Good for Everyone but Me.

seperation anxiety begins about 18 months. That's really normal. My kids are always better behaved for others than they are for me....it's frustrating but better than the alternative. I would much rather people praise me for having such well behaved children eventhough they are difficult for me sometimes than they be terrors for others and I never can get a break because no one would want to babysit for me :) Good luck and hang in there, it will get better but they do tend to take Mom for granted don't they??

I know my kids have gone through stages where they are fine and then when I am around they stick to me like glue. I think that it is their way of letting you know that they missed you a lot.

Because he trusts you. He trusts his mommy enough to show all of his emotions and let everything out. He knows you won't hurt him and that it's safe to let his emotions be free. When he's with other people he doesn't know or trust as much as you he'll keep more in. I know it doesn't help to make it easier to deal with all of his emotions, but I hope it's nice to know he trusts you implicitly:) Keep up the good work!

M.,
It sounds like your little son just loves you a lot and wants to be noticed all the time by you. "Do I baby him too much?"
He is a baby how else should you treat him.
With Joy, C.

LOL! This is normal. My toddler is a total angel for everyone except us. Every time we pick her up from nursery they tell me how obedient, kind, helpful, sweet, etc. she is! It's just how things are. You are "home" to him, so he knows that he can be himself around you - good, bad and ugly. Would you really want you child to feel like he always had to be on his best behavior around you? To me that would indicate fear that you will reject him if he doesn't behave well. I guess take it as a compliment that you are doing a good job parenting him! At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Cheers,
S.

All of my daughters went through a clingy stage with me...and as life went on, the phase passed. I never pushed them away or tried to force them not to be clingy AND I never protected them from just normal life.

All of my daughters have and continue to go through 'testing the boundaries' stages. They feel more free to do this with my husband and I. In order to provide them the feeling of security, we have done a not perfect but very good job of sticking to the boundaries we've set. They have all gotten over whatever they are 'acting up' about and then move onto something new to act up about...it's just all progress. I figure it will never end (from what I hear from moms of older children and teens) until they have all moved out!

Hi. It is completely normal for young children to just want Mommy when she walks in the room. They know Mommy is a safety zone and also they know what they can get by whining. It will pass. Each of our three children has done this and our third, who is now 18 months, does this. Don't let it worry you or embarres you, as I know it can. It will pass. It is so nice to know that us Mommy's are so special!! :)

Both my boys have been this way. I figure that they feel like I do--when mommy is around, I can let down and feel how I really feel, and she'll love me no matter what. And even compared to Daddy, Mommy makes them feel better and takes care of boo-boos and hurt feelings. So I figure they've probably stored up all their hurts and frustrations and stresses all day and when they get to mommy, that's when they can let it all out. When I started thinking of it as a privilege that they came to me to fix everything, it was much easier to deal with their seemingly dichotomous behavior!

Hi,

My daughter is going thru the clingy thing too. Drives me nuts! I am not sure where you are located but I have joined MY GYM and it has helped with my daughters clingyness tremedously! I am truly amazed. She is a lot more independant and she has only gone to three classes. Let me know if you want some more info. It helps!

J. S

Around 18 months, seperation anxiety starts up again and they tend to get very clingy with their moms. My son woke up one day around 18 months and just started to flip out if I wasn't there. It is starting to calm down a little, but from what I hear, it's like a rollercoaster. Around two I here that daddy is that best thing in the world and they freak when daddy leaves.

Also know that they always put there "best" behavior on for you. I don't know why, my son will be a perfect angel for his dad, grandparents, and so on, but I come home and this whole other side comes out.

I just keep telling myself to enjoy this being the only one he wants right now because it soon will change. Hang in there. I don't think you are babying him too much either!

As far as being clingy, it is normal, you are his security blanket. It is great to encourage them to do things independently, have other people watch them but they like consistency and you are the one consistent thing daily for him. It isn't babying him.
As far as acting up it is because she loves and trusts you enough to know you will accept her no matter what. It is so typical. I babysit a little boy now going on two years, I hear how he is at home and it is like it is a different child! He is an angel here, so sweet and loving and then his mom tells me all the trouble he causes at home, what he gets into and his tantrums. In two years I HAVE NEVER seen one tantrum! :)

I know how you feel my dd is going on 23 months and she still does the whole clingy thing. She wants me more than her dad and that is because I am home with her all the time. The one thing that we do is take turns with friends and make playdates atleast when we can and that gives the children a break and of course the parents.Now my child when we go to friends house they will play and run they only come to me when they are hurt or extremely tired. I hope this helps and gl

As I'm doing this, I'm snuggling my 20 mo. old. Some just need more for a while. Independence isn't an issue. I can take him to nursery at church or whatever, no problem. Around home, we just have lots of hugs all day. I figure it's a stage and I'll miss is some day. As far as acting out goes, your the safest person. He knows you will love him no matter what he does. Aren't we more likely to be our true selves with our family than with someone else? Just give him lots of love while he wants it, because it's going to be gone before you know it. I already miss my snuggles with our older one. GL!

It is normal for kids to behave differently around their parents. They all do it at some point. They feel lik they can test their limits with mom and dad, see how far they can go. It is also like a security blanket for them.

My children are very rambunctious, often wild and out of control. They fight alot, are bossy, demanding, and try their best to be controlling. However, only people who are related see that side of them. Others see a nice calm quiet side. My son is being evaluated for autism and adhd, I was given some questionaires, as was his teacher. Her answers are completely different from mine, in most cases.

They also behave differently when dad is around than when he isn't. Are they around you more? children tend to do this with people they are around the most. In your case that is probably you. They are more comfortable with you, therefore they want you.

Enjoy it. I have been told it doesn't last long, and when it is gone you will want it back. Teenagers rarely want to be around their parents.

This is normal. Especially f they are in day care all day. they will be good and then they see you and it is a relief, so they let out all their emotions they were botling up all day. One thing that helped was reading the book, the Love Languages of Children (or something like that. can find in the Rocky Mountain Christian church coffee shop or online with the Love and Logic sites...probably Border's to). I learned my son's Love Language was service. this was an eye opener. He is so much better behaved and lovy when he is helping others or feels I am helping him. this is very different fromt he very obvious Love Language of my daughter, physical contact.

Babies learn at an early age how to push mom's buttons. I'm not clear about what the problem is. Are you concerned that he is better behaved for others and exhibits bad behavior for you? That's normal. Don't worry about it. OR are you worried that he's a mommy's boy? That's normal, too. It's a phase. Just remember that your his mommy and he loves you. He might take you for granted, but he loves you. Also, you are the mommy --- the boss --- and YOU set the rules. I don't know if this answers your question.

It could be b/c your 18 month old is good when with someone new just b/c it's not the person he/she is with all the time. We do the same thing right? When we are grumpy at home but go out and laugh and chat with a friend. I would recommend finding a good parenting book. I like the Parenting with Love and Logic book. It's really helped me with my 4 year & 18 month. Good luck! OH! And try to look at the funny side of life!!

My 19 month old is the same way. I swear to you it is just a Mommy thing! A phase that will pass. When I am around she whines constantly. If she is with my husband or the other kids she is all fine and happy. The child just wants your constant attention if you are there. It will pass. It did with my other kids. Hang in there. You won't be the favorite forever!

M.,
I think its pretty natural for starters. I also think that children tend to listen to Dad better because there role is more authoritative and ours is more nurturing... sometimes. Another thing, our children have always been that way they are better behaved for others and in pubic than for us or at home. Which we figure in a way is a blessing because the flip side of that is the child that acts up for others and in public, we would rather have to deal with the problem and discipline at home. Plus, kids like adults sometimes "act out" more with the people they love, simply because there is trust and comfort with these relationships you know its ok, you'll still be loved...
Best Wishes,
S.

This just means they love you and trust you the most! I know it is frustrating but a baby causes the most trouble around their mommy because he can trust that you will love him no matter what. It is totally normal for a baby to act this way especially around 18 mos when they are struggling for independence, but still need you so much. If you keep in mind why he is behaving this way, it might not be so aggravating! I know my kids must REALLY love me! Also, don't worry about babying him too much. Just set limits and be consistent and at this age try to redirect instead of punish. They don't have impulse control until they are older. Good luck!

A.

Hey M.,

I had the same problem with my little boy. What I did that seemed to have worked is I would try to leave him with someone else for a little while. Not long, maybe 20-30 min. every now and then. Or I would leave him with his dad while I went out so that he could get familiar with others. I'm not sure this will help, but I hope it does a little bit.

My daughter is the same way when it comes to diaper changes. She will freak out and roll around, arch her back and run away for me, but for everyone else she just sits there like a good girl...It is so frustrating, but I think because we are always with our little ones they try to push our buttons:)