Godparents - Plattsburgh,NY

how old is your daughter?

Tell her who they are. She is only 3. When she is older and if they are not
in her life, let her contact them if she wants. Are they guardians for your
daughter? Godparents are there for their godchildren spiritually. They are
not responsible for raising them if something happens to parents unless they are designated as such.

It depends on what you expect of them. If it was an honorary title meant to include them in your daughter's life and based on the relationship you had at the time, that's one thing. If they promised, in a religious ceremony, to be in charge of your daughter's religious upbringing should anything happen to you and your husband, and if they signed something, then there's more of a moral, contractual relationship.

So what is your daughter asking? Who was around at the time of her birth? Or who would be involved in raising her if something happened to you? Or who has religious responsibility over her? Do you have guardians appointed to raise her in the event of your deaths? Then those people "play the role" of godparents even if they weren't around at the time she was baptized. Or, if "godparent" was just an honorary title, you can tell your daughter that the friendships have changed BUT you have to analyze how she will feel - will she feel rejected by them? Will she say something to them if you cross paths since they live close by? Is there anything wrong with telling her she doesn't have godparents and that not everyone does? Did she just hear from a friend who has godparents? I think your answer to her depends on what the original arrangement was and what the expectations are going forward, as well as your daughter's age and what she really wants to know.

I remember when I was younger, about ten my godmother was going to visit. I had never met her and was excited to see her, needless to say she never showed and I was kinda hurt by the whole thing. Cleaned my room and everything. Anyways, are you hurt because they don't see your daughter? Being realistic, to me a godparent is only a title and the person can do with that title what they like. If your intention of naming them as godparents was to have them as a fixture in your childs life and you expressed that to them then I would be hurt. If you never expressed that to them, then what was your expectation. i never knew my godmother and new my godfather only because he was my uncle. So really it's all about how you saw the relationship. I would tell her that a godparent is there in case you need help in the spiritual world (catholic speaking) other than that they are there in the background. I wouldn't say anything to the godparents, they know their role and it's up to them.

.

She's 3 - mommy's friend is enough.

Godparents are supposed to be the people who continue the religious or spiritual education of your child should you pass. A legal guardian is who would raise your child in the event of your death. Tell her who her godparents are, and use it as a conversation to have with your friends. Let them each know that she asked about them. Maybe it can bridge the gap in the friendship.

I think you should just tlel her as much as possible without getting into the nitty gritty of it. Tell her what Godparents are and why you chose them at the time. If she asks more questions try and answer them reasonably but say that people get busy and we don't see them often or whatever. I'm sure that once you address it at a minimum level she will will just move on and probably won't ask a ton of follow up questions.

Don't say anything to the godparents. Choice of godparents are often a snapshot of a time frame that does not always hold true, similar to bridal parties...best friends change. The guardians of your children are the important people that should be up to date. You can tell your kids about their godparents. Mine were long distance and never met one to my recollection before he died, and I turned out OK :)

Personally, I don't think godparents really mean anything (at least to me); I haven't spoken to either of my godparents in years and neither one of them were even at my wedding (and sadly enough, they are both related to me-my godmother is my mom's cousin and my godfather is my mom's brother). I agree with another poster; just tell her that they are Mommy's friends. You could also explain to her that they are her godparents and played a role in her baptism. Figure out who would be the best guardians for your daughter if anything would happen to you and put it in your will (or whatever legal document will declare who your daughter's legal guardian would be in case something happens to both of you). It does not have to be your former friends just because they are the godparents.

It matters. What is the role a godparent should play in a child's life? My husband and I wanted the godparents to be who we would make legal guardians of our children in case of our demise. We chose close family friends that live in town of family and within 2 hours drive from all other extended family.