California Moms, Do You like Living in California? Is It Really That Bad?

This answer is from a fellow Texan who was born and raised in N California - Sacramento. First of all, you can't compare the answers from SoCal to the answers from NoCal - two totally different states under the same state name. I have lots of friends in Silicon Valley area (S.Bay to San Jose); they love it but it's expensive. It's also very liberal. I grew up in Sacramento which was more moderate, not so for the Bay Area. Just something to keep in mind. People are friendly, but not Texas friendly, lol. I lived in AZ for years before landing in TX and the most welcoming people I've ever met were here. It is beautiful, but traffic is a nightmare all the time. I worked my way through college as a runner for a law firm and routinely drove all over NoCal, it was bad 20 years ago and they've only added 20 years of sprawl since then. Ah yes, sprawl. The poster who said the CA coastal cities were indistinguishable was dead on. One town to the other, don't know which one you are in except for street signs. Similar to Dallas/Ft Worth - but much much larger. Housing is still outrageously expensive. I went to public school, but all my friends who still live there send their kids to private school. You can't pick out an area with google and a map - you have to see it. You can have beautiful neighborhoods a block from the ghetto.

Anyway, I loved Sacramento and want to take my kids there for a visit, but don't have any desire to move back.

There's a reason for the added expense and congestion in California. It's a beautiful place and lots of people want to live there.

I grew up in So Cal and spent time all over the state. I love it. There are good communities and family friendly neighborhoods, beaches, mountains, hiking, shopping, sports, good schools, great diversity. You just have to look. Go, explore. You may decide it's not for you long-term, or you may love California. If you have tthe chance to go, give it a try.

Wow! I'm a little offended :) I never knew CA had such a bad reputation. I LOVE CA, have traveled to many states and would never live anywhere else. The weather is great and there are so many options of things to do for day trips, weekend trips, or longer. In general, people are pretty open-minded and accepting and allow people to be who they are. BTW, San Jose is not really the Bay Area.

California is beautiful, amazing and rather surreal. Sometimes I feel like I'm actually living in a really long tampoon commercial. I live a mile from the ocean, can let my kid be bare foot in the park in December, and within two hours be in San Francisco (greatest city ever), a Redwood forest or like ten top notch hiking spots. I live in Santa Cruz and find it endlessly at least interesting.
Still, I'm from the Midwest and the differences were and still are, often overwhelming. We rent a small ridiculously expensive house. We will never be able to afford to buy it or likely anything else here where the words, $750,000 are often followed by reasonable. The public schools aren't great, there are big city problems with gangs and drugs even in a small town like Santa Cruz. Everything is expensive here from gas to groceries to child care. The air isn't great in a lot of places in CA and neither is the job market..
But DAMN it really is pretty.

I live in Santa Rosa (about 45 minutes north of SF in wine country). I was born and raised here and I LOVE it! I can't imagine living anywhere else. It is so beautiful here and the weather is great. I don't understand the negatives about CA. In some areas the job market is tough, but for good quality workers it's not an issue. Sounds like your husband does well so it's probably not a problem for your family. As for gangs, really? Cmon, there are gangs everywhere. I don't live in a neighborhood where it is prolific. So unless you plan on moving into a ghetto it's a non issue IMO. My kids go to great schools. We have a wonderful quality of life here. Its expensive but worth it!

My family has lived in California since 1846...clearly I am biased. I love this place and will never live anywhere else. I live in the Santa Cruz area. Some negatives: gangs, some poor quality public schools and ridiculously expensive.
Positives: I love where I live. I love my job. My commute is 8 miles down the coast highway. My office at work as a view of the Pacific Ocean. My sons are very active and healthy. They swim year round; they are experienced ocean swimmers. I am surrounded by diversity and I really love that. I am always challenged to learn new things from people who have lives that are very different from mine. People here tend to be a bit more open-minded and accepting of difference and I like that. And the food....oh my goodness. Every Sat. I go to the farmer's market....insanely good produce. Where I live we grow apples, strawberries, artichokes and many other things.... Vacations? Yosemite, the Sierra Nevada, San Francisco, Napa, L.A., and of course, five minutes from our home, fabulous beaches. No time for a vacation, for an hour or so my husband can visit our favorite beautiful winery or go for a hike in the redwoods.

I don't know who these people are who hate California. They're nuts, especially when talking about the Bay Area! I love it in California and grew up in the Bay Area. Our state has far better weather than most of the country, there's a lot of diversity and there's a ton to do.

The big downside to the Bay Area is housing prices. That's what forced us out and to the Sacramento area. As others have mentioned, it's extremely expensive.

As far as gangs, it's no worse than any other major metro area. I'm scratching my head at that one because it's honestly not a huge issue. I really wouldn't worry about it with San Jose. My parents live there and they've never even mentioned that as a concern. Just make sure you buy in a decent area (Silver Creek, Cambrian and Willow Glen are just a few of the decent areas) and you'll be fine. We go to Sharks games downtown and have never worried about safety, even at night.

It's a very educated, liberal area, so if you don't fall into that group, you'll be in the minority. People are friendly, though, so it really shouldn't be an issue unless you hate minorities and/or gays/lesbians.

There are plenty of activities for children there. However, it's a workaholic culture in Silicon Valley, so you won't see children outside playing a lot during the day. People work very long hours. That part, I don't miss about the Bay Area.

As far as schools, my high school in Fremont is consistently ranked as one of the best public schools in the nation. There are good schools in the Bay Area. Any decent realtor can point you to the best areas.

California is a wonderful place to live because of the weather.

Politically, its very very liberal in most places. That's why California has such a HUGE deficit. I've noticed over the years that you get what you pay for. California pays more to welfare addicts than anywhere else in the nation. I used to live in Arkansas and knew a welfare addict that moved to Arkansas to be closer to her mom. She moved back to California because she said she was paid almost three times as much in California than she was paid in Arkansas.

If you like illegal aliens, California is a WONDERFUL place to live. Our jails and prisons have an illegal alien populations that ranges from 20% to 25%. We have great mexican food and its easy to find home-made tamales. They are really good, but they are sold out of the ice chests from the backs of cars in parking lots. (You get the idea.)

There are gang problems, but usually in "That" part of town. I don't go into "that" part of town and haven't had a problem.

Taxes are horrible because the liberals are always trying to out-do each other when it comes to giving gifts of public money to those that don't want to work. And I wouldn't mind that so much, if they only wanted to give their money away. But they want to tax the working people to death to give the public's money away.

If you are a gardener, you'll love it. I have 365 frost free days per year. If I want to see snow, I drive an hour away and go skiing.

Good luck to you and yours.

It's great. I don't know what websites you have been researching on. There's a ton of culture and everything you want to do, within a 4 hour drive.

If you are ultra-conservative, then you won't like the politics, it's true. Also, you don't go to the Bay Area for the ocean. The ocean here is cold and wild -- beautiful but not something you want to swim in. Not true at all about the pollution. I don't know specifically about San Jose, though.

The Bay Area is awesome. But them I'm a somewhat alternative, left-leaning person that likes diversity.

I love California. I wouldn't live anywhere else. I live in the bay area and its great. It is expensive as hell, but worth it. San Francisco is VERY diverse. There is a huge LGBT community-----so you should at the very least be tolerant of it if not supportive. San Francisco is known for being super liberal, anything goes kind of city. There are lots of things to do and its gorgeous. Good luck with your decision. My suggestion would be to come visit for a week or two and see if its a good fit.

California housing is expensive. That is the biggest negative for us. But honestly, there are a lot of things that we don't pay for that other people do... for example, we don't pay ridiculous heating and air bills because the temperature is pretty mild. And certainly will be for you in San Jose. I am originally from Missouri, where we needed summer clothes and winter clothes, snow tires... The cost of living in Ca is more, but so is the pay.

Every big city has it's bad parts. My MIL and SIL live in San Jose and they have no problems with gangs. I have no idea what the schools are like there and that varies around the state. Where I live the schools are excellent.

Honestly, I love California, I moved here when I was 18, left for about a year in between things and then came back. I'm now in my early 40's. The weather is beautiful; you're a few hours from the mountains and the ocean. The food is great... you can get fresh fruits and vegetables any time of the year...

People are pretty liberal, but again... in a big city there are all kinds of people. And certainly you'll be able to find nice people who share your views and interests. Quality of life is what you make it as far as I'm concerned, not where you live.

The politics are a mess and the state is in bad shape financially though.

Take a trip and see the area... I don't know what reviews you're reading, but you can always find the negative review of everything and vice versa. I'd keep an open mind and see for yourself~

Good luck!

I think you need to plan a visit. I do know that finding good schools that are in affordable areas is HARD. The same house in one neighborhood was $50,000 more than on in another neighborhood nearby because the first school was better than the 2nd one. You may need to pay for your kids to ride the bus (cheaper to drive them if you have to pay for mulitple kids) and sometimes school classes get together and "buy" a teaching assistant.

Yes, it's expensive out there. The people who gripe the most are not willing to sell their homes (they weren't before the economic downturn, so they can't really blame it on the economy) because they love living in California and love the weather and ocean. So they put up with all the expense and the politics.

By the way, water is an issue out there, so you may only see green in the pictures. If it's not raining, all you'll see that is green is what people water. So don't be fooled by that.

If you are sure to make enough money, perhaps you can find a nice spot that doesn't have gangs and doesn't cost you two arms and 10 legs. I turned down a move long ago to a lovely place in southern Cal because of the expense. I'm not sorry, either, to be honest. They don't build their structures well enough for the earthquakes, just to add in a sore spot.

I will tell you that when you drive down Highway One, you'll think you died and have gone to heaven... it's THAT beautiful!

Dawn

My mom and sister live close to the Bay area. My sister - Oakland Hills and mom Walnut Creek. I have been there a couple of times and it's definitely it's own culture out there. CA should be made it's own country LOL. As long as you think you are better than people from the mid-west, very liberal, love to pay over 20,000.00 per year for your kids school that you need to be perfect to get into, and eat very very organic and healthy you will love it and fit in great. Otherwise, you may just have some culture shock.

It is beautiful and I don't think you will run into gangs. Don't think about using the public school system.

I live in the north bay, about 45 minutes north of SF, I have also lived in south bay as well. I love the bay area and it is a great place to raise kids. I wouldn't personally want to live in SF but in the counties out side yep! I do t even know why you are getting the idea that the quality of life is bad here. There are so many natural attractions! Anyway, Sonoma county, marin county, San Jose or Santa Clara county I would recommend!

I moved to the bay area from Ohio about 15 years ago (Connecticut prior to that), and am very happy. Cost is definitely an issue. Traffic is bad in some areas, not so terrible in others. I haven't had any run ins with gangs, but I suppose that depends on where you live. I love the cultural diversity, the kids really learn a lot from one another and the food is great! I do miss the change of seasons. The weather is sunny and mild most of the year. Thunderstorms are so rare to be a major event. While I complain about the lack of seasons, I admit that when I head back east I realize I have become a wimp to cold weather and hot humidity.
Can't beat having the beach within an hour's drive! Message me if you have specific questions. Manchester, NH is also lovely. My folks live near there.

I grew up in San Fransico and loved it!!! It is an amazing city with so much to do. Also, you are close to the mountians, Redwood forest, skiing, beach....great place for a family!

I lived in the San Francisco Bay area and LOVED IT.

All of the problems you described are stereotypically Los Angeles, and I lived in Tarzana there and had no problems gang wise. Traffic is a problem in any major city, though it can be worse there. I lived in Novato, which is about 25 minutes north of San Fran. Lovely town, about 1/2 way between the city and wine country. San Rafael is also nice, as is Larkspur (but it's more foggy). The closer you get to the city, the more expensive. I would move back if it worked for us financially. Don't know what the housing market is like - renting is probably a safer bet.

What was nice was being able to drive 3 hours and be in vacation places - Monterey, Tahoe. Just wow.

I LOVE California. Love it! I would never choose to live anywhere else! I live in Southern CA (Irvine) and it is a wonderful place to live. Excellent weather, excellent schools, tons of parks, bike trails, etc. I also lived in West LA for 14 years and liked it there too. Schools aren't nearly as good and it's much more crowded, but there is tons of great stuff to do, places to go, shows to see, etc.

I've never lived in the bay area. The weather there isn't as good as in So Cal, but it's a lot better than VA or NH, in my opinion. No snow, not too much rain, cool in the winters but never freezing. Summers can get very hot, but it's rarely humid and there aren't mosquitoes or other bugs. There are many great suburbs around San Jose and even San Jose itself feels more like a huge suburb than a big city.

People are friendly, though you certainly don't get the small town feel you might get somewhere else. CA is a very diverse state, so you'll get to experience a lot of different cultures.

The biggest downfall, and it is a big one, is the cost of living. CA is very expensive and the bay area is the worst of all. Housing prices are high, taxes are high, prices for everything are high. Hopefully the job he was offered will pay more than what he'd be making in NH or VA to offset the cost (salaries here often are higher because of the cost of living).

I can't imagine living anywhere but CA for very long. I really do love it here. Oh, and as for gangs - yes, there are gangs. They are not really in many of the suburbs though. Do your research and you can easily find a great community near San Jose that is gang free, totally safe, and has good schools.

The only complaint I have ever heard about that part of the country is the expense. I have several friends there and they all love it. I actually HATE California (no seasons), but love San Francisco (nice and cool in summer). The politics stink pretty much everywhere in the country, probably not any worse there. Schools? Bad everywhere, probably decent there since it's so wealthy. I'd personally pick NH, but San Fransisco is really nice as far as I know.

Hellhole? Gangs? Pollution? Ugly? That's LA for sure, but not sure if it's also San Jose.

I've lived here my whole life so I don't have much to compare it to. I've visited a few other states and countries but "there's no place like home". The last couple of years have been brutal but that's not California's fault per se. My husband lost his job and our quality of life has degraded but if you have work and can pay all your bills, it's a great place to live.

I grew up in the Bay Area, just north of San Jose. I thought it was a fine place to grow up, although of course I knew no different. It's very diverse, so you learn to be tolerant. The weather is great. I never had any firsthand experience with gang activity.

That being said, yes, the traffic can be terrible, especially if you live and work in certain areas. It is very expensive, although I will say that salaries are usually commensurate with the cost of living (which is not the case where I currently live). I personally find the weather nicer where I live in Southern California, and I live much closer to the beach now than I ever did when I was in the Bay Area.

I've lived on the East Coast, too, not far from Virginia. California wins, hands down. It's no contest. I couldn't wait to come back.

To answer your topic question, YES I really love living in Ca, and NO it's not bad at all!!!!

I've never lived anywhere else though... don't plan to. I live in SoCal, and its true, we should be two different states (north and south) not because there is any animosity or anything, just that the whole feel is different from north to south... and in my 34 years I don't feel I "know" the whole state... I went up to the oregon border, the redwood forests for the first time in my late 20s and was astonished at what was up there (gorgeous, take-your-breath-away forest) It was not the California I was familiar with but it is... California.

Or maybe it's more like a country, like someone else said, with a different vibe all through it- SO many cool cities though, LA, Santa Barbara, San Diego, San Francisco, Santa Cruz... Humboldt... Love 'em all for their own reasons.

I have only visited the Bay Area, I probably go spend time with friends there once a year. My friends say no one works 40 hours a week there. Everyone works more. I believe they do have a work-a-holic culture there that we don't have so much in the SoCal area. I can't foresee myself in the Bay Area, the weather in SoCal is just better and I love our beaches. But last time I was up there this summer I was taking big old gulps of beautiful fresh air... it's true about the smog in the LA basin. It's a downer. And there is a general air of pleasant-ness in all the suburbs in the Bay Area. Like you know people really like living there. The city is a whole different scene, it's for "city-people" but also very cool if you are a city person! I have a friend or two who are and they can live in the city with no car or just share one car as a couple.

I think its worth it to live in CA just for the proximity to so many awesome places within it- Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, Sierra Nevada, Beaches, really cool cities up and down the coast.

As I said, I have yet to finish exploring this great state, and I've lived here all my life.

I lived there (in between SJ and SF) and it's addicting bc of the weather. And while I was a bit turned off initially by the incredible diversity - I wasn't used to being a minority and hearing people speak languages other than English all the time - I grew to kind of like that. And like people said, it is BEAUTIFUL. So much to do... But I really think it depends on your financial situation. A decent house in a decent area is ~$1mm. So no dream home and a tiny backyard unless you can afford $3-$4mm. And then the schools... Most public schools are not good. The ones that are ok are heavily supported by the parents. ie: schools ask parents to contribute $1000-$1500 per child per year plus other donations to the PTA. And even with that, there usually aren't programs like other areas in the country such as art class, music, dedicated PE teacher. So if you're rich and can afford private school and ~$2mm for a house, it's kind of great bc of the natural beauty,fantastic weather, diversity, vibrance and list of things to do. People who have to have 2 parents work in order to afford a townhouse in a decent town and no way can afford private school too, I'm not sure it's worth it... But beware if you figure you will try it - the weather gets addicting. Oh - I think people are very friendly bc so many people move there versus grew up there. And traffic is tough but no different than other major metropolitan areas. I know Manchester btw as my family lives in NH. It's cute and no income or sales tax unlike CA where people are taxed up the wahzoo on top of the crazy housing costs. But NH is cold obviously... Have you thought about northern CT along the coast? Madison, CT is so nice. I hear Charlottesville VA too is a great place to live.

First off, the beaches are not nice sandy WARM beaches like in So.Cal so don't even factor that in to the equation!

Secondly, the cost of living is EXTREME there, so be prepared!

It's bad if you live near the major cities (as is true for all major cities across the world).

I live in a suburb about 40 miles from Los Angeles and we are totally shielded from any of that stuff, small quiet towns with nice people. The state itself is wonderful to be in. Beaches, mountains, deserts, food, oh the food. I can't live anywhere else. My brother has moved to Dallas and has since moved back "home", my sister lived in awesome Bainbridge Island in Washington and although it was quaint, there wasn't much to do and her family is all about exploring. They finished exploring the NorthWest in 4 years. They are now just outside San Francisco.

I love it and can't imagine living anywhere else. It's a give or take for all states as my friends and family have attested to. Just keep in mind it's a state that is a country on it's own and with so many people, it's going to have more issues than a state with a population the size of my city. Get it? Just stay away from major cities and live just outside of it. Ofcourse it is an expensive state to buy a home but... from what my family has said, you pay in other ways.

EDIT: LOL!!! The gangs are bad. Where are these people living? San Jose doesn't have the same pollution. If you are reading anything that has to do with Southern California, throw it out. Northern and Southern California are practically two different states. Like I said, I live in SoCal and I visit NorthCal often because I have lots of family there. It's a great place to live.

i can't offer a particularly informed opinion, not having actually lived in CA (although i was born there, and have visited to take care of my nieces for a few weeks.) i absolutely loved most things about it. the natural beauty of the pacific coast coupled with that divine, insanely friendly climate, are hard to beat.
that being said, i think CA has been its own worst enemy. i was so sad to see the endless monotonous suburban wasteland, all up and down the coast. the towns have different names but are completely indistinguishable. it's killer expensive, and the traffic around LA is nightmarish. but what saddened me most was how tamed it all is. where i stayed, just outside of LA, the neighborhoods were stunning, beautifully landscaped, walking and running trails, easy access to shops and restaurants and amenities. but the few undeveloped hills were fenced off. the only trees and hikes were through carefully manicured parks. nothing wild anywhere. after a few days i felt so stifled. to get anywhere that nature was just allowed to be would have required hours of driving.
but i'm sure if you're further out that's not such an issue. and maybe not such an issue for most people<G>.
i believe that incomes keep pace with the high cost of living, but if that's not the case for you, it could be painfully expensive to live there. of course the CA economy is in freefall so that might not always be the case.
but if you do move there i'll bet you love it. i think it's gorgeous, even the congested area i saw, and i hear that the northern part of the state is even more so.
khairete
S.

Repubs dont like whats happening in CA, Dems love it. It's a very liberal state. The weather is awesome. Most of us would not leave here even if given the op to do so.

San Jose is great. Lived her my whole life. The place you don't want to live is the "East Side" that is where there might be some gang activity, but SJ is generally a safe town. It is also very big. There are a few other small towns around you might like such as Campbell or Morgan Hill. Pollution is not a problem unless you go to LA. That is where there is smog. The traffic is only horrible during commute times, other than that not so bad. Again that is a SoCal/LA problem. Most people around here go to Santa Cruz to enjoy the beach. Look up Santa Cruz beach Boardwalk to see what to do there. There is a lot to do and see in this area. You will probabaly enjoy living here.

I lived between Sacramento and San Francisco...it was expensive then...i can't imagine how expensive it is now..

I have friends that live in the Bay Area...they too say EXPENSIVE...

It's VERY VERY liberal...so if you are NOT liberal - it will be a HUGE adjustment for you...and that's Nancy Pelosi's area too...

The AREA is AWESOME...it really is...there is NOTHING like a West Coast beach (from the mainland perspective - I've lived in Hawaii too as well as Europe)....I've lived in Southern California (San Diego) and Los Angeles and Northern California - SFO...I've loved something about each area...however...now??? You couldn't pay me enough to live there...

If it's worth it financially for you? Gotta do what's best for the family!

I can't say much about California, I've only been there a couple of times to visit, but I've never lived there. I wanted to chime in if that falls through and tell you about Manchester NH. I have lived in Manchester for 15 years and if you have kids I would NOT recommend you move here. We are having a very serious and very complicated issue with school funding right now and they don't expect the problem to go away anytime soon. The district laid off over 150 staff at the end of last school year and only came up with enough money to hire about 50 of them back. Our kids are in classrooms that have 35+ kids in them. Some rooms don't have space to fit enough desks so kids are sitting on the floor and sharing chairs. The fire department is currently going from school to school and room to room to make sure the fire-codes are being met. One school has kids in the cafeteria because of fire-code violations. If I had young kids I would move. My daughter is a junior in High school and I am counting the day until she's out of the system It's just a mess. And it's too bad, because this city used to be great.

Right now considering the education issues, Nashua and Concord are better options that Manchester. The offer better education systems and are both great small cities to live in.

I have friends and family that live in San Diego, LA, and San Francisco, and I'm from the DFW area. Everything that MamaR posted is spot on. The main thing that I can't get past is how expensive housing is. Of course people make more there than we do here, but not enough to justify the cost of housing. It's crazy! Man, it's a gorgeous place to live, though!

If you are a reader, pick up "The Year of Fog" or "No One You Know" by Michelle Richmond. Those are the titles, I believe. The are fiction but the author lives in San Francisco and writes SO evocatively of that area. And the books were really good!

Hi, here is a perspective from a mom who lived in So Cal all her life and that is all I knew : )
I've lived now in TX for 5 years. WOW weeee what a different world. High crime in Cali, rude people, awful public school system, I don't know if you are conservative but if you are you will have a rude awakening. I would see men dressed like woman on a daily basis. Gangs everywhere. You should also look into the sex predator listing because it is super duper scary. I would NEVER go back. The other element that is missing is just common courtesy to one another and friendliness. I didn't even know it existed until I moved to Texas. I was in shock at how many people would greet me out here and offer help. Something I NEVER got in Cali. Everyone is afraid of Everyone. Minds their own business. (not in a good way) to keep from getting in a fight and So Cal is dirty and graffiti everywhere you look. Huge homeless population and the negatives go on forever. Just one positive Disneyland : ) Good Luck on your decision.

have not read all the answers, but saw this article and wanted to share: http://lifeasmom.com/2012/09/getting-a-good-value-or-why-...