Hi M.,
Fragile X syndrome is a genetic disorder that primarily affects males. In simple terms, females have two X's and males only have one X, one Y. The lower part of the fragile chromosome has some extra copies of part of a gene which makes the product it is supposed to code for faulty or missing. There can be several degrees of the disease, depending on how many extra copies there are - ranging from, say 6 to over 200. You could imagine the difference.
You'll read that this disease is inherited. And then you'll think - wait I'm not impaired (your ex doesn't matter because he gave the Y not the X - you gave the X) and my mother and father were not impaired, so how can this be inherited?? It's a little tricky - something called 'anticipation' where the number of copies of that extra stuff gets bigger and bigger with each generation and finally it's enough to cause some kind of impairment.
Here is a link to a few things that I have found helpful, and would probably ease your curiosity a bit.
First is a picture of the chromosome. You will see that the ones with the arrows pointed to them have a little 'bulb' at the bottom of them. The little string of DNA that attaches the bulb to the regular part of the chromosome is the faulty part. That's the extra. http://concise.britannica.com/ebc/art-1697/The-fragile-X-...
This site is the National FragileX Foundation. It's full of information and support. http://www.fragilex.org/html/home.shtml
As far as a test, you will probably need to meet with a genetic counselor or clinical geneticist. They will guide you for the appropriate testing for your son, yourself, and your daughter, should those tests be warranted.
Try to digest this with an open mind - it is possible that your son does have Fragile X, but it is also likely that he does not.
All the best,
C.
pax