"Hairy" Situation

Personally, I would leave it alone, unless she brings up the subject.

I have been dealing with this since I have had my kids and I am very sensitive about it. I know that if a friend asked me about it, I would probably break down and cry.

I have tried waxing, shaving and plucking and it just grows back the next day. I do not have a medical problem-I am just hairy. So what is a girl to do???? Go on Oprah and get free laser treatment? An extreme makeover? I wish:)

She may have PCOD (polycystic ovarian disease) and excessive hair is one of her symptoms. I have had PCOD since I was a teen, so I know that the hair problem can be embarrassing and frustrating. I am sure she IS aware. However, the degree to which it bothers her is a personal matter. On one hand, she may appreciate help/advice especially if she does have a medical condition or hormonal problem (which can be treated). On the other, she may be very sensitive about the subject, and wouldn't want any attention drawn to it.

One idea might be to bring a magazine that you know already has tips for hair removal in it. Make sure you are alone and out of earshot of other gals/kids so she doesn't feel embarrassed. Start reading the mag, and comment on articles/celebrities topics...then mention the hair removal article and how you struggle with your own facial hair. It will likely put her at ease to talk about herself (knowing she's not alone)....and it can gently open the door to a conversation ;)

Best,
C.

Your friend is not you, or an extension of you, or even a reflection on you. Seems to me it's none of your business unless she's asked for your help. The best thing you can do for yourSelf, and for her, is accept her as she is.

how good of a friend is she. maybeyou can invite her to go with you when you go to the salon or casually mention that you have to go do it when you guys are togehter somewhere. im sure she is aware, there has to be a reason why she doesnt depilate. it jsut depends on how comfortable you are with eachother.

I agree with Katie N.
What is the difference?
She is a "casual friend" maybe she is just a casual friend because you're not looking beyond the facial hair and seeing the beautiful person under there.
We are all beautiful and we are all flawed in some way. She is obviously classy enough not to mention any flaw in your appearance, return the favor.

Yes, this is a very touchy situation. After having children my condition is worse. I try to keep up on it with waxing and tweezing. It's hard to do that. My husband will make a comment here and there and I get pretty upset. You almost have to stay on top of it every two days or so. It can be frustrating for the person with the condition, maybe thats why she hasn't done anything about it. I agree with the lady that mentioned the spa. Maybe you guys can get facials at the Beauty school on a regular basis. You can find a beauty school in your area for cheaper facials. Let the person doing the facial bring it up. I think your friend might be more willing to listen to a professional than a friend. I know I would. When I worked in the salon
I waxed lips and eyebrows, people don't know how nice it is until they have it done. Once she see's the result, she may keep up on it! Save your friendship.
I hope this helps.

Hi F.,

If you are close friends, just ask her. Maybe she doesn't know the best way to go about getting rid of it and is too shy to ask. Or figures you don't know since you don't have any facial hair.

Being open with a friend can really make the friendship grow.

Just like Collen, I have PCOS too. What you your friend is going through is definitely a hormonal imbalance. She might have lack of progesterone in her body that is causing this. But like you said it is a "touchy one". It needs to be held cautiously if you treasure her friendship and don't want to offend her. I myself got hair under my chin when I was pregnant last but i also was taking progesterone in the beginning to sustain the pregnancy. When the pregnancy ended the hair stayed until I had to take progesterone to start my period again then the hair went away. Josie M also had some great advice as well.
Good Luck
J.

Hi F.,
Chances are she is aware.
I went into menopause at 35. Talk about changes! I've always been big on beauty, but when your body fights you sometimes it's easiest to give in and choose your battles.
Yes, now I have HAIR where I've never had it before - and clearly visible to all! 5 years ago I would have been mortified, and would have done ANYTHING to diminish/eliminate/hide it. But at this point I can honestly say I'm just not that concerned about it. With all the changes I've gone through, this one is purely cosmetic and has no impact on my health or happiness. (I'm still very surprised at my own feelings on this, I've was always super-concerned about looks)

If you were close enough friends with her, you probably wouldn't have asked this question. Yes, this could hurt her feelings. Maybe not, but unless you are comfortable bringing this up with her (or drunk! lol) you might want to let her make her own beauty choices. And with all the beauty advice and tips so easily available there's a good chance it's not that important to her either.

since she's just a casual friend you have no right to try to change her or make either of you uncomfortable. Unless you get drunk with her one night and swap beauty horror stories or offer to pluck just a few hairs of her unibrow (i'm assuming she has one if she's so hairy). that way you are not drawing attention to the part that you are uncomfortable looking at (mustache, whiskers and side burns). It will get her to take a good look at herself in the mirror, and spend more time there. She may not see herself the same way others do. Complementing good features is a much easier way to go.

If you know her fairly well, maybe ask if she wants to go with you for a day of pampering at a spa/salon. Tell her you are going to have your lip waxed. You could suggest a girls night-- watch a girlie movie, bleach your mustaches, and polish your nails while you're in front of the TV. Or you could make an offhanded comment about needing to buy something like bleach or wax at the store and see how she reacts. Something like that. If she doesn't seem interested, then maybe it just doesn't bother her. If she's not a very close friend, then I wouldn't make an issue of it because you could wind up hurting her feelings or making her self conscious around you. I hope this helps.