A friend of mine has a little girl who is going to be having some one day eye surgery next month. Its to help strengthen some muscles in her eye. My friend and her husband are very concerned with explaining the surgery, the process, why she has to have it, etc to their daughter. They're not even sure at what point to tell their daughter about it. This mom did mention that her daughter doesn't really realize that there is anything wrong with her eye. Any suggestions I can pass along to these worried parents???
"Your eye has a big boo boo in it and the Dr. is going to help make it better."
Simple, basic and honest. Use terms she can understand. Let her draw or color a picture of an eye or explain with the aide of her favorite baby doll or stuffed animal. I would bring it up a couple of days before she's scheduled to have this procedure so she'd have time to feel comfortable. Be sure she understands that she gets to wear special clothes and a special hat (...IF they use hair nets during the procedure. Most do to keep hair out of the way). Even a role play situation between your friend and her daughter might be helpful. Children are very sensory oriented and they could take turns being doctor and patient.
My son had his tongue tie corrected last year. We told him that the dr would give him medicine to help him sleepy, then he would be able to fix his tongue. Once it's fixed you wake up it might hurt a little but the nurse can give you medicine to help it feel better.
My 4 year old just had her tonsils and adenoids removed about 3 weeks ago...we were very open and honest with her..told her exactly what to expect from beginnigng to end....it helped that I work at the surgery center where she had her surgery so she knew the people already but still the surgery etc. was scary for her...we gave her time to ask questions and we answered them honestly...we told her she was going to have pain after but that there would be medicine to take the pain away....Im all about preparing them and making them aware....I think when you dont tell them and just bring them in for the surgery they are more apt to freak out....not sure if they premedicate at the surgery center your friend is going to but we do here and it was wonderful....I was most fearful about my daughter being taken from me into the OR...with the premedication she was soo loopy she didnt have a chance to get upset, so it helped with my anxiety too!!!
If it were me it'd be pretty cut and dry. Say something basic, and then if she has questions, answer them. 4 year olds can understand a lot, just on different levels sometimes.
The doctor has found a way to make your eye stronger. He's going to give you some medicine to help you sleep, he'll fix it up while you're still sleeping and you won't even wake up! I will be sitting in a chair reading my book waiting for you to wake up, and then we'll go home.
Even very young children understand that mommy goes to the hospital to have a baby. Of course, they have no clue what happens other than mommy and daddy go, they probably have a dr., and home comes a baby and all is fine. Most can point out the hospital they were born in after about 2 years old. Our daughter had to have several procedures around that age and we explained to her that everyone has to go to the hospital and have the drs. and sweet, sweet nurses help them to get all better. Milkshakes and icees were always treats afterwards for at least a few days! If possible, on the way home!!
Just be honest and use words she knows. DS was 4 last Spring and had a salivary stone removed. The surgeon explained to him (and DH) exactly what would happen. He also let him ask questions. The anesthesiologist also explained exactly what would happen and made it a game. It is REALLY IMPORTANT to let her know if she will have her eye bandaged when she wakes up. If she can't see and doesn't know why, that can be really scary.
