Help! 2 1/2 Year Old Constantly Hitting Other Kids

My son is 3. Sometimes he hits and pushes his little sister (2 y.o.). We use timeouts and talk alot about feelings - when you push Megan it makes her sad and sometimes it hurts her, etc. I also am quick to praise him when he is gentle with her and gives her hugs. We talk about how that makes her happy and how it is the right way to treat someone. It seems to be working pretty well. He comments when he notices people are happy, sad, or mad. He says, "Poor Megan. Let me kiss your booboo" when she gets hurt. He seems to be trying to please others.

My son isn't in a daycare or other group setting without me, so I haven't faced your particular issue. But I wonder if he is acting out in response to something. Has he been in daycare for a while or is this a relatively new arrangement? Does he have a new teacher at the daycare? Has anything changed at home that he could be responding to?

Good luck!

Hi S.,

I really don't have any advice on this. We are going through it with my second child who is the same age as your little one. All I can say is that it seems to be just a phase. My oldest is almost 4yrs old and he went through the same thing. He grew out of it although since we brought the new baby home there seems to be some regression but I think it has more to do with the new baby than anything else. The only thing I can say is just keep doing what you are doing and with any luck he will grow out of it.

Sorry I couldn't be more help.
A.

maybe he is exhibiting this behavior because he feels overwhelmed by the new room and the older kids and can not express this in any other way than hitting etc because he is verbally not able to express himself? Only a thought... You might want to try and observe him on the down low at school so you can really see what is happening and then at home take the appropriate steps to change the behavior. Good luck!

I am going through the same thing with my daughter who is a little over 2 1/2. Along with the scratching, hitting, and pulling of hair she also bites!! It was quite embarrassing the other day when I came to pick up my little "angel" and my 9mth old son, when her teacher said to me "why didn't you tell me that your daughter bit your son?" I had no idea what she was even talking about until she showed me not one, but two bite marks on my son's arm. We do the same thing as what daycare does, and that' s putting her in timeout and taking away privileges. I try to stay strong by telling myself that it is just a stage and they will grow out of it. Now, if they still have this problem in high school, we have a problem!!! Good luck. I'm sure our little "angels" will get it into their heads soon.

S.,
My son Ethan, almost 3, was also recently hitting at daycare. It will pass. I know it kinda hurts to hear that your kid is the behavior problem, but its developmentally normal. He may not have enough words to express what he is feeling yet, even if he is a great talker. Just keep reminding him of the no-hitting rule, remind him to use his words or help him find the right ones to express what he is feeling, and to use "nice hands". Also, be consistent with consequences. In our house, hitting of any kind results in time-out. And make sure that you and the daycare are sending consistent messages. Once again, it will pass, so be consistent, and dont stress it too much.