With my kids, in addition to whatever "punishment" they may have, i ALSO tell them why. ie: "When you play this game you get sassy. YOU know that, too. So, you cannot play it, until I observe that you are aware of yourself."
So then, when my son or daughter does get the privilege returned, THEY know... that they MUST be, more cognizant of their attitude.
I TELL my kids, it is their attitude. NOT the gadget's, fault.
Also, you don't even have to let your daughter do or have Face Time.
From the beginning, you should have had rules, about her iPod.
AND you need parental controls on it/passwords that she cannot have. And only YOU should be able to buy or download things to it.
AND you should be the one, that "approves" whatever app or game she wants to download. On her iPod.
So what if she bought it herself.
She is still a child, and you are the parent, and YOU make the rules, for it.
WITH her gadget, comes responsibility and PROVING that, to her parents. Or, you can take it away, completely.
The thing is, kids nowadays, have play-date/socials, online or via things like Face Time or instant messaging... from their devices. AND yes, it can affect their attitudes. AND the level of their appropriateness or inappropriateness, too. BUT, the parents... HAVE TO, know, what their kid is doing on it.
My daughter is 10. LOTS of her classmates do things like that, Face Time, Instagram, social networks. AND the parents, do not know. The kids just sign up for their own accounts, making up false ages and whatnot. To sign up.
And what is wrong, with just telling your daughter NO. NO more Face Time. AND the kids you are interacting with, are inappropriate.
Though my daughter is tech savvy, and has an iPod etc., she has her own mind. I have just taught her since she was a Toddler, that she be herself, not a copy cat, and to go DISCERN what is going on. So she does. Though her friend is a text/tech addict, she is not. She will even tell her friend "stop texting me.... I'm busy." Or she simply turns it off.
You need to tell your daughter... that either she is a follower/copy cat... or she has her own, mind.
AND put limits on the length of time she can be on it.
AND that, you can look on it ANY time, too.
SHE has to prove, that she is responsible and is making good choices about friends and all the "drama" on those devices.
Then, per Face Time... IF my daughter's friend asks to do that with her... my daughter will ask me, first IF she can. And I can say no, or yes.
And I have said NO to her before. I tell my daughter... "Using Face Time, is not up to your friend. It is up to ME. Your friend, CANNOT just do it whenever she wants. We are busy now, it is 8:00pm. And you are not just a reaction to her calls. YOU control it too. And me. Your friend would be on that thing 24/7 if she didn't sleep at night. But we don't live on our gadgets."
My daughter, ALWAYS will ask PERMISSION.... to use it. SHE is not allowed, to just use it whenever SHE wants to. Even if she is fully tech savvy about these devices and computers.