Godparent Responsibilities, in a Not Overly Religious Family?

It really depends on your relationship with the person. My godparents are my mother's sister and father's brother. Neither of them are overly religious, but my parents are strongly Catholic. While they had very little to do with my upbringing, both attended every important event in my life and walked eachother down the aisle at my wedding.

For my son, we selected my sister and her husband and they share the same level of religious practice. We are their twin daughters' godparents in turn. Having said that we are also the noted guardians should something happen and vice-versa. Much like my godparents, we will do our best to attend every important event in their lives and be there to support and encourage them just like ours did for us!

I always so my godparents as my second-best cheerleaders (right behind mom and dad)!

The point of being a God Parent is that should something happen to the parents you make sure the child learns about their faith. If I wasn't going to do this or wasn't that religion then I wouldn't take on the role.

EDIT Some people confuse this with becoming a guardian should the parents die. Two completely different things.

In a less religious role, many families anticipate that a "God parent" is the adult that would raise and care for the child should something happen to the parents. If that is the case, make it legal.

Ask the parents what they are thinking. "Godparent" is a really vague role anymore, and can mean many different things to different people. Ask the parents what they are expecting. In our case, we are progressive Episcopalians (we go to an extremely inclusive church) - one of my youngest's godparents also goes to our church, one is a Quaker, and the other two are an agnostic couple. We asked them to be an active adult presence in our son's life - another grownup who he could know loves and cares for him, and who he can look to as an example of how to be a grownup in the world. We asked that they remember him (in whatever way they saw fit - card, phone call, gifts are not necessary) on his birthday and on the anniversary of his baptism. We try to provide opportunities for him to spend time with them, to actively build that relationship (our kids play together, the Quaker lives out of town, so we try to visit her or she visits us at least once a year, we invite them to birthday parties, include them as members of our family.)

Ask the parents. They may not have an immediate answer, in which case, ask them to think about it. You can also make suggestions about what kinds of things you might be interested in doing for/with the child. One or two conversations will ensure that everyone's expectations will be met.

I got a birthday card from my Godparent every year. A somewhat more special present on my confirmation, and I still get Christmas cards from her each year. Really, that's about all in our family. I don't think my siblings' godparents even did that much (each of us had a different Aunt and Uncle as godparents). It was mostly symbolic for us.

You could ask the parents what their expectation are before agreeing to participate.

You simply make sure that you play a special role in the child's life. Special "godchild" cards & a little extra gift on the holiday or special occasions, attend school plays, ear piercings, etc. If you can afford it buy the christening outfit, birthday cakes, prom dress, wedding gown, etc. Just "be there" in any special way that you can.

Luckily you are from MN, as am I, and I have not seen some of the out of control spending that goes with the territory of being a Godparent in some of the other metro areas (like NY).

Basically, you will buy Christmas, Birthday and other special occasion gifts (first communion, graduations, etc.) But, other than that, I think you can just look forward to being a positive influence on the child, and someone that the child can look to for advice. Take the kid on special outings to build your relationship. I am EXTREMELY close with my Godmother who is my aunt. She always treated me like her other daughter, and I have always viewed her as my 2nd mother.

My DH and I are not overly religious at all. We go to church maybe a few times a year (bad I know). When we had our son (almost 2 years ago) Dh picked his best friend and one of my good friends to be godparents. They came to the baptism, and come to the birthday parties, and get gifts for him for Christmas. I think thats all that is expected. They were both glad that they get to be calle godparents. I know the original idea is that if something happens to the parents that the godparents will take the kids, but I dont think that applies anymore. We just had a daughter 4 days ago and are trying to pick out godparents for her too.

We aren't very religious either. Our kiddos do have Godparents. Honestly, I don't expect more of them than I do of any other aunt/uncle in their lives...love them, that is it!

We have several Godchildren. We get them a little more for Christmas and B-days than we do the other kids. When they get married, we'll give them a slightly bigger check.

Other than that, nothing really. I suppose if something ever happened to their parents I would step in and ask if they wanted to go to church, but no one in our family is really religious, so no one goes on a regular basis anyway.

i would imagine just to be there for the important moments in life, support them, love them, be like family. you know? i would think that sending a card on holidays or other special occassions, gift here and there, taking them to fun places or something.

just whatever you want to do for the special Godchild in your life
my son's Godparents were more for "protection" - if something happens to us, we have someone chosen to care for our son.
they send him the hallmark Godchild ornament for Christmas. its really cute.

anyway, hope that helps.

Not sure of traditions in your part of the country and not sure which faith you are. In NY metro area italian catholic families being a godparent takes on the role of expensive gifts for special events. In non-italian families it's more about being a special extra person in the child's life than anything else. In most families it's really an honorary title and it provides a little extra connection to that family member. Of course, you're only asked to be a godparent if the parents already feel an extra connection to you.

Finally there's a misconception that being a godparent takes on the role of raising the child in the event that both parents pass away. That's not at all the role. That would be settled by a will and if no will exists legal guardiansip goes to the next of kin. Note - if there's any concern about the potential next of kin wh'd raise your child make a will today. The last thing you want is a crazy SIL or MIL petitioning the court to take care of your child when your child is already reeling from trauma!