Family Feud - Lemont,IL

Run away! You already have taken a side with the stricter sister. Getting between two sisters is not a good place to be, especially when the OTHER is going to feel like everyone is teaming up against her. When you pit two sisters against each other....you will lose! And criticizing a parent's disciplining tactics without being asked to give your opinion???? The husbands are going to look at you and think you started this war. (And the dad, married to the sister who is lenient may just be as lenient as his wife and could feel you are criticizing him too!) I'm still trying to figure out why this has become your concern - do your children and theirs all play together? You can have children adhere to rules in YOUR home - that's all you can do. The best thing you can do is to be an example and offer general advise if anyone asks for your advise about good disciplining suggestions and parenting advise. If you plan to continue a friendship with BOTH sisters, next time, I would throw up my hands and say, "Sorry, I don't want to get in the middle of this!" and be done! Good luck!

You can not tell another parent how to parent. That said, my sister and I differ in how we parent... I am strick she is not. We live in town together, do a lot together. My advice is to parent your own children when together -- when the child asks why does blank get to do it.... I just tell my kids that they are my child and I do not want them to do it. Eventually my lenient sister catches on and as time has gone on it gets better. We have three children each - 4 of which are the same age. When her kids are at my house, they are under my rules and her kids understand there are different rules at aunty's house than their own. It is a difficult situation, but I have learned that my sister needs to be her own parent, like I am. No one should tell you that you are wrong, but it's the old saying... we learn by example. My kids behave better and that makes my job easier -- the lenient sister will learn to be a little strict and the parenting part gets easier. I don't recommend getting in the middle, nor having conversations of a preferred style. Set an example, set ground rules at the strict parent's home that need to be respected because it is is their home, but beyond that -- just keep a close eye on your own children. Good luck!

I suggest you back out of it. My sister and I have very different philosophies of parenting, and our daughters are 3 months apart. It means that we don't always do things with them and my daughter doesn't sleep over at their house (We are anti-smokers, they smoke in the car with the kids, they take their kids to bars, we don't, their daughter is allowed to walk in the neighborhood alone, their daughter has no fixed bed time, she is allowed to be on the internet unsupervised and we are far more strict) and when we do things together, my daughter knows that we don't allow as much as they do. Kids learn the differences in teachers as well as parents, and they can adapt. If the misbehaviors are in your own home, you have the right to say we don't allow that in our house, but otherwise, I suggest you adopt this line..."I am Switzerland, and I love you all." Don't let your relationships get hurt. Finally, blood can be thicker than water, and you might get burned! Good luck!

You are correct in the fact that THEY need to work this out, but I don't think you should be dragged into the middle of this. It will only turn into something bad for you. Especially because you agree with one sister more than the other. I think you should politely step out and let them know that you can no longer be of any help.

These ladies each have a right to raise THEIR children how they want to along with their husbands. It is not up to anyone else, even family, to tell them otherwise. Their best bet would be to settle on a way to discipline their children when in a whole family setting (aka: holidays, birthday parties, etc)- something that everyone is comfortable with- and leave it at that.