Ex's New Girlfriend Posts Things Concerning Our Son on Social Media

talk to your lawyer about it. i know 2 divorced women who both have it in their court papers that the children are not allowed to be put up on social medias. one posting is a violation of the court orders

Don't be on her (or his) social media. If you can't see it then it won't upset you. Anyone else who happens to see it knows that YOU are the mom and nothing else matters. This is drama that you don't need in your life. Unfriend them and move on.

There is this magical thing that people used to do . . . it is called "ignoring." If you don't like it, unfriend or block her for crying out loud. You shouldn't be "friends" with either your ex or any of his ladies anyways. Plus, how does an ex lie about a field trip? Either you are seeking out school communications or you are not - it isn't his job to make sure you are in the loop. And yes, anyone can volunteer at a school or chaperone a field trip, even if they don't have a kid there as long as they can pass a background check. No one has to report to you who is chaperoning, ex's girlfriend or not.

i suppose there's a valid concern in here about the safety of your child when his picture is being put on social media. i think it's a little paranoid, but okay.

however, that's not how this reads. it reads as jealousy, pure and simple.

now, i too would resent the new gf calling your child her son. but i'd bite it back. it's pretty sucky, but it's way better than her being the type who is jealous and resentful and mean to him, isn't it?

your ex sounds like a nightmare, but if you're making mountains out of molehills he might just be exasperated. hard to tell from this single posting.

you could probably pay a lawyer to get something drawn up forbidding social media exposure for your child and try to get a judge to sign off on it. it would probably be expensive and create all sorts of misery and tension in a relationship that's already tense and miserable.

if your son is actually being put in danger, it might be worth it.

but i'd say you should pick your battles.
khairete
S.

You don't get to control what your ex does during his time with his child, nor who he has as a partner helping him parent as long as she is not abusive. You need to let go of any jealousy you are feeling over this woman's relationship with your son or your ex and find a way to peacefully co-parent and accept that, because you are not the only parent, you don't have total control when it comes to the son you share with his father.

It might help if you look at her use of "my kid" and "my son" more as a way to be close to your ex (I guess she hasn't figured out yet that he's a jerk, poor thing) than a way of trying to be close to your son. She's probably figuring the way into his heart is through his kid. This is not a threat to you in any way, though it feels crappy.
As others have suggested, get on the school mailing list to directly recieve information and field trips and such. That is a whole different topic and completely unacceptable, unless you don't share custody.

Get yourself on the school's/class's email and communication list so you know what's going on and you can be more involved. Does he have custody?

As for the jerk you had a baby with, that's all on you.

Well, the 'my son' would probably bug me too. I think I would unfriend/unfollow (or don't look) on her social media in that case. I don't think you can tell a person what to say unfortunately. It's a bit weird, but there it is.

On the flip side, better that than a girlfriend who is resentful that her boyfriend (your ex) has a son, right? We hear about those on here too (boyfriends who have no interest in their girlfriend's children).

So I suppose, that's a good thing - that she is chaperoning him on field trips, etc. I know - but at least that part is positive. Be thankful for that.

It is all hard to see I would imagine - so unfollow her. You can spare yourself those emotions - you're in control of that. Just don't follow, and that problem (that grief) is solved.

As for if you don't want her posting this stuff for safety reasons, as Diane points out, then no one can do the same ... so that's another thing altogether if you want to get into that.

I don't know about whether she can do chaperoning instead of your ex. You would have to check with your lawyer. I suppose your ex could have a family member do it, and that would be ok - so maybe a girlfriend is ok too. This is something to find out as I'm sure this will continue to happen, and other situations will arise as well. Good to consult your agreement and know what the agreement is.

Good luck.

It sounds like you need to talk to the lawyer about the girlfriend doing stuff at school as a substitute for your ex-husband. Perhaps since your ex isn't following the court rules about informing you, they will find in favor of her not being able to do this. The school would likely have to have a court order that tells them that she cannot be at the school.

I would not have any actually conversation with your ex. Communicate with him by text message or email so that you can show his abusive language to the court.

Okay, so, are you posting pictures of your son online, or is your ex? If so, you're being a hypocrite in targeting her just for being "the other woman." There should be no exceptions to your rule against posting photos of a child on social media, so they will need to be applied across the board. As to why the school didn't notify you about the field trip, that is a school issue. They are supposed to notify both parents, even if you're separated or divorced and if any additions are made to the emergency contact list and authorized pickup list, they are to be made by one of the parents. Talk to the school and your ex. He may have added his girlfriend and asked that communications be sent to her and to him. You can still ask the school to include you too, since you're the child's mother, and if they didn't, then it must have been an oversight from the school because by obligation, unless you terminate parental rights or ask that you be removed from the list, they should ALWAYS be including you.

I don't see the issue with her going on a field trip if she passed the background checks and has the time to be involved with the school. The staff will be there, so if your concern is that she will mistreat your son, I doubt she'd be dumb enough to do it in front of everyone, but if she is calling him her son, it sounds to me like she wants to be a part of his life and become close to him, not the opposite. She can also report issues like bullying or other things she may observe that would benefit your son, because no one else is aware of them due to not being present at the school. A lot of kids keep things like bullying a secret. I think you're having trouble moving on from your ex.

I don't know how long it's been since you broke up, but if you have no feelings for him, you would not care less what he is doing or who he is doing. As long as the woman isn't abusing your son or manipulating him against you, there is nothing inappropriate going on here and your ex has a right to date, if he'd like. They say it takes a village to raise a kid, and if someone mature, loving, and responsible wants to help raise your kid, you should do your best to be open-minded to that. Think of it this way, the woman may have no desire to be nice to your kid or tell you things that are going on if you go into this with a hateful mentality and attack her. If you're nice to her, she will be more inclined to be nice to you, your son, and make you aware of issues concerning your son.