Getting Twins to Clean Room

Do they need a room? That is a privilege. My daughters went through that stage and I finally took away the room. I packed everything up and gave them a mattress, pillow and blanket(I even took the door off the hinges) . It took about a week before the funniness ended and they earned items back one by one but if I found them on the floor then they lost it again.

Good luck from another Army wife,
D.

WOW, I was gonna suggest threatning with throwing the toys away but guess that wont work, see as tho that was already done. I was gonna say tell them for every toy that is on the floor you will go in with a green bag and put the toy in the bag and throw it away.

Take all the toys away and say until they can learn to keep the room clean they will never get the toys back.

have you tried electroshock therapy? JUST KIDDING. :) my son doesn't ever want to clean his room either, he's almost six, and it's so infuriating! i only have singles, no multiples, but i've been told often in my job that one twin will often "sabotage" the other...have you tried separating them and making them clean the room separately on different days? then if one does poorly he has to put up with the other being upset at the extra work load. good luck!

Getting any child to clean a room can be challenging. But, I have heard of a website (www.housefairy.org) that gets children to do it willingly. Basically, it's a reward system. But, you're not the one doing the rewarding (at least not that your kids know)...Santa's sister is (aka the House Fairy). She makes surpise visits and if the room is clean, they get a treat (It could be crafts to make, or stickers to save up for something bigger the child really wants like a bike). The lady who does the website has been around for forever in the "self-help house cleaning" area. I believe her name is Peggy and she was one of the authors/inventors of the Side-Tracked Home Executives book/cleaning process.

Hi T.,
I have to say that I disagree with mis-leading your children.
They are only six years old and if one understands that the average age of a child to completely dress themselves: from the teeth down to tying their shoes is actually age nine, then maybe one will understand that keeping their room clean is a harder task then they can actually conceptualize.
Maybe start with: what I like to call the "one by one" rule in my home--when you pull one toy out, it has to be put back before another toy comes out. IF they have too many toys in their room to begin with,(together as a group you put them all in bags) then start out with their two favorite toys and have them just manage those two toys and eventually one by one the other toys can come back in, as they learn the proper placement and rule of "one by one".
Of course it will be up to you to explain the task to them on their level and with your mommy speak. With twins, you may actually have four toys to start because one twin will have two favorites and the other twin may have two other favorites, but that will be for you to decide, you may just make them have one each.
They will catch-on. It just takes time. Just like having everything lined-up and ready for school. IF everything is line-up and ready the night before, the less stress for you and for them in the morning: no rushing, no yelling, no crying before going off to school.
I hope the suggestion helps. Good Luck and God Speed,
Especially with another following in their foot-steps.
M. N. p.s. I salute you, ARMY MOM, my DAD is retired ARMY.

This took me years to learn: CLOSE THE DOOR! If they don't keep it organized, who cares. It's them that have to find that certain something. Go ahead and pile the stuff on their beds when you need to vacuum. Believe me they'll get the point after a while. It's easier to put it away than having to keep moving it. If they have that many toys, maybe it is time to purge a few. Giving them back means empty threat.

Good Morning T., You have a very full plate my dear. Boys are sometime hard already to get them to be *human* and you have twins.. WOW ;)

I think what your doing is great, just keep at one thing even if at first it doesn't work it eventually will.
Our son's are grown now 33-31, but when they were 10-8 they started doing their own laundry. I had to get a stool for them to reach the dials etc. Why you ask! Well this mom was really frustrated to find their freshly washed, folded cloths either back in the hamper or under the beds. They were to busy or lazy to put them away, which was all I had asked them to do. When they found out how much time went into washing, folding and putting them away correctly they did a better job. They had to rotate who would be washing cloths first each sat morning.

I think T., I would go back to removing anything left on the floor each night. And Not give it back for a very very long time. Every night if there are still things left laying around before bed time it gets taken too. Hope you have some BIG tubs ;) When all of the favorite things are put away they will have to find other ways to entertain them selves. Play out side, read, etc

Hang in there T., personally I think your doing great as active as you are. Good Job

Always K.
Nana of 5 in Benton, Ks

This can be frustrating. They are old enough to put toys away. I know you tried a version of this, but maybe bring them up to their room, explain to them that it is not your job to clean up their toys, it is their job. If they want to have toys, then they need to be cleaned up after thy are used. Tell them that they are to clean up and whatever is left on the floor when the timer goes off, they have to throw away in a bag. You can later decide what to do with them together, like "earning" them back, or giving them to charity if they have too many toys to keep track of, etc.

After this, whatever is left on the floor from then on at the end of the day before bed, goes into the bag. You may need to stay close by for a few days/weeks and teach them how to put something away before they get something else out. This is a skill that may need to be taught and can take some time.

This may seem a little extreme, but if you have tried everything and nothing has worked, you may want to try it.

I have never tried this but it has come to mind before. If the kids LOVE their room and love to play in it kick them out of it. ground them from their room unless its bed time. Im sure you will need to add to but just a tiny tip. Let me know if this is an adoptable cure for messy kiddos. Thanks

HI ,T.. I am impressed with all the things you have done to try to get your boys to clean their room. I would think one of these would have worked. What about not going somewhere they like until their room is clean? You can state it like this "we will go or do this when your room is clean." Boys are just messy by nature. I have an 8 year old, and we go through the same things. Maybe not having a friend over or going to the pool until their room is clean will be a motivation for them. I wouldn't recommend taking away something that you have to do, or that will not be effective. It is good you follow through with your threats- that is so important. Sometimes, if we put too much emphasis on cleaning, it can make the problem worse. Take a step back and try having them pick up small areas when they are done, or one or two things first before they have to clean the entire room in one sitting. Good Luck!

Wow, you are a busy lady! It does sound like you have tried most of the usual strategies. You can look at this a couple of ways. Discipline literally means to teach. If you boys needed to learn to read and were having trouble, you would keep at it. So, your boys may just be slow learners in this area and you'll just have to keep up the incentive/punishment strategies.

Another way to look at it is that they are part of a family and as such have responsibilities to the family. If they can't pull their weight to help the family then they forego some of the privileges, family trips to the park, family gatherings, maybe even family dinner. They can have something in their room.

Yet another thing to consider is your expectations. Exactly how clean do you want this room? My son had problems with the charge to "clean your room". He really didn't know what you meant. If you told him to put all his legos back in the bin and put the bin in the closet, he would do that. Then I would tell him to put his clean clothes from the laundry basket into the appropriate drawers, he could do that. "Clean your room" was too vague, too big.

Lastly, don't clean their room. If it gets too messy, close the door.

whatever advice you use I am glad you are holding them accountable for their actions. That is what All kids need and want. It may take some time to find the right routine but I would not just close the door that is creating a lazy and unappreciative adult. Just be constistant with them. Sometimes they need to see what some dont have to appreciate the things they do have. sometimes we take for granted the nice things we are priveledged to have. My kids did not have the best but we made the best with what we had. So maybe find pictures of the under priveledged and show them how blessed they are and that blessings can be taken away also. Good Luck God Bless

Hi T.-
There is a program online that I heard works really well. It's called the House Fairy (www.housefairy.org).
It's a fun easy way to get your child(ren) to do chores, cleaning, organizing around the house. It gives them something to work towards, without making you the bad guy.
There is a small fee, but it really does seem to help from some of my friends that have used it.

There is an online program called House Fairy that is to encourage kids to clean their rooms. Here's the link: http://www.housefairy.org/ It's very cute, but some of it can cost if you subscribe online. I do a modified (aka FREE) version, though. I just had my kids watch a little of the online videos on the site and then whenever they make their beds, there is a nickel that appears sometime in the day. I tried other little trinkets, but it wasn't easy to keep up with them, so I stuck to a nickel.

I have also broken their rooms into zones (zone 1=bed, zone 2=floor, zone 3=desk or dresser top, zone 4=book case, etc.,) an idea which I got from www.flylady.net. That way they aren't overwhelmed with the whole room and I can assign just one zone. I have House Fairy leave a quarter if the room is clean by the end of the day (or a dime if it's partly cleaned, etc.) It helps my girls with self-motivation. Sometimes I make them clean, and other times I just remind them they get to choose if they earn a House Fairy prize. Look through the flylady.net site (free) and you can get lots of ideas for kids rooms.

One other thing I do that helps a lot is to not allow screen time (tv, computer) unless they are dressed and bed made up. That gets the day started faster. Good luck!

i took EVERYTHING away. down to dressers and bed. i do not have twins, though.God bless ya! made the boys (all three) earn everything back, one thing per week, if they had enough "tokens". you'd be suprised that most of the stuff they didn't want back! once this happened,i began to rally realize how much CRAP they had. they were so overwhelmed by the stuff. ya know... i knew they had too much, but i didn't realize how much too much!
if you'd like more info on my token system... let me know.

T.,

The "cleaning of the room" is an interesting thing--for sure-I even went so far as to take most all of the toys out of my chidlren's rooms--and just have books in there-to help prevent this--and to help make it seem that that is NOT the place to play--with another room designated as the play room. But there is an issue with that also--but then again you might not have the "room" to do this-SO here are a few hints of what else I have done-is that the boxes with the pics is a great idea, but tyr saying that there is only one box out at a time-and that box has to be put up with ALL of its contents BEFORE they get out another. Another thing to do is not to punish them per se even thought this kind of it-- but to say that "as soon as they get the toys back in the box then" does that make sense?--you see you can use that in most anything and everything to avoid a fight-or them being obstinate with you--like don't ask if they want to put on their jacket ask them if they want to put their left hand in first or their right hand in!--they have a little bit of choice and they think that they are in charge--KWIM? Another example is when it is tiem to go to bed--don't say do you want to brush your teeth--say something like this--do you wnat to brush your teeth before or after you get your pajamas on-? OR-- when they have not done what you told them to do then you say-- AS soon as you do-this or that- Like this pick up your toys then you can go outside or something- whatever it is that you want them to do. you have to convince them to do what you want them to do.

The main point is not to have a power struggle with them-- getting them to do what you want them to do--easier is best--
Another idea--is to take a picture of their room whenit is all in order -- and put it up-- even the certan areas-- and ask them -- does your room look like the picture? so they have a model of what to do--

I woudl always ask them if they are wready for me to go check their room when they came to me-- and also ask do you need a little more time? this sometimes give them a chance to finish.

Another thing that I use a lot--even still-and for me too-is the timer--I set it and say ok you have so much time--and it is usually about 15 minutes and then I will go check on them--even a small one in their room that they can see how much time they have left might work--and that can work with anything basically!--like getting ready to leave the house which was always a hard time till I did the timer--but I always gave us 5-10 minutes left--so it can be reset-again--and they be told ok now we have just 5 minutes till we leave--this also helps them to get readyy instead of just saying time to go--we all need prep time I think.

Hope this helps
Michelle

We have a rule at our house... anything that is not picked up/put away by bedtime will be thrown away. Be sure you are ready to go through with it or otherwise it will never work. About a half hour before bed, I ask my daughter (who is now 8) if she needs to go pick up her room. And she goes. Then she does a sweep of the living room and my room to make sure there are no strays. We began using this plan when she was 4 and we have NEVER had an issue with cleaning up.

I grew up in a house without structure and it's really been a struggle for me to create a system to function in now that I'm a full time working wife & Mama! My Mama closed the door, and I DON'T thank her for it!

I think it's so very important that you set them up for success now - avoid painful binge cleaning and CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) later in life...

I have been using www.flylady.net for resources for me and will use www.housefairy.org when my son's old enough.

I recommend both highly - they've changed the way I think about housework entirely and made my home a different place - for the oh-so-much-better!

T.

And thanks for the service your Husband is giving this country and the service you're giving, being at home to support him!

Hello im the mother of 7 year old twin girls who are no better than your boys t cleaning their room. i think its the age and having too much stuff to begin with! my girls are very spoiled and have way too much in the way of toys. They don't keep their room clean either and getting them to put their laundry away is a joke too. I think they are old enough to be doing these things, don't you? I did develop the mommy buks system at home. I work full time in an office so I printed up some mommy buks and I have a list o expected chores that you dont get buks for. But there is a list of other chores and unnamed chores that are rewarded with buks if they do them without complaint. They save them up and for 25 they get Dairy Queen treat, 45 mommy/daddy date or a video game/movie. It has been working very well. They love getting to go with mom alone. They pick where we eat and what we do all evening. works great! Hope it helps. Y.

magic wand!

:) L.

I would suggest that the three of you go into the room and make up a game the boys would like to get them to clean their room. Making the chore out to be something fun vs. something that is not fun might get them to clean more often. I found that it does help at that age to go in and help them clean otherwise they get distracted and start playing with them rather then put them away.

Hi, T.. How fun for you to have twins! I am a mom, grandma and a child therapist. We know from child research that kids respond best to clear instructions and expectations. It is best to give three simple instructions about what you mean when you say, "clean your room." I remember when my own son was told to "clean his plate" in order to open Christmas presents. He responded by picking all the food off his plate, laying it on the table, and then wiping the plate "clean" with his napkin:) Funny now that he is 28. So, at only age 6, your guys may be misunderstanding "clean your room" and they may be overwhelmed at the idea of whatever they imagine. Instead, try saying three things like, "Put your toys in the toy box, pull your blanket and sheet up on the bed, and put your shoes in the closet." Then when they do this, heap on the praise! We also know from child research that punishment is the least effective form of discipline (training). Reward and praise is the most effective, because children really do want to please their parents and they really do want to believe that they are "good." You might try a week-long sticker chart that they can cash in for a certain prize at the end of the week for following all the instructions. This is also teaching the "real world" skills, because we adults will follow instructions at work for the reward of a paycheck:) It can be frustrating to tell kids over and over to do something, but kids need repetition in order to learn, so don't take it personally. In the end, they will grow up and you will wish they were back home messing things up a little:) And they will look back and thank you for teaching them to be responsible for their things and their life.

T.,

First, the good news....they do outgrown it!!! My son was a bear to get to pick up his toys when he was younger now his room is nearly spotless and he yells at me if I leave my shoes where I kick them off. He is 17.

I can't actually take credit for him learning that behavior, it was my Army (now retired) husband that deserves all that credit!! :-) I give it proudly. I want to explain that when I met my husband my youngest son was barely two. I was a widow with three children (8, 4, 2). He did a wonderful job loving my children as his own!! when he had four of his own already!!!

He would do as several of them suggested, he gave my son a certain amount of time to pick up his toys. After that time was up if my husband went in his room and his toys weren't picked up, my husband usually put him in time out in the room where he had to look at the toys that didn't get picked up for a certain period of time. Then my husband would go in and my son would have to explain why he left those toys on the floor and what he was going to do to correct it. He would give my son a chance to get the "rogue" toys picked up. It didn't take long before "all" the toys got picked up so he didn't have to sit in time out....he hated time out!!

I don't know if that would work for your boys, but their punishment should be instant so they associate it to the crime (not getting the toys picked up). Taking away privileges like desserts and TV for a week might confuse them because it isn't related to the "crime."

It's funny, as I am typing this my son goes, "Mom, I have got to clean my room!" LOL See! There is hope!

I hope this helps a little!!! :-) I never had twins but always told my son he was my twins because he had the energy of two!

Good luck on training your boys and on your degree!

N.

I hope this may help. I would remove all their toys from their bedroom. Then, when they start cleaning their room (as good as a six year old can) then resume to adding a toy for their efforts. Just hold out for as long as you can. But only add a toy one at a time. If they start going backwards again continue to remove any toys they have earned. Make sure that staying in their room as a punishment is a punishment.I hope this helps. Just don't give up!

T., Do not think you are alone trying to get kids to take care of their toys. And, I don't have any miracle answers. Today's kids just have to many toys to play with. Maybe limiting how many toys they have at one time would help. Gather every toy they have; let them pick three and pack the other's anyway. 30 minutes before bedtime everyone (including Dad when he is home)head's for the bedroom; even the baby (teach her now to take care of her things). Mom takes one twin, and Dad takes the other and all help each other to clean up. Play with them as you put away the toys. Say good night to each toy as it is put away. End the activity with a bedtime story; time together is priceless. Every three to six months let them pick three new toys that have been packed away and pack away the ones they picked earlier. When they have learned to take care of three toys at a time then maybe they can have all their toys back. Sounds like a plan. Let me know how it works for you and your family. You will still be picking up toys. You will just be doing it together. You will also be teaching them to help others. This is a good thing as so many people have forgotten how to help others in a time of need. Good luck. Hugs, L.