First Time Mom

Well, I can tell you, we did the cry it out method. This is HARD as a parent. Luckily our son wasn't TOO stubborn. He actually did well in the crib on his own for the first year. Then it turned into him getting up in the middle of the night and ending up in bed with us. This lasted about 3 months before we couldn't take it anymore. I called my mom, and she of course gave me the advice of let him cry, as did the doctor. The first night was absolutely horrible on me as a parent. It took about an hour for him to stop crying. I first put him back down in bed, rubbed his back for a few minutes, then sat in the middle of the room. About 20 minutes later, I moved next to the door. Yes, he was crying during that time and yes, it really took a toll on me. After about an hour, he finally cried himself to sleep. Any longer than that and I would have lost my mind. The next night was easier, probably only about 45 minutes. By the fifth night, he realized I wasn't picking him up. I just came in, put him down, rubbed his back and left the room. He cried for less than a minute. It has been fine ever since then and he is 4 1/2 now. Knock on wood, I don't run into the problem again. On a different note, my friend had the same problem with her son. Her way of handling it was to just let him stay up until he crashes. Then they move him to bed. For her, it works, but he has no set bedtime and doesn't crash till 11 pm or later. I don't think it's healthy for him, and also I like my unwinding time at night. All day long till 9 pm, I'm working or I'm mommy. I'm thankful for my peace at night. And although that first week was incredibly hard, it really did work. That's the only suggestion I can give you. Hopefully you can do it and it will work. But not all moms can let there baby just cry. It's hard. Maybe get some headphones. Just kidding, but seriously, it's hard on the mama heart. Best of luck to you.

Oh, and btw, your son shares his birthday with my sister. Pretty cool.

Hi J.,

We had a somewhat similar issue with my daughter because she was colicky and we were at our wits end. She's 7 months now, has been in her crib since 6 months and still fusses during the night once or twice (or 3 or 4 times). I just took to trying to soothe her in the crib without picking her up. (shush to her, put a hand on her belly, that sort of thing) If that doesn't work, I pick her up and rock her a bit, but only till she looks sleepy again, then I put her down right away. If she cries again, I repeat the process. Sometimes it takes awhile. Sometimes it doesn't work. Also, we still swaddle her. I don't know if you're into that but it works for my daughter, she's a flailer. Another thing you might want to consider is tummy-troubles. My daughter has gas issues which we're still sorting out, so I think that contributes to the sleeping issues too.

Good luck! (feel free to respond with any venting you need to do)

K. T.

We did the same thing with our son around 8 months old. We too ended up doing the wait it out method, mainly because he used to get so upset when I'd leave the room after soothing him. We have a video monitor and that was our biggest blessing. This way, we could lay in bed and watch him - it is heart breaking to see him standing there crying but knowing that he wasn't hurt and watching him learn to soothe himself has been very comforting to us. We are first time parents and want only the best for him yet don't want to spoil him & get him into bad habits. He is 15 months old now and we still love to watch him on "tv". You have no idea what cute things you miss when he is relaxing with his blanket trying to get to sleep or wake up. I would recommend it!

The longer you wait...the harder it will be to break the habit. When he wakes at night...go in, rub his head...tell him you love him...and leave.....if he continues to cry....go back in and soothe him again...if he is fed, dry and not sick...he is fine to cry it out a little bit....no child was ever harmed from crying it out...it's harder on you than on him!

Hi J.,

I feel your pain, I did the samething w/my first daughter (actually had her sleeping in our bed from the first day she came home). I made some similar mistakes w/my second daughter but usually she will stay a sleep in her crib once I get her in there. The only way I think you can break the habit is put him in the crib and let him cry, I personally could not do that which is why my first ended up in our bed until I was very pregnant w/my second. There are a couple of books out there to help w/these kind of issues, when I find some of the names I will respond w/them.

Good Luck!!

S.

I made the same mistake. My daughter is now 9 months and we did the cry it out method about 2 weeks ago. It took about a week but if you wait it out and do not pick them up when they wake up it is well worth it. Just go in after 5 minutes first time... 10 second... 15 third and so fourh until the eventually fall asleep. It is hard but now my daughter sleeps from 8 to 6 in her crib which is so so so nice. Good luck and remember that consistency is the key.