Feeling Some Type of Way Lately!

Im so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed! My best advice is sit down very calmly with your husband/boyfried and explain the way you are feeling. Try not to just point on the negative things he does, throw in some positives and let him know when he does those things you are apprecative. I really cant relate to your situation, but I really do feel for you! Being a first time mom is overwhelming and working too, thats alot! I am very fortunate to be a stay home mom of 4. I do remember the first year with my first daughter being very nerve racking!!! My husband worked sometimes 2 or 3 jobs for us to make ends meet, so 95% of the time it was just me and her. When you are cleaning and she needs attention, ask him for help. He may not realize (guys can be kinda dumb when it come to kids and house work) you need help. In the begining when we had 2 kidos, I would be running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get things done. I had to start asking him for help, can you brush their teeth while I shower tem, can you wipe the table down while I do the dishes. Now 4 kids later we work as a team. If Im cooking he's watching the kids, if im passing out medication to one kid he's showering the others. It takes time to get to be a well oiled machine... Also try to get a few hours a week to yourself. One night a week after the kids are in bed and my husbands home i go out with my girlfriends. We go to the movies, ice cream, dinner, window shopping, play board games even grocrie shopping... Its nice to get out and be yourself and not just MOMMY! I hope this helps.

I divorced my ex husband extactly because of this reason as well as he was adicted to online chat rooms and texting women. I couldn't (and wouldn't!!) take it anymore! LIfe is too short to be wasted being unhappy, and think of your child! I am now married to a wonderful man who does EVERYTHING! I have never had to ONCE ask him to take out the trash, he also does all the laundry and anything else he sees needs to be done. He is wonderful to me and the kids and I'm so glad I didn't waste my time for one second longer with my ex than I already had. Good luck to you!!!

JOIN THE CROWD!!!!!! I have just had my 55th anniversary----notice I said HAD--not celebrated!!!--When I was 18 yrs old, I only dated my husband-to-be for six weeks---He knew what he wanted, and I was so naive that I didn't know the plan that he and his two sisters had made, as they barely spoke to me at all . He and his family discussed things amongst themselves, so I ended up taking care of my in-laws for 28 yrs. All my husband wanted was someone to legally have sex with, cook, clean house and take care of all his needs and his families. By the time he had moved me 400 miles from all my family, I had two babies, no money, and no way to support myself and two kids, so I stayed. Hating every minute of it., Now it is is 55 yrs later and here I am--I still milk cows and help do farm work, and still don't have enough money to leave. If I were you and just had one child, and a job that could support me, I would leave or put some new rules in place if he stayed. There is no excuse for a man treating you that way. Be firm and let him know you will not wait on him hand and foot any more. That's all a man wants any way. They never do "graduate" from being a boy who just wants a mom plus sex.!!!

I think he has been getting some bad advise from the boys, you must be really tired, now is 2 - 9 am or pm and how much music does a man need to make? Two things that may help combined with a swift kick in the a**, set on the clock and off the clock with the baby , such as you are on baby duty from one time to the next and that means everything baby (diapers,food,bath,nap,clothes, etc...) and then I will be on baby duty set times. Pick days of the week for laundry and have two days he does it and one day you do. You are not being too anything, your feelings are validated and I would hope he becomes more aware and helpful or perhaps if it is n the budget you could hire day help (I know I have friends in Raleigh who have used Nanny/babysitting services or maybe a neighbor or student) Good luck girl.

Have you tried talking to him in a calm way, with no interruptions, about how you feel and the help you need? You can ask him why he stopped doing the things that he once did? Maybe you can work out a list of things that need to be done and who will be responsible for each thing. In our house I prefer to do the dishes and the laundry. My husband can do each of these things but usually not to my standards. I am picky about the laundry and he does not get the dishes clean. We do dishes by hand and he refuses to rinse any thing off before doing the dishes, therefore there are chunks of food floating around in the sink, YUCK!!! We had a dishwasher before and he would never rinse anything off so you unload and find dried chunks of food stuck to the dishes. I have repeatedly asked him to rinse things before doing them but to no avail. The laundry he will just put everything in the washer no sorting, treating stains etc... This makes me crazy also! So for my piece of mind I do these things. Good Luck!

Others have made wonderful suggestions, but also - have you checked into Mother's Day out programs at various churches, etc? That might help you to get a break and they are usually very inexpensive.

You "kind of feel like he's no help"? He IS no help! Sounds like you created a baby with a child, not a man. Ask him if he is interested in keeping his "family" together. Don't wait for him to volunteer to do things or notice what needs to be done...be specific and tell him what he needs to do. Men often don't understand "subtle" and be aware that the more you do, the less he'll do.