Guilt About Ending Breastfeeding

I totally understand, BFing is so wonderful and it can be so hard to give it up, I'm struggling with when to wean myself because my DH and I want to get pregnant again soon and my baby is 13 months now but I'd like to make it to 18 months if I can. Just do what you feel is best and it'll be fine.

You should not feel guilty at all! You have given him the best thing for his body to grow on and he has now outgrown the need for it. You are doing a great job!

We all feel that way, especially when you think it may be your last. It is a hard concept to deal with. As a woman, you have done what nature intended. It feels wonderful to connect with your baby on that level. When I had my son, due to some unplanned ineptness from my ob docs, my uterus was damaged to the point that I will not be able to bear any more children. Now, the funny thing is, I was planning a tubal, so I was done with the process. But, when I was told that there was no chance that I could do it again, that the choice had been taken a way, it really affected me. So I breast fed longer, carried him everywhere, you know, just more clingy and protective. It is funny. So, dont feel guilty. You have bf longer than a lot of folks do, he is surely strong and healthy for it. Be proud of that, and find other ways to bond and connect with him. Reading is good, as you can snuggle and be cozy together still, and it is just him. Little things like that. Watching one of his shows, snuggled together. Best to you!
W.

You should try to look at it as a stepping stone in your son's life. Just as people expect bottle-fed babies to transition to a cup around 12m, you are tranisitioning your son.

M.

The guilt is over your sadness at this stage ending. Don't worry! :) You have much more nurturing to do for the next 18 years and then for the next 50 after that!

I only bf for 5 months because I actually had to pump the entire time! YIKES! So my mantra became "Formula is cheaper than therapy."

No guilt. You are doing what is best for your son. You can feel amazing, because you are. Being a SAHM is the hardest job in the world. Keep it up!

I BF my daughter until 17 months as well. it was a bittersweet ending. however...give yourself a break. now you can concentrate on doing other really cool stuff with them! new chapters are waiting for you!
have a great time...and don't forget to do something special for yourself! what an accomplishment!

of course you are feeling sad at the end of this sweet, precious time of life. you should mark its passage and mourning is perfectly appropriate. but don't feel guilty! that implies that you are doing something wrong, and you're not. you have done wonderfully by breastfeeding both your children and keeping it going for so long. good for you! i wish i had nursed mine for a lot longer.
there is no selfishness, not one iota, in breastfeeding your babies into their second year!
:) khairete
S.

I understand how you are feeling. My oldest quit at 13 months suddenly which was shattering at the time. And I weaned my second at 18 months. It wasn't relly a crutch for us because they slept on their own, but both times I was very sad. Especially the second time, knowing it may be my last baby. But I too it felt it was time for us both.

I guess that the way I looked at it is that it was a very concrete way of moving on to the next stage of parenting. I tried to embrace it as having a "big girl" toddler. It is one of the first stages of separation to some degree. But I tried to focus on transition ot new things. For instance, instead of nursing my daughter showed more interest in cuddling and reading books which is a new level of fun to experience with her. Instead of sharing that gazeinto each other's eyes, we "talk" about a book and giggle, and there is a different sort of give and take. I also admit that I reallly like owning my body again.

I'd also add, that I don't think that the kids feel bad or miss it as much as we so, as long as it is gradual and you still have enough cuddle time. There may be the time he suprises you and asks ot nurse, but for the most part, sadly, I think they forget pretty quickly, which makes it easier on us.

So, I think it is normal to feel sad about what has passed, and as I write this, I feel a bit weepy thinking about it all. But don't feel guilt. You should be proud of doing something that is very hard for many women. You gave your kids the greatest start possible, and you have special memories of them tha tno one else will. Enjoy those, and welcome your new relationship as he grows up.

I say wean him. He will be fine. You will need some time to mourn it. Then you will be fine. Don't feel guilty. BF is a huge commitment and you kept it way past the one year mark when many moms have stopped.

I TOTALLY know how you are feeling (I think... haha). I was crying on and off for DAYS when I stopped. I have four kids, and for the last three I had a very emotional end to breastfeeding...

Now that I am no longer going to breastfeed at all and I KNOW it (husband had vasectomy- we don't want more), I get very sad feelings sometimes! It is silly, but still very real. And it certainly doesn't help that I have been still lactating several months after I stopped... constant reminder!!!:( (I actually didn't know that it is normal for some women to lactate WAAAAY after stopping breastfeeding until just recently)

Really, though- DON'T FEEL GUILTY! you are doing nothing wrong!

I nursed my last child until he decided to quit. I hated to end a beautiful thing. He quit at age 2and half. I was very happy to give him that superior nurishment and bonding love that long. If you don't need to quit why not keep nursing a bit longer? AF