Godparents - Wahpeton,ND

Picking "Godparents" depends on your definition/intention of their role. A true Godparent is intended to help bring the child up in their family's religious beliefs. Many people pick godparents with the intent that if something were to happen to the parents, the godparents would become the child's guardian (which by the way does not happen automatically, you need a that to be spelled out in a will or other legal papers). Some intend on both. What is your definition/intention? You should decide based on your answer.

There is nothing wrong with picking the same or different Godparents for each child; however, if your intent is for the Godparents to be their guardian if something were to happen to you, then you would want them to be the same so the children would be together if that were to happen.

You should not decide based on how someone will or won't react. You have to do what is right for your family.

Hi M.,
I have had both friends and family members be godparents to our 4 children.
Relationships change and the dynamics of these relationships affect the Godparent/Godchild bond.
Looking back I would have still chosen the same people and tried harder to stay in one anothers lives for the long haul. Unfortunately many people do not take the responsibility to heart for the long term and are there for the day posing for the photos and being present for the celebration party.
I would advise you to pick the people that will be around to see your daughter grow and be in her life, I like the sibling(s) idea. Keeping it in the family is what I have advised my own children to do, it brings family closer. Follow your heart and make the best decision at this time in all of your lives that is possible. I have found out the hard way that in some cases blood is thicker than water but in the same token some friends have been more like family, then family so it can be a toss up! Good luck in your decision making and congratulations on the birth of your new baby!

I can't tell you who to pick, but your children's Godparents are NOT the people that the children are left to, if God forbid something happens. Years ago this was the case. Now a will and only a will, stands up in a court of law when it comes to whom gets custody of your children. Please do not think that because you child has Godparents that it means they will end up with them if something happens to you. (separation of Church & State) They will end up as wards of the state if it is not legally written up and they are not family members. A direct family member will get custody of your kids before a friend, even if that friend is your child's Godparent. You need to have your intentions in writing...unfortunately being a Godparent does not mean anything to the powers that be, only to you and God.

Distance should not matter, however a Godparent is suppose to be in a child's life to contribute to their religious upbringing.(I'm Catholic so I know this applies to the Catholic Faith) If you pick someone that lives a great distance that might be something to consider. Godparents are the people that should be there when they make their other sacraments and that can contribute to their faith. Maybe this last part will help you decide who would be the best person to help you raise your child in your faith.

The way I understood it the Godparents were the ones you would want to raise your kids should something happen to you, so wouldn't you want your kids to have the same ones so they would remain together? or are you just using it as a fun title rather than as actual secondary guardians?

I would chose the people that you have the most trust in. Being a godparent is an amazing oppurtunity for the right people. Do what is right for you and your kids, not what others want. if your friends are that good of friends (godparents to DD#1) then they would understand you chosing different ones for DD#2. However if they are that good with #1, why not make have them for DD#2???

My son and my daughter have the same godmother. If the godmother is okay with it, why not use the same one for #2?

I think it would be pretty normal to use the same couple for child number two..... I guess I don't really know the protocol of Godparents... we dont do that in our family. But it sure seems to me that logically your kids would all share the same Godparents.

Why wouldn't you want both of your children to have the same set of Godparents? Isn't that the responsibility of a Godparent, to care for your children should something happen to you? If they had separate Godparents, would they be raised separately also in that instance? I could be mistaken about the duties of a Godparent though, but I would choose what is in your heart.

My Godfather lived in Italy, was here when I was born and my Godmother in New Jersey. I was always close to both. My sis godmother was my aunt lives 5 blocks away, my moms sister, and her Godfather was my dad's best friend, lived 20 miles away. Still close to my aunt hasn't spoken to her Godfather in 20 years. It's who you feel are the right people for your child. You could repeat the same Godparents if you wish, or if you are doing it more out of tradition than actual religious reasons chose a sib. But distance shouldn't be a deciding factor doesn't mean if they live closer they will be more involved in your child's life.

More than distance should go into the equation. I would strongly factor in reliability. Our son has a God Mother that is about 20 minutes away and his God Father is 5 hours away but is still a very important person in our son's life. Our daughter's God Father is about 10 minutes away and her God Mother is 5 hours away (no not the same family) and again she is always there for our daughter, very supportive and very reliable if something were to happen to my husband and/or I.

you could ask the same set of godparents if they would be godparents to this child. we are godparents to a little girl. her older sister's godparents just disappeared and the parents asked if we could be godparents to the sister also. we have been around her since birth and love them both so we said yes.

God Parents are suppose to look after your childs religious upbringing should you not be able to do that. What if you were to find people that would best help your child learn the faith you have chosen?

My idea of a godparent is to ensure that they are raised in the church. They are not the default guardians, although they could be if you wish. I was "supposed" to be my niece's godmother, but my sister flim-flammed, and I wasn't. So, when my son was baptized, we went with local friends. We are not the godparents of their kids and that is okay. For my daughter we decided that we want my sister and bil to have that extra connection.

I had uninvolved godparents growing up. My sister had a great godfather that is an "uncle" to us both. I'm sure that if something had happened to our parents we would have gone with him, but not because of the godparent relationship, but because he is a good friend and man.

Several of the posters are mistaken about the role of Godparents. Their purpose is to raise your children in your chosen faith should you be unwilling or unable to do that. They are supposed to be involved in the religious and personal lives of your children. They are not legal guardians if something should happen to you unless that is what you have set out in your will. In the absence of a will, the court will choose guardians in the best interests of your children. You probably already know that, but many on this website do not.

That said, my two boys have the same godparents. My husband is an only child, and I have only one brother. We didn't have friends we felt could fill the role so we just went with the same set of godparents for both kids--my brother and my husband's aunt, with whom he was very close as a child. I wouldn't necessarily let geographical distance be the determining factor. I generally prefer to go with family relationships since I figure they are more likely to remain solid relationships over time. However, my parents are godparents to two boys who are sons of two different sets of friends. Those "godchildren" are now in their 30s and have their own kids, and my parents have remained close and involved with both their "godchildren" and their parents. Good luck with whomever you choose and congratulations on the upcoming baptism.

God parents are different than legal gaurdians. If you think your long distance friends will be able to be involved - even minimally, then they would be a fine choice for God parents. That said, you should choose the same legal gaurdians for both your children and distance/involvement is a much more important factor.

In my mind, Godparents have a spiritual obligation to your children and in the event you are not available...may become the guardian. My children have the same Godparents because if I am out of the picture, I need there to be a little unity for my kids sake. Technically, in my will, if something happens to me and daddy, my brother would raise my kids. But if he isn't available, then thier Godparents would do it. Unless you have a differant definition of what a God Parent is, I don't know why they would be differant.

My husband told me that the children should have the same godparents. If, God forbid, something happens to you, you would want both of the children together, no?

Our kids have the same Godparents.

If the god parents to the first child have a great relationship with the child why not make them the god parents of the second? explination to everyone else being that you dont want the children being split up in the case that something happens.

I would vote against having godparents at a distance. My son's Godfather only lives 2.5 hours away, yet we haven't seen him (or even talked much) in the past 5 years (my son is 9 now). My husband insisted he be the Godfather b/c husband is the Godfather of his daughter; so I guess I wouldn't put too much weight on the "reciprocal" Godparents, either. If you are close (not distance-wise) to your siblings, I'm all for that. My vote always leans toward family, if possible. I know it's a difficult choice! Good luck!