My good friend is unemployed and has a 10 month old. She is offering to watch my kids from time to time, for which I would happily pay her. Sounds like a win win right? Well - - I want them to be watched at my home, for a couple of reasons, but she wants them at hers. Most importantly, we live in a much safer neighborhood. I do not trust my friend's area, as she has told me about the gang leaders who are her neighbors and how she found a drug paraphernalia on the street when walking to the park one day. Then there was a shooting just about a block away from her. She would not understand if I told her my concerns, as she feels kids are better off for knowing the dangers of the world and how to handle them. I think they are too young to be exposed to those things (ages 4 and 2) and I want them protected. I really could use her help, but only on my terms (eg. at my house)and I don't want to stress our friendship. Anyone have any good advice? Maybe I just shouldn't even ask her.
Depends what you really mean by BAD area.
Hard to say what to tell you since there are gangs and drugs in just about every neighborhood.
Don't even ask her. If you're not comfortable with where your children would be spending their time, it's not worth it. These things can and do happen anywhere, but if it's common in her area, why risk it? Have you tried sittercity.com? I've had some good luck with the sitters on that site. Best of luck to you.
Your children's safety comes first. I would not ask her again .If you want to remain friends and not offend her I would drop it and find someone else.
If it were me, I would tell my friend I was looking for someone to come to my home to watch my kids, if she knew of anyone to recommend. If she offers to watch at her house, let her know that you would really rather have someone come to yours. If she won't come to your house, I would look elsewhere. If you are really in need of her help, maybe you could do it on a trial basis, while looking for someone else in case it doesn't work out. Child-care issues are never fun. Best of luck to you!
I would not do it. Even if you talked yourself into it, you would probably spend all day worrying about your kids there. Small children do not need to be introduced to the dangers of the world and how to handle them at ages 2 and 4!!!! You are aware of the dangers, so you can be proactive here and not even take your kids there. Yes, there are dangers everywhere, and even in safer neighborhoods, but this is a situation you know about beforehand. Gangs, paraphernalia, and shootings are not an environment you would otherwise willingly take your children into. If it were me, I would save myself the fear and worry and not even try it.
I don't know. I completely understand your fears. No matter how much you trust her; there is no guarantee as to what others around her will be doing, not caring who is caught in the middle. However she does live there, do you trust her judgement? If not than I wouldn't leave your kids with her at all. How come she isn't willing to come to your house? Wouldn't it be easier for her having your two kids in their own house. Here baby has her Mom with her and will be entertained by your kids. Is she worried about naps? Do you have a pack and play? Once she gets used to napping at your house it would be a piece of cake. Food for thought. Be blessed.
It sounds like a tough situation. On one hand, I wonder how much a 4 year old and 2 year old would *really* be exposed to those things. Sure, if your friend is taking all the kids for a walk, they could come upon someone your neighbor knows is in a gang (etc.), but no one has to actually explain those things to your children. You are absolutely right -- there is no reason a 4 and 2yr old needs to learn about those things yet.
On the other hand, I wouldn't like the idea of my kids being in a very high-risk neighborhood, even though they wouldn't know it themselves. If this is a non-negotiable for you, I'm not sure I would ask. Especially if you already feel that she would be offended. Your neighbor could take it in a very negative way (i.e. the bad neighborhood is good enough for her kids, but not for hers.)
I hope you find a happy solution to your childcare situation!
Like the other advices, I would definately urge her to come to your house. Leave out the my neighborhood is safer than yours so that she doesn't get offended. Try to play the situation to her benefit to bring her child to your house, are you closer to a park or library? Maybe suggest it is easier for her to get one child ready, than it would be for you to get two kids ready, you already have everything her 10 month would need as opposed to her not having everything for a 4 & 2 year old. How would your kids nap? Would you need to bring 2 pack-n-plays; whereas you probably already have one so she wouldn't need to lug one over. How about your son and preschool or even next fall with kindergarten? If she is adamant on her house then let her know you are sure you want the kids at home. Don't waiver on that. Kids don't need that kind of exposure yet. Good luck.
R.
