Financial Issues - Georgetown,MA

I can see your husband's point of view. You just NEVER know what's going to happen in the future and you may need every last bit of money for your son when he's older. Often, when taking out a few bucks, you might say to yourself "I'll put it back when I can." but often, it never gets replaced. Leave the college fund for college, your savings for other important things (my brothers spent their "college fund" on drug rehab. One brother is already spending his inheritance on a lawyer he can't afford. So thank God that Mom and Dad saved and saved for him when he was little).

Before your son needs clothes, start hittng garage sales. I buy clothes at garage sales in sizes too big for my son so that I have them when I need them. Last week I paid 50 cents for each shirt. Son won't wear the shirts for another year, but fr 50 cents a piece, I couldn't beat that anywhere! Shop at Thrift Stores too. You can find great stuff for cheaper than some stuff new at Walmart. And really look at what you're buying. Does he really need those three new toys? Or would one do? Did he need that book? Or could you borrow it from the local library? Does he need 8 new shirts? Or could we do okay with 4?

Best of luck.

Unless your mom is planning on putting in around $60,000 into each of those accounts (and that's at a minimum) the college funds will be a drop in the bucket toward paying for college. I've got 1 child left in college right now and we cheaped out using community college for the first 2 yrs to save money but the kids still ended up with pretty hefty student loans to pay back.

Do not use your child's money to make purchased that you as a parent should be responsible for. Clothing, food, shelter, etc are all your responsibility as a parent to provide for your child. At ages 6 months and 3.5 yrs you could get an entire wardrobe of clothes from the consignment shop for the price you paid cheaping out at walmart. That money was given to your children to be used for their things. Keep it socked away and it'll be used to pay for a car or an education or potentially a down payment on a house.

My oldest daughter managed to save over $20,000 by working after school and used that to help buy a house. My 2nd daughter saved enough to buy a used $8,000 for cash and has managed to run the account back up to $15,000 with a goal of saving another $20-30k before she buys a house. And it all started by watching that savings account grow with money from birthdays and holidays.

Sometimes children's needs trump our intentions to save for them. When a family is in a needy situation I don't see anything wrong with what you want to do, or if it means pay bills or "borrow" from their accounts. Especially if you are able to put some of that back when things are better, they won't know the difference. When I was little I used my savings account money to buy my first new bike--there are no rules about kids' savings accounts being for college or anything else. I think that is actually a very practical use for it--meeting seasonal needs that are otherwise a sudden and possibly substantial expense. Been there. However, this decision really has to be joint with you and your husband, however you work it out.

I am with your husband on this one. That $ is not YOURS to touch, borrow, etc. Why does he need a savings account?? Do you really have to ask that question? You know the answer here.

Why is it such a struggle for you to pay this? You can get very reasonable children's clothing at low costs. Look at your finances, analyze them and figure out a way to get out of debt.

I would never and I mean never take money from my daughter's account. I would find a way to sacrifice something else. MY job is to provide her with food, clothing, etc NOT HERS. Go to garage sales or the Goodwill store if you have to but do not take money from your child.

It is your SON's money and even if the grandparents are kind enough to start a college fund, he needs the savings account because whatever the grandparents save, he'll probably need more. College can run upwards of $40,000 a year. IF the savings account is left in tact, he can add to it as he grows and works and then HE has earned and saved for ex: first car, prom, college expenses, etc.

We would never shortchange our daughter like that. We have sacrificed to fund her college fund but it is OUR JOB as parents to fulfill these obligations.

I think it would be a good idea for your husband and you to get on the same page about finances. If things are that tight, you need a budget and a discussion about priorities (there is almost always room for savings-cable, cell plans, eating out, etc). If you can't afford to clothe your kids, it makes sense that you may have to use their money for it, it is certainly a better idea than running up credit card bills. You guys need to be realistic. I get your husband's point of view, but if there isn't other money for clothes, what can you do? I think it would be a mistake for you to start thinking of that money as "extra" backup cash because it seems unlikely that you would eventually get it paid back later, you know?

You may want to see if there are consignment shops or thrift shops around. You really can get a lot of great stuff there and consignment shops are a great way to recycle the clothes they grow out of once you don't plan on additional children. Often the clothes are way better made than Walmart stuff so it will last for the little one. Also, every couple days I see people on freecycle giving away kids clothes and toys. If you aren't familiar with it, look for your local freecycle group. Free clothes are great clothes, especially for children who play hard and dirty! :)

I don't think what you are doing is wrong. In my opinion a 3 year old does not need a savings account yet. Especially when we, the parents, buy them everything they need. We have college accounts set up for them and we are going to foot the bill for it so that is how I figure that using the money people give them for b-days and christmas is justified.

Use the money. Don't feel guilty. It would be lovely to save it for the future but your needs are now. How does it help your son to deprive him now in order to save for later? It's not like you are using it to by video games! It's not ideal, but neither is this economic situation.

You can get outfits for $5 at walmart or kmart. So $20 for 4 outfits is good and I am sure you can spare that. And garage sales are great too.

I agree with your husband. When I was small my parents took me to open a bank account. All through my childhood I put money in, including from paychecks starting at age 13 when I worked at their restaurant. When the restaurant folded, they started using that money (it was an emergency, and I do not begrudge them that) for expenses. They should have paid it back, but then my brother started college (on their tab) and my mom went back to school so the money was not there to put it back.

When it came to college, I was on my own. It took me 6.5 years of working full time and going to school full time to graduate (my degree was a 5.5 year degree and I had two minors). I took out loans only for the last three years when the course work was too difficult to find a good job. I settled for a campus job where I could also study. The $16k I borrowed became $32k by the time it was paid back -- and I paid it back within 5 years. All that money could have been put to better use.

It wasn't just the tuition and books and fees that a college account would cover. It was also food, clothes, a bicycle, rent on a house that was infested with bees and had huge holes in the floor which had to be covered with used couches. If you can't buy clothes for him now, I hardly think you'll be paying his rent then.

Even if grandma opens a college account, that probably won't cover all their needs. What about after they graduate? What if it starts a nest egg for them? Money wisely invested over the next 20 years can yeild enough to purchase a starter home.

Except in cases of extreme emergency, I do not think it is ethical to touch your child's money. You are responsible for clothing them, they are not. Furthermore, it is their money and it is only your job to keep it safe until they are of age to assume responsibility for it.

I think that children's clothing should be part of a family's budget, like groceries. If you have to take the money from his account, I would be sure to replace it when you can. Do you have a children's resale shop near you or a church or organization that does kids' resales? I have 2 girls (which is nice since we can use the clothes twice) and when my youngest outgrows the clothes, we sell them at a resale. Then I put that money toward the new clothes that we need. You can find nice name brand clothes in great condition at most resales! I also shop clearance racks and get most of their clothes very inexpensively. When their bdays or xmas come around, ask relatives to purchase clothes for all seasons so you'll have them throughout the year.

Walmart and Kmart has reinstated the lay-away program. You get 90 days to pay for things. You can take things out/home as you pay for them.

I usually don't agree with touching the kids money, but I have been there myself and yes I have taken $20 from my son to buy dinner. I've also taken money from him to put towards his school lunch ticket. It was his ticket for his lunch, so I didn't have a problem using his money. When he wanted something from a school sale, I made him pay for it because I didn't have the money.

If all of the items were for your son, and you truely do not have any other way right now to pay for it, then I would say that its okay to BORROW the money to pay for the things that were for him. At this point in his life, its more important for him to have clothes that fit then have $100 sitting in a bank account. Just besure to pay the account back. Even if its at $5 at a time.

M.

I don't see anything wrong with borrowing the money from your child's savings accounts as long as you eventually put it back with a little extra too. If your just taking it and not putting it back that's a different story since it is technically theirs and not yours to spend. I have borrowed money from my own kids savings accounts when money gets tight but I always deposit it back with a little more money since they loose some of the interest they would have gained if i did not borrow from them.