Freakin Out!!!!!!!!

Dear S.!!! You're okay and the baby will be okay! I think every mom-to-be feels that way. You are young enough that a lot of genetic problems shouldn't effect your baby.(especially if you don't have any in either of your families, which it sounds like) As long as you didn't drink or do drugs(which I would think would be the bigger cause of problems in a mommy your age, not so much the chocolate!)you should be alright. Trust me, I was an older mommy, I was scared the entire time right up until my little boy was born(completely healthy) I also had some complications along the way. I didn't have the tests because I felt I would love my baby whether he was healthy or had any special needs.Has your doctor told you the percentage of births with abnormalities? Most are very very low.(even with old eggs like mine were!!:-)My last fear was that our baby would be the most ugly beast even though both my husband and I are relatively attractive. The baby was beautiful to other people (and of course he was beautiful to us!)Every mom goes through what you are going through. There is a saying that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I believe that, you will always have people around you that will help if you need it. There are groups of families that share their lives because of the special needs their children have. Just relax, everything will work out exactly as God has planned!! Take care of yourself and that baby and let us all know how silly you feel when you sit there in the hospital holding your beautiful new HEALTHY baby!!

Hi S.-

The first thing I can say, is relax. If you have verification from your doctor that things are okay, then try not to worry. You have to sit and think, where are these feelings coming from?? And truth be told, one of the worst possible outcomes of this pregnancy, would be for the child to have mental defects. I would say that your feeling fear now more than anything. As long as your not smoking, drinking or any of that crazy stuff....just try to relax. Because stressing out isn't good for the baby either! :)

S.,

It's OK to be anxious, I'd worry if you weren't a little bit! I think every mother worries about their unborn child, even if it's their 4th.

I had my first child only a few weeks before turning 40 and the doctors were the ones who kept freaking me out saying I was old and my risks were high. We had an amnio done and this is the best way to alleviate your fears about any genetic abnormality. The amnio should be done around week 18 while the fetus is still small, but they can be done later in pregnancy if needed. Ultrasounds will let you know if the baby has any physical developmental problems. Both of these will give you the answers and security you need.

By the way, I ate a little bit of chocolate everyday while pregnant, as well as have a little bit of wine or beer on occasion (2-4 oz), and my baby is fine and healthy. So don't obsess to much about what you are eating, a little indulgence now and then is fine and makes your pregnancy more bearable.

I can tell youthat noone knows how to take care of a special needs child until they have one. I can say that because I do have a special needs child. If you trust your Dr, then you should trust that nothing is wrong. Don't 2nd guess yourself about not getting that test done, a lot of people I know haven't had that test done, they tell me their thinking is it wouldn't make any difference, because you really can't prepare for a special needs child. Don't get all stressed out about it, it will only make you feel worse. Try to relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.
Good Luck
Jenn.......

You know what, every mom has those feelings at some point in their pregnancy. I was 29 when I was pregnant with my daughter and can think of two different times when I was positive something was horribly wrong (I was incorrect-- my baby came early, but she was fine). I think it is a combination of your uncertainty and nerves (how in the world am I going to be able to mother a child, etc.) and the incredible surge of hormones that are stirring around in your body. I think the best you can do is monitor how you feel and keep good track of it-- so that you can share your feelings with your doctor. If you notice that certain times of the day you don't feel your baby kicking as much-- things like that-- you might be finding a pattern in the baby's behavior that will help calm your nerves when you think something is wrong. My heart goes out to you-- I remember very well what this feels like and will be thinking about you in the upcoming weeks! Many blessings for a healthy and happy baby.

Hi S.!
I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. I am not even pregnant yet but am Trying To Conceive and am already paranoid about the same things you are. It would be a scary thing and very overwhelming... but you have to remember that regardless the baby is yours and I'm sure you will love him/her no matter what!
You need to trust yourself and trust that you have done everything perfectly and that if something does happen it is out of your control & not your fault.
Always hope for the best and stay positive!!! I wish you the best of luck!
N.

I agree that you might just be freakin out over nothing. I had those fears with each one of my children and they are all fine and healthy. As long as you are doing what you need to do, I say Don't borrow trouble or worry about tomorrow; or Worry over nothing and meditate over everything.
If God Forbid something be slightly wrong with your baby, you will know what to do and do what you need to do. Even when your baby is born healthy you will probably freak out like most of us, worring over what to do and not do. You will figure it out, just have faith in yourself and your capabilities! Congrats on the new baby!

Your solution is simple. Tell, don't ask, tell your dr. you want an amnio test. They're much safer than you think & very little pain. More pressure than anything. Remember, a genetic or chromisomial problem is not & never will be your falt. My baby is 16 months old & has Down syndrome, and you know what? She's just a baby. You love them, bath them, feed them, change their diapers & when the time comes for the "special needs" part, you do that too. Take care & write anytime. M.

Being a parent for the first time can be a very scary concept. Unless the doctor has told you that something is wrong, I would think that it's probably just your anxiety about being a parent. Try not to think about it (even though I'm sure that's hard). If you are really concerned ask your doctor if they can do another ultrasound or another kind of test to ease your mind.

Hi S., first let me start by saying that all new moms worry, so what you are feeling is normal.

I am also pregnant and have been on bedred in the hospital since Sept 26th. I am due to give birth to a son that was diagonosed with a heart defect at my 20 week scan. I have never been around anyone with a heart defect, and didn't know what I was going to do, but since we have found out about his condition, we have educated ourselves, and I am ready to meet my son. In a way he seems more special to me than if he were going to be born healthy. I have already developed such a strong bond, and know that he is my special baby sent to me from God because he needs an angel to take care of him. So basically what I am saying is that your baby is probably fine, but if something were to be wrong with it, you will love it anyway.....hang in there, and be strong, and your baby will be ok
J.

RELAX!!! Take a deep breath!!! RELAX!!!!!!!
Every mom-to-be goes through this. Of course you want a healthy baby, and it is natural to fear the unknown. I did, with both of my girls, and they are both completely normal, happy and healthy. I never had the test either, so yes, I did worry. I don't know if you are religious/Christian, but I saw a phrase one time that really calms me down when I start to worry about things that I have no control over, it read "Relax, God is in control." I say that to myself and it gets me through the tough times. I am sure your baby will be fine. If there was reason to worry then ultrasound will usually find it.

Hi S.-
Being pregnant is probably one of the scariest things any of us ever do. To know that you are responsible for that little life and everything you do can effect it is alot to take in. Thats why every pregnant mother whether 18 and on her first one (which I was too by the way) or 28 and on her 3rd (which I am now) or in any other situation has crazy fears, wierd dreams, and irrational thoughts. It happens to all of us- and it's perfectly normal. As long as you are healthy and trying your best theres nothing else you can do. So try to relax and know that our imaginations tend to run away with us when we're pregnant and just try to focus on something else when that is happening. Good luck with your baby- there's nothing like being a mommy... oh and don't sweat the chocolate- it is by far my biggest weakness in life and didn't effect my first 2 kids :)

Hi S.,
I have relized over the years that a moms intuition is always worth looking into. If you feel that something is wrong then I would go with my gut feeling and ask the dr. to do more tests. I only say this because it will put you at ease to know one way or the other. good luck and I am sure everything is alright. As a mom of three I know the feeling of being over worried, and nervous it is normal.

First calm down!!!! I was 17 with my oldest son and everything you are saying is normal. it's an age thing, you're still young and it's new to you and it's normal to worry, and no chocolate won't hurt the baby, it's the caffine and stuff in chocolate nd you have to eat really dark or large amounts of chocolate before you're in trouble. and really how many ppl cut out all coffee and tea and soda and chocolate when they are pregnant? when is your first ultrasound, or have you had one already, an ultrasound can tell a lot, but if your doctor is saying things look fine so far then they probally are. i atually had serious worries with my third and she was perfect. so don't worry so much, stress isn't good for the baby either, and everything will work out regardless. good luck.

What you are feeling is normal. Pregnancy, especially the first time around, can be stressful and overwhelming. I just had my 3rd baby and I was stressed the entire time b/c the ultrasound showed he had an increased risk for Down's Syndrome. I was a special education teacher and while I know how to work with individuals with special needs, it doesn't make it easier knowing my child could have a disability. I didn't have the Quad screening either. Didn't want to stress myself out even more. But that's me. My baby turned out perfect:) :) :)

If your instincts are telling you something may be wrong, check it out. Talk to your OB at your next appointment about your concerns and how you are feeling. He/she will then either put your mind at ease or run some additional tests.
It sounds like you are healthy and making good choices for you and your baby. I am confident everything is OK but talk to your OB to ease your concerns. You'll feel better and be able to enjoy this miraculous time!!

i think it's something all pregp's go through. but don't worry, if there was something wrong, the drs would've told u. i worked for an ob-gyn for 5 yrs so if you have any ?'s feel free to ask. S.