk in the door, maybe. put him in the kitchen with you while you are making dinner, whatever you have to do. it's probably stress from missing you. just love him, you'll get through this. (plus men just have to brag that they do things "better", whether it's true or not. if he's so good with him, ask him what he does differently)