Getting More Involved

When your son wants to go play catch, tell him to ask his dad himself. Maybe you could tell him to say you don't throw the ball right or something (unless you don't want to look bad!). Most dad's find it hard to say no, especially if there's a chance to show you up! If he still refuses, it could be he's burnt out on baseball (which is still no excuse but a reason). Tell him you hate to sound like a nag, but he's not going to see his own son's first homerun, or be in any of the pics or videos because he didn't care enough to be there (don't tell him in front of your son though!). I read in a book that children get their self-confidence from their father. His involvement in his life now is very important and will shape the person he is later in life. Hope everything works out!

well I'm was a single mom at one time with 2 girls and i know about dad not being involed, in my opinion #1. i would not live with a man that i was not married to because that is hard on a child if they get attached to that person and you are breaking their heart again and that is hard enough for you let alone a child.another thing is if this man you live with is interested in you he need to be interested in your child as well, you are not the only one in this relationship and it never will be in any relationship you have so think of your son first not just your self remember you can't be selfish, and i think thats hard when you are a single mom or dad for anyone and as for the dad there is nothing you can do about him he will either figure it out or not. you just need to be a good mom you can't be both and no one is going to take the place of your sons dad. no matter what you think or wish for my daughters have so much trouble with it, all you can do is love him and as he grows up try to get him to talk about is feeling about dad or get him a counselor , one of my daughters is in counseling right now and she doesn't talk about her feeling very well like her dad, and she's doing ok just catch it be for he starts to act out because it is so hard, and just go to all the games because he will always remember you were always there and he can count on you. Don't be so hard on yourself these kids don't come with a owners manual these are just things I've seen and experienced that i'm sharing with you . Be Blessed Rosie

I say you are your mother go out every Sat. and leave the boys at home. Maybe this will help. If you are worried about them not eating, leave hot dogs and pizza to eat. Your b/f is being lazy ask him to pick up the slack or you are going to take your son out of a sport he loves b/c you can't do it all. But don't really take him out. Hey if you have a brother/father/friends that can go out and practice with him let them. And when you get home get your B/F JEALOUS with all the attention your brother/father/friends are getting. Say stuff like "Man, your son name, we had so much fun today w/brother/father/friends what do you think do you think daddy can beat them or are brother/father/friends better at baseball". Men are competive is maybe this will spark a fire under his ***. Sorry I just hate when father's don't step up to the plate. My husband dream's would be to have our son play but our son is mostly into drawing and dinosaurs.
hope this helps,
Leti

I felt the same way about my husband for some time when it came to our daughter. She is now ten and makes him be involved. I was always the one to review and sign home work, but now we take turns, but because she initiated it. It's the same with going to church, he just did not want to go, but since my daughter started going and talking about it to him, he got up last Sunday and went with us. It's going to have to come from your son, because your boyfriend may feel that you are just on his back about things like this and maybe coming from your son he'll take it a little lightly and finally see the light. I know that I prayed for a while to get my husband to go to church with us, to help me with our daughter, to help me more around the house . . . well the first two were answered and he's coming around on the third. Best of luck to you and know that you are not the only one.

HE NEEDS TO BE INVOLVED AND SOMETHING DOES NEED TO BE SAID!!!
THAT IS A FATHER/SON THANG!! I KNOW !!
I HAVE A 5 YR. OLD SON MYSELF! AND MY HUSBAND IS ALWAYS PRACTICING W/HIM, TAKES HIM TO THE PARK TO PRACTICE!
AND WHEN MY HUSBAND IS NOT WORKING! HE IS ALWAYS AT THE GAMES
AND PRACTICES!!! THAT IS A PURE LAZY,DOESN'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED SITUATION!! AND IF I WERE YOU THINGS NEED TO CHANGE!!
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE DOING THE PRACTICING! AND ALL THE EFFORT!! GOOD LUCK ~

This sounds like my husband. Two of our three boys are also in baseball and my husband will not go outside and practice with them. My mother and I were doing it, but now I am 21 weeks pregnant and I can't really get into it like I used to. So it is only my mother doing it when she can. My husband will only play football with them every once in awhile if they beg him. But he doesn't like baseball and will not play it, even though the boys love doing it. The park thing, he has never gone with us, I go by myself. He used to not want to go out to eat until I started bitching about it and then he finally started to go every Sunday after church with me and the kids. He would say that we have to many kids and he can't handle them in public. But I have talked to him and he is starting to get better. I would just talk to your boyfriend and let him know that you want a family life, not being a single mom and having to do everything yourself. My husband used to use the excuse, he worked all week and went to school full time and he didn't get home till around 8:00 at night and on the weekends he wanted to beable to relax and enjoy some alone time. I had to tell him that there is no alone time when you have a family. I had to remind him that his kids only saw him for an hour a day during the week and on the weekends they wanted to spend time with their daddy. He has gotten better, but we still argue about some things. I try to bring the boys to the movies every other Saturday and he will not go with us and I don't think that will change cause he does get imbarrassed when the kids are loud when they are suppose to be quite. He doesn't understand that their are always other kids who are louder and act up. So if I was you I would just talk to him and tell him that things have to change. Good Luck and I hope everything works out for you. Just remember your son will always remember you and him spending quality time together and that is a very good thing.

Although I can not give advice to you. I am having the same problem. My husband did the same with buying the gloves and everything but he is such a hermit that we (me and my son) were out all day Sunday working in the yard and he stayed inside and watched movies.

D. S