Grieving-Father's Day

I like the ideas that that the other two moms had. Making sure your daughter does something to celebrate her dad is an important thing to do. You definitely should have a mom and daughter talk to validate her feelings, but also, especially so she doesn't become a depressed teen, talk to her about life. Tell her that you know she is going to hurt for a long time and that you are always there to listen. I'm sure you did this when her dad passed, but it doesn't hurt to reassure her that the door is open. One thing you might try doing to get her thinking of life instead of that her dad is dead, is share a story with her about one of the first Father's Day memories you have about her dad. Maybe something you both made him, or something special you did with her dad when she was a little one. It may be hard for her to open up and talk about her dad with you because you have created a life with someone else and have another child with that person. So by starting the conversation with a cute memory of when you were a family with her dad may make it easier for her, and she may start to talk with you more often.

15 is a rough age without the loss of her father. Is there any way you could make up a special bouquet of flowers and take them to the cemetary. Give her time to talk to him and grieve a little at the grave sight.
I would also talk to her and say we still need to celebrate life and Fathers day. She is welcome to praticapate as she feels ready but life does go on. Don't make her grief seem unreal or less important. It takes time to work through these feelings and it takes time to heal. Just be open to talk any time.
So sorry for her loss.
C. B

i know how this goes. the first mothers day after i lost my mom was really hard. i would ask her to think of what she would like to do to remeber her dad on this day. you may have a few suggestions but really let her be the leader on this. everyone grieves so differently so let her know you are there to talk or cry or whatever if she needs you but don't force anything. she may just want to be by herself on this day or she may want to be with friends or with you. what ever she chooses let her know in a gentle way that you are there for her. also i would let her know in a very gentle but up front way ablout your responsibilities to her brother and that his dad is still around so yu can't ignore the day ect. just try not to make a huge deal out of anything. i am sure you remember how sensitive us women are at 15 and in this situation i am sure it is magnified a milllion times. i'll saya prayer for you as you deal with this sensitive time. God bless, N.

I agree with them. Ask her how she wants to remember her dad. Let her know that this is a day to pay tibute to him and to honor him. Make sure she can visit his grave and talk to him if she wants. Maybe reflect on the memories rather than the death. I think the idea of sending a letter or picyure in a balloon is wonderful. You should make a few, not too many, suggestions to her, help her come up with ideas. I know it will be a sad day, but it is also a great opportunity for her to reflect on his life, and remember him. I believe that in the end everyone will be together again. Remind her that he isn't gone for good or forever, helives in her and her memories of him, and that she can talk to him whenever she wants. I will pray for her, I hope she can find a way to celebrate the life he had and remember him in some way so that the day might be a little easier for her.

Maybe you could do something special for your daughter's father like write him a letter, or paint a picture if writing is too hard. Then take a balloon out to the grave or just in the back yard, and send the letter to him. He will always be her dad, so it is still important to celebrate him. You could also do this on Sat before Father's day so she has a day all to herself.

I love the other posts, so I will just add this.

Make sure she is able to visit his grave. You could make a scrapbook of a bunch of happy memories of her and her dad and give it to her. Encourage her to remember the good times with her dad. Let her know how much her dad loved her.