Feeling's Normal?

You know I felt that same way when I was pregnant with my second child. I thought well how in the world am I going to handle a new baby and a 2 1/2 year old. Its easier than it sounds. What worked for me with my son is whenever I needed help I called on him... Like if I needed diapers, wipes.. even to throw the diaper away, I asked him to help and that way he feels like he is still wanted and gets some attention. I know you will do fine.

I only have one child, but I am very close to someone who went through something similar and her children are 18 months apart. She was very apprehensive. She stressed over a variety of things like if/how she could love a second child as much as she did the first, would she have enough time for both of them, how would the older one react to the new baby, etc. They live a VERY busy life style. They have a very hectic schedule - both work full time and they are social butterflies to say the least. They also travel a lot for work & pleasure as well as to their vacation home. They GO-GO-GO all of the time. The second child arrived and as soon as she delivered she was at peace. Once she saw her baby, she instantly knew that everything would be fine and that all of her worrying/anxiety was for naught. Since then, she has admitted the girls are a lot of work and she would rather have them in full-time day care because it's too much work to take care of them. However, you are a child care provider and are a step ahead of my friend since you are already accustomed to the work involved. Also, my friend and her husband made it a point to do stuff for the older child often once baby #2 came along. They would take only her to the zoo and other special outings so she would get her fair share of one-on-one time. They also did a lot of the "you're the big sister" stuff to try to give her a role. I am sure your worries are perfectly normal and that you are going to be a great Mom - times two!

Good luck!

I so agree with everyone else: YOU ARE NORMAL! My 2nd & 3rd were exactly 2 years apart. It is hard. Another feeling I struggled with was saddness for my toddler - couldn't be the baby anymore.

Try to find other moms in your situation for support or at least friends that understand how you're struggling. I found that that helped so very much.

Congratulations & good luck. Keep opening up & you'll do great, no matter what! Peace!

your feelings are normal. and anyone that says they are not, doesn't have kids that close in age. my boys were 14months and 2 days apart. it was like having twins. hang in there, its hard at first, but you will get use to it. remember, you need some free time just for you. make sure that you get it. without it you feel like you are loosing your mind. make sure your husband helps out. even if he just buys dinner once in a while, it really helps. good luck!

I felt the same way. I have a 3 yr old little boy and I just had my second child in May and she has colic. It has been very hard but it is getting easier. I don't know if it helps but your not alone in your feelings and I wish you the best of luck :)

M. J

Those feelings are totally normal. Oh the expectations of expenses are enough to make you want to just cry. I can still hear my pocket book screaming and it's been 5 years since I experienced your situation.

Do what you can to enjoy the pregnancy though. I'm a firm believer that negative emotions effect the baby.

Many well wishes for the new baby

D. who lost her little girl way too soon.
mom to 3 boys, 18, 6 and 3

You are feeling totally normal!! The second child always brings questions about it all!! You will be fine once baby gets here! Its kinda like labor~ You forget all about the pain(wonders) once the baby is in your arms and it just works out!! I am a mom to 3 boys 14, 10 and 6 and we recently aquired custody of our neice 19 mo. Its a tough step but you know its right when its all said and done!! Good luck and Congratulations!

Trust me it's normal to feel that way because you'll never know how your 1st born will react. I was excited bout my second child but nervous/worried as well.

Because I was worried bout it, my mom decided to take my daughter for like a week or so and taught her how to handle a baby by using a babydoll. It worked really well on her.

But like i said it's normal. GL!

feelings like that are totally normal. It is overwhelming to have a new child let alone a toddler too. Hang in there, you'll be just fine. Your son will adjust in time just show excitement to him about the new baby and your excitement will rub off on him. Be sure to include time alone with your toddler without the new baby so he doesnt feel jealous or like you arent giving him the attention he needs. Good luck and God bless!
--S.

DON'T WORRY! I know exactly how you feel! I have a 18 month old boy and 4 1/2 month boy. I was soo nervous to have my second child and having kids only 13 months apart. Yes there are going to be some tired times and some frustrating times, but definately nothing you can't handle. I was so nervous how my older son was going to be around the new little one, but he's been great. You just have to watch them because sometimes they are trying to be nice, but don't know what is going to hurt the baby. But now my older son always wants to hug and kiss and hold his brother. Its weird to see him play the older sibling role, but if the baby's crying, he'll run and go find his pacy and blanket and give it to him. You will have some special moments like that that will make you love being a mommy.
Yay! I'm excited for you and I don't even know you! You are going to be absolutly fine.
One thing I always try to remember....God never gives you anything you can't handle. He will give you the strength to get you through the hard, tiresome, and frustrating times.
Have fun with your little ones!

Totally normal.

I had the same feelings and my first two are two and a half years apart.

I showed him lots of pictures of babies and kept reminding him that there was a baby in my tummy. I used newborn diapers on one of his stuffed animals so that he would get used to seeing baby things around the house. I took him shopping with me to buy the baby a gift, etc. I basically spoke to him every day about it.

And the day after we brought my daughter home, he drew all over her soft little head with a ball point pen. It was scary and funny all at the same time.

I also did the same thing with my daughter, who turned two nine days after my second son was born. We were really worried about her because she was such a Mama's girl, but everything turned out alright. She's actually turned into quite a nurturer.

So just relax. Enjoy your second baby and have fun with all of the little obstacles that may seem huge right now, but will dwindle with time.

I had the same feelings when I had my second child. Towards the end of the pregency I got really scared and worried that I wouldn't have time for my oldest any more and how I was going to juggle things to give them both my time. I don't think at first I was as close to my second child as I was to my first. But my second one is 2 and a half now and it's great. It can be stressful but I think your feeling what a lot of mom's feel about going from one to two kids. You'll do fine I'm sure. If you ever need to talk please feel fee to message me :) *hugs* your way

5 months ago I went through the same thing only with two little girls. My girls are 21 months apart and my oldest LOVES her sissy. She thinks of her as a doll. Here are some things we did to make it easier for her:
We bought her a dolly about a month before the baby came and let her play with it. We also started pointing out babies we saw and asking her if she wanted "her" baby to come to our house to live. By calling it her baby or "your" baby we gave her a sense of accomplishment and pride int he new baby. Also I had the family that came to town plan things to do with her..after all I was stuck in the hospital and not just sit around with me. That way she thought of my time away as a fun time with family. She also visited me at the hospital for at least an hour a day to see the new baby and me.
As far as the exhaustion goes make sure you plan lots of help to come. I had at least one person at home with me for two weeks. Everyone offered with my first, but I had to ask with my second. I think it's more important with the second. That way I always had an extra pair of hands for my first child.
If you don't have anyone to come and you're in the area I would be happy to help, or anyone else at my church would come too. Make sure you have a strong support network to fall on and you'll be fine.

I did the same thing -- with the first, I was totally emotionally prepared, but not so after that. I believe it is because you really have time to focus on your first pregnancy. You think about "the baby" constantly before you deliver. When you are pregnant with your second (if they are close in age), you are still focused on your first -- you don't have time to just sit there and think about pregnancy. And "the baby" still means your first for awhile. Trust me, when the baby is here, it will all fall into place!
Good luck!

A.,

You are totally normal. I just had my 2nd baby in June and our first child will be 3 in a few weeks. I just wanted to say that I was not nearly as tired the 2nd time around as I was with the first. I think that is because for the first baby I was totally new to the experience and demands of motherhood. With the new baby, I am much more at ease. Truthfully, I was good within 10 days. I will say that the biggest challenge is not sleep, but giving both kids equal time. It's been 4 months now and I still don't feel that I have balance between me, husband, and two kids. I want to spoil the baby like I did my first, but it's just not possible (for me). Good luck! You will be amazed at how much you love your two babies...your heart will be soooooooo full!!!!

I think feeling this way is normal. It's not that you aren't excited, I understand that. I have 3 children: a 5 year, one that is going to be 3 in a few weeks, and now a 7 week old. When my middle child was born, I felt the same way you are right now. My daughter was almost two and I was afraid of the jealousy. We were so excited the first time. We were just excited the second time, but it was a different feeling of excitement. We just tried to give her that extra attention and kept reminding her that she was going to be a "big sister". Then I thought with this pregnancy, it would be even worse since they weren't used to having a baby around. But I was pleasantly surprised. The tiredness is something that I have never gotten over. We just learned to take naps more regularly and set a strict bedtime routine. Eventually the tiredness will ease, but until then good luck.