For All the People That I Cannot Stand...

I always go with making fun of them behind their back to people that don't know them.

AKA the number one reason I am here. :)

The people that drive me nuts here I make fun of in the real world. :p

Before you speak, THINK!

T = is it True?
H = is it Helpful?
I = is it Inspiring?
N = is it Necessary?
K = is it Kind?

Hope this helps...

Rise above, girlfriend.
Treat all people with kindness. Not because they are good people, but because you are.

Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.

--Shirley MacLaine

One can overcome the forces of negative emotions, like anger and hatred, by cultivating their counterforces, like love and compassion.

--Dalai Lama

And my favorite:
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

--Herm Albright

I'd rather have grace, then be a jerk.

What would you stand to gain, from doing this? You might feel really good for a while, then you would feel like a complete fool! Why would you want to make yourself look like a fool, for people you don't even like? I don't give people I can't stand the satisfaction of me looking stupid.

Unless someone is causing you much strife, or skinning your puppy or something...it's just a waste of time and dignity.

Be very careful what you choose to say to people. What you receive in kind may end up being worse tenfold.

Keep it to yourself ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Your enemy today may be your friend tomorrow. US and Germany or Japan or China.

People change. Their attitude and actions and habits change. Yours as well as others.

Good luck to you and yours.

"What other people think of me is none of my business."

I think you should keep it to yourself.

Telling others "just what we think of them" or "why we cannot stand them" isn't about them...it's about us. It's a holier-than-thou, self righteous attitude.

"Let he (she) who has not sinned cast the first stone."

Only if you are willing to hear why they don't like you! That could be the reason you don't like them b/c they don't like you. Kharma...it can bite you in the butt :)

**To your SWH - Of course this is your first rodeo Sweetie, or you would not have asked the question ;) The snarky response in your SWH is uncalled for - you asked for the advice ;D :P :/ ;( ;)~ :'(

Are you doing what I think you're doing? ;o)
I think you should be tactful and considerate and keep it to yourself.

What a waste of time, energy and breath it would be to tell people that you dislike them.
You never know, one day you may come across some qualities they possess that redeem them so don't burn those bridges.
Also, how would you like it if anyone and everyone that couldn't "stand" you came and told you so? :) That would suck!
Best wishes to you Molly.

Erm, that would depend on the reason?

If they stole your money and kicked your dog or something else just as awful, tell them how you feel and why.

But if they're just annoying, get under your skin, or you just plain old don't like them, let it fizzle out. They'll get the hint. Don't aggravate yourself.

I can almost guarantee you that the SECOND you tell them what you really think of them is the second something is going to go wrong and you are going to need them to help you in some way.

Would there be an upside to telling them?

I don't have any advice. The title of your post made me laugh out loud though.

Why would you want to tell everyone? That J. seems mean. Imagine a kid at school going up to your kid and listing all of the reasons they didn't like them. You would probably tell that little stinker if they didn't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all, and that its fine not to like everyone but not ok to be mean. Thats what I would say atleast

Oh how it would be fun though=) Perhaps you can J. liste the people and reasons here to vent=)

LOVE the THINK rule of thumb!!!

True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind

I have no filter so I say lay it all out on the table, but then again I have few friends because most people can not handle my version of honesty. So, the choice is yours.

I have only done this with two people. One of them I won't talk about. The other was a long time friend (I thought) who lied about my teaching, my parenting, and my marriage to make me look bad to others (including trying to get me fired) and then would be SO nice to me to my face. The last time I saw her in public, she tried to buy me and my dh a drink at a bar. I pulled her aside, told her to stay the hell away from me, to stop trying to play this game with me, that I had never done anything to deserve this treatment. When she tried to apologize, I told her she was dead to me and never ever talk to or approach me or my children again. Ever.

Other than those two people, if I don't like you, I don't pay you any mind. This strategy has worked very well to keep people I don't like away from me and my family. The best revenge is to live well, be the bigger person and don't let anyone rent time in your head like that. Create an "indifferent" attitude about these people you don't like, that is a far greater criticism of their actions that not liking them.

eta...
I really hope the poster above me isn't talking about ME. I can't say I have ever told anyone here that I don't like them. If I have, I'd love to see a quote of me saying so :)

Molly:

soooo is this your way of telling me you don't like me anymore????

There is a way to tell someone you can't stand them nicely. And you will be able to tell them - you are a GREAT W.!!! You can hand it to them like constructive criticism.

keeping it to yourself isn't going to help anything. Sometimes people need to be told what it is about them that annoys others because they just don't get it.

Don't hold it in. Just be nice in giving them constructive criticism...

if there's a pressing reason for me to share the reason for my dislike i'll do it.
there almost never is, though.
i am 100% against lying.
that doesn't mean that one's every thought, emotion and impression must or should be shared.
khairete
S.

Without knowing the reasoning behind why you can't stand them, this question is hard to answer. Not liking how loud someone chews their gum is way different than not liking them because they screwed your man.

How many people can one person "not stand"? It sounds like a whole lot, so please correct me if I'm wrong. IMO, if you have a lot of people that you can't stand, them maybe it's time to look inward.

The best rule is "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." :)

It's usually not worth expending the energy to tell them.
The amazing thing is - idiots, bullies, irritating people NEVER see themselves as being a problem and they just won't understand if you try to spell it out for them.
Just tell them you need some space - it's not them, it's just you.

Nope, no need to say it out loud. Most people are pretty aware when others don't particularly care for them.

Honestly, if someone came up to me and said, "I don't like you because..." I would find that childish and probably respond "What, are we in elementary school?"

However, if someone comes up and asks, "Hey do you like me?" Then I believe honesty is the best policy. As long as they are being polite and diplomatic, I would keep that way myself. Now, if they came up with attitude and nastiness....I can't say that I wouldn't spill everything. :)

It sounds like you are holding on to some anger!

Write a letter to each and every one of them. Then, throw out the letters.

I had to do this once.

We all have faults, but, if you say them out loud, you might bring more negativity your way! It works hand-in-hand !

Go to the library and rent the film, "The Secret." It's so uplifting !

Smile and wave to her/them when you see her/them. Then, walk away and do not think about her/them.

Be the better person. Being blunt, unless someone is in danger, is usually hurtful. Why hurt people on purpose?

why bring drama into your life? if it's not broken, let it be... IMO right now ;)

I think you have to weigh it all out.... are you prepared to take on a possible backlash and confrontation.. what is worse, NOT saying anything or staying quiet. In some cases, letting it and them go is the best medicine for everyone involved. Remember too, it's not the snake bite that kills you, it's the poison.. ask yourself this, will telling them you can't stand them, release the anger you feel and make you then move on? if not, perhaps take a different approach and work on letting go... That's what I have had to do in many cases throughout my life.. I also wanted to mention that there have been cases whereby I didn't tell a person I couldn't stand them but that they did something that totally pissed me off. In those situations, I ended up talking it out and most often, we cleared the air. It taught me that maybe I am the one who tends to look at things either black or white with no grey areas.... In other words, I was in the wrong as well and maybe next time, I should take a step back and re-evaluate the situation more thoroughly...

Are you referring to me or my husband? he he, sorry- I coudn't resist.

I 'm assuming this is regarding the post about the friend who has a jerk for a husband. I thought your answer was excellent and I agree with you completely.

Molly, regardless of the situation, I'm sure you would handle it well and with tact, whether you choose to tell them or keep it to yourself.

"Should I come out and tell them I cannot stand them and my reasoning behind it?"

Exactly what do you think you'd achieve by doing this? If you can list out 5 Pro's more than those for the other option, go ahead...scream it out from the roof!

If you can't do 5 more than "Should I keep it to myself", then do just that..keep it to yourself! :)

Tell them! Then they will have the opportunity to hear the feedback and CHANGE :) You never know....but they won't know til you tell them. Good luck!

no. Just go about your life and minimize or avoid contact with them.

Tactful. At some point when they notice you avoid them, they might ask why and then you can tactfully say why. Maybe in that time they will have changed in your estimation.
Just remember at the same time that you shouldn't expect everyone to think you're top drawer either. Works both ways.