Having to Repete Yourself over Adn Over

Consequences and rewards. If you Do do what is asked during the week, on the weekend you will get X (i.e. extra tv time, computer, cell phone, etc.). If you DON'T do what is asked, you will lose X (same stuff as rewards). Then stick to it.

Change is hard for all of us. Put that with the promise of warmer weather and we all get a little less focused.

Why don't you go to the store with them (even the dollar store) and buy things to make each of them a schedule they can keep in their room. Let them get stickers and markers, whatever they want to decorate it. Then sit down together and talk about the importance of doing things on time. Make sure they also have a clock they can read in their room. Then, instead of repeating yourself you can just have them check their schedule. Just like us, kids don't like being nagged so put the responsibility on them.

Have a FAMILY MEETING and SET HOUSE RULES. Put them on the fridge and/or wherever need to as a reminder. Make sure to INCLUDE the consequences of disobedience. Let the kids be in on that, that way when it comes times to reap the consequences, you can remind them that THEY were part of the rule making process.

EVERYONE needs boundaries. Problem is, many times, they don't know what they are until they are broken. Talk about what is fair and remind them that you ARE in charge but you want to respect them and allow them to have some say in the family rules and boundaries.

Don't forget to have another meeting in 4-6 weeks to talk about how they are working and adjust them if need be.

These kids are certainly old enough to have some input.

First of all stop repeating yourself. Unless there is some reason they might not be able to hear you, like a loud noise of some sort, don't repeat. I had the same issue with my kids. So I would say it once, when ignored, I would say their name and ask them what I said. 99% of the time, they told me EXACTLY what I said. I told them to then either do it or get grounded. After I started asking and found out they heard me to begin with, I gave them a couple of minutes to do it, if they didn't I grounded them or took away something they really liked for a day or two. If it continued, I didn't give stuff back and took more things away. When they listened and did it without having to be ask or told again, I gave something back. They learn pretty quick if you take away their prize possessions! Good Luck!

12 yo girl and 10 yo boy in my house are the same way. I remember someone told me about toddlers that you need to say something 850 times and that seems to be repeating itself now - lol.
I think the best thing to do (and it is not easy) is to let them learn from their mistakes.
Can you talk to them about what needs to be done (and why) and come to an agreement with them? If they have input it might work better (Mom, I can't do this chore on Monday because I have homework and sports that day; can I do it on Wednesday?). Consequences for not meeting their agreement need to be a part of the "contract" as well, and maybe you outline what your responsibilities are also, so they see the big picture. This is what I am trying.

I have had the same experience with my children. At a teacher training workshop the presenter talked about teachers who repeat and reoeat insructions etc. I thought that if it worked in the classroom why not at home. I initiated a family meeting and explained to my children that as of that day I would only remind them or give them instuctions one time. I would not, from that day on repeat myself over and over again. I made a chore chart for each of them and a general chart for the fasmily as a whole. Chores were changed around every week so that no one got stuck with the worst chore every week but everyone ha a turn. If chores were not completed there were consequences. No friends over, no outside activity etc until chores were completed. I had to stay on my toes but after awhile it became part of out family life. Bedtimes were set and the children were expected to get themselves to bed on time. I did some form of tuck in and night prayers even when they thought they were too big for that. Not going to bed on time resulted in an earlier bed time the next night. One child who fought the rules found himself in bed right after school. My point was that I cannot make you go to sleep but I can make you stay in your bed. The problem righted itself after the walk in and go to bed night. I had to remember to say what I meant and mean what I say. Consitency paid off in the long run.

We moved alot... but our home routine was predictable. I used a chart that we checked off daily... allowance was based on earning it. The chart is especially useful to little ones like the 7yo - a visual reminder that they will take pride in checking off daily and in time it will become routine.

The 13yo is another story... why this one is not already in a routine is questionable. Maybe being lumped in with a 7yo as if she isn't a more mature individual? (That would bother me.) Maybe, if a girl... beginning of menustration and that difficult transition? Maybe repressed anger at being taken away from the people teens value most - their friends? Maybe subconsciously feeling that you don't listen to me... why should I listen to you?

I don't know... but am able to glean a bit of information about you by the way you express yourself.
"I need some suggestions on how to get them to listen and do what is expected of them."
You didn't ask how to achieve better communication with your children or be a better listener, but rather a better dominator. Communication is a two way street, even if they're children.

Your children are uncomfortable, which is to be expected with a new move. They simply want your attention, and that's not to say you don't give it to them already, they just want more; they have a need to be reassured of the stability of their mother because having moved, the stability of what used to be their home is teetering until they become comfortable in the new place. Take out an hour after school to sit down and play a game with them or even just talk about how their days went. If this is something you already do, think about the things that you want them to do each day after school and tape a note on their respective bedroom doors. Now you don't have to have ANY negative communication. They come home, see the note, put up their stuff, hang out with mom for a bit and get their work done. At the end of their chores if they've completed them successfully, have some sort of positive reinforcer lined up - a movie, cookies, or a craft you can do together. Don't worry, your kids are normal and you're doing fine, they're just kids and you'll never go a week without a new problem. I think the key is to just sit down, close your eyes, breathe, and think "what are the little things I can do to fix this?". Most of the time, the little things mean the most, especially to our children. Hope this helps!

Go back to the parenting you did when they were toddlers. When you tell them something start by saying, "Listen to my words".. Then state your request or direction.

Or have them repeat what you said. "What did I just ask you to do?"

Also have then answer you with yes, mom" or Yes, mam so that you know they heard you.. Same goes for you so that it is a habit, If they tell you something or ask for something respond with "yes, thank you." or "No thank You. "

Hang in there mom..

Make a chart for their chores.Make sure the chores are conducive for each of their ages.If the chores are not completed let them know what the consequences will be make a chart for that also.Always follow through.Consistency is the key.Be the parent.Show no fear.With the teen ,if you have to take game,phone,activities TV. Do not repeat youself,they are use to it.Tell them one time, when they dont follow through take something away.Know that teenage girls will give you the business (LOL)Good luck and stay strong.