Fixing a "Bad" Habit in Bedtime Routine

A.,

You make perfect sense here, and it will get worse before it gets better. On the brighter side though, it will be easier to change this NOW at 2 1/2 than at 7.

Super Nanny has two different techniques that will work. They have with my kids.

1st is for attached kids that need mom/dad in the room and it's a lot like what your pediatrician already suggested.

Sit on the floor cross legged with yourself in profile to your child. Sit with your hands folded in your lap, looking at the floor in front of you. Keep the room dim and **do not** interact with your little boy. Slowly, like once a week, or every few days move further away from your little boy and closer to the door until you're out the door.

The key to this one working is to not interact with them in any way. If they crawl into your lap or start trying to play with you gently put them back in bed and resume your position.

2nd is the one that works best with my kids.

1) do your normal bedtime routine (minus the laying in bed with him) and them give hugs and kisses and tuck him in bed.
2) The first time he gets out of bed give hugs and kisses and say "it's bed time sweetheart" and put him back in bed.
3) The second time he get up say "it's bed time sweetheart" and put him back in bed.
4) The third fourth and consecutive times say nothing and just put him back in bed.

This one works well on my daughter. Every night I have to put her to bed twice. The first time I do the full routine and the second time I pick her up by her arms, just under the armpit and lay her in bed, saying nothing. For some reason that gets the point across to her that Mom's not playing and the tantrum isn't gonna get her anywhere.

Sorry for the length and hope this helps,
Melissa

I have to totally agree with what Melissa wrote. She is right on, and pretty much said what I would have said.

Your son, to some degree, is playing you. He's getting your attention and he knows it. Frustrating, isn't it? :) The more attention you give him, the more of a game bedtime becomes for him. The key, I think, to getting him to sleep is to give him less attention, as hard as that may seem.

As tempting as it may be to go back to lying down with him, it's not really the way you want to go, and I think you know that. It will just make things worse, and it will be harder to solve the problem later on. Breaking out of bad sleep habits like this can be challenging and frustrating, but so worth it in the long run. Give Melissa's suggestions a try. I think they will work, as those ideas were the ones I was going to suggest anyway.

Hang in there. Take a deep breath, and, as my mom always tells me, remember that This Too Shall Pass! and he will be on to another stage. You are a great mom, really!!

It may just be time for cold turkey!
Establish a new routine. Do your usual songs or stories and tuck in, then say goodnight and leave. Don't ask if he wants you to stay, of course he does!
The first couple of nights he will probably throw a major fit. Let him. Set a time limit for yourself, like 10 minutes. If he is still fussing, go back in, tuck him in, but DON'T SAY ANYTHING! Just tuck him in and leave again.
It will take time!
My now 23mo has been sleeping in a big girl bed for the last 3 months. There was a stretch where we would have to put her back in bed because she would fall asleep behind the door after fussing for 15mins.
Now, she is MUCH better about going to sleep. At bedtime, we go through our routine (bath, diaper, stories, prayers, tuck in), and I leave. She usually talks and plays in her bed for up to an hour, BUT then she falls asleep, in her bed. Naptime she's even better! She goes right to sleep after only a token protest.
The most important thing is to stick to a routine! Don't cave and crawl back in bed with him. My BF spent 4 YEARS in her DD's bed for at least AN HOUR every night because she couldn't ever bring herself to deny her daughter...the only reason she's not still doing that is because they had another baby. And guess what? He's 20 months old and still being rocked to sleep at every nap and bedtime!
Anyway, I wish you good luck! Find your routine, and he will adjust!

When our son was almost 3, we were in the same situation. Bedtime would start at 7, but he wouldn't fall asleep until 9. We changed our routine so that one parent would stay 3 minutes after lights out, and then leave. Of course, the first few nights were rough - we used the Supernanny method of silently returning him to his bed. At first we carried him, but then that became a game, so we would take him by the hand and walk him back. I think the first night it took over an hour to get him to stay. The second night it was about 20 minutes, the third and fourth he might have come out once or twice. It's been over 6 months and once in a while we have a jack-in-the-box night, but not often, and not severe.

The other thing I would suggest is a darkening shade for the window. I think Home Depot sells 3 different thicknesses, but if you really want to block the light, you need to get the thicker (more expensive) one. It helps a lot for naptime, and is a lifesaver at bedtime. My son is usually asleep by 6:30 in the evening, and I know this would not be possible at this time of year if he didn't have the extra window shade.