My Daughter Only Wants Me...

Hopefully it is just temporary...I am dealing with the same issue with my 7 month old son. He cries when I leave too. I think the only thing you can do is continue to expose her to other people and wait until she outgrows this stage.

Hi L.,
It's normal. Not necessarily pleasant, but normal. If you're home with your baby all day, she expects you to always be there. "Giving in" is about your need for control and that's not what the situation is about.
Is your baby upset because she sees you leaving? What happens if daddy takes her out of the house? What would happen if you were out and daddy came home with her, and she wouldn't see you leaving? Try different things and hopefully she'll grow out of it soon.

L. --

I feel your pain. My daughter was the same way, to the point where I had to get up at 5:00 AM to take my shower while she was still sleeping because otherwise she'd be pounding at the door screaming for me to come out the entire time. On the one hand, it's good to see your daughter so attached to you. On the other hand, it makes your life extremely difficult. I hope other moms can offer some real advice. In my situation nothing we tried worked, and all we could do was wait patiently until our daughter grew out of that phase.

Although you didn't mention how your husband feels about this, please let him know it has nothing to do with him. My husband used to feel very hurt when our daughter cried for me the entire time she couldn't see me. Your daughter is simply more attached to you right now. All children go through a period where they prefer one parent over another, and the excluded parent should remember not to take it personally.

Our daughter did eventually grow out of that phase, and at nearly ten years old she's still very close to me. Not to the point where she can't be without me, of course, but she confides in me and actually enjoys hanging out with me while her peers are starting to reject their parents because it's not "cool".

Have patience...one day you'll look back on this time in your daughter's life and realize it was the easy part.

My daughter has been that way since like 6 months, and is now 13 months. She'll cry for hours straight sometimes. I try to expose her to different people, and she is fine with my husband when I'm not home, but only wants me when we both are, and we have gotten her used one babysitter but when I'm home she screams to be held by me. I try not to make a big deal about coming and going, don't drag it out, just kiss and go. It's normal, I just tell myself to enjoy being wanted so much, because one day when she's a teen she'll want nothing to do with me! She's learning her whole world from you, and she's learning trust from knowing you're always there for her.

With that said, it's hard to deal with I know, just tell yourself it won't last forever, and one day you'll miss it dearly.

Your daughter is experiencing separation anxiety, which is completely developmentally appropriate, as a result of another developmental milestone: object permanence. This means that she realizes that you exist when you are not there; before it was "out of sight, out of mind," but now she has the ability to think about you when she does not see you. This is an important step in her intellectual development, though it happens to overlap with her social/emotional development in a frustrating way because it makes her upset to be without you. However, this is also an indication that she has formed a strong, secure attachment with you. So even though this is frustrating for everyone involved, know that it is because she has successfully achieved important milestones in her development. Play peek-a-boo and other hide-and-seek games that give her a little bit of control as to when you disappear and reappear. Also, never leave without saying good-bye, even though the good-bye will be difficult for her. Here's a little more info on separation anxiety:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_separation-anxiety_145.bc?sho...

Good luck!

I had the same problem when my daughter was 4 or 5 months old and I posted a request here. One person told me to try to gradually leave because your baby knows that you will meet her needs but she's not sure that others will. I was told to spend time with Daddy and Baby and then leave the room after a little while. Being together will show your daughter that Daddy is kind of like an extension of you. He can do whatever you can. I did this a few times and it started to get better. I gradually left for longer periods of time. I was still in the house but in a different room. Then I started trying to leave the house for an hour. It took about a month but then she seemed to have no problem with staying with anyone familiar (Daddy, Grandmas and Grandpas, Aunts). She just turned 1 and still has no problems with me leaving. In fact, she usually wants Daddy instead because she doesn't see him as often!

I think babies think mom is an extension of them, meaning you and her are one. And if you're out of her sight that causes her fear hence the crying spells. Mine did the same. It lessens as time goes by. So, no real solution until that happens unless you're ok with leaving her cry during the time you're gone. I was not, I didn't even go grocery shopping without my kids. The only time I did leave them with dad was when I had to go to doctor appointments.
Good luck

What is she like when you leave her with other people?(As in leave the house for say, an hour)My son cried with my mother-in-law which really hurt her feelings and finally my husband and I had her visit when I would not be home for a few hours. My husband also said it worked out well when he had some alone time with our son.

This behavior is very typical from a developmental standpoint. Your daughter is very aware of who takes care of her and that's you!

I would suggest leaving her for short periods of time with a sitter or another trusted person aside from her father. Just run to the store by yourself or some other "non urgent" errand. As much as it is painful to hear her cry, she needs to get accustomed to having others care for her.

Daddy will likely "cave in" and call you to come home. Ask a close friend or another trusted and patient person to help. Explain what you are trying to do and ask them to stay with her for 30 minutes or so. She will likely scream when you leave and then will likely calm down after a few tries.

Good luck!

I hate to tell you this but my son is almost 23 months old and STILL only wants me! I'm not sure they ever grow out of it!
Lynsey