Help! 7 Month Old with Severe Seperation Anxiety

Perfectly normal. It will get better. Play peek a boo. That always works well. He is developing normally ,so that should make you happy. Hang in.
Before you know it you will be chasing him because he is going the other way.

He is not developmentally ready to learn for you to leave him. He just is not capable of being "broken" of crying when you leave, and if you try to break this "habit" or train him out of it, it will make him more insecure -- not more secure.

Here's why: At only seven months -- still a VERY young infant -- he does not know that you exist unless you are right there where he can see you. Did your realize that when you leave the room, in his brain, you have not "left the room and are in another room." You have vanished forever. He has no concept that you are somewhere else. He has no concept that you can and will come back. Very young infants only recognize "Here" and "Not here" for your presence.

You cannot teach him yet that you are coming right back and are only next door. He WILL learn that, probably by around age one or so, but please accept that he is not developmentally at that stage yet and you are expecting way too much if you think that you can teach him that.

The fact that he "used to" be OK with meeting new people and now wants only mom is perfectly normal and almost all babies go through a stage where they don't want to see anyone but mom. Truly. It's normal. He did not get traumatized, or suddenly start hating the world; he's realizing that you are the center of his universe. If you do the "cry it out" that some advocate, yes, he'll eventually stop crying, but not because he feels secure (he isn't) or realizes you are nearby (he doesn't) but because he's worn out.

At this stage, please, go to him whenever he cries. This will not "spoil" him, and neither will holding him whenever he wants to be held. NOT holding young infants is likelier to make them think their adults are not going to be there for them.

This is normal. You have to be willing to leave him, crying and screaming, while you feel guilt-ridden, and return to him over and over.

In his little mind, developmentally, all he knows is that you're gone. GONE FOREVER!!!

As he moves forward in his development, as long as you consistently show him that every time you leave, you also return, he'll start remembering and will have less and less anxiety.

The way you handle it is to keep leaving and keep coming back. Start with short periods of time (like showers, though I don't suggest that you have your husband standing out there with him crying....he needs to take him and work to distract him with a snack or something) and move on to a trip to go get gas, to the store, or an evening out.

This to shall pass!!!

ETA: Also....don't make a bunch of fuss when you leave, kissing and hugging and prying him off of you. A quick "Bye! See you later!" and walk out.

But DO make a fuss when you return. Lots of loves and kisses, to remind him that things are good when you come back.

EVERYTHING Leigh R. said .... Again, and again, and again. If you attempt to "break" him of this, it will last longer and get 20x worse. How worse? Here's our story ...

Our little boy came to us at 5 weeks old as a foster child. Between the ages of 6-10 months, we did visitation with bio mom ... He cried for me, but there were others in the room that he knew, so he was ok once he was settled. Then at 15 months until 18 months, we did therapeutic visitation ... TRAUMATIC! He has imprinted this separation from me onto his very being and at nearly 3, we're unable to leave him without one of us or one of two people in our family (and we have a large extended family). He cries until he vomits. He doesn't believe we're coming back, no matter how much we tell him. It's been over a year and he still gets anxious and needs comforting when we go to Costco (the exchanges happened there for the visits). He remembers. Trust me, you do not want your little guy to have these same feelings for this length of time.

Please help him through this with love and comfort. Peekaboo is a great way. Once he was in the preadoptive phase, I brought him in the shower with me, rather than let him cry for me. Inconvenient, yes, but loving for him. You can do this without making him feel traumatized.

Best wishes.

This is a normal developmental stage. It's just occurred to your baby that you are not always with him, and that is scary to him.

Now he needs to learn that mommy always comes back after she leaves. To learn this, you need to leave, and come back. And leave and come back. If you always stay with him, he'll never learn this very valuable lesson. So keep leaving and coming back, even if it's just to the next room for a few minutes. Or to the shower. Or to the grocery store. And play a lot of peek-a-boo.

Actually, showing anxiety when you go somewhere is a good thing, whether you realize it or not... it means that he identifies that you are the primary person in his life.

As others have said, it is a phase he is going through, and he will get better.....

People often call this the "velcro" phase... where you feel he is attached to you with velcro!

I like the idea of peek-a-boo, also... especially if you can do it around a door or piece of furniture... he will start to get that "object permanence" and realize that even if he can't see it, it IS still there.

As with so many things, how you approach this is as important as the approach you choose.

Whether you choose to help establish object permanence (peek-a-boo, leaving for brief moments, etc) or just comfort & wait for the next developmental phase, your attitude will teach your little one a great deal. Make it a game. Have fun. Reassure. Don't coddle. Don't belittle. If you're in the next room & he fusses, call to him in an excited, happy voice. More "Hi, sweetie! Be right there! Let's sing!" & start a song. Less "Oh, honey. It's OK! Mommy will be back in just a minute." More excitement; less oh-poor-baby.

If you're positive, excited & normal about things, he will be too. If you're either too strict a disciplinarian or too reassuring (yes, there is such a thing), it establishes & reinforces more of a negative. He'll take cues from you.

Congratulations!
He's hit a totally normal development stage!
And it's going to be driving you crazy for possibly several years!
At that age our son would cry like his little heart was breaking if I didn't have physical contact with him.
It was too dangerous to hold him while cooking so I would hold one foot back as far as I could from the stove and had him sit on my foot.
Ridiculous yes, but it made him happy.
He also wailed like I'd died if I was out of sight even for a few minutes to use the toilet.
Eventually I could have him sit in the hall so he could see me and he'd be alright but it took months to get to that point.
Once he was walking he'd follow me around from room to room.
Once he was about 4 yrs old he finally would get too busy playing to worry about me leaving the room but he'd come check on me if he felt I was gone too long.
If you can hold him safely, then hold him.
If you can't hold him safely then he'll be fine and safe in his playpen while you shower or use the bathroom or cook, etc even though he cries his heart out.
It's definitely frustrating but babies are just programmed this way - it's instinct - and they don't do it deliberately.
He just knows he needs The Mama Goddess - his little world revolves around you.
Be very patient with him.
He will outgrow it sooner or later.
Being a parent is just one surprise after another!

It's very normal. He will go in and out of phases like this for the next few years. Go to the library and check out some books on child development (not parenting or discipline, DEVELOPMENT.) It helps to understand what you're dealing with.
My husband didn't like me leaving the kids with him when they were like this either, but sometimes mom just needs a break, especially a 24/7 mom. Tell dad he's just going to have to suck it up and deal with the crying, it's his kid too!

Play lots of peek a boo. It will get better within a few weeks, but expect hesitation even with people baby knows well. Just reassure baby and help her to adjust to a giant developmental shift: she understands relationships, and with this comes understanding that mommy disappears and shows back up.

H., I really think this a normal development stage. I think you handle it, by waiting for it to pass. You can break them of this, not at only 7 months old. He is 7 MONTHS old. He has been on the earth less then a year. Every sight, sound, feeling, smell...everything is foreign. You are not When he cries for mom, he needs mom. Period. He is an infant, and he will grow out of this.

This is a completely normal phase, and it's not ever, ever something you try to cure or break a baby of. He's only seven months old, not already seven months old, and therefore you don't let him "cry it out." All crying it out teaches him is that when he cries his daddy (or mommy) won't respond when he NEEDS his parents.

I agree with most of what's been said! Totally normal developmental phase that lasts longer and is more intense for some babies. It has nothing to do with what you have or haven't done; it's more about baby's personality.

Separation anxiety is something we know well in our house. Our first (boy) was really anxious about any kind of separation. He wouldn't even go to other people if I was sitting in the room. It was exhausting, frustrating, and exasperating, and it honestly felt like it lasted forever. I attended his needs, what HE felt he needed, and that was me. I took short breaks here and there to go to the grocery store and whatnot, and I did lots of loving on other people to show that they were safe and should be treated as friends. I also let him sit in the bathroom while I showered (even played peek-a-boo with him around the shower curtain hehe) and had him watch me cook. I did a lot of describing what I was doing to help him feel a part of whatever was happening. He was noticeably less "clingy" around 18mo, and it just continued to improve from there. He still had moments, especially when we started going to the gym and he had to stay in the child care, but by 2.5, we were golden! And I'm SO GLAD I did everything I did because at almost 7, he is the most social little boy you will ever meet!!! Goes off to school without any fuss, etc.

I like the suggestion of keeping it positive instead of trying to reassure him all the time! I also like the suggestion to get a book or two on normal child development. Reading the books could be something you and your husband do together after your son has gone to bed for the evening or maybe even at other snatches in the day. It could help bond you and bring you closer not only as a couple but as parents with more similar approaches than you have now.

And try to impress upon your husband that while some crying is normal and not unhealthy, he needs to do HIS part as well. Instead of standing outside the bathroom door waiting for you to be done, he should've taken him to play and talked to him like, "No worries, little guy. She'll be back in a few minutes. Do you want to play blocks?" And ENGAGE him in an activity. Maybe even take him outside and watch the wind blow through the trees (that never failed to fascinate my two!!!).