Question About Shaving......

hi C. i havea 14 yr. old daughter and we went with the hair removal cream veet and had great success! it was painless and the hair doesnt grow as fast or as thick. now the muctache i would try bleach because thats one area you dont want to get thicker.

It's really normal and her way of controlling the changes going on in her body that she really CAN'T control.

Why not ask her which she would prefer?

"Honey - I know you want to wax your moustach so I booked an appointment at the spa for a girls day - do you want me to get your legs waxed this first time or try shaving first? We can pick up a razor and some nice shave gel on the way home."

She'll feel listened to and important and you guys might have an awesome time together - get pedicures and have fun!

I was also a child with dark hair on my legs, body, face. I started shaving at 11 years old when the teasing became too much. I have extremely sensitive skin and I've tried just about everything out there - self-help and professional. Here are my recommendations:

1) If you can afford it, take your daughter to a very experienced and reputable laser hair removal technician for both the face and legs. (I'm happy to give a recommendation if anyone needs one.) No razor burn or bumps. Skin reaction is usually gone within 2-24 hours. Legs can often be finished and hairless forever within 6-8 treatments. I wished I'd had this available when I was young. It would have saved decades of insecurity and pain.

2) If you can't afford laser hair removal, I'd say bleach the facial hair. Sally Hansen has a good one. If the hair is minimal, this is much gentler than hair removal and works quite well.

3) For the legs, I'd recommend professional waxing first. (Have some good recommendations for this, too.) Painful for a while, but gets easier and less painful over time. Also, the hair does diminish and become thinner.

4) If professional waxing is also too expensive, I think that starting your daughter off with a good electric razor is easy and the least painful and least likely to cause a skin reaction.

5) For any kind of razor burn/bumps, I recommend: Tend Skin. It's the only thing I've ever found that helps.

6) Although some people can use hair removal foams like Neet, Nair, etc. those caused MAJOR skin rashes, burns, bumps and pain, no matter which brand I used.

Good luck!

I haven't read all of the comments, but I agree with some of the ones I've read. Ask for her preference. However, if you are concerned about her using a razor, you might consider the Veet Rasera Bladeless Kit. It comes with hair removal gel and a plastic hair removal tool that is shaped like a razor. I've used this product and I really like it because it isn't painful like waxing and I do not have to worry about cuts (which is especially helpful when I am getting a pedicure).

C.,
My mom didn't let me start shaving until I was 13 and she started me off with an electric razor which I thought was such a great idea that it's what I did for my daughter. The only exception is I let her start shaving at almost 12 because the hair on her legs was pretty noticeable. As for her lip, she doesn't have a problem with that but if you are able to notice it on your daughter then chances are kids will, too. I wouldn't pluck those hairs because as you know it kind of hurts. I would buy some Nair or something like it and do it that way. Make sure she knows she can only use that in your presence. As for the waxing thing, I don't know but I was always told it was a myth. I know the hair takes a lot longer to grow back in but I don't think it effects the thickness or color. But, I could be wrong. Best of luck!
M.

My daughter just started to shave. I bought her an electoc razor (less cuts and such) as far as the waxing...I'm not sure

We are dark haired people, and my twelve year old did have quite a forest and mustache going. I went ahead and started letting her deal with that once it started causing her some embarassment. I'm sure that if we were lighter haired, she could have waited until she was older. Anyway, she did start out by using an Avon hair remover, which worked somewhat, but not as well as we would have liked. Then, she started shaving. So far, shaving has not been a problem, and we discovered that olive oil was the very best shaving lotion because it won't let her skin get irritated. Later on, she discovered VEET, and says that it is wonderful. It is a hair removal cream, but comes with a scraper to scrape it off with, and doesn't smell bad like most of the other creams. As for the stache, if she doesn't have much, then I would just pluck. Otherwise, you might experiment with some creams that are made just for the face. There are also those tiny razors that you can use on those little areas. We like them for straightening up our eyebrows. Welcome to young ladyhood and good luck!

Just one note about waxing her lip. Some people (and I'm one of them) get horrible breakouts on their lips from waxing. This can be much worse if you wax close to your period (yeah hormones.) I've found a great home remedy for bleaching and have used it for years.

Mix baking soda and hydrogen peroxide into a paste and pack it on over the hairs. As it starts to dry out use a Q-tip to add more peroxide. Continue this for about 10 minutes and your daughter will have much lighter hair.

My girls Nair or Veet their legs. It works for them.

As for the facial hair I would do THREADING. I think it's great and works better and longer than waxing, which can hurt the folicles and the face if not done right.

Threading can be found at Grapevine Mills Mall in a kiosk not far from Old Navy or in Las Colinas at Eyes of India.

It's a very old eastern technique and is done with special cotton thread. It takes a few minutes and is pretty cheap. It still hurts, but not as much as waxing.

No plucking the stache!!!! Try Sally Hansen facial hair remover--it works really well for me, and not at all painful. As for the legs...let her shave. I needed to shave very badly by the time I was 12, and my mom would never let me. I finally snuck into the medicine cabinet and got her razor and did it anyway b/c I was so desparately embarrassed. I cut the back of my leg b/c obviously I didn't know what I was doing. Instead of having that situation, make it a really special deal and show her the proper technique and remind her once she starts, it'll be an everyday (or every other day) thing from now on...

They also do threading at Ulta in Arlington. I have not ever had it done myself, but I have seen it done there and it was very interesting. When I got home I tried to do it (it looks very simple) but it must be harder to do than it looks. Because I didn't have any luck.

I met an Italian woman with two girls who had very dark hair on their arms and legs (ages 7 & 9). She takes them in for sugaring - it's much less painful and damaging than waxing yet lasts longer than shaving.

I agree with the others- let her shave. Now I wouldn't do the waxing until she is older and understands how painful it can be. Have the lip hair lightened (I think you might even be able to buy a cream to put on it to lighten it yourself.)

I recommend the Venus razer for new shavers, or a good electric razer. My husband loves my Venus. LOL No cuts. I have offered to buy him his own so he'll stop using mine. :)

I don't like the Veet or Nair because while you are sitting there waiting for it work your skin is absorbing all those chemicals. I avoid chemicals as much as possible.

S., mom to four girls

Hi C., I would say yes teach her how to shave especially when it is a new razor she needs to shave lighter because it is so sharp and show her to be careful right by the ankles where the skin is so sensitive and cuts can easily occur. As for the mustache I would go to a pro to dye it blonde then it won't be visible because if you shave that it will just get worse. I have 3 girls aged 16,15, and 12 so I've been down this road and they also approached me when they were ready. I actually would like my 12 year old to shave her arms and legs (u know why) but she is just not interested so I'll let her do it when she's ready.

My daughter is "9" !! & we shaved her legs (I helped her) & the kids at school were making fun of her dark hair-hairy legs, its' ashame kids are so ugly this day in-time, when I was 9 we never heard of shaving !!!.....
I would recommend waxing the mustach, too much pain to pluck ! + you won't have too do it as much if you wax !

my daughter was on about the same thing!
i got her veet mouse and its been excellent. the growth has really minimized and she only has to use it once every three weeks as aposed to shaving which is more work and does thicken! as far as the mustache the more you do it the more you have to deal with it so watch that part!
hope this helped!!

I just joined this group and thought I'd share my experience. I have 3 daughters, 22, 18 and 15. I let them start shaving at 13. We use shaving gel and disposable razors, they work great. My 18yodd is dark haired and her hair is the same after she shaved as before. They use the gel under their arms too and it works great. Their skin is smooth, no outbreaks and no bumps.

The only thing we wax is eyebrows. We don't have issues with lip hair yet. Oh, also for some odd reason, my 18yodd shaves her arms, her actual arms. She said it was because she has dark hair & didn't like it. I think it's odd, feel the hair needs to be there, LOL, but her hair has not thickened or darkened since she started doing that.

I can not afford laser or waxing of more than eyebrows, so I use the gels with great success. Have fun entering this part of your daughters growing up, the adventure just gets more exciting.

Sorry I didn't see your question sooner, but... when I was in the 6th grade, the hairs on my legs were so noticable that the kids teased me in gym class. My suggestion is that if the hairs on her legs are dark and noticable, then it's time for her to start shaving. Just like the menustral cycle.. you can't just put a date on it.

Just for reference, after the kids starting making fun of me... I went home and shaved... without parental permission, so be thankful that she's asking for your advise... I never had any...

Good Luck
J.

Do not have her upper lip waxed whatever you do... I use to do this and was burned twice,, it took years for the scars to go away.She is young, so her skin is super sensitive.. Threading is good,, it hurts some, and more when your on your period.. but it depends on her.. whatever is less painful for her.
I would let her remove any hair she wants in the least painful way possible.. I myself was teased in the middle school years about my arms,,and ended up getting in a fight with a girl who wouldn't leave me alone.. so , my sympathies , kids can be cruel.

I would ask her what she wants to do first before making a choice. Im happy my mom helped me shave. it made the trasition into my teen years a lot easier.

Sorry I didn't see this sooner. I want to say one thing about the Veet--test first! I tried using it a few months ago and it burned all the skin off my hands and my legs had big burns on them by the time I was able to get it all off (it was very thick and didn't just come off with water).

Good luck!

My 11 year old dd started shaving about 6 or 7 months ago (when she was 10). I am not comfortable w/ her using a real razor yet b/c she's just not that coordinated, lol, but she has an electric razor that works well and suits it's purpose. I never have to worry about her cutting herself.

I haven't heard that about wax - but who knows. I do think waxing might be a bit painful though, and you'll just have to keep going back to do it every few weeks - that's a bit expense.

The electric razor we bought has different attatchments so my dd can do her legs, underarms and facial hair.

Waxing for the lip. Shaving for the legs.

Waxing full legs for a girl her age - too painful, too much expense. Shaving is something she can do on her own inexpensively.

Yes, hair on legs might comeback a little thicker on a leg that has never been shaved. Just be sure she knows that once she starts shaving her legs, she needs to be prepared to continue shaving on a regular basis (weekly, bi-weekly or daily depending on how fast her hair grows).

She is growing up. :-)

hello my daughtr is twelve years old and she also asks momma when you gone shave my legs and under arms, hardly anything is there, i tell her i will do it. she getting the influence of other teenie bops. Its very funny too me, cause at that age i did not think on those things, and i still wear feminine pads, i dont use tampons. i amd 34 years old. you have to watch tampons, thaey give me toxic syndrome within 5-15 minutes and i get sick and have severe back pain.

C.-THERE IS A GIRL IN MY BOYS 4TH GRADE CLASS AND SHE IS STARTING TO GET HAIR IN HER ARMPITS. SHE SAID HER MOM SAID SHE IS TO YOUNG TO START SHAVING. i HAVE NO GIRLS BUT I WILL TELL YOU I HAVE SHAVED MY LEGS AND PITS EVERYDAY SINCE I WAS 11. YOU CAN TAKE HER TO GET HER FACE WAXED EVEN YOU DONT THINK ITS NOTICEABLE. HER APPEARANCE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO HER. DO WHAT IS NECESSARY TO HELP HER WITH HER SELF ESTEEM.
GOOD LUCK,
S.

My mother swears by waxing, just make sure you find someone who is good. Bad ones can burn you and break the hair off which makes it just like shaving and that is what you are trying to avoid. When my daughter is old enough I will definitely be going the waxing route instead of shaving. Good luck, have a great holiday season.

Your daughter is old enough to shave her legs. but the lip is another thing. once you shave that you will grow hair there for the rest of your life.Ugly thing for a girl.
IF she is old enough to understand this , she is old enough to shave her legs.
MK

My daughter is 13 and actually started shaving when she was 11... Her hairs were really dark and she was extremely embarressed by them.... My opinion is that shaving is not that big of a deal... it doesn't change anything about them and most people don't even notice rather she does or doesn't... I've never done the waxing but I can say since my daughter has started shaving her hairs aren't any darker or thicker.... As for the "mustache"... well if it's really dark and noticeable then yes I would so go ahead and have it waxed... Kids these days are soooooo mean that something like that would be the perfect thing to pick up on and make fun of... My daughter just started getting her eyebrows waxed this year and it was because they were starting to grow thick in the middle and a few kids started making comments....

My motto is "Pick your battles and don't sweat the small stuff..."

I don't see any wrong in letting a 12-year-old shave or pluck, seems right for her age. I don't think it's true about waxing for the first time making hair come in thinner, but I find that it generally does make the hair come back thinner.
A 12-year-old may not be up for the discomfort of waxing and may like the act of shaving more than the annoyance of waxing. Also with waxing, she'll have to let the hair grow out for awhile (unsightly) before she can successfully wax again.
good luck, after that comes make-up, boys, cars, birth control, etc.

When I started shaving my legs, within a year or 2 I developed some sores at the top of my thighs because I was getting infections when I was shaving. I only got little nicks every so often, and didn't think anything of it, till the sores came (I think the sores were associated with the lymph nodes in the legs) Anyway, it took a LONG time to clear up and wasn't any fun - especially the trip to the doctor. If you do have her shave, I'd go electric, rather than using a regular blade razor - it could save on embarrassment and doctor bills in the future.

I empathize with both you and your daughter. You didn't say if the leg and facial hair is dark, but regardless, if it's bothering her, you should let her shave it off. Waxing is painful for such a young child. I had very hairy legs, and began shaving at age 11. My daughters also had more than normal leg hair, and they started shaving at age 9. My facial hair, and that of my daughters became a problem just after finishing high school. We all have had electrolysis done. It's been an on-going problem, but we've laughed about it and haven't let it make us feel less feminine. In the old days, hair on a woman was considered sexy. But then an extra 40 or 50 pounds was, too. LOL!

I have a 12 year old girl about to turn 13. I let her start shaving when she turned 12. I got this tip from a beauty pageant contestant. Use hair conditioner on the legs instead of shaving cream. It keeps the skin soft and doesn't dry it out. As for eyebrow hair, I taught her how to pluck. I haven't gotten any complaints yet about upper lip hair yet.

Hello C.,

Well I have a 12 year old daughter (7th grade), I let her shave her legs last year because she was going in to middle school and she didn't want hairy legs, before she started shaving the hair on her legs were dark and thick, now that she shaves the hair grows in real light and thin (stubbly still though), as far as waxing her "mustache" I would say no, because she will have to do it the rest of her life, the reason she probably has hair there now is because she is going thru puberty, it MAY go away on its own. This is just my opinion, hope it helps. Good luck with your Pre-teen daughter! They can be a handful =)

B.

I am sorry to respond late, but I just read your question.
I have an 11 year old daughter who is in 6th grade. All her friends shaved in the 5th grade and I told her that we would do it in 6th grade. Well, we started in Aug. and her hair grows back short and smooth. It is not growing back thicker or darker(she is blonde though).
My daughter had coed pe sometimes and was glad to noy have hairy legs .
Good luck!

Speaking from my own experience, when I was in Jr. School I believe I started to shave my lower legs. My Mother wouldn't let me shave anything else, it had to be waxed. I started waxing my upper legs my freshman year in high school...I have still to this day never shaved my bikini area or upper leg area. I have hardly any hair on my upper legs and yes it is very soft and light in color. As for her lip, definitely get it waxed, plucking will be a nightmare and painful.

Hi moms.. I don't know about waxing, that seems harsh. But shaving is okay. My daughter kept complaining about the hair on her legs when she was 8. One day, we were sitting together and I felt her legs and they had stubble. I was horrified!! I asked her if she had shaved her legs and when and how. She told me she took a scissor and cut as many hairs off as she could. That day I bought her a razor and showed her how to use it. You never know how ingenious our little girls can be. I suggest showing her how to shave before she tries to herself.

Good luck!

Hi C.,
I just joined and noticed your question. I also saw where you and your daughter deceided on what you might do. I still felt I should share with you what my daughter (now 11) have done. Her and her sister have very dark hair and LOTS of it. They both have been picked on really badly. Some of these people were other adults that made very rude comments to them. Which would make them some times cry. After a really hard decision for me I let my oldest start shaving (lower legs only) when she started 5th grade. We tried all sorts of razors (none of them were electric) and the veet. Her or myself have success with the veet. It really was a huge waste of money. The razor she likes the best if the intuition (i'm sure i spelled that wrong). She just loves it because it's easy to use and she doesn't even have to use shaving cream. I've even tried her razor when we went out of town and realized I forgot to pack my own. I liked it so much that when I have to buy replacement heads for my current razor I plan on buying one like hers. I really do understand that this is a big decision and I wish you and your daughter the best of luck with whatever you may choose! I'm now having to make the choice to let my almost 9 yr. old shave as her legs are really bad and kids are making comments about it. I know she has asked me but until she's ready to do it herself I'm not going to let her do it. Again, I wish y'all the best with this difficult decision.

Hi C.,

I know you have already posted what you are going to do and I think for the beginning of shaving the Veet is great. My 14 year old step-daughter used this for almost 2 years until she had to go on a long trip and had to shave. As far as waxing goes please double check with your skin care person ( I work in the industry but not directly in skin care) when she was going on this long trip we checked into waxing and were strongly advised against it because she had not started her period yet. I would double check with a experienced skin care person or if you would like I will get the cons to waxing before a period had started.

Hi C.,

I am sorry that I did not see this post earlier. It sounds like you have already made a choice about what to do, but I feel compelled to share my story with you:

I strongly recommend that you reconsider using the veet. I believe that it is related to Nair which I used at about your daughter's age just once on my belly and the hair grew back MUCH thicker and darker and I had a friend in middle school who had the same experience with it and sadly for her she had used it on her mustache.

I agree with the posts I read that recommended waxing for the lip and shaving for the legs. Shaving is tried and true. If you are worried about the risk of cuts I recommend the Venus triple blade razor which I have NEVER cut myself with (whenever I have to use a different razor for some reason I inevitably nick myself because I have become used to being very carefree when shaving with my venus).
Also, if she is going to try waxing and you want to minimize the risk of a breakout I highly recommend you try sugar waxing. It is much gentler because 1. The wax is body temperature, not hot and 2. The hair is pulled out in the direction of growth rather than against it like with conventional waxing. As far as I know there is only one professional sugar waxing service offered in Portland:
Jami Winston's Treatment in the Pearl. She's great.

Good luck! I really feel for your daughter, it's hard to be a woman with hair in our society. It's been the thing I'm most self-conscious about all of my post-pubescent life. I am finally realizing that how I feel about it truly what makes the biggest difference with how other people feel about it.

warmest wishes,
L.

DO NOT PLUCK HER FACIAL HAIR!!

My grandmother did this and it made her hairs grow back thick and wiry. Go to the store and buy Jolen Facial and Body Hair bleach. It's in a little blue box and it's gentle to use. Bleaching the hairs will make them grow back softer, and it looks a heck of a lot more natural.
As for waxing... Try it and see if she likes it, but there are a ton of more gentle products out there now a days. They have a razor-less shaving system, but I forgot what it's called. You can buy it at the store. You put hair removal cream on your legs and then "shave" the cream and along with it, the hair. Just experiment with what's out there these days before using all the old fashion techniques. Hope this helps!

C. and ALL mothers,

I let my daughter use the Veet, and it burned her skin. ALL over her legs. She is almost 11 and her legs were hairy, so I just shave them for her now.

My 12 year old daughter started shaving a couple of years ago and it was no big deal. Most people never notice that she did or didnt, but it made a HUGE difference for her!

As for the mustache - we haven't had to deal with that, but my daughter has HUGE eyebrows (or should I say has A huge EYEBROW). She asked me to wax it at about age 8. I resisted because I felt (at the time) that doing so would send the message to her that she was not good enough as she is. A while later she came to me crying saying that people were really making fun of her, so I gave in. We now have waxing at the Brumleys every Sunday night...its kind of a ritual, with my husband, son, daughter and myself all getting it done (we are all big-browed people). None of the rest of us do it every week, but she really needs it that often. Sometimes we have family members or friends stop by for their waxing, as well...its a very well-known "date".

One thing I would like to say is don't take that on yourself...it is messy and could make things really ugly if you dont know what you are doing. (I have my beautician's license or I wouldn't have). So go pro for that!

I taught my daughters how to shave their legs/pits just before they started Jr High, because most girls are shaving by then. We went with shaving because we can't always afford to take them every week to get waxed, but it's up to you and what your budget is. As for the "mustache", I don't know as I've never dealt with it before. Good Luck and revel in these moments with your daughter while she is still asking you how to do things and involving you in her process of growing up.

C. I have a 12yr old 14yr old and a 10month old. My 14yr old just started shaving but my 12yr old is of a lighter completion and that was a problem for her when she started middle school seeing the mustache. We first went and got it waxed and then I proceeded to teach her how to shave her legs. So far its been okay. We have be only doing it about 4 months. But I would say try the mustache first because kids are sometimes mean and girls are growing up faster and paying more attention to their bodies. Be Blessed

I used Nair when I started shaving, and it worked fine. I couldn't cut myself because it is bladeless and painless.

If the lip is really bothering her, and you agree, I think waxing would be much better than plucking. . .or maybe even just try the bleach you can get at Wal Mart ~ talk to someone who has tried it first, though because you want to see how it works or if it has weird effects before you use it on your daughter.

My cousin and I started shaving our legs when we were young too -- I'd say 10 at least... her mom left the razor in the tub and I was spending the night and we made a MONSTER bubble bath. We were like... we should shave our legs. And we both did... Not a big deal. My mom bought me a disposable razor and left the safety cover on. She had me show HER how to shave off soap so that she knew I knew how to do it properly and then helped me on the next time.

It's so funny for me to read "kids are so mean these days"... kids are kids... they've always been mean. There have always been bullies, there have always been soft skinned kids that get picked on... kids make fun of those that are different -- always have, always will. We can't shelter them from anything but I don't think there's anything wrong with helping her feel more confident about herself. :)

I have 3 boys, so I won't have to deal with the leg thing, and I'm not sure about age appropriateness of this, but I have very dark hair and just recently decided to have it lasared (sp) It was a chunk of money, but something I wish I had done YEARS ago. My sister (9 yrs younger) has also recently done it, and I will be saving my pennies for a gift for any niece I will ever have to have it done as early as possible. It would have saved me alot of embarrassment growing up, and I would have enjoyed alot more summer activities. (beach, pool, wearing shorts in general) I also would have gotten more of my moneys worth!:)

I read the other day that if girls never start shaving and they get their legs/arms/whatever waxed and you continue this every 6-8 weeks with her never shaving that by the time she is 18 that she will probably never have to worry about having to shave because the hair will quit growing. Just something I thought I would pass on! Good luck!

I have a 12 yr old in 7th grade and she started shaving in 5th grade. I understood how she felt with having hairy legs. My mom was and is old fashioned and she would not let me shave. I was embarrassed and I swore I would NEVER let my child go through the humiliation.

As for the mustache, she has a little battery operated bikini razor thing (about $10 at Walgreen's) and she uses it about twice a month.

I personally don't think it is a big deal, especially if you are open and honest with each other.

Susan

I had one of those epiladys back in high school and it hurts but you get used to it and there is no blood like when you shave and cut yourself. Also you don't have to do it all the time like shaving.
Now I wax and have been for about 8-10 years,it is better than anything because you only have to do it once a month or so and it is quicker than the 2 other options above.
The only drawback is you have to let your hair grow out for the next service time which might be embarrassing for a tween/teen.
So the epilady if she wants to maintain it and waxing if she can wait for the hair to grow out in between services.
And the hair grows back thinner and lighter over time not darker.