Hi C. -
I have to agree, its a man thing. We think differently and the communication sometimes just goes right on by (in one ear and out the other syndrom). I was feeling just the same way for years. One thing you need to do is sit down and talk, during a time that wont be stressful. Cant be during any football or NASCAR in my house lol. Tell him you feel things are getting way out of balance and your losing the "relationship time" and "you" time. You would like to take a weekend to go visit someone and have him watch the baby. (that will show him what you do and help him appreciate you more!)
Talk about him maybe doing the laundry or folding it while watching tv to help you out some. (if he's sitting watching tv, why not? my husband folds all the laundry while watching tv, big help!)
Then talk about having a time once a month where you go out, just the 2 of you, for dinner. That will keep your relationship time special and if money is tight, then maybe every other month. You need to have special time to work on your relationship. This is usually the thing that goes away first with infants and young children. We are always taking care of them, house, job and dont feel the extra energy to work on a relationship or trying to make ourselves feel special.
This is when it is the most important time to do this, go get your hair done, a manicure, pedicure whatever, pamper yourself occassionally to keep the "you" feeling like a million! The saying 'if mom's happy the whole families happy' is for a reason!
Also, schedule a "family" time. Maybe a walk in the park or after dinner around the block. Play catch or tag, fly a kite anything you enjoy together.
If you tell him how you feel, hopefully he will understand and if its not during a "yelling" match, then it may stick in his head. I find that the more I yell and "nag" I get tuned right out, but if I hold a conversation and ask for help, then I get cooperation.
But I have to say, we have to realize as women, we do so much more! We are a multi-tasking super mom and Men just dont get it. We worry about a clean house, work, kids and feeding them proper etc. Men just go w/ the flow. There is nothing wrong with that (frustating yes) but sometimes you just have to let it go. So the house is messy and we eat cereal for dinner, the kids enjoy it.
Remember to always take time for you to recharge and collect the sanity that gets yanked at daily, tuck it nicely back into place and you will be set for the next bump in the road of life.