Help! - Wesley Chapel,FL

My daughter is almost 3 and she does the same thing, not to a stuffed animal though. She humps the floor. She hasn't been doing it as much as she used to so there's hope they'll grow out of it.

She's never seen us having sex either and the only thing she watches on TV is Nick Jr and Disney Channel.

Have you tried telling him not to do that, and making it clear that is not how people are supposed to act?

my daughter went thru the same stage at 3. it freaked us out at first but i know its natural i asked her ped about it. my now 3 yr old youngest has started touching herself and i just tell her to move her fingers and put on pants, will it stop it no but my fear isn't her touching herself its she might give herself an infection with dirty fingers :/

Hi D....
Was just curious of the answers because my son is 20 months and I fear boy stuff sometimes. Plus I thought it was neat that I am K. T., my daughter is Alyssa and will be 5yrs in March and my son is Zachary and he will be 2 in May.

Good luck!

When I was a child I humped many things
(pillows, sheets, large bean bags, etc) for many years, from about 7 yrs old to 12 yrs old. I still to this day do not know how or why I started. My younger sister started doing it too, and I thought it was because she saw me and I always regretted that. Other than my sister knowing, I kept it a secret because I was not sure what was going on or why, I just knew that I bascailly needed to "relieve" myself, although what I now know as "feeling horny" I do not think that is what I felt as a child.
I recently read an article in, I believe Parents magazine, with a 5 yr old girl would masterbate (they did not say how she would), but she would always go to her room and do it and come out. The therapist said it is normal, and the parents should not worry unless it changes her behavior or makes her chose that instead normal activities like playing.
I do not if it would be the same advice or little boys or not. But I do think it is to a degree natural, but there can be boundaries as well. Watch him and keep track of how much and maybe something happens to make him want to do it and stuff, as well as research the topic. and if you are still concerned, talk to an expert.

I have a 9yr old boy and around that age he did the same thing, except it wasn't mickey mouse, it was Odie *the dog from garfield*. I asked him what he was doing and he said what the "doggies at the park " where doing. apparently on an outing with my mother he had seen some dogs displaying dominance issues at the park. I explained to him that little boys don't do that because it's rude when he gave me a blank stare I showed him what he looked like...when he realized how (his words not mine) Dumb he looked he stopped. It may be a sign that he's ready for big boy pants and going potty in a urinal when you go out as a family.

At this age children absorb all they see. You said he has not seen you and your spouse. It's a possibility that you have watched a movie where the child was either sitting in with you or happen to walk in while this sort of scene was going on. Need to be very mindful around them and to songs and movies viewed by them.

I have been watching my grandson during the day since he was born. I am finding out that boys really are a different breed. I am learning alot. He just turned 2 in October, & has been doing the "humping" for a little while now. He only seems to do it when he wakes up from a nap. I don't make a big deal about it, and distract him with something else to do. Within a few minutes he needs a diaper change or lets me know he has to use the potty. Good luck

Sorry no advice, but I too have a three yr old son. Wow, is that what i have to look forward to next! And I thought the whole "shut up" and spitting phases were bad. Well if I see you out somewhere and he starts doing it I will just give you a knowing and understanding smile. Boys, they are such a joy and so full of surprises for mommy!!!

T.

I agree with Donna 100%. It is very normal. Some children just seem to be more aware of themselves than others. I have a friend whose 3 yr old boy humps a stuffed duck every day. My boys (I have 3) have never humped things. The baby is almost 1 and every time his diaper is off he's trying to play with it. So he could be the humper. Who knows.
It was shocking the first time I opened a diaper on my oldest boy and saw a baby boner. But you get used to it and learn to not open the diaper right after they wake up unless they really need it changed. It's totally normal for them to get erections. It means their hormone levels and brain are functioning correctly. It's a part of life. Nothing to do with sex... until they're teenagers!
Don't sweat the 3 yr old stuff. Try to not make a big deal out of it. Act like you don't even see him doing it. Maybe you will want to put Mickey on a shelf??

D.,

My son starting the humping thing at 6 months old. i asked te doctor and was told "they do it because it feels good" and not to make a big deal about it. he has been putting his hand down his pants and playing with it and squeezing his little sack since he was 2. i asked the doctor again and was told the same thing - it feels good so they do it; nothing sexual about it. when he was like 5, he started playing with it when we had company and i had to go to the rule, "it's ok in the bedroom in private - but not out in public or where other people are around"

he seems to have out grown the playing and squeezing thing. now he's 10 and he likes to hit himself there. i don't know why - i guess it feels good. we still have the same rules - in private.

my doctors tell me that there nothing sexual to worry about till they hit teen years - then they discover girls and that's a whole nother ordeal to contend with.

relax - he's a normal little boy. you may have to set boundaries. like it's ok in private but not outside your room.

When my daughter was 3, she had an infection which caused her to discover parts previously left alone. For 3 months, she humped across the carpet at various times especially when tired. It was very humiliating at times but it did pass. We were very careful to calmly redirect her without calling a lot of attention to what was happening. We didn't want her to think it was bad so we just tried to be neutral, redirect, and then praise her for something else. You may want to check with your physician to make sure there is nothing wrong. My daughter got an infection from wearing her bathing suit too much.

My oldest just turned 4 a few days ago and he's done that for a while too. He's potty trained and I noticed that he likes to touch himself (masturbate) when he doesn't have anything else to do or gets bored. So I started asking him if he needs to go potty. If he says no, then I just tell him to leave his pee pee alone. Most of the time all it takes is me asking if he has to pee. If he doesn't, he seems to realize that he's "playing" and he lets go. I don't ever make a big deal about it. I don't want him to be embarrassed, but I want him to realize that's not something mommy wants to see. Anyway, hope that helps :)
Jen

Hi D.,
Most likely this is normal behavior, but I would gently take the toy away when he does it, and distract him to something else - especially if he does it outside his own bed/bedroom. Without saying much, if anything, beyond, "Come on honey, let's go play..." or "Come help Mommy..." Some kids are quite sexual once they discover the sensations; some are lonely; and some unfortunately have been abused.

So, as a caution only, if this is a brand new behavior, different from anything else he's ever done, think about who he's been with lately - anybody new? Anybody he suddnely doesn't like? New nursery school or daycare?

If this behavior continues, you could also check in with his pediatrician, who has known him, for suggestions.

M.

A child I babysit does this. She only does it when shes constipated! We dont know why, but the Ped said to not to worry about it. And dont give im TOO MUCH ATTENTION for doing it, that will just bring it on when you least want it to!

Yes totally normal to children that young it is not a sexual thing its just a discovery made of something feeling good. Its just your job to explain in the right way for them to understand why he doesn't do it or at least for now I guess in front of people??? I take it as the same as a baby feeling themselves after all he is still somewhat of a baby. My one year grabs himself any chance he gets and pokes himself with his toy boats in the bath, for them its totally new. Also every caregiver in my family has a story of when their young child used to get caught doing something like this, even my mother as embarassing as it is too admit it was a large bear. My husbands mother said for him it was the floor so everything I know about it yes totally normal. I wish I had some advice on how too handle but unfortunately I don't you've got me wondering how I will handle when this day comes for me.

D.,

Relax, it's normal. Boys have erections in the womb and it's perfectly natural. I have a 5yr old and a 3yr old, if they could, they'd go pantless every day of their lives! It's just natural, your Zachary has just sort of figured out that it feels good, it's got nothing to do with you or him seeing sex. I would just distract him when he does it, don't make a huge deal or he'll think it's shameful and then you open a whole other can of worms. ;-) so to speak. So, deep breath, relax. As soon as they "find" it, it seems like they never let go!
D.

P.S. I'm a therapist, so what I've explained has been researched. ;-)