Hi J. -
Bless you for recognizing the core of your anger. I would also ask if you have been doing any kind of cleansing - commercial or herbal? The liver holds anger and when a person is cleaning, often old angers come to the surface - issues they thought they had dealt with before. It is also possible that your liver is crying out for a cleanse. You can try something mild like Milk Thistle to clean and protect. On a more holistic level, you are absolutely correct in your statement that your children can feel your emotions - and they often act out because they have not had the experience to deal with the strong influence. As a strong LDS family, you may or may not believe in the presence of those that have crossed over. If not, that's perfectly fine. If you do, you can use a simple visualization called "The Chair." Set an empty chair across from you so that you face the empty chair. Close your eyes and imagine your father sitting in the chair across from you. Reach deep inside and tell him everything you didn't get a chance to tell him when he was alive, including how his death has affected you. It is a way to release emotions you may be keeping bottled up because of your own family responsibilities. We often don't take the time to grieve and in holding in strong emotions, we can create physical illnesses in our bodies.
I would suggest you do this when someone else can watch your children and you can be alone - don't hold anything back. Relive old memories - laugh, cry, scream, whatever emotion comes to the surface - let it out. You may feel exhausted afterwards - but you will definitely feel better.
You can use this same exercise for any incident in your past - any experience with any person - as a way of releasing old grudges, angers, sorrows, etc.
Blessings and Happy New Year,
M. M. Ernsberger, HHP
Certified Hypnotherapist
Certified Life Coach
Certified Herbalist