Have'nt I Been Generous Enough, Shes's My Baby!

Where is daddy in all this? What does he say? It's his mother. Why doesn't he talk to her and help to understand that mother and baby shouldn't be seperated for these long periods of time?

I'd go and get my child and it would be cold day in you know where before she ever had unsupervised time with my little one again. Go get that baby and don't even think twice about it!!

Go get her now. This woman is way out of line. Part of me is thinking to call the police non-emergency line and ask about these types of situations. She is NOT the mother, it is NOT her child, and she doesn't get to make the decisions about her primary care.

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Go pick up your daughter - now.

Demand that she bring YOUR child back now. Not tomorrow. Not Wednesday. NOW. I would never be able to find the strenght to be away from my daughter for even a night and she is 19 months. So congrats to you on that but you said it yourself she is your baby and thats that. I wouldnt even ask her to discuss this with you. It would be, either bring her to me NOW or I will come to get her myself and these trips will not happen again
Im sorry this is happening to you

K., there's something weird about this. I just read your original post -- your MIL originally wanted her to come for the entire summer? Or to come LIVE with her? What the heck is this power play?? I think you've been more than accommodating allowing your child who is truly still a baby to go to another state without you. I couldn't do it. I'd be on my way picking up my child right this instant and I'd tell her that next time she comes to YOU to visit her grandchild. She sounds like a bully.

You're being possesive of your daughter? Really? Is that a joke?

This wouldn't fly with me, but of course she would never have gotten my kid for one night let alone a full week if I wasn't comfortable with it. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I would even call her for a head's up that you're on your way, I would just get in the car and go. Show up on her doorstep, knock knock knock, hi there, I'm here to get my sweetie pie, go on in, pack her up, and go on your merry way. You are not starting drama, you're finishing it. Nobody outside of a court of law gets to TELL you when they will take your kid.

I would go pick your daughter up immediately. I would not call to say you are on your way either, as she may decide to take your daughter to visit other family or some other strange excuse to keep her. I would be seriously concerned by your MIL's lack of respect for your wishes and her bizarre need to have your daughter for such a long period of time at such a young age. Honestly, if it were my child it would be a very long time, possibly never, before she was ever allowed to keep her over night again. If she can't respect your wishes on how long she should be away from home, what else will she not respect?

Are freaking kidding me?? Tell that women she is your child you told her she could have for a very specific amount of time, which in my own opinion was far to generous since you weren't even comfortable with that! Her time is up tell her to bring her home or your coming to get her, either way she is coming home!! And if you go get her I say there are no more over night trips until she can learn the boundaries!! I am way protective of my little boy, over protective to most standars, but he is mine and what i say goes. Others have the right to spend time with our children, until they take advantage! Good luck! Let us know how it turns out!

If you let her keep your daughter a few more days she will expect to do what she wants. If you want your daughter home than you need to get her on the orginal agreed upon date.

Go to Baltimore immediately and bring your baby home. Don't let your future MIL ever do this to you and your daughter again. Absolutely outrageous that she would do this! She is being a complete bully and is testing you to see how much she can get away with. Let her know this is the limit and you will not let her steamroll you again. Bring your daughter home and NO future visits to grandma unless you are with her.

Your daughter needs you...especially at 15 months! I would not cave...if she had called and asked for your permission for the extended stay that would be one thing....but telling you that she is keeping her bc she is family until Wednesday...NO! If you don't speak up, she will always take advantage of you. What does your hubby say? This irritates me just reading it! I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! (((hugs)))

I'd go get her. It's wonderful your soon to be MIL wants to spend so much time with her... but as you stated, she's a bit young to be away from Mommy so long.

Why hasn't your fiance spoken up to his Mom for you or offered to get her himself?

Let this be the first of many hard lessons in motherhood in relation to other people and other people's kids and your kid:

YOU are not creating drama when it comes to your child. OTHER people may create drama... but whether it's wading in in the playground, or advocating for her at school, or insisting on a medical eval... you state your case/ lay your boundaries down calmly (as you have already done). then when OTHER PEOPLE argue with you... that is NOT YOU creating drama. That is you DOING WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD.

Furthermore, you child is worth having to deal with other people's drama.

Go get your baby.

Otherwise for every inch you give that mile WILL be taken.

((Note: I know of a few -rare- cases where a grandparent refused to return a child. DO NOT get in a big fight with her or struggle physically for your child. If she won't immediately hand over your daughter, step outside, and call the police. AGAIN, this is NOT drama. Refusing to give a child back to a (sober) parent is kidnapping. You just call 911 and tell them that your mother in law is refusing to give your 1 year old back to you. That you said she could stay with her until Friday, and she's refusing to give her back. That she's saying she's keeping her until Wednesday. That you are standing in their front lawn and that they are denying you access to your own child that you have full custody over. Even if it is TODAY, or YESTERDAY, or the DAY AFTER YOU DROPPED HER OFF... they are legally required to give you back your child the MOMENT you change your mind and want her back now.))

I would go there Right Now and get her !!!!!!!!!! NO WAY

I thought you were going to stay there WITH your daughter?
Get in the car and go get her NOW. Do not call, just go, something is very wrong with this whole situation!!!
If your fiance has a problem with it I would seriously have a problem with him. Your child comes first. Please go get her!

Are you serious? I would be in the car picking up my child like... yesterday! AND it would for sure be the last time that she had ever spent any time at that woman;s home without me. This is ridiculous and bordering on criminal ... has this person never heard of custodial interference? Just because you're related to someone doesn't give you the right to keep their kids as long as you wish.
Go get your daughter now!

Simple. Tell her you miss your daughter and either you're coming to get her or she can bring her back. No explanations needed. You miss her. Go get her. Crazylady will get over it eventually. Especially if you show her you are in charge of your child.

You honestly wouldn't let her keep her until Wednesday would you??? Because then she will probably go for another week. Get your fiance involved in this and go get your child, pronto. Who cares if the lady creates drama!!?? You are being too nice. Stop it.

Just adding one more "Go get her right now" answer in hopes that it gives you courage to know that everybody thinks this is a weird situation. You're the mother! Tell her you are glad she enjoyed her time with the little one but mama bear needs her baby girl back home now. Sorry if she made plans but it's just not going to work out this time. And do talk to your fiance about his mom's inappropriate behavior. Oh, and one more thing, I'm a grandma and I think this is wholly inappropriate.

Do not call. Just get her. If the MIL refuses to let you in the house, have your phone ready to call the police. Do not leave the property, or let her leave until your child is back in your custody.

Tell that woman that she does NOT have the same rights to your child that you do! YOU are her mother and she is JUST the grandmother. She has zero rights and if I were you, I would consider not letting your daughter spend long periods of time with her.
Personally, I would never have allowed a 15 month old be away from me for that long. Go get the baby and granny can deal with it!

Have you left to get her yet? Go!

Go get her! Where the heck is your fiance? He should really be the one putting his foot down with his mother - She is lucky she got to keep her for as long as she has in my opinion. It's not like she is doing you a favor so you and your fiance can honeymoon or go on a vacation or something. I would go today and pick her up early. And I wouldn't call and tell her I was coming either. If she doesn't want to converse with you about changing her plans before she does it, then you don't have to converse with her about changing your plans. She is your kid, you have the final say of what happens with her. You need to make sure that your man is on the same page, and as long as he is - then I really don't think that you need to worry about the drama with his mama.....he can deal with it.

No! Your baby wants to be with you.

This is the moment when you are going to learn how to calmly say "no." When you are calm, yet strong, people will respect you. Even annoying grandmas.

There is nothing for her to "hear." Call her up right this moment, and say, "Hi, mother, or mother-in-law, I'm coming to pick up _____(baby)____." Then go get her. Now. If grandma keeps arguing with you, just say, "No, I'm coming to get her now." And go get her.

I don't know if this woman is your MIL or your mother, but even if it's your mother, your baby has a right to you, and you have a right to your baby. It is better for your baby to be with you, anyway.

And if she still argues with you, ask Victoria T. to hurry up and write her book, "You Had Your F**ing Chance," and give it to grandma.

Go get your baby, NOW. And don't take any grief from grandma.

Go and get her. Your MIL changing the plans last moment like that is scary and out of line (I've seen way too many LMN movies where another family member kidnaps one of the kids). She's your daughter and you get to say when she comes and goes, not your MIL. It MAY cause a little drama, but so what? You're the parent.

My MIL and your MIL sound a lot alike (Judging by this post alone). When my son was born, my BIL had some advice... He's my child, and my say goes. Other people have to learn to live with my decisions.

Go get her. She's your daughter. Dont let grandma push you around.

I'd go get her. I see no reason not to allow her to spend the time with Grandma. But she has no business changing the day she goes back home.

I would go get her, she is yours and you miss her. She was out of line, she may be the grandmother but your the mommy! I hope you do not even get to read this because you left already!

You have a choice. Either go and get your child tomorrow or, let your child stay till wed, but NEVER allow grandma to keep your child again. Be very clear for the reason and include her son in the conversation. She is not trustworthy.

I am married and my mother in law used to pull some last minute switcharoos.. not about keeping our child, but backing out of her promise to watch our child usually during our dire need times. I finally just said no and my husband agreed.

She was pissed, but we explained why.. She had a lot of excuses, so we told her it sounded like it just did not fit into her lifestyle.. She never watched our child again. Her loss.. ..

stop waiting for responses & get in the car......tell Grandma that you had an agreement & you lived up to your end & you owe her nothing

Um, she is YOUR child. Go get her if you have to! Do not let Grandma bully you into getting her own way. That is just ridiculous. Screw the drama! Grandma is in the wrong here.

I would tell your fiance to insist she be home by tomorrow or arranged long visits will not happen again.

Always trust your gut. If you feel uneasy, there is a reason. I agree with everyone. Grandma sounds manipulative and not to be trusted alone with your daughter (ever). Please go get her.

Stop placating others. She is your child, you make the rules and you needn't explain yourself to anyone else. I wouldn't want my older kids 3 and 7 to be out of my sight for a week, let alone a young toddler. Good grief, I never would have said yes. Stop feeling guilty!!

I would go get her! I think you have been nice enough, she is still just a baby at that age one week is a long time. You shouldn't feel guilty about wanting to be with your baby.

Go get her now! You are the mom and you are in charge. My mother would NEVER think to do this nor my MIL for that matter. I wouldn't worry about the drama. Your future MIL should worry about the drama. Where on earth did she get the idea that she had the right to make decisions about your daughter without your consent? You are the one with the rights not her. This whole situation is funny. Doesn't pass the smell test.

Ha, I would tell her eat sh*t and die if she doesn't like it. You already went against what you wanted to in the first place! Get in the car right now and go get your baby!

GO GET HER!! I can't stand to be away from my kids and they are 4, 6, and 8. At that age I wouldn't have let her take her to begin with. Tell your fiance what you are doing and he can support you or pack his bags too. Absolutely unacceptable.

I feel that two weeks is too long for a one year old to be away from mom. At that age, 3-4 days would have been my maximum (and I'm not overprotective). I would go and get her, even before the agreed upon date, never mind the later date. Your MIL has boundary issues and you need to straighten them out. She may have the right to spend time with the baby, but she does not have the right to two weeks of your baby to herself, and she cannot make these decisions, you get to make them. Once you have set a time frame for the visit, she does not have the authority to extend that as if you have no say in the matter. No more visits til the boundary issues are taken care of and MIL understands who the parent is. She may want and enjoy this time with your daughter, but it's too long for the baby to be away from her parents. A two week visit might be fine when she is elementary school aged.

I would remind her that she agreed to bring her home on Friday and you expect your daughter home by "whatever time you agreed on". If she again states that she made plans for her to stay longer, you should tell her that you are sorry she made plans beyond when you stated her visit would be but your daughter still needs to be home on Friday by xx:xx. Then, if you hear that she is not on her way when she would need to be to have her home, let her know that you will not allow such a visit again for a LONG time and will be there to get her shortly and follow through.

She can visit with your child without your child staying with her!

late to the topic... but i agree... one i hope you got her
two hubby needs to address this!

I was still breastfeeding my son when he was that age so no way would I have let him go even overnight. I think you were very generous to let her stay that long. She is your child and she will have plenty of time for these kinds of visits when she gets older. I think you were totally justified.

Please tell me you went and got her!

Grandma wouldn't be keeping my child overnight ever again!!