Feeling Overwhelmed - Cumming, GA

i think every single mother can relate to what you are going through. don't stress about the small stuff because it will get done. i find that it has a lot to do with the perspective you have and it you are positive it will make it that much easier. i just went throught a spell where i was just too overwhelmed and so negative and i was miserable. NOW, my situation is still the same and it's go from the time i wake up but i just decided that i was going to remain positive and not stress over every little thing and i feel that much better. you cannot do it all so just prioritize :)

I can't imagine a SAHM who CANNOT relate. I left my career to stay home with my kids... my "baby" just entered kindergarten (don't get me started on the issues spinning through mind mind NOW) and I can honestly say I don't regret it at all... I feel blessed to have been able to stay home with them. But sure... I felt exactly like you described lots of times. They say kids need structure, but I think grown ups need it too. I still miss sometimes having to be somewhere at a certain time to have a specific job to do! Don't you feel like when you have lots of unstructured time you gets so much less done? I would always try to have some kind of plan for my day... that could be either a playdate, some errands, an outing with my kids, or even just a few "must do" chores around the house. At least there would be some focus to the day. You also just have to re-think what you consider an "accomplishment". If, at the end of the day, your 8 month old is well fed and relatively clean and clothed in clean clothes and your house isn't ready for demolition, then you've accomplished something! 8 month olds are high maintenance! I think the suggestions to join a mom's group is a great one. I was a member of mom's club when my kids were smaller and it was great... got me out, meeting new moms, finding things to do with my kids. Momsclub.org is the website and I'm pretty sure they have a chapter or two in Cumming. One last thing... I read your post about the cats... and I certainly don't want to make you feel guiltier than you surely already do, but ARE YOU SURE? Maybe if you are feeling so overwhelmed right now, this might not be the time to make this decision? Just a thought... hang in there.

Although I had my first child 11 yrs ago, I remember like it was yesterday! I worked full time as an RN which is so busy I barely had time to go to the bathroom, but I loved being around all the people and just staying busy. Then my daughter was born and I stayed home. It was drastic both financially and emotionally. I made very good money and at the time we lived in CA where the cost of living is very high. We were renting and even moved just to cut our rent by $100/month. I can totally relate! I really had no friends at home with babies. I remember it taking about a year to adjust. But it really does take a toll on your self esteem. The best thing you can do is try to connect with other moms and get out when you can. Libraries usually have story time or different activities. I struggle with keeping my house in order like I would like to. So, you are not alone, I think all first time moms experience these feelings. Maybe just the lack of structure at home. Unless you are someone who can really make a schedule, and that is not me, time slips by much quicker than we realize! Take care and the best of luck to you and your family.

Hi V.,
I can totally relate. I had my first child at 33 yrs. old a few days after 9/11. The transition of being working gal to just motherhood was a huge thing for me. It's overwhelming--the emotions, the tiredness, the feeling of "how can I get it all done?" and "how do I parent my child?" is just a lot.

In time, I realized that I didn't have to be Super Woman. It's not worth it...and in time the house would be cleaner, the bills will be paid, my daughter would still get all her play time and life would be had. The key is to enjoy being in the moment. and relax. To quote a book title: "God isn't in a hurry." Cats are pretty easy compared to having dogs. It would be great if you kept them...I have a feeling your situation will get better and you will be glad you have them (and all together).

it is very overwhelming when a new baby joins the family to begin with...you are probably sleep deprived, hormonal, etc...there are so many "tasks" that need to be done every day, that i find the ones that don't, tend never to get done. remember that this is temporary...you will get into a groove...you need to make time for yourself...a lesson i learned a little late...you will be a better mom if you do. i suggest making a list of the things that you think need to be done...and the things that have to be done. decide when you are going to do them, and stick to some kind of schedule..there will be things that don't get done as often as you'd like...but that's okay. my problem was always clutter gathering around...i am so busy taking care of the kids and keeping the house clean, that it doesn't ever look neat...i try to do a room a day, and whatever room i happen to be in...engaging the baby while you are working around the house is sometimes all they need...put the excersaucer in the room you are in...take a few breaks to hold and play with the baby...and then do what you need to do. the thing that helps the most is being organized, (something i used to be before i had kids..) i try so hard to make a place for everything, so that clutter doesn't gather...but it still does. decide what you can live with, and what you can't...and work on making yourself happy with it...does that make sense? good luck!

I think what you are feeling is quite common. I have 21 month old twin boys and the first year was very tough for me. I work full time and I just never felt I did anything right. I don't know what it is about having kids, but for me, I instantly became unsure of myself and always felt that I was doing something wrong. The second year is definitely better - I don't know what specifically changed but I do feel more confident in my abilities and I don't beat myself up for any shortcomings. Hopefully things will improve for you too!

I hope you are able to talk about your feelings with your husband. Hopefully he can help you out and do things to lessen your workload. Even if it is having one morning a week to yourself it will definitely help you have some 'me' time and recharge. If you continue to feel this way for awhile, you may want to talk to your physician about post-partum depression. I know most people think it occurs right after a baby is born, but for some women, it happens later.

Hi V.,
The adjustment from zero to one child is the hardest adjustment. This from of a mom of 4, with the 5th due next month. Some things that will probably help are getting out for a walk about the neighborhood. A little exercise and sunshine can make a big difference. Try to join a Moms Club or MOPS so you can get out and meet other moms like yourself. As for your home, check out http://www.flylady.net The flylady helps you come up with routines that will help you take care of your home.
Taking care of mudane tasks may seem unexciting. It is. But someone's got to do it and your family is probably counting on you. Everyone doesn't get a parade after every job well done. When I was a kid my dad would get up early in the winter and make a cozy fire because he knew how much we all liked to sit around and enjoy it. I didn't know to thank him but now that he's gone, I appreciate all the little things he did. Try thinking of your work as a gift you are giving your family and maybe it won't seem so bad.
You are going through a huge adjustment. Just remember to have fun and do your best. That's all your family wants. It will get easier.

Hey, where do you live? Have you heard of or thought about joining MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers - though it is for anyone with newborn through 5 yrs old)? It is great! We meet every other week and our next meeting is 2 weeks from today. We are at the First Baptist Church in Gainesville off Green Street.
If it is not near you, then just Google MOPS and find a local chapter.
Hope this helps
K.

Hi V.

I completely understand what you are going through. I have three kids now, but when I had my first, it was so hard! It is a huge adjustment and some people just do better than others...I sure wish I had relaxed more and enjoyed it more than stressed and worried...Do you have a lot of SAHMs in your neighborhood? I know it sounds simple, but getting together with them would make a huge difference... Also, I am sure you are still sleep deprived, so try to catch up on your sleep and know that this won't last forever... I saw you are in Cumming, and I know there are moms clubs throughout Forsyth County. It really might help to comisserate with some other moms with babies the same age as yours. Good Luck!