Having Babies Close Together

my children are 8mos., 23mos, 3,4,6,7,9. I love them so close. They are always learning new things to do. I have my almost 2 year old getting potty trained because her sisters do it why not her. It is so much fun. Plus the clothes are still in style the next year when the next sister wears them. For me I have had a baby in my house for a long time. Just sit back and remember that life will be so much fun. Having young children is great.

Hi B.! I have a 4 yr. old, a 3 yr. old and a 1 yr.old. My first were 12 mos. apart and then I had our 3rd baby when the second was 2. I am now expecting our fourth and our oldest will be 4.5yrs. I LOVE having them close - less to forget (like when to start solids, weening, etc.) It's funny because the last 2 picked up things sooooo much quicker than my first just by having another child to watch. It is a TON of work, I won't lie about - especially the first year. But now they are all so close to each other. The BEST of friends. They fight, but what siblings don't. I doubt that any of them will have very many memories that don't include their siblings...They will always know the happiness and "frenzy" of family. Get your rest as you will need it. Include your son in all you can with the newborn and constantly remind him how much his new brother/sister loves him. He'll love him/her because that's all he'll know...Best of luck. You'll all do just fine.

Congratulations on your second child. My girls are 14 months apart also. Actually 14 months and 6 days if you ask my oldest, LOL. It was hard the first few weeks. My mom actually took my oldest and the first week my youngest was home she would come every day and make lunch and dinner and take my oldest home with her at night. It was very helpful. My husband was working and it was very overwhelming to have two in diapers. My oldest didn't like when I BF my youngest and made it difficult, but after a while understood better. She wasn't sure why my attention was on her little sister and not her. If you can get throught the first few weeks you'll be okay. You'll get a routine down and that will be very helpful. Have your oldest "help" with the baby, it will help you more also. My girls are very close now, even though they are total opposites. They are best friends as well as sisters and look out for each other. They do fight and argue over things, but in the end they love each other and support each other. I don't know if any of this will be helpful to you, but I wanted to let you know, it will be okay. Even on those days you want to strangle your kids becuase they've done something you've told them not to twenty times already...you will survive. Good luck and God Bless.

My boys were 14 months apart. I think I slept lots the first two years. When they laid down - I did. I had too. Benefits are they keep each other company quite a bit. They speak their own lanquage almost. It's so wierd how they will use jibberish and laugh and laugh like they know what was said.
Try to let them each find the things they are good at so they don't get molded together. And then one falls into the path of the other.
The bad part is: I constantly hear my almost 17 yar old son say "why" this "why" that "how come he gets too?" blah, blah, blah... about the almost 18 year old. They have fought constantly and then been the best of friends. It has been the most rewarding and challenging thing in my life. And I have done it for the last 12 years alone - so it should hopefully go smoother for you and your hubby.
Enjoy every moment - it's all over soooo fast.

God Bless,
L.

That is the age difference of mine now 4 and 3. I must admit the first year was a bit of a blur, but I wouldn't trade it. The kids now play together so well and enjoy all the same activities. You and your husband will do just fine as long as you are in it together. Make sure if you can to continue date nights out and time away individually frequently. Just an hour at the book store can do wonders. Good luck and enjoy!

My oldest two girls are 15 months apart. It was hard for me when I first found out I was pregnant with my second. I wasn't sure if I was cheating my oldest out of some alone time with my husband and myself. I thought how could I love another person as much as I love this little girl. Well, all my fears were squashed w/in moments of having our second girl. It was hard at first having two babies at the same time. At 15 months they still need lots of attention and care. We involved our oldest in tasks and made her feel like an important person and caretaker of her little sister. No one could make #2 laugh like our oldest could. They are 10 and 11 now and the best of friends. I wouldn't change a thing. We have two more girls 8 and 6 and it's such a lively, dramatic, fun, caring, loud house. I wouldn't change it for anything!

I had mine 14 months apart, 40 some years ago. My oldest, a boy, didn't walk until he was 15 months old so going places alone was a challange. I had a 3 year old also who carried the blanket and bottle. They entertained each other and were very close growing up. And still are. Our third was our happy little surprise, who is one of the sweetest people I have ever known. I love surprises!!!!

You'll do fine and have a lot of happiness ahead of you.

Hi B.,
I have two little girls that are 15 months apart and I couldn't be happier with them close together in age. My first was 15 months when my second was born and at that time my husband was deployed to Iraq. I raised them by myself for the next 15 months. I really wasn't so bad..you just do what you have to do to make it. My older child loved having a baby in the house. Although my second WOULD NOT ever take a bottle or a binky...which made life a little harder, but not impossible. Ask for help if you need it....you have your husband there too, which will help. My two girls are 3 and 4 now and the best of friends. They are excited too that we are expecting another baby girl this summer! Good Luck!
PS....get away for a little while (by yourself or with friends) every now and then!

I have 3 kids that are withing 32 months of each other. My 4 year old daughter and my 2 3/4 year old girl are 17 months apart and then they have a 18 month old brother that is 15 months apart from my 2 3/4 year old girl.

Sleep when you can, try to spend some alone time with both. We read books to each of our kids seperately. We have days out with mom or dad alone.

So far it has been good. They have someone to play with and they are very close.

Good luck,
M.

My 2 are 14 months apart as well (3 months and 17 months). We have really enjoyed it. Many people told me having them close was a good strategy if you had support during the first couple years. Friends and family members reported that keeping them close would keep them in similar developmental stages and they would play well together. Of course initially that is not true as they change so much which they are little, so I truly did not anticipate them appreciating each other so much at this age. They love playing together. When we do things as a family, it works very well of course. Granted when I have an errand with both of them, it is a little more work for me, but a double stroller really helps (or stroller/carrier combo). My sis and I were close and we we more like friends as I look back, so I am happy to think my children may have that too!

As for preparation, my son has really enjoyed baby sign (signingtime.com is a great resource) and uses over 30 signs. His ability to communicate his needs is very helpful, so it may be something that you find useful as well. Either way, I hope you enjoy your blessings!

Great advice our pedi gave us (no matter how close/far apart your kids our)... spend 15 minutes a day alone with your oldest child (and for your husband to do the same). We saw a big difference with our daughter when we did this. She was two when our son was born and was feeling a little lost since her baby brother was getting a lot of attention. Congratulations!

Mine are 18 months apart and I felt a little overwhelmed as well until my second arrived. I have one girl, who is now 3, and my one boy, who is now 20 months. They are inseparable and I love how close they are. I have noticed that my son picks up on anything that his big sister does, he has a very broad vocabulary, he can count to 10, and he can say his ABC's all the way to "G" and I think it is because he is learning from her and wants to keep up with her. He even insists on going into the bathroom with us for "potty time" and he seems interested in the potty himself, but I don't think that he is ready just yet, he freaks out when I set him on the pot after she is done. It is wonderful though to see them so close and being friends. One thing that I did when we first brought my son home was made sure that my daughter was included on anything that she wanted to be included on. Like I would ask her if she wanted to help me feed the baby, play with the baby, feed the baby, etc. Sometimes she would want to, other times she just wanted her own playtime, I always tried to make sure that she was included with things so that I could still have time to spend with her as well.

Schedules, routines, good friends with kids, and snacks at the ready! The worst was knowing that your oldest will be hungry just as the second needs a diaper change and will then be ready to nurse. Once your oldest knows the schedule and knows the routine, they will be a big help to you.
Also, a Baby Bjorn or other good baby carrier will be a good friend for you. We use one stroller that our oldest normally goes in, and we have our youngest in the baby carrier. He falls asleep in it really well, and then we don't have to move him the whole time we are out. Plus, it frees up my hands to play with the oldest. Sometimes I really needed a change of scenery, and it helped with my mood and with the kids' activity levels. Plus it gave them both something different to look at.
One more thing that really helped me/helps me is a nursing cover. Mama au Lait and Hooter Hiders are good ones. That way, if you're planning on nursing, you can do it any time, any where and be covered well. Plus, the oldest can't take it off. (BONUS!)
We also asked the oldest to help with the youngest as much as he can (give the baby a toy, throw the diaper away, tell the baby "It's okay," give mommy the blanket, etc.) That way he feels like a big boy and he can be a good help to us, too.
Good luck! It really does get better as they get a little older.

Hello and congratulations!I just wanted to offer a quick response to your question. I have 3 children, and my two oldest ones (little girls) are only 11 1/2 months apart. It was a huge adjustment and was pretty tough in the beginning. I used to tell my husband, "that the 1st year would be the hardest" and then things would get easier. I was right. They are now about to turn 3 and 4, and they are best friends. They play so well together, and my 2nd one has learned things so much quicker b/c of her big sister. She talked early, and walked early, and also was potty trained at 2, b/c she wanted to sit on the big girl potty like her big sister. So, there are definitely perks to having your children close. I would recommend having your children on a schedule. That was the 1st thing that my mom told me to do when i had my children, make them have a routine, and stick with it. It definitely helps. Also, I would try really hard to have the older one bottle broke b/4 your new arrival. The last thing that you want, is 2 babies on a bottle at once. Also, i spent so much time with both babies on my lap at the same time. I was obsessed with making sure that my oldest one never felt left out. I now have a 3rd little one (a one week old little boy), and we are still sticking to our routine as much as possible. Good luck and enjoy those babies!

Hi B.,

I am going through this right now! My girls are 16 1/2 months apart...19 months and 2 1/2 months. I agree with previous posts...the first couple of weeks were the hardest. My mom stayed with us for a week to help out and my oldest daughter didn't seem to want much to do with me at first...which with the hormones from just giving birth, the lack of sleep, and being worried that she would be "mad" at my for bringing another baby home, it was rough. Then as soon as my mom left and it was just the girls and I during the day while my husband was at work, she realized that things would be ok and we got into a routine. Now she is really good at entertaining herself (although she was ok at it before) so when I need to feed the baby or do something else she is fine to play with her toys for a little bit and know that I'll be back. :) Now that my youngest has started sleeping all night and I'm starting to feel like myself again (sleep is amazing!!) I am so excited to have them so close together (we did plan it though) and wouldn't trade it for anything! Best of luck and please let me know if you ever want to talk!

Sincerely,
R.

Get a super comfy rocking chair! Our girls are 19 months apart, not my idea. I was stressed out the whole pregnancy with the second one. Luckily I have a wonderful MIL who had 3 in 3 years who just keep telling me that I could handle it. She always said you just do what you have to do. Now, I wouldn't change it for anything. My girls play so well together and they are so cute to watch. I know they will always be close. I think my biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to give the older one the attention she needed. Sometimes I still feel that way but she is a trooper and yours will learn how to adjust as well. There are lots of times that I have two babies asleep in my lap at once but I charish those moments. It was long before I had both going down for naps at the same time and this has been my lifesaver. Let your little guy be your helper and don't be afraid to let him be close to the baby.

Hi B.,
I am in the same boat, except mine will be 11 months apart!!! My daughter is 9 months old and I'm 7 months pregnant with baby boy!! AAHHH!!! For me, it's been a little stressful. My daughter has become very active over the last month, crawling and pulling herself up, and she's wearing me out because I'm pregnant. Sometimes I just feel like she's getting the short end of the stick. I mean, I can't even rock her to sleep now because my tummy is too big and it hurts my back. For the most part, my husband is a huge help. I just keep praying for the strength to get through this (because there are days where all I want to do is cry!!). Anyway, a good friend of mine, who had her babies 12 months apart, told me that once her oldest was out of diapers, it was much easier. We'll see!! Good luck to you and your family! 10 more weeks (and counting) for me!!
S.

It's not as hard and overwhelming as it sounds right now! I had 3 kids within 29 months of each other :) I love it! I love how close they are. (They're 5,4,3 now). I once had someone ask me if it's harder going from baby #1 to baby #2 or from #2 to #3. I think the hardest is having your first. Getting used to less (or no) sleep, learning how to take care of a baby all the time, changing a million diapers, getting used to all the nasty things that come out of babies, etc. Be sure to spend as much time with your first one, when the second one is here, while the baby sleeps; that way he will see that the baby is here to stay- but that he didn't get replaced. You'll figure it our naturally... it's part of that whole 'mother's intuition' thing :) The nice thing about having them so close together, too- is that your oldest won't be old enough when the new baby is born, to feel jealousy! So, he'll just love the baby, too! After age 2 (sometimes I think it's a little earlier) they feel jealous and can act out toward you and/or the baby. You shouldn't have to deal with a lot of those issues. Just enjoy them both!

My boys are 13 months apart. When we found out i was pregnant with the second and our first was only four months old i was very overwhelmed. but now that they are 2 and 3 i wouldn,t change it for anything. Sometimes it will be challenging but im sure that you will do great and in the end you will be grateful. good luck and god bless.

Hi B.. I have a 3 yr-old boy, a 2-year old girl, and a newborn! You just do what you have to do. Some days it's so hard and stressful and you are so TIRED all the time, but you get through it. And I am so happy to have them close together as crazy as it is. They are best friends. Let me tell you though, if you were ever used to sleeping in, that's just not going to happen anymore. I average abuot 4-6 hours of sleep at night, and sometimes interrupted because one of my kids needs something. FLU SEASON is THE WORST. and colds too.... the entire family comes down with it and that's especially hard on momma when I'm sick trying to take care of other sick ones.

Oh and your house will never look picture perfect with so many little ones, but just know that if you try your best, there's nothing more you can do but your best. People understand when they come over that my house is not going to look like a magazine picture with so many kids.

God bless,
S.

My two oldest (now almost 20 and 19) are 11 months 2 weeks apart. You will be fine :) My advice is to get a double stroller!!!! You can put the oldest child up front and lay the newborn down in the back. Also, be prepared that when one is going out of a phase the other is going into it. I also gave my son, the oldest, a baby doll (he was 3 months old) and immediately started with hold the baby, love the baby, give kisses to the baby, etc. so by the time he was almost a year old and she came along it wasn't such a shock to him. He was still the baby too, of course. OH, and the country song, "Don't Blink", its true.

Good luck and God Bless :)

We have a four year old, three year old and a 17-month old. It just gets better with time, or they wear you down....not sure which.

Our oldest are 13-months apart. It was a bit of a shock when my oldest was 4 months old and the nurse told me I was pregnant. That was after two failed pregnancy tests at home. Our oldest two are very close. They fight like all brothers and sisters, but are really good friends.

I agree with taking time to spend with each separately. They really enjoy 'me' time with mommy and daddy.

I didn't notice my emotional mood swings until the third. That was my hardest pregnancy from an emotions stand-point. My patience was worn thin, and it showed with how I dealt with the kids and my husband. I found taking Sam-e helped with my moods.