Hi R.,
Congrats on your pregnancy!! I am sorry it isn't all you had imagined it to be.
Many people have given you their stories and their opinions. I sure hope they are helping you!
Here is mine:
I got pregnant at 25 years old with my 1st child. How excited we were until we went for the ultrasound and they found markers that my son would have Downs Syndrome and referred us to a specialist to have him confirm or deny the findings. He not only confirmed the spot on my son's heart, but also found 2 spots, which raised his chances significantly for Down's Syndrome. He then pushed the phone acrossed the desk and said if I wanted to call my insurance to have them approve an amio, they could do it that afternoon. Any questions?? Is what he said...ANY QUESTIONS??? A million....I was 25 years old and he said that they were now considering me over 35 years with the risks involved. My AFP also came back normal. So, what to do...
We left his office to try to figure out what to do....We asked everyone for their opinion....We had some of the same feelings that you did....
1. "What if"
2. We wouldn't abort
3. What should we do?
Here are the few things that helped us...
1. If you are going to spend the next few months wondering, worrying, then that isn't good for you or the baby...
2. We said we wouldn't abort, and most people say they wouldn't abort either ( I am sure my next comment might offend some, and I dont' mean to. sorry)...but unless you have IN HAND the ABSOLUTE answer that your child WILL have Downs syndrome, I think it is hard to make that determination.
3. Even if the amnio DOES say the baby has Downs, the issue is you wont know the severity. The story from the sister whose nephew ended up with downs is a VERY mild case, but you don't know what the severity of the case will be.
The amnio isn't something that I would want to do everyday. I ended up having 1 with my son and then with my next pregnancy for the same reasons. If you do have it, just be prepared to take it easy for a few days, just to be sure. I feel the more information that you have, the more prepared you are. Even if you wouldn't abort, it allows you to understand what to expect and make plans, like the woman said earlier about finding special needs childcare or different services that are offered. It would be better to find out all options of services before the baby is here, than after when you are tired and trying to care for an infant!
On a brighter note, the amnio will tell you DEFINATELY the gender of the baby. I know they tell you with the ultrasound, but sometimes they are wrong. With an amnio it is 100% right.
Also, we were able to be given the results of the amnio in 48 hours with what they call the FISH (I am not sure if that is the right acryomn, but it is what they call it). They could test only the down syndrome marker and tell us the results instead of having to wait the full 2 weeks. This was mainly due to the fact I was almost 24 weeks when all this was occuring and if I did want to abort, I had to before the 24 week mark or I had to go to Denver or LA. (All told to me by the same doctor that pushed the phone to me..nice)...so, you can ask about the FISH test.
I hope all the advice and opinions help!! If you ever want to talk about it with someone who has been in the same situation, don't hesitate to contact me!! I wish you luck with this difficult decision!