First Mommy Daddy Vacation!

Updated on January 12, 2010
A.B. asks from Rock Springs, WY
14 answers

My husband and I have the chance to go to Vegas at very little cost thanks to my mothers career as a travel agent. Our airfare and hotel are free! So we want to use this opportunity as a kind of getaway for just the 2 of us. My daughter is almost 2 and has never been away from BOTH of us overnight. I would rather she stayed at home in her own environment/bed/toys etc. in hopes that she would be most comfortable. We think she wouldbe happy with family too, but don't want to burden them with feeling *obligated*(a whole different post in itself)I have chatted with a friend of mine who has babysat in the past and she is very happy to watch her for 2 nights/3days. I plan to pay her of course and we have family near by who could help in any type of emergency. I'm feeling VERY nervous and apprehensive wondering how she will do for such an extended period of time. I am a stay at home mom during the day and work at night on my husbands days off so we're always with her. I've started taking her to the child care facility at the gym and she seems to really enjoy that with no problems. My questions are how do I make this an easy thing for all of us? I'm terrified that my daughter will have serious separation anxiety and be a handful for the babysitter. Is it wrong for us to go on vacation without our daughter? I know a lot of people do it, but we have family who are STRICTLY against vacation without the kids. I guess if anyone has any advice to help ease my anxiety I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you so much in advance!

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S.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I think you should absolutley go! You and your husband need time together to reconnect. And when you get to do things just for you it makes you a better mommy for your daughter. Kids adjust to their surroundings better than we give them credit for. My husband and I have taken an "adult" vacation every year since our son was 1. He is now 5. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty and have a great time!!!!

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M.C.

answers from Denver on

Good for you for taking a little getaway! I, too, am a stay at home mom and had never left my kids for more than a few hours until last year, let alone overnight or for 2 nights! We also spent a few days in Vegas and I had a lot of anxiety and nervousness about leaving my kids for the first time. (They were 4yrs and almost 2yrs). It didn't help as, as we were pulling out of the driveway, my almost 2 year old started sobbing and lunging for me. But, they did fine, and yours will too! I did call everyday before bedtime to check in and that was good for everyone. We were only gone two nights, and as soon as we were there, my anxiety faded and we had a great time. First vacation alone in 5 years-- it was well worth it.

I know it's hard the first time, esp. when they're so young and if you haven't left them before. She will do fine, though, and the trip for you is much needed. Oh, and the reunion after a few days apart is the best! Have a great time!

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M.

answers from Denver on

Definitely have the sitter over to stay with your daughter before you leave--even if she just comes to have dinner with you all. Also someone mentioned having fun activities. i would also suggest leaving the sitter with some money to take your daughter on some fun outings. Even though it is cold the zoo is still fun, or Children's Musuem, or Butterfly Pavillion, etc. just to get her out of the house and having fun so she isn't constantly asking where you are. Have a great Vacation!

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K.D.

answers from Provo on

The most important thing you can give your daughter is a strong relationship between your husband and you -- providing her with a safe, nuturing environment and a good example of husband/wife relationships.
SO GO! Have fun! And don't worry about your daughter.
I am the child of parents who went on vacation by themselves, plus vacations with us as a family. It was a great example to me of the love my parents had for each other.
You sound like you've made some careful consideration for what your daughter's time will be like while you are gone. Plan on calling her once a day and be excited about this time. Kids pick up on their parents emotions about things. If you are anxious about the vacation, then she will be too. If you are excited and talk up the fun she will have with the sitter while you are gone. Make sure she knows when you are coming back and then go have fun with your hubby!

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S.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

We have been married for 12 yrs. and have only gone on a few for 4 or less days and always have a great time. You should do it and you are smart to get a friend to babysit to not deal with the 'family/obligation issue'. You will not regret going... do it for sure and your child will be fine. Kids are resilient and she will be fine.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

I don't think there is any way to rid yourself of the anxiety...every great parent has it :) The only thing that helps is a lot of, well, "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas", ha!

In all seriousness, she'll be fine. And if she's not and starts a crying jag that goes for 12 hours, there are planes that leave at all hours from Vegas, just catch one, you'll be home and everything will be fixed. But in ALL likelihood she'll be fine and you'll be fabulous!

Have fun!!!!! Theres so much fun stuff to do.

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C.A.

answers from Provo on

We went on our first vacation, just the two of us, last August when our son was about 20 months old. We were gone for 3.5 days, and my mom stayed with him at our house while we were gone. And he was fine! We were super worried about it too, but it all worked out great. So just breathe, and know that while it may be hard, you can do this. =)

I think what helped is my mom came and stayed with us for a few days before we left (she lives 9 hours away, so it's not like he sees her very often), so she got used to his routines and whatnot. Then we put him to bed Wednesday night and left right after that, so it wasn't like he saw us leaving (not sure if you can do that), and when he woke up the next morning, my mom was there. We did take a laptop and webcam with us and tried to use Skype--we couldn't get him to show up on our screen, but he could see us so I think that helped him as well.

As for the family who is against it, I'm sorry to hear that. If they give you grief, let them know you are doing what you feel will help your marriage--which, and I may get in trouble for saying this, sometimes needs to come first anyway. Your daughter will be fine, and she'll be so happy to see you when you get back. Enjoy the kid-free time--it's so rare that you get it, and you deserve it! =)

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K.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Everyone needs time to be with there spouse. This is your time to go and have fun. Your little might have the separation anxiety but nothing that a babysitter or family member which ever you choose couldn't handle. You could always call home a couple times during the day to put your mind at ease. Good luck, you really need to start the transition now so it doesn't get harder in the years to come. Have fun on your vacation.

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C.Y.

answers from Grand Junction on

going on vacation without kids is a MUST! I hate leaving my kids (2,3,5,8,10) but I know how important it is for my husband and I to have time with each other. One day our house will be empty and we need to know who we are besides mom and dad! Your daughter will probably have fun! Leave her some pictures of you and your husband and call her to say goodnight every night! We even did this when we were in Nicaragua! Have fun and enjoy yourselves!

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

I would suggest having your friend come over and babysit a couple of times before you leave.. . . once during the day for a few hours then once at night, so that she can do the whole bedtime ritual with your daughter. You will get a pretty good idea how your daughter will react by doing this. Your daughter will be just fine. We have an almost 3 year old and a 17 month old and have not been able to take a vacation by ourselves. We have no family to help us and our friends all have their own kids to take care of . I know it will be hard to leave our kiddos when the time comes but I certainly hope that we are able to take a trip by ourselves sometime soon!

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M.N.

answers from Pocatello on

It is PERFECTLY Fine for you to go on vacation with just your hubby. In fact, you deserve it!
Just ignore the family who don't agree and if they say anything simply tell them it is your decision and you are ok with it. You can even thank them for their opinion. Don't let them ruin this time for you with negativeness.
Your daughter will be fine, as long as she knows the person. Tell her you are going and she will get to have sleepovers with the babysitter. Perhaps you can tell her you will bring her a surprise when you come back. Something to look forward too. I have never been to Vegas, but I am sure you can find a cheap souvenir for a little girl!
Go, have a great time. I will be done nursing my son in a few days (yeah) and so look forward to being able to go out at bedtime!

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

She will probably have some separation anxiety. That's normal at her age. But as she knows your friend and has spent time with her it will be a bit easier. Bedtime is often the hardest (on our first no-kids vacation, our daughter watched at the window for a long time before falling asleep, waiting for us to come. But she was staying at grandmas, not her own house).

I agree to call her near bedtime. Also, if you have a cell phone she can call (with help) a couple of times, she might feel a bit more secure.

When you get home, expect her to be clingy for a while, especially at night. Look at where she was as far as bedtime routine 6 months ago, and be ready her to revert to that for a short time, at least. Same with potty training (if you've even done that yet).

As far as your family's opinion - ignore it. There is nothing wrong with a weekend getaway without the kids, and as they get older, an occaisional longer trip as a couple (think anniversary!). Of course, plan vacations with the kids too. But having time to reconnect with your spouse makes you a better parent too!

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A.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Sounds like a great time! If you've got somebody who will watch her that you trust leaving her with for an extended period of time, I'd say go for it! Have the sitter come over & hang out with you there, progress to you running errands & start stocking up now on fun stuff for the two of them to do while you're gone (things you don't have at home-Play Doh would be fun!). If you don't stress, she won't stress as much (can't guarantee she won't stress at all). Have her call when she wakes up while you're gone & call her before she goes to bed. The week before you go, buy her a new lovey to sleep with & put it in your bed-it'll smell like Mommy & Daddy & keep the smell while you're gone.
Have a great trip & remember it's your decision, not your family's what you do.

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

Do you have time before your trip to have your babysitter/friend come and stay the night with her to see how it goes? Maybe you stay at her house and she stays at yours?

You are having totally natural feelings and I would feel nervous too, that is a long time to be away for both of you.

Another thought is to see if the hotel you are staying at has babysitting accommodations. In Vegas I have found a lot of them do. You could just bring her and still have your alone time.

Regardless, the worse case scenario, she has a problem and your daughter is a nightmare, at least you know she is safe. She is not even 2 yet, she will have no memory of you being gone after you get home. So go and enjoy.

Good luck!

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