Inguinal Hernia on My 4 Year Old Son...

My advice would be to wait. All he'll do is worry, and it may cause him to lose sleep, which neither of you need!

My son had the same surgery, but was younger. I would tell him that the doctor is going to fix it, rather than using the word surgery. If you aren't sure about telling him, I would wait. Maybe tell him the day before and explain what will be happening - no surgical details, just the process. Let him know that he'll get to wear a special gown, eat popsicles afterword, etc. This way he'll have an idea and won't be traumatized if you just up and put him in the car the morning of surgery.

P.S. Remember to have plenty of food in his tummy before giving him his pain medications at home after surgery. They are very hard on the stomach and cause nausea.

Blessings!

I was just wondering what hospital you will be going to. I am currently doing a clinical rotation at CHOC and we have a group of experts and volunteers called Child Life. These people are trained in how to explain medical procedures and using medical play to alleviate anxiety for the child. Even if you are not going to CHOC you might want to contact them for any sugestions. I would ay these ae the most qualified people to ask =) www.choc.org/childlife. You may also want to go to www.childlife.org.

My oldest has had several surgeries, the first being when he was only 10 weeks old. I have found he deals better when he is aware of what is going to happen, his last surgery was when he was 4, just 3 weeks before his 5th birthday, to have his tonsils taken out, and I explained the process to him and I also let him know all the people in our family who have had this surgery and they are all fine, I let him talk to the surgeon directly on his pre-operation appointment, the night before we made a list of his questions so he wouldn't forget. But in our case my son has had surgeries before.

I would say just talk to him and be as clear as possible, and NEVER show any sort of fear or stress or he will think there is something to be fearfull or stressed about.

I'm part of the "wait" group. You can tell him ahead of time--maybe a few hours ahead of time. Our pediatrician says there's no benefit for a small child having that kind of info before hand. I don't even think you have to use the word "surgery." I'd just say that the doctor's going to "fix" you up!

According to my family therapist, telling kids this age things that are going to 'happen' in the 'future' will either cause distress or they will forget about it and be surprised when it does happen. She gave me the advice of beginning 48 hours before the change to start explaining something was happening. You could try to find a book, video or like the previous poster a group at the hospital that helps explain things in kid terms.

Good luck!

my son had the same surgery when he was in kindergarten. We spoke with him about it ahead of time, simply because there are things that need to be explained. My son didn't really seem to dwell on it the way you would think an older child or adult would.

Hi J.,

My son Blake had the exact same surgery at 4 and I was a nervous wreck! I think when you tell him depends on what kind of child he is. Does he typically worry about things? Does he do better if he has more info and can cope before with how things are going to go?

My son knew from the get go 'cause he was in the room when the Doctor said what needed to be done. But he is the type of kid the needs to mentally and emotionally prepare so I explained as much as possible about the hospital and the medicine making him sleepy so he would know what to expect. I also pumped up that Grandma would bring him a present and he would get a popcicle at the hospital after the surgery was done. I hope that helps! Blessings and a speedy recovery for Carter!

Steph

I have 2 of 6 kids who have had surgery, and they both did GREAT. I explained EVERYTHING to them. They understand alot more than some give credit. If they know what is going to happen next it is not so scary. I talked them through it at the office till they were "asleep". Talk with your dr. they might let you stay in the room till then, but you have to be confident and reassuring to him. my 3yr old had a spinal tap, ct scan and other "test" done to her while awake, because I talked to her and let her know that yes it is scary but it will be okay and this is what is going to happen....they wanted to strap her down or sedate her, neither was necessary. But all kids are different. TALK!!
here is a site with some advice http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/surgery/hosp_surgery.... Good luck.

Your hospital should have a child tour program for children who are going to have nonemergency surgery. Call the hospital and ask about such a program. If they don't, make sure you talk to him in simple terms. I had my tonsils out at six and i got to see the hospital and the doctor and my mother explained it to me. It was still scary, but I knew that I would "take a nap", have a sore throat afterwards, and got ice cream later for the sore throat. Your son should know he is going to be "owie" after the surgery but there will be medicine to help. I hope no one in your family has gone to the hospital and not come out. That would be really scary concept for a four year old. Keep things simple, matter of fact, don't act scared, and just say this happens all the time. Good luck.

J., I would tell him immediately so he can start to prepare for it. If you have a calm attitude about it, then he will. My son had the same surgery when he was a toddler. I would discuss it in terms he understands, so he knows that he WILL go in to surgery and WILL come out of surgery, and will be able to grow up to be a big strong guy like his daddy because of it.

Try not to worry mom.

Hi, J.,

I had inguinal surgery a few years ago. I prefer to know what's going to happen well in advance of the procedure. I thin that kids being informed, but in simpler words, is most beneficial. Telling your son a few days in advance seems appropriate. I might tell him that the doctor is going to fix the lower part of his tummy (or whatever language you use to describe that part of his body) with a patch (if that is what will be used) and that your son will be asleep when the doctor does this. I'd also tell him that that he will feel better if he moves carefully for the couple of weeks immediately following surgery.

Please let me know how things go. Part of my elder son's leg is covered by a congenital nevus, which might become cancerous. I plan to take my elder son to a plastic surgeon for at least three rounds of surgery, under local anesthesia only, to have his congenital nevus removed. I am very concerned about the short- and long-term implications. Fortunately for your son, most surgeons have a lot of experience repairing his type of injury. Very few have experience working on my son's condition, which occurs in approximately 1 in 10,000 people, and treatment outcomes are often not great (chronic itching, infection, scarring).

Good luck,
Lynne E

I agree with Crystal.. ask if the hospital you are going to has a Child Life Dept. All Children's Hospitals do and some of the larger ones do too. Their entire job is based on helping children understand all aspects of being in the hopital and explaing at the child's level exactly what they will be seeing, hearing, feeling and so on. Definatly see if you can get a tour beforehand. So important for a child to know where they we be and where Mom will be waiting during the surgery.

Absolutely tell your child what will be happening, he has probably had several doctors appts. regarding his heria so he knows something isn't right. Children really do understand far more than we give them credit for. If you explain it the day or so before in terms he understands and honestly answer his questions he will trust you more. Telling him it won't hurt when in fact it will will make him doubt you the next time he has a question. With shots say it will hurt for a minute but if you hold really still it will go faster and I will hold your hand teh whole time .. if you will. Tell him to take a big breath and let it out slowly like he is blowing a bubble when they do the shot.. it helps him relax and focus on something other than what is happening.

Don't say he is going to be sleep for the surgery.. people wake up during the night when they sleep to go to the bathroom, get drinks or have a bad dream. Say he will be taking special medicine so he is not going to feel the surgery and they have doctors to make sure he is not in pain. You can say it is "like he is asleep" but the medicine will keep him from waking up until the operation is all over and then he will wake up when everything is finished but not before.

Just my two cents... hope it helps,

J.,
I had a surgery at that age and remember being hungry before hand and asking for food! So yeah, talk to your kid and explain as much as you can. Expalin his condition, etc. and talk to him about how the doctor will help him feel better. Also ask the doctor if they have any advice on how to explain it to your boy if you can't find the words.
All the best to you and your boy,
C.

J.
I think as much nformation that you provide to your 4 yr old, the better. By informing your child of the procedure it will allow him to prepare himself. Although he will be scared, as well as yourself as a Early Childhood Educator I feel that it will be preparing him for the survery as well as recovery. Honesty is the best policy!

Yes, prepare him but don't give him too many details and only answer what he asks. No more. :)